Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

I know what you're going through

I am a 44 year old female who had cancer when I was younger. At that time- after multiple surgeries, I got addicted to painkillers and now, it has been an issue for 22 years.  I want to stop more than anything but maybe what I'm about to tell you, will change your perspective.  Recently, my Dr. called and told me that I have had a heart attack that wasn't treated.  Two years ago, after a LOT of abuse (21 pills a day, washed down with a bit of alcohol just to make it "work") I was having chest pains. So I went to the hospital but was unable to be honest with them about my problem.  They did a series of tests and said that somehow, I had damaged my heart significantly.  Now, I get chest pains daily but am afraid to stop the pills because it makes it worse.  I can't afford rehab or detox so I'm trying to figure out how to do it alone.  Like some of you, I live in Canada which makes it almost impossible to quit.  I can buy codiene over the counter in small amounts which means I consume a LOT of them to get the same high.  Recently, I have been diagnosed with a brain tumour so now I am more alarmed because if I admit to my problem, and go through brain surgery, they won't give me anything for pain and that frightens me.  

I am going to try to quit on my own prior to any treatment for the brain issue but have been unsuccessful in the past at doing so.  But when my heart flutters, and my chest hurts, I SWEAR to myself that I'm going to stop.  Heart damage, liver damage and many other problems are a real issue with painkiller abuse and I can only warn you that you don't EVER want to experience those frightening moments associated with a heart attack.  Nobody knows, even my husband.
I'm scared.
Any thoughts?
4 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Well now you have friends! The support here does work, but aftercare is really important too. Try to get a plan together to wean down and quit, then stick to it. Much luv!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks so much for your feedback.  I am new at all of this and yours was the first reply.  It made me start crying.  I don't have any friends I would trust with this information but I'm starting to believe that online support may actually work.

Glad to hear your progress.  Keep it up!  You can do it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow it sounds like you have a problem. I could hear your fear. What do you think you should do? It sounds to me like these are killing you. Do you think withdrawls will kill you? It also sounds like you could use some support is there a reason you can't tell your husband?
Becca
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi mouse. welcome! Wow you have had your share! I am fairly new here, so i dont want to give you advice, but I will tell you that the fear of not gettign medicine when you really need it is jsut fear. there are non narcotic/opitae drugs now for pain. You cross that bridge when you get to it. As far as hubby not knowing, my husband was clueless and I fnally told him after 10 days or so (cant remmeber exactly as its kinda fuzzy). He was so suportive, which was shocking to me. he normally has the attitude that if you wanna stop, you just stop.Can you taper down your intake so the w/d arent too too bad? Maybe someone will come along that can help with a tapering plan. Do you have a trusted friend that may be able to help you taper? You have to stop (just like the rest of us). It clearly has afftected your body. Keep posting here. It got me through some of the worst days. Also, if you pray, not would be a good time to amp up the prayers. I pray like nobody's business these days. I am proof that you can do it...32 days clean today. Glad you're here! xxoo God bless
Others will be on later this afternoon. look on the health pages (right side) for amino acid and thomas recipe to help with w/d.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.