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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

I need help with vicodin addiction

I was in a car accident quite a few years ago and suffer with cronic pain. I was refered to a pain management doctor and was subscribed Vicodin Es. 120 pills a month. Well I became addicted very quick. I started taking about 10 a day. I was only supposed to take 4 a day. When I would run out I would call the Dr. and tell him my purse was stolen or was goimg on vacation for a month and needed an early refill. Not a question ever asked. I used all different pharmacies and often told them I didnt have insurance just so it wouldnt say refill to soon. Then I got to the point were I would use a whole bunch of different doctors. Well I got to the point where I couldnt take it any more. I was tired all the time. I have small children and i was concerned about my future with them. So one day I called my husband at work and told him I needed to go into a hospital for a few weeks because I was an addict. This was so hard. He had no clue. So I did just that. Stayed for 2 weeks. Got through the withdrawls and came home thinking I will never do that again. They told me in the hospital that I would need to go to meetings but I said no I dont need that. I am not your "typical drug addict". I thought that all I needed to do was get it out of my system then I would be fine. Well I was wrong. A couple months after I got out I was at work and in a lot of pain. A co-worker handed me 2 vicodin. And here I am again. It is alot worse this time. I take about 20 7.5's a day. My husband told me if I ever take another vicodin again he will leave me. I have no support here. I dont want to lose my family. So there is no way i could tell him. I have only 1 pill left and I am having difficulty getting more today. I am scared to death. Every time I would get them I would say this is it no more I am gonna whine myself off this time. Every day when I would toss two in my mouth I would say ok tomorrow I will just take one at a time. Tomorrow never seemed to come cause I kept taking them and now I am down to one and desperate. If anyone has advice PLEASE let me know soon. Thamks for listening.
111 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi I have a vicodin addiction.3 years for me, I was up to 30 5/500's a day.first you need to let your Dr.know your problem and a close freind who can dole them out to you when your dose is due.My Dr.cut me 10% a day, I am now down to 6 a day with no hospitalation.I'm not saying it's easy but truely think it can be accomplished with a close freind involved every step of the way.My father is my freind because mt husband just can't except that I have an addiction. He thinks I can just totally stop and never think about vicodin again,you and I know this is not true.I think you can probly get around telling your husband.
Best of luck!!!! I'll be thinking of you!!
Avatar universal
You must tell your doctor  because otherwise you will continue to have this happen.  Your doctor may help you wean off them, or you need to find an addiction specialist who can assist you with medication such as buprenorphine to detox.  Read the posts below regarding medications that will help.  Unfortunately, you will probably need to level with your husband because he is going to know something is going on.  Finally, you need to go to meetings and take this seriously.  It doesn't matter how or why you got addicted, you now have all the same problems all addicts have.  You must get help and continuing support or you will find yourself right back here in the future.  Good luck and keep posting to let everyone know how you are.
Avatar universal
Hi, I am not sure what I can do ,but i too am going thru the same thing I am 38, a mother of 2 wonderful kids and have a good jpb etc...I take about 8 reg strenghth vics a day, but found myself doing the same things..no insurance...different docs...etc..I cannot do this anymore,so I went to my doctor yesterday and told him everything.I am now on a 2 month withdrawel program. I feel sooo much better. Fortunately my husband is understanding,your husband maybe should go with you to the doc. I am a total type A personality and felt like a failure but we are not alone....write  me anytime!!!
Avatar universal
Well I did it! I went to the doctors today and told him everything. I start out-patient rehab in the morning. I also told my husband who was alot more understanding then I thought he would be. Now comes the hard part. I took my last two vicodin around 3:30. It is now 6:41. Even though it has only been a few hours I am already starting with the withdrawls. I am used to taken 15 a day and I only had 6 today with no more in sight. I wish that I had some to get me through the night until I can get medicine tomorrow but I dont. I am in for a long hall but I know that I will make it through and it will be worth it. Well thank you all for your advice. I ask that you all pray for me and I will continue to pray for you. I will keep you updated.Thanks again.
Avatar universal
Dear Friend:  Please hang in there!! It will be a bit rough in the beginning, but think of what you will gain instead!!! Your life back...that is worth going through this and more.  I'm going into my third week of being clean and I can't tell you how much better this feels...it's like I'm alive again!  And not for a single minute will I forget all the people who helped and prayed for me through this forum...I am rooting for you!!! Focus...pray...and know that we have all been there and are here for you...every step of the way...you'll be in my prayers tonight...please let us know how you are doing!
Avatar universal
I'm so happy to hear you have started on the road to recovery.  Remember, there are bumps in the road but take it one day at a time and before you know it you'll have your life back. Good luck!
Avatar universal
I'm really glad to see you're doing well.  Please remember not to become complacent.  Most of us relapse because we think the withdrawal is the easy part when that is actually alot easier than not taking the pills again.  All my best.  Brian
Avatar universal
Well today was the first day of rehab. Last night went better then I thought. I took some nyquil to help me sleep. This morning was bad. I woke up sweaty and cold. Very shakey and anxious. I got to the rehab at 7:30am. I felt as though I would die. I went through a whole lot of paper work and then a physical. Then I sat in a meeting for what seemed to be eternity. Finally they gave me some meds. Something to relax me and a patch to calm the cravings. Also so vitiamns and motrin to ease the muscle twitches.  It really didnt make me feel any better. I wanted so desperatly to leave and go get another script but I didnt. I keep telling myself that I can do this and am constantly asking God for the strenghth to get through this. I know that I couldnt do it with out the prayers and the faith. I took a tranqulizer around 1:30 (given to me by them) and fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up I felt better. (to my surprise) Its 9:30 now and I am feeling sick all over again. Time to take another tranqulizer and go to bed. I have to be at rehab at 8:00am (thank God!) Hopefully I will have a good night and better day tomorrow. Thanks for listening! God Bless all of you.
Avatar universal
I didn't get your name, but I sure as hell got your problem.  I am 33 years old married and have 4 wonderful children.  I am also as addicted to Vicodin as anyone can get.  I take up to 50 vicodin ES's a day and have been for years. I have been in rehab once before 4 years ago and lasted less than a week and have been taking them almost every day since then.  I have once again come clean to my wife and family today and finally admitted that I was an addict. I am going to rehab very soon(probably tuesday 3-21) but would love to talk with you and possibly help if i can
Avatar universal
I cant really call myself no where to turn any more since I found somewhere and some one to turn to. So my name is Lori.Its 5:30 in the am and I have been awake for hours. Day two without the vicodin and still very anxios. I feel still as I will crawl out of my skin and die but I know that thats not gonna happen. Keep asking God for the strenghth and although I feel very weak the days seem to be going by faster. My husband is being wonderful through  this whole thing. I have to go to rehab today at 8:00am(thank God again)and praying that I will feel better when I get home.

To Jim, The only advice I can give you is to go to the rehab asap! It is hard for me to give advice because I am just in the begining of this huge battle with the devil. Just go and know and keep in your head that you are not gonna die no matter how the withdrawl is making you feel. You WILL die if you continue to use the way you are. You cant do it on your own. We tell ourselves that we can and we keep saying next script I am gonna ween myself off but it nevercomes. I dont  know if you are Christian. If you are it is very important to push that devil out that has been controling you for years and let God in. The power of prayer is amazing and I will pray for you and myself and everyone else going through this on here. Dont wait though do it TODAY!! Please keep in touch and God Bless..Lori
Avatar universal
I just read all the responses to Vicodan, I must say I am really scared now of what is about to happen.  I have been on them for over a year now, and my Dr. now refuses to refill my script.  I am in the middle of moving out of state, I just lost my house and also my job, I really feel like I have nothing left in life.  The Vics seemed to help me get through the day.  I tried to talk to my Dr. but to no avail.  If anyone has a suggestion of something that can help until I get re settled, it would really be appreciated.  To all the rest of you with the same problem, be strong and keep the faith, I know we will all get through this somehow, someway, but mostly with Gods help I am sure.  I find this really hard for me because I am the mother of an addicted child, maybe not scripts but other drugs.  I always said it would never happen to me.  As you see, that is not true.
Good Luck All.
JT
Avatar universal
Good luck with the rehab.  You may want to have your doctor check to see if you have damaged your liver from taking so much aceteminophen.  I don't know if you are aware of it or not but you have been taking far in excess of the safe amount.  I would suggest you begin taking milk thistle which has been clinically shown to protect the liver and even to reverse damage.
Avatar universal
I think since your doctor is cutting you off, you should request that he give you some medications to assist with your withdrawal.  Clonidine, perhaps Xanax or some other tranquilizer and/or something like Baclofen will all make it a bit easier.  The bad news is, it isn't going to be easy regardless.  Good luck.
Avatar universal
I had been sober from alcohol for almost 10 years. Thought vicoden was okay since it was prescribed by the Dr.  Then when I was arrested for forgery.. oh my god there were so many prescriptions at different pharmacies... i vowed to take the wake-up call and be wise.  I ended up drinking alcohol since it was recommended that I change my sobriety date.. then, i couldn't stop drinking AND i was still getting my hands on the vicoden. i was taking 80 vicoden a day.  2/28/99 I got my 13th DUI. Then I stopped drinking (usually takes some drastic measure to get me to stop) but I still wouldn't admit i had a problem with vicoden. On 2/1/00, my son's father sued me for custody of our 8yr old boy. His "informants" let him know about the vicoden abuse and he wants to protect our son. "But I'm functioning." I tell myself and everyone. "And I'm doing great.. Look at my successes. Look at my friends and business and cars and new home." I still didn't accept this SIGN of time to quit and accept my addiction. The custody battle isn't over.  But my admission of powerlessness over vicoden and the willingness to do something about my addiction is finally here.  I believe this is a spiritual awakening and that God let me go through all the denial and humiliation and more until I could finally concede to myself that I had a problem.  Nobody could tell me so. I didn't want to give it up.  I really fooled myself into thinking I was okay in spite of these huge amounts of vicoden I was taking, stealing, forging, etc.  Now:  I want my life back. I want my spiritual connection and the freedom. I want to live without being dependent on a damn drug. I want to rely on a Higher Power to give me strength, not pills.  i need to face my problems and fears, not hide & run & escape to Vicoden.  I'm getting too old on top of it all.  At 38 yrs old, I can only imagine how my 38 yr old liver is ticking.  Thanks all for your input. It is inspiring to me. I'm on day 3 and I really feel great.  Took a baking soda bath, have some milk thistle and yes, a lot of coffee..  Oh well, progress, not perfection.  Oh I wish us all success in beating this opiate. We really can do it; however not alone.  I love 12 steps. Helped me with alcohol.  Good luck everyone.
Avatar universal
Thank you for sharing your story.  It should be a reminder to us all of the danger of the thinking that it is okay to use a drug as long as it isn't our drug of choice.  I am sure you are going to stay vigilant about ALL drugs in the future.  Take care, Brian
Avatar universal
Brian: I am vigilant. Atleast I try to be. That try word sucks doesn't it... but being alone with my fears and realities of life is very scary. and hard. and as an addict and an alcohol, i WANT to escape and FIX me and not feel the fears, loneliness, insecurity. What do I do?  I face them, ask God's help or angels, read something uplifting, call a friend or sponsor, pray, go to a meeting, write to this forum. OK GREAT. I'm doing that now. And I'm taking big time credit at this moment. But this is the hard part. Staying clean and abstinent and doing the right thing for me is really hard. The easy thing to do is to take something. Even eat or sleep or some bullshit escape mechanism. I don't feel like calling somebody. I don't even feel like reading anything. I did ask God and my two real-or-imaginary-who-the-hell-knows angels to "stay with me. help me please. don't leave me" a few moments ago.  I'm really friggin happy you wrote something to me; believe me, that is to me right now a sign from the "abstinence angels" so this note has a few messages.  One is, cool, i'm doing some footwork to stay clean for the time it takes to type this, and two, thank you brian.  your words, addressed to me, have given me the little "angelic boost" i needed right now.
Lynn
Avatar universal
I know how hard it is right now for you.  I remember the despair and feeling like life would never get better or be worth living without the painkilers.  These feelings WILL pass and it will get easier.  Sometimes when it is really hard instead of taking it one day at a time, just do it a minute at a time.  Before you know it you will have your life back.  Life is not always fun and sometimes without the drugs we feel like we can't make it.  When I'm feeling that way I try to remember that even though I'm having a rough time I OWN THAT FEELING, it is real and not a drug buffered "happiness" which isn't real.  Hang in there and remember, God won't give you more than you can handle.  Brian
Avatar universal
Day #3. I feel a little better today. Physicaly anyway. Mentaly I feel like ****. I am so depressed. Just sad for no aperent reason. I look in the mirror and cry uncontrolably.I want a pill so bad. I keep telling myself just one more will make me feel ok. But I know that is not true. I hate what this is doing to me. I hate the fact that I lost control. I am so mad I cant stand it. When will I be me again.
Avatar universal
You will start feeling better soon.  The depression is unfortunate but perfectly normal for post acute withdrawal.  You may want to consult your doctor about an antidepressant.  I really think they help in the months after detox.  Hang in there it will get better.
Avatar universal
Thanks for the advice Brian. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better but it is so hard to imagine. Day4: Went to rehab today. Got my daily dose of meds. This rehab is very hard for me to handle. I dont feel as though I fit it. i know that we all have addiction in common but its not the same. We talked about triggers today and they gave us a list of things to look out for. Everyone in there could relate to these triggers but me. The only thing that triggered me to take the vicodin was the pain. So heres the question of the day. How do I stay away from that? It is nearly impossible to live a day without pain. Another thing we talk about is relapse. Everyoneone in there has been there like 10 times!! How promising is that? This whole process is annoying me to no end. I have no energy what so ever. I cant get out of my own way. This sucks!!!!!
Avatar universal
No offense, but from your description of events (taking way too many pills, lying to doctors, etc., as well as your past history with alcohol) you have more in common with those addicts than you think.  Yes, I am sure you have real pain.  However, it seems that once you had the pain you used that as a justification to abuse the medication.  The hard truth is that until you stop comparing out and start finding things to relate to with the other addicts you will not start true recovery.  You need to be truthful with yourself and decide if you really are in such horrible pain that you can't live without opiates.  If you are, then you need to find out whether what is causing the pain can be resolved.  If not, you will have to find a pain clinic willing to try other meds, etc. before they will commit to a lifetime of supplying you with opiates.
Avatar universal
this message is to anyone, I have been going through the exact same thing as all of you. I was in a car accident, got lots of vicodin, then I broke my finger, mor med. then i was in another accident, and of course more med. well, I guess you all get the point. Anyway, I want to quite taking them really bad!!!! I have not had an actual real script for any in about a month, but I have no problem getting them, from friends,family ect. I tried to tapper off and it lasted for about 2 days. Today I coulden't handle it anymore, i called both my doctors I was ready to do whatever they thought was best, but neither one ever called me back.I ended up obtaining another bottle of pills!!! I'm sooooo
mad at myself I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. If anyone has any advice I would be thankful. i'm a single mom, I just lost my job and I am starting to wonder what else I am gonna have to lose before I get real help!!!






Avatar universal
It sounds like you want help, so I would recommend NA.  Also, you need to tell the doctors what is going on so they will not keep prescribing to you.  You may need an outpatient program to help you detox.
Avatar universal
Thank tou for responding, I have been trying to reach one of my doctors for 2 days, finally, today my psychiatrist called me back. I have an appt. with him day after tomorrow(thursday). He told me to go ahead and take the few remaining pills I have left and when I see him thursday, we will set down and talk and he really sounds like he wants to help. He said there are several meds that he can give me to help with the withdrawl, I'm really scared though, I have a 7 yr old daughter, and I can't get involved in a big intense thing over this. My family has NO idea and if they were to find out, god only knows what would happen!!! So I guess you could say I'm pretty much doing this all alone!!! It's so hard.
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