I need help

[christine2222]

Cant seem to stop using. Taking more just to feel good.Tapered down a little & then just started back up again.Dont even care anymore.Just want to escape everything.

[studiogirl]

"by the way the person who is 43 days clean YOU will relapse! "
I think this meant towards me but why?
I cant believe I just read that. this is just what I was talking about earlier,  Its mean and sad.  CHristine - I fi you read this definitely do more research before considering methadone.  Ask sadinmichigan.  I think er journal has stuff on it. From reading your post I think your habit was not as blown up as mine and if I can do it, then I know can.
I know the escape feeling  so well.  Even sober, I still have to fight it all the time.  But itis your life and no matter how bad it is you dont want to missit going by.  From your posts, I think we have a lot in common, so write me if you every need to chat.
carrie

[sadinmichigan]

I think we have all felt the way you do at some point, but, the facts are..you have to care in order to stop taking the pills and you have to want to. The pills give you a "false" sense of feeling good when actually they are doing the opposite. I have wanted to escape many times too, as a matter of fact I have been feeling the same way these past few days. Life can throw us some pretty wicked punches..but there is no escape..running away only leads you back to what you are running from. I don't know if you go tochurch or anything but maybe you really should talk to someone..a pastor,counselor,therapist,someone..and maybe try getting on some anti-depressants. I finally decided to start taking Zoloft today...it's worth a shot. Today someone asked me if i was "making" my life happen or "letting" my life happen..there is a difference. Life doesn't magically change while we just sit and wait..it requires action on our parts..I really do know how you feel about giving up etc..I hope you decide to stand up and fight for yourself...take care

[wannabehappyagain]

Hey Sammy, i just wanted to say that i went one day off them and today i was back at them as my pain became too intense i had the most vivid dreams lastnite and didnt take any sleeping meds either i just had the weirdest sleep but i thought if i can make it one day after taking eight oxycocets the day before or more ... I was impressed i wonder if because they stay in ur system so long that the first day ur not really having major withdrawls till it actually leaves your body. This is the second time i did that, just did one day off and said, well if i can take one day off and its ok then Im not addicted what a bull **** story that is for any addict. We know frikken well it means nothing. I am a recovering alcoholic and it makes sense to me that i NEED something, but i would love a pill free drug free life. If anyone has any suggestions on how they quit and the least painful way, i have been taking them about a year or a bit less but i take about seven or eight a day, and thats split up between the day, i take one and a half wait a bit take another pretty soon it doesnt seem to matter if i take one more or two so I take two but they are not affecting me the same way and i tell my doc that. Say is there any stronger and he just says no and prescribes me more. When Im back what he would think all too soon he says you are sure going through these things and i say, yah cuz they arent working as good anymore. At that time u would think he may suggest something, but just gives me my prescription for another 100, used to be 60 now he makes it out for 100, hard to say , no i dont want them. So i feel Im in a vicious circle... Any help from anyone would be muchly appreciated., Im starting to feel like the happiness in life isnt there anymore. I think its cuz the pills are messing with the natural endorphins in your brain you cant feel that same ol happy feeling. I used to be so happy it annoyed ppl /. now i am sorta bitchy and get very agrivated easilly.
anyways anyone struggling, I hope u are all doing ok
thx for hearing my ramble..
Peace

[SammyTheSnail]

I'd love to hear of a successful taper ... when you've got a pocketful of Oxy's, you don't need much of an excuse to dig in before work, do a pick-me-up at morning break, lunch ... you know the story.

I hate the stuff now -- I get depressed about being strung out on them, depressed about taking two weeks off work to CT (the addiction doc won't prescribe clonidine or seroquel -- he likes the Methadone Monster or an in-house detox, and the waiting lists are long. Did it before, and it worked out well).

So, I'll be doing a really quick taper and jump off on Monday or Tuesday.Once you get past four days, the worst is usually over. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Getting too old for this nonsense ...

[esther009]

My DOC is hydro too.  And I too loved the feeling I got when taking cough medicine with hydro in it and Vicodin.  And like you, none of the other drugs had the same effect on me as hydro did.  I just found this site today and began posting.  And I'm so happy that you have had the courage to post as well.  While part of you doesn't care and just wants to escape, by posting here, you are showing that there is another part that really does care.  And this is the part of you that will help you overcome this drug.  This . . . and the friends along the way who will share their stories with you and help you without judging you because they've been there or close to "there" themselves.  And I will be one of them, if you like?  I finally admitted for the first time in a public forum today that I have a big problem (15 years now, on and off) with pain killers, and that I am ready to find a solution.  

I really like what broknbck stated that "So, you are taking the day off."  What a great way to let ourselves off the hook, and stop beating ourselves up (after all, the shame we feel for doing so just leads to an increased desire to take the Vicodin), and in the peace that results, even think of one little step we can do . . . whenever . . . to improve our lives even one little bit.  And for me, that improvement happened today as I decided to begin posting here.  And you have too.  

Please do keep writing, and we'll face our triggers and traumas together, 'kay?  

What has seemed like the end . . . has turned out to be the beginning of something new.  

[broknbck]

Well Christine, so you are taking the day off.  What is done is done.  Take advantage of today and feel good. Let your frustrations calm down a bit here. While you are feeling more relaxed try to get a better perspective on a different way to do this. Don't give up completely. There is a way for everyone. You are just taking a break.
Maybe you need a little help here. My doctor perscribed me an anit-depressant to help while going through this and it did help. i no longer take it and there is no depression now.

[studiogirl]

I couldnt taper either.  I was up to 40 pills a day and it just seemed like to long o0f a road. Dont get down on yourself because it is really hard to taper when you are addicted.  Dont give up either.  I cant even tell you how many times I have relapsed but I never gave up -- even when it seemed totally pointless for me to get clean.  I have 44 days now and it things are definitely better.I didnt go the suboxone route because it cost too much but I did get prescribed detox meds for two weeks and went cold turkey.  If you have a doctor you can trust, you should go to them and tell them everything.  Maybe they can help you to taper or prescribe meds like mine did.  Believe me, you may think life isnt worth living without pills, but you will find it is even better.  keep posting and dont give up

[gizzy32]

i took the " scared you sober" route, lol. i don't suggest this way for anyone, but it does work

[worried878]

Tapering is hard for an addict...do u have someone to hold ur pills for u?...and NA like gizzy said or AA....u need some people to relate to..hearing some of their stories made me glad my botton was not a low as some of theirs..it was scary what happens to people in the end due to addition...it can scare u sober!

[cocobeanlisa]

Yes hydro was my DOC.....

I was at a lot more than when I quit.  I had to use suboxone to detox because
of the amount of hydro I took.  I found a great DR and followed a strict program
of taper..It gave me a chance at a new life.  It also allowed me to find a support
program too help with my recovery..

But before you go that route please PLEASE do your research on it, it is
not a cure all or a mircle drug.

Hang in there, life is worth living (clean)
coco

[gizzy32]

i agree with cattalina, check in to counselling or N/A. this is a very complex issue and quitting does take a lot of work at first. if you want this, you will succeed. never give up, you can do this. what are you escaping from? good luck

[cattalina]

Have you tried to taper off or considered an inpatient detox program or addiction counseling?  Addiction is a very complex issue, there's more to it than just the drugs and withdrawals - which is most likely what's pulling you back.  Don't stop caring and don't give up!!  Life can get better... keep posting!

[christine2222]

DOC is hydro about 12/ day. Nothing else does it for me Tried percodan,alcohol morphine,tylenol 3. Nothing else does it for me.Taking cough syrup with hydro in it & vicodin.Something about it keeps pulling me back. Funny in the beginning it never did much for me & now it seems I cant live without it.

[wannabehappyagain]

I am trying to get off the oxycoxet as i have been taking them about a year for a whiplash injury and yesterday i didnt take any, i was so mad cuz the day before i must have taken 8 of them and all i got was pissed off and emotional, it seems they arent working anymore so i wanted to stop them, so it is day two and Im thinking of taking one so instead came on here to see what others had to say. ok now i just took one and a half my way of tapering, My doctor told me that i am on the stongest ones or they only have one strength?. I am not feeling as bad as I thought just my stomach hurts and i have some major body aches, could this be my withdrawl symptoms...
thanks for all your comments, you can do it Christine one day at a time, and maybe get help with tapering?

[cocobeanlisa]

Talk to me...You can do this..
How much are/where you taking and what is
your DOC ?

cocobean

[lifesaride]

look into suboxone