I need some insight??!!

[Teetime4u]

I am in search of insight into active addiction. My daughter is an opiate addict who is now using the needle. What I need to know is what did you do while in active addiction to get your enabler to help you?? I am trying to understand the mind of an addict, so that I can help her to help herself and stop enabling!! Thanks for any insight you can give! God Bless.

[Teetime4u]

I hate when you have to choose "best answer" Everyone is so helpful to me. One thing that made 10356"s answer stick out is the reaction factor. Honestly I never considered it. But it is very possible for sure.  Again thanks everyone for your input...God Bless you all!!

[Teetime4u]

Thank you for your advice and you may be very right. I will take your advice to heart. I honestly do believe that she is getting something from my reactions. I am definately looking into alanon. I need some kind of tools to help deal with this. Thanks again for the advice. God Bless.

[Teetime4u]

Thank you and I will continue to post and read cause you are right I am at a crossroad where I just don't know what to do. I know what I need to do but it is a hard way to turn. And though it will be one of the hardest things I have ever done I will do whatever I need to do to save her from herself.

[feohmoon]

Once again, my heart goes out to you...The scary part is that although she may not like heroin now, opiate addiction tends to progress quickly, especially if she is already using such strong opiates, and she will get to a point where the percs no longer do the job.  
You are in our prayers...I wish that I had some words of wisdom or some advice as I can see that you are not sure where to turn...I would not know where to turn either...
I am glad that you found this forum because you need an outlet for your feelings.  Perhaps alanon could be something that would benefit you.  Please continue to post, the people here are wonderful and caring and can at least offer you some insight into addiction and the behavior of addicts.. I am an addict and sometimes I do not understand my own behavior.
Best of luck to you and your family....
Peace & Love

[Teetime4u]

I know for a fact that she is using the needle, shooting oxy,perks,heroin she said she didn't like it(heroin that is). Her drug of choice is perks. She is talking about going to rehab but when I offer to help her get in she gets mad about it, which tells me she is not ready yet.I have talked a lot about her addiction with her and have talked to her about what I have learned on this site.She is on a downward spiral for sure. I am trying to get her to a na meeting but she says yea and clams so I don't know what to do all I honestly do is wait for her to say enough and hope it happens sooner than later.

[gnarly_1]

HI....god how I hate these posts it brings up a lot of memory's for me...I also had a daughter that was an addict she hit the streets at the age of 13 crack/meth where her DOC this is always hard for a parent ...one of the first things I will highly recommend is ALANON meetings
it will teach you the skills and give you the tools to deal with this it also will offer you support
and give you a place to vent...both my wife and I went for several years as for enabling
if you are doing anything that allows her to continue to use you are enabling her...it can be as simple as giving them money...or as complex as providing a roof over there head wile they use...we tend to not want to see our kids hit rock bottom and we rescue them thinking we are helping....we tried everything rehabs court order drug consoling taking her to N/A meetings and the list goes on...it wasnt till she was ready to get clean that she finely went into recovery I wish this had a fairy tale ending but it took her getting involved in a near fatal auto axedent to wake her up then when they threw her back in juvi at 16 she found recovery she has been clean ever since and she is going on 22...I really feel for your situation dont believe a word she says if you think she is using she probably is...now that she has graduated to needle she is probably doing heroin...it is cheeper then other narcotics and its plentiful...you need to have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know you know whats going on....always leave an open door if there ready for recovery....talk about recovery...stick around on this forum so you learn what it takes to get off narcotics there is always somebody just starting out and someone a couple of days into it you will get a good feel for what she is going to have to go threw to get clean...and keep in mind the whole idea of withdrawals frightens most addict so much they wont stop I wish you luck with this you might want to mention rehab to her depending on how deep shes in she may be open to it good luck and God bless....Gnarly        

[Teetime4u]

My daughter is very open with me about her addiction. She has showed me her track marks ect...she says she wants to stop but that she also enjoys the high... Don't want to be sick blah blah blah. She is talking about going to a clinic( methadone) but it all could be smoke. She doesn't live with me she has her own place so there is not a lot I can do to make things hard for her when drug seeking. I have stopped giving her cash but she almost lost her apartment 3 times and I kicked in to keep a roof over her head. Which is my next step at stopping, cause she will buy her drugs over anything else.

[janet19]

There are so many things that we do as parents to enable our children when the use. We don't even recognize what we are doing. We want them to be save and alive and we tend to give in to them and get or give them things they want.

One thing do not give her money, if she needs anything you buy it for her. If she has money she will use it for drugs. You can drug test with a kit you can get in any pharmacy and let her know that she can not stay in your home if she will not do the test. Don't give in no matter how hard she cries or begs. Make rules stick to them, don't step off of those rules an inch. Don't allow her user friends in your home or car and ask he to tell them not to call your home. Do what ever it takes to make it hard for her to use especially if she lives in your house. It takes a lot of tough love to help our children at this point.

this does not mean that you cannot love her, just make it hard for her to get things she wants, if it is food buy the food never give money. I am just trying to think of the things that might help. My son had a problem with pot and started taking pills but it was nibbed in the butt before it went to far that is the pills I mean. The pot took yrs and even when he said he stopped he didn't. He is clean now after 15yrs but it took me to have a reason. I got hooked on opiates after taking painkillers for back pain and that 8yrs of using was hard to stop he ended up at an NA meeting with me and he sat and cried and told me he was still using and that he never would again. There stories at NA got to him and he told everyone he smoked with and is finally done. Thank God he got it.

Just love her and try to keep her as safe as you can without giving in. I will pray for you and your daughter. Try to get her to go to NA and you can go with her to some meetings that are open. You should try to find an Alanon meeting for yourself and they will help you with what it is like to be an addict and give you ways and ideas how not to enable her. It is for families of addicts. In no way is this your fault so don't ever think that. Nothing you could have did or said would of stopped her if she wanted to use. And she is the one that has to want to get clean, if she doesn't there is not a thing you can do to make her......please try Alanon for yourself........God Bless

[quitinoxys]

Understanding the mind of an addict is not an easy thing to do. I am an addict and I am just learning some things about my addiction. What I am trying to say is there is a lot of different reasons we are addicts there isn't a one cause like having a cold. Have you talked to your daughter about her drug use? If you don;t want to enable her just don't. If she is doing drugs in your home tell you don;t want her to and if she persists she will have to leave. Don't give her money so she can't buy drugs basically don't give her any help in obtaining her drugs. Until she wants to get clean I am sorry to say that you wanting her to stop won't do a thing. One thing you could try is to have an intervention sometimes they are successful but again on if the addicts wants the help. As far as what I did to get my enabler to help my addiction I would just tell that this is the last time I am going to quit tomorrow Yeah right it was all BS until the next time. So the way to handling being an enabler is don't be an enabler. As I said addicts are master manipulators. I hope I answered your questions and good luck with your daughter.

[feohmoon]

Once someone has graduated to the needle, it adds another degree of difficulty to quit as the act itself becomes an addiction.  
Does she get financial help from you?  Or pills?  I would say they are the 2 most common things provided by enablers.
I know that you love your daughter, it must be heart-wrenching to go through this as a mother and my heart goes out to you.  It also makes my heart break a little bit just to think of how I have hurt my mother in the past....
Does your daughter admit her addiction or recognize that she has a problem?

[dominosarah]

Hi girl!!!  It's me sara.  It may be a little slow here this time of night so keep checking back.  One of the other cl's here has experience with this also and i believe he is still on right now.  We have other members on here who have loved ones that are addicted and they will give you good advice.  I am going to send gnarly a message right now.........