Thanks for checking on me! I agree with everything you said, Getting him on here will be impossible this I know. He was raised to not talk about mental illness or addiction, you just suck it up work hard and get over it! I may be able to convince him to go to a meeting with me, but my best chance is to have him go to my therapy appt, so a professional can explain things. I have a lot of childhood trauma I need to still work through, and remember taking my moms seizure pills to commit suicide at 7 years old. This has everything to do with my constant self medication. Im not looking for pity, this is just cold hard fact. He will come around, and if he doesn't I am a strong intelligent woman that can make it on my own, in a much better place than this cesspool! So I found a meeting and 3 addiction specialists, and I still have to call our insurance because they have different ones that they use coz its free. So, email me, tell me about your day, and see if you can guess the lyric, I went easy on you this time! much Love C.
I think he is on his way to accepting it, Im sure it isn't what he really wants to hear , he also has a very demanding and dangerous job. He is supportive of therapy so that's a start. He never understood when the pills were gone , he was like no biggie, and I was a freaking basket case scheming, lying ,hustling to get more. I agree, its just our chemical makeup, he has no depression, no childhood trauma, no panic/anxiety disorder, He is mentally healthy and Im not, but hopefully I will be one day. Much Love, Carrie
Oh yes, Congrats on day 13, doppleganger! :))
Mornin' Carrie Anne! :)
This is why I was asking you whether or not he Truly knew what it meant to be an addict. His resistance to seeing you this way may be due to any of the following or a combination therein:
1) He's an addict in denial himself.
2) He's been around addictive behavior a lot & simply isn't educated as to what it really entails & what will be required going forwards.
3) He's in denial that you're an addict b/c he doesn't know how to handle it, it frightens him & he doesn't like to think about you that way.
One thing is certain: This means that he (at the very least) it 'co-dependent' & will be enabling you until he understands. I'd suggest that you get him to the site so that he can read, read, read -- maybe talk to us -- post or whatever -- so that you can do this as a family. We also have a 'Living w/ an addict forum'. If you go the meetings route, there's also the possibility of Al Anon for him.
Maybe you could explain how important this is to you, that you're not misguided in this, that you've known it for a long time & that it's been hard for you to talk about it.
I'm proud of you for spending your time here yesterday productively & for listening & thinking about what folks here are sharing w/ you! :) (Yup, I checked on you during my break @ work ;))
my husband and I are the same way too Carrie, I get sick without the pills, he takes them also but when we run out it doesn't bother him a bit. I am being to think are chemicals must be very different, Glad to see you on here !
OMG Carrie!!! Your situation is just like mine!!!!! My husband was the exact same way!! He has a very demanding business job and for years he took a few of my pills every day and could walk away like it was nothing!! He never ever understood why I couldn't do the same! I think it's just a different chemistry. Now, that was years ago before my back surgery when I had a heavy problem. Today, he is so very supportive of me. He has been taking care of our girls! I think it is most certainly the chemistry. Some can simply walk away like it's nothing! My husband has since accepted that I can not.
I will try! Overthinking is my downfall! You are right, I am extremely fortunate to have this man in my life. One Day at a Time. Thank you all, I feel much better. XXOO
That was my first thought too, that perhaps if he admits that you're an addict then he may have to face his own demons. Most likely though he is just incredibly supportive and wants to make you feel normal. Thank God he is there for you. Take it one moment at a time and don't over think it
He used to use a lot more years ago, but hasn't taken pain pills in over 2 yrs, he doesn't drink alcohol or anything else, Do you think there are different levels of addiction? Like Im at one end of the spectrum and he is at the other? Maybe you are right, he would never admit a weakness like that, He is a mans man, never had depression or anxiety like I have. Thank you for your insight
You said he uses to sometimes? If so I would say it's his way of not having to admit he may have a problem, too.