Oxycodone hell

[Oxymomma]

Ive been on Oxycodone for 5 years. My dosage has slowly increased from 40mg day to 120 mg day. Sad thing is i am still in pain and I don't remember my pain EVER being tgis bad bedore I went on any medication. I have RA and FMS and I'm also doing infusions for my RA.

I've decided I'm sick of being broke due to paying for my pain management Dr and still being in pain. My life revolves around how many pain pills I have and I've missed out on so much. I used to never even take Tylenol and now I feel like I'm one step away from illegal drugs. So I want to quit oxy. BUT IM TERRIFIED OF WD AGAIN. I lost my medicine (2nd time in 5 years) and now I'm scrambling to find something to curb the we. I am the only one working as my hubs is disabled (novel of a story in itself). I cannot take off work. So I've bought Kratom and I have about 2 weeks of Clonidine.

So my question....5 years of regular Oxy, how long will the wd last? I want to say its not a mental thing, but I'm scared it may turn into it. Especially with as scared I am of WD. But then again is it denial? Idk...I can get just about any illegal drug, but cannot get oxy from anyone. Which makes me feel more of a loser. I have no one to take care of me so I am lost at what I am capable of.

Is there any help out there for people like me? I cannot expose my situation because I will lose my job, house, car, insurance, everything.