IM READY TO STOP USING, BUT IDK IF I CAN...

[LostGirl321]

I'm  Jennifer, I'm 15 years old and i have been using hardcore drugs since i was 12. I've always smoked pot, then it was drinking, then it was coke, after that it was xanax, i got really bad with MDMA powder or exstacy but thank god eventually got over all that. Anyways what im getting at is I started doing blues like 2 years ago and it has gotten really bad. The town that i live in is horrble and what gets me the most is i live in florida on the beach? Everyone seems to be snortin or shooting up blues it's rediculous. I hate the withdrawls and i just want to be done, i am too young to get caught up in this. I just don't know if i should try to detox at home or go to a facility. It's even harder because im still a kid and i try an hide it from my mom so it is not like i can have her support. I let you guys know when i get through this b/c i've finally gotten to the point where the word BLUES makes me sick b/c that iis what my life revoles around and it is sickening. To anyone out there who has never done an opiate DON'T it is deffinatly not worth it. Oxycottin will suck you into a world you don't want to be in. I wish somone would have educated me about roxy's && everything else before guys started breaking me out lines....Maybe the drug sponsers should focused more on pills then they do weed. ya feel me?

[stilltrying1965]

thank you for letting us know she is just a baby and needs help fast before matters get worse .As we all know they will she can be saved with help &support you got that wee lassie mh members quickly you are awesome for letting mh members know so quickly thank you sophie you are a star my fav texas gal james kim xxx

[SophieShine]

Thank you all so much for responding so fast. xxx. sophie.

[jimi1822]

Hey Jennifer, I'm jimi :o)

              Honey Your only 15, you've learned a hard but valuable lesson young. When
       I got into opiates (vicodin) in 1989 I was working as a exercise physiologist doing
      cardiac wellness and it started off innocently enough. I hurt myself working out
      (or I used that as an excuse) I really can't recall, regardless I started to take 1 - 2
      tabs Q4 - 6H which transfers to 1 -2 pills every 4 - 6 hours after about two weeks
      I started taking 3 every 4 - 6 hours. and I told my Dr I needed more because the pain
      was getting worse, and being that I was in medical field he saw it as an opportunity
      for me to start working for him doing cardiac rehab and submax stress tests, long
      story semi short. I worked my way up to a 60 - 80 pill a day habit which transfers to
      8 - 12 pills every 4 - 6 hours. and that was just to keep (hold) me from getting sick. the
      next thing I know its 1999 and I'm in the hospital detoxing. After 63 days of severe
      detox ( no sleep at all ) I stayed with my parents for another 4 months before I could
      start working again. It felt like I crawled through hell on my stomach and met  the
      demon face to face. Yea it sucked big time. But I Thank GOD I did make it through
      that very dark valley only because I never lost Faith in GOD and realized I did this
      to myself. now it is 2009 in june I will be 10 years clean (PTL) I got married 4 years
      ago to my best friend :o) and life although it has its hills and valleys is Great!!! It is
      much better to go through my journey clean and sober and enjoy life, I feel like I lost
      10 years of my life but it was a very valuable lesson that I choose to share with who
      ever is going through this valley. I will Pray for You and for your Wellness. Learn from
      me!!! I went through hell so hopefully you and anyone who can hear and learn from my
      story won't have to.

                                                               Peace, Love Compassion, and Light

                                                                                                        jimi =0)

[avisg]

From the moms perspective I would be more devastated if my daughter had a drug problem and didn't come to me for help .Trust your mom hun ,she will be sad and scared but she will also know what is going on so she can help.She will help you both can come threw this .Whatever pain you are trying to medicate over will be better if you get it out .We are here to help .If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me .
Avis

[stilltrying1965]

my name is james and yes i started using drugs at 15 mainly weed at first slowly progressing to pills ie valium,uppers,ectasy ,mdma,coke and finally 13 years ago the drug from the devil himself HEROIN. Every drug before that i could stop but opiates are a nightmare. Anyway i joined this site just over 3 weeks ago and with all the support from people on this site me and my wife just started to c/t straight away and we havent touched it for 22 days now. It was and still is very hard but you are young and im pleading with you GET OUT NOW I know how hard it is believe me withdrawing from a 13yr heroin habit is hell but we done it. If we can do it so can you but you will need support. I understand you not wanting to tell your mum as my wife was in the same position she didnt want to hurt her mum any more as she had been through a lot. So while i was coming off it my wife pretended she was ill and had a very bad flu. You said you feel like your life had changed since coming on this site, well thats exactly how we felt when we came on it too. But the main thing is it DID change our life coz for the first time in 13yrs we are heroin free and life is so different. We forget how good life is without drugs and think we need them to function but when you do see the other side of life again you get a high in that itself. Personally i think you should try and come off without the subs as i think they are dangerous if not being controlled properly and as you are so young i dont know if your hardcore enough to need them. Maybe im wrong, different things for different people. But you will have to get w/ds at some point when you come off the subs. As i say it is hard i wouldnt lie to you if you read my journals itll give you an insight what we went through but it was so worth it jennifer. I promise you it really is an amazing feeling. Like my wife you can use here as your support and aftercare. Thats what she is doing. But you have a counseller also which will be a help too. You will need support and if you dont want to tell your mum we will all support you here anytime you need it. I am 43 jennifer and lost a lot of years of memories due to this drug but you are young and you seem to want to do it you sound as if you do as it will only work if you really do want to stop. But we believe in you and know you can do this. You can get in touch anytime and ask me anything you want and we will answer you me or my wife are off and on most of the time so 1 of us should be here. I actually hadnt noticed your post until a good friend (totallost) got in touch with me about you. Thats how worried and concerned people on this site are we really want to help. You are young and beautiful but the drugs will take all that away. My wife lost her teeth and aged before her time but in the last 3 weeks she looks 100 times better already. I have added you as a friend and please get in touch any time you want we really want to help you. Sending you strength and our thoughts. James and Kim

[teko]

Hi Jen. Let me share a little of myself with you. I have 6 kids. 3 boys and 3 girls. All are gone and raised now. My oldest boy died of aids in 1999. My youngest boy married and had a child that had a brain mass. They did surgery and removed the mass but the little one all of a year, stroked out, leaving him mentally retarded and not able to use one side of his body. My son turned to the biker/drinking world and is still there to this day, doing drugs etc. My middle son married a gal with a methadone addiction, had 5 children and is now raising them alone because Mom overdosed and died last year. Fortunately the three girls are doing fine and I am so proud of them, but they had their times too.  As a mom, let me tell you, your mom suspects you are using but has no proof. Turn to your Mom and get help getting off these drugs. Your life may very well depend on it. We never think these horrible things can happen to us, but they do. You cannot do this by yourself and if you think so you are in denial. Get a therepist to help you understand why you use and if you must go inhouse to do it. Do it. You are young and beautiful but are going to ruin any chance of a decent life if you continue. My daughter in law was beautiful once too, when she died she looked like an old woman and all swelled up and blotc hy. She was all of 32. You have time to stop this from happening to you. Act now, Talk to your Mom, thats what us Moms do. She would rather help you now then find you dead one day. Hugs

[imadoit28]

yeah u shouldnt be doin that ish...i dunno if thats you but if it is ur gorgeous u shoudlnt need drugs to make ur life good and u seem like a pretty down to earth girl...just stay clean its def worth it i know from experience

[SophieShine]

Hi,
First of all, welcome, you are at the right place. I don't know where to start with your addiction(s) but I know a lot of people that can help you better than I ever could. I msg them and I'm sure, you gonna have a lot of feedback. Hang in there. xxx. sophie.

[LostGirl321]

My whole teen life i've gotten messed up so even when i stop doing the blues i want to get f*cked up! wether it's coke, mdma, bars, weed, whatever it *****. is anyone else like that?

[LostGirl321]

This sounds really corny but this website has changed my life alot in the last couple of days, i feel so much less alone and i actually feel understood.

[Holliee]

I can understand where you are coming from i to didn't want to hurt my grandparents and i never told them about me having to go on methadone main. treatment but it was that or die . It's not that I want to lie to them I just don't want to hurt them any more. So I understand when you say that. You need to becareful w/xanax they are awful also to w/d from they can send you into seizures etc.... Remember when taking sub don't take anything else will send you into w/d and don't snort sub don't give you effect of sub and will make you sick I know alot about this if you want to talk beside on this message me and we can would like to try help you I added you as friend...Hope to hear from you  

[imadoit28]

yeah ur smart to get out now..i live in a boring city in ny and there aint ish to do here so i started takin oxy's and vic's for a basketball injury then got addicted but im on day 7 of bein clean and this is my 2nd time quittin the first time i quit for like 5 days and started back up ...just keep urself busy ...if ur worried about ur mom maybe tryin pretending ur sick on a wed and stay real sick till friday and then u'll have the weekend too ...i never thought id be able to stop for a while and it was awful cuz i had wanted to for so long but now that im this deep into the withdrawal its so worth it...i still am having a lil bit of wd's every now and then ..but when im not and im feeling pretty good im happier than i ever was when i was crunked on those stupid *** pills...and be careful with the suboxone it can be very addicting and i have friends who took that and said withdrawal is way worse from that

[LostGirl321]

id rather fight it out alone or with just my counselor then devastate my mom, she doesnt need that kind of stressed my dads getting remarried...

[LostGirl321]

thank you guys for responding and Dave made me cry , so sweet, i know your are all right but the thing about my mom is i don't want her to not trust me anymore she knows i had a problem with them && i withdrwled like 5 months ago but started using again without her knowing and she asks me sometimes  if i've taken anything and i say no so if i tell her now i've been using then she will know ive been lieing to her which i hate. im already in a 12 step program for getting caught with a blue.. i told my counselor i relapsed last night so i took suboxine today which was really hard for me to do but i did. Im going to just take suboxine and a little valume or xanax to come off, hopefully it works. I've never wanted to stop using as bad i do know because I know if i dont get out now i might not ever get out. :(

[Holliee]

Hello Honey I wish you nothing but the best and I don't know what kind of mother you have but I would sit her down and tell her the truth so you can get the help you need. If you try to do it at home w/out telling anyone when you start w/d they are going to think that s/thing is awful wrong with you cause w/d from these things will make u want to bash your head in make stop I know I WAS an oc user for 6 yrs and it almost killed me and my parents were type that never belived in drugs and have never done them he!! they never even drank when i got so bad that I knew if i didn't stop I would die I broke down and told then and they were mad at first but then loving and understanding an got me help i needed. Pls get help don't let them take your life you are a beautiful young girl who has her whole life ahead of you if you have any questions feel free ask me God Bless

[mother09]

Hi Jennifer,
I am the mother of an addict, he is 22 now and started oxy when he was 17, talk to your mom...even though it willbe hard for her to hear, you need her support to get through this, you can not do it alone...trust in your mother's love...i have gone thru it all with my son, withdrawals, detox, programs, court, more detox.....get help now! you have ur whole life ahead of you! u r in my thoughts!