I'm Surviving ROA Correction

[KansasSunflower]

To everyone who has given me support and advice, I have not insufflated any of my pills since Wednesday.  I had planned to do my pills intranasally for the last time Tuesday, and start the withdrawal process Wednesday, but I had too many necessary errands Wednesday, so Thursday, yesterday, was my first day not insufflating my pills.  I have only gotten two hours of sleep, can't think straight, am not even driving, have the chills, fever (and then my temp goes below normal), sweating, cold and hot, very loose bowels, but so far no serious nausea or vomiting.  I am experiencing the burning in my neck, arms and upper back (which may be a symptom unique to me due to my history with shingles?).  Though the burning may be a common withdrawal symptom, I don't know.  I definitely have insomnia.  I have been taking Benadryl and Tylenol PM for the cold symptoms.  So far, I haven't gotten the shingles again.  I did get some little blisters on the fingerprint side of my index finger, and other skin reaction on my hands, like stress--induced eczema.  Stress causes skin reactions on me, like hives, etc.  I know I'm a lightweight, and others may handle this better--after all I am swallowing three pills a day, I didn't go cold turkey, like others, but I know my body and knew I wouldn't be safe to even drive.
I got a cervical steroid epidural Monday, which I thought would help, and it does help big-time with pain. However, where the steroid injections usually trigger a slight manic reaction with me (I have been diagnosed "hypomanic" and "manic depressives manic type"  and "ADHD, hyperactive, impulsive type" and PTSD) this time the injection seemed to put me in a mixed state.  I was really, really agitated and anxious, to the point I thought I might need to get some anti-anxiety medication.  My cousin brought over a Xanax and a joint, and a bottle of vodka.  For some reason, I just don't feel like adding more chemicals to my poor brain.  And since I haven't wanted a cigarette since I quit insufflating pills, I slapped a nicotine patch on Thursday, and haven't smoked a cigarette either.  I want to remember all of this torture so I am never tempted to insufflate another pill.  All the years my pharmacy gave me the Endo tamper resistant silicone encased Opana pills I was never tempted to try the tedious procedure of preparing them for insufflation which I read about online.  People actually go thru a lot of work to insufflate or even inject the tamper resistant Opanas.  I read about a lung disease from doing so, and a blood disease from injecting them. And what I read horrified me.  Then, within a matter of months of receiving the generic Opanas, oxymorphone pills, I started insufflating them.  I was in a lot of pain, knew insufflation raised the 10% bioavailability significantly, so I did it, telling myself just this one time.  I am no different than the other people trying to relieve their pain.  I have to be honest with myself.  I have displayed addictive behavior, and played fast and loose with my life.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that doing pills intranasally that are made to be swallowed puts one at risk for lung infection or worse.  I need to be honest with myself, address my addictive behavior, and not sweep it under the denial rug (so to speak).  If members of my immediate family knew, I would be in a treatment center so fast my head would spin.  As VICourageous or Vic595 said: "We are only as sick as our darkest secrets" and I remember that term from AA.  Also, I thank Gnarly_1 and Vic595 for pointing out I had crossed the line from dependence onto addiction when I started insufflating my pills.  I am sure I would still be telling myself I am only dependent on my pills and they just crushed themselves and flew up my nose, because they could, and it helped my pain more.  Yeah, love myself to death, literally.
I know I will feel worse before I feel better, but I am doing the right thing.  I can't think straight enough now to quote Gnarly_1, but he said something about getting completely off pain medication to assess my real pain level, etc. and I will be re-reading that too.  I know I have been rambling.  My head is hurting, but this discomfort won't kill me like the path I was on.  Thank all of you.  God sent me to Med-Help.  Maybe some day when I can think clearly I will be able to help someone else too.  I will be back.

[knightriders]

thanks for your post.i have been on opana for 3 years 10 mg x10 times a day.i want to get rid of it.what do you suggest?should i taper down gradually or quit abruptly.in addition how do i control sweating &  abnormal body temperature?kindy help

[VICourageous]

Thanks for the Update.
Just by you finding us a couple weeks ago you have really did some homework. Remember I used to snort my pills too. I read about all the damage it can do besides me being a Addict. It took me over 40yrs to figure that one out..Ha!!!!

Maybe someday you can find a way to ease your pain without these Addicting pills. Tolerance builds up so fast that it is hard not to take more & more to ease the pain. Always keep in mind everything you have learned from ALL of us out here. I do think you will be OK for now!

Bless U Always
Be looking forward to your success story on here.