Im a failure!

[kickinhydro]

Hi everyone, I relapsed on tuesday,
Got my refill 60 7.5/750 hydros
Today I only have 4 left, I 2 searching 4 the high that never came. I feel like a big loser! But feel numb the feeling that makes all of my personal problems disappear. What will my w/d's be like now?
I'm so sorry 2 b asking 4 help again, I don't deserve it! I will stop this time, I'm going 2 cancel all refills today! Should I go 2 my doctor for help? I don't know what 2 do. These pills r ruining my life!

[missy577me]

Hello i'm not sure about suboxone but i know about methadone and it saved my life,it stops all cravings for lorcet,percecet,etc.you are not a failure i use to take 30 lorcet a day to function,it controlled my life,until i tried methadone,and it saved my life and it's not hard to come off methadone i started out on 120 mg. of methadone and now i'm on 40 mg, and still have no cravings.You can read all about these meds and decide which would be best for you,good luck and take care and stop putting your self down,we have all been there.

[worried878]

Agree with educating urself on anything u put in ur body//the health pages have seversal articles on forum memebers exepriences with sub//most who had to wd from sub did not give it a good review..those who sre fairly new to sub and still on it, gave it good reviews cos they felt great..no wds! then peeps who are stuck on sub//the sub users for over a year didnt have much good to say about it other than they want the heck off!  Then there r those who woulda died on the street had sub not saved them//heavy users//heroin etc//sub did keep them out of jail and off the streets//outta the morgue..success stories for sure

Sub was originated in Mexico and is still prescrbed there as Temgesic///a pain med...prescribed at   0.2 mgs//yes 1/5 of a milligram...the US adopted it as an addiction drug and doses are 100 x this dose and more here....the drug is a powerhouse in the narcotic world/a small dose goes a long way...it will take u thru wds painlessly for sure//cos u will not feel wds when u r on a drug that is way stronger than the hydro dose or perc dose a person was taking in the first place...
It is a controversial drug...for some it is the answer to their addiction...for others it becomes a new DOC...a ball and chain that has taken the place of the old ball and chain

read and learn....only u know the answer for u

[shrimpman]

I have to agree with Lee----I tried subs briefly and found coming off of them much worse than going ct  off 120mgs of percocet----the mental turmoil was incredible------ended up back on percs before going ct-----I'm 107 days clean of opiates------Please get as much info on subs as you can to make an informed decision-------Best of luck to you!  Jon

[kickinhydro]

Thank u all so very much for the info!
I guess I have A LOT to think about!
Jessica

[leeisgettingclean]

"Do not be scared of sub" ummmmm i cant even make a comment on this...please be very wery of sub and educate yourself on it ALOT before deciding..and the good thing is you aint gotta go far to get a whole lot of info--we have lots here that have tried it. You have a tab addiction, right? well sub is way stronger than tabs and a hell of alot harder to kick. If you can feel the phsical pain of w/ds for about 5 days and after that through yourself in some hardcore out paitaint rehab...I mean like several meeting a day. if you set your mind to this you can beat it. I am not Knocking sub--but what i am knocking is jumping right to it without trying EVERYTHING first. I do know sub has saved lifes, but on the other hand many many are now caught in that horrible addiction of sub. please get educated about this drug and make YOUR OWN WELL INFORMED desiocion

[jen2331]

Do not be scared of sub - there are many, many success stories.  And it is a perfectly viable option...some people's opinions and/or experiences are way different than others.  It is a safe, medically supervised option for people with the disease of addiction.  I am not saying everyone should take it - research it and speak to a TRAINED PROFESSIONAL DOCTOR and make your decision for yourself.  This drug has saved lives.  That is a FACT.  People typically don't relapse on it - you can't unless you really try.  That is for sure.  I needed help to stop the copius amounts of drugs I was putting in my body every hour of every day.  That was deadly...

[worried878]

Suboxone is another narcotic...so ofcourse it will make u feel better...but u would be on another narcotic..it depends on ur goals....if u stay on sub for more than a couple of weeks u will have to wd from it and it is a harder and longer wd than what u would have now
Subosone is a partial agonist...but it is extremely strong./..it blocks other narcotics cos it sticks to the receptor sites so other narcotics cant get to them....it is a very sticky drug and addicting...it will take away wds...but so will ur doc...i was a 100 mg hydro user and 2 mgs of sub would give me nrg all day..felt great...too great so i didnt use it for wds..but my goal was to be narcotic free//plus i couldnt afford sub//very expensive but if u r buying pills//that is expensive too

Like methadone..sub is a maintenence narcotic...but it blocks narcotics and methadone does not//it also has a ceiling effect that makes it safer than methadone...it has been advertised as a miracle drug///alot of people think they r clean when on it...they do not feel they r still using..even tho they r on a strong narcotic...good thing is it keeps u off the streets cos u get it legally...unless u take it for life...the time will come when u will wd from it as well...most do not like sub wd cos it lasts up to a month

the depression and fatigue were tough//can last up to 90 days//we r all different///I wish there were an easy way out of this but there is not...u gotta make a plan and do the work on urself to keep from relapsing///or u can get on a maintenence narcotic  if u just dont think u can...u didnt state ur regular daily dose?  sounds like it is alot..some people use sub for a few weeks to help physical wd then jump off...and do not get addicted....takes discipline tho cos the mental part will still be there when u jump off sub...others use sub for a year or more and slowly taper off...hoping they have progressed enough through aftercare etc to successfully stay off drugs....some get stuck on sub and years later still have that monkey on their back....and wishing they would have just gotten it over a long time ago and went thru wd from their doc.....we r all different...what have u tried so far in order to keep from relapsing?

[jen2331]

I had a perc/lortab/oxy/norco/whatever I could get my hands on habit.  It's been a miracle for me.  Do some research.  I researched it for a good 40 hours total before I went on it.  The pro's/con's - everything.  All feedback - good and bad.  I had to do something - I couldn't stop using and I was going broke and dying inside and wanted to die too.  It's saved my life, my marriage, my relationships, my job, everything.  It's only part of the answer - I still do therapy (counseling), 12 steps, addiction forums, prayer, whatever it takes.
I still miss getting high, but I don't act on it.  The thoughts of using are getting fewer and fewer and there is NO obsession, drug seeking behavior, cravings, etc. whatsoever.
It's an option that's out there - and it's out there for a reason.  I have a disease that I need help with...
jen

[kickinhydro]

What is this suboxone? Could it help me?
I don't know a lot about it, is it just used for people on stronger opiates?
I'm a very heavy hydro addict. If anyone has any advice on sub good or bad I would b greatful. I found a doctor that does sub
I am on a waiting list might b a couple months, was that a mistake? I'm so confused!

[jen2331]

I would have done exactly what you did - and finished them off just as fast...I feel for you.  You might want to look into suboxone.  It stopped my cravings, drug seeking behavior and completely lifted my depression immediately.  I wanted to die...really, really hopeless.  Now, I'm the me I used to be way back when.  With no guilt!!!
Best of luck!
jen

[Brokenbutglued]

Congratulations for wanting to kick this! :) Is there anyway you can get professional help? There are non addictive things you can take to help with the depression, anything from a script like clonodine (my hubby had some luck with this) and other things from health stores. Take a look at the Thomas Recipie too, there are things that can help without a script. Oh and NO you're NOT a failure!!!!!!  You're saving your life, thats not failing!!!!! :)

[kickinhydro]

Thanks, u guys r right. I was clean 4 only 11 days b4 this relapse the depression kinda put me over the edge how long clean b4 depression starts 2 lift? Its taken years of pill use but now I finally c I've got a problem! I guess it won't go away overnite, its gonna b a long hard road!

[jenny06xx]

i know exactly how u feel!!!
you know everyone can tell u dont get that script/refill ect but you only learn from your own mistakes  
pick yourself up and start again its the only way forward if u want to be clean
keep posting no matter what happens people will always be here for u (i learnt that today) your not alone alot of people relapse its what u do about it that makes the difference.
jen

[worried878]

thats alot of pills in 4 days...how long were u clean before this binge?  if it was a while it may not be too bad...sometimes taking small amounts of tylenol during wd can help ...the recommended dose like 500 mgs a couple times a day///alot of tylenol and the body can also feel the loss of tyklenol abruptly as well as the narcotic wd

how do u feel?  I remeber how u might be feeling//kinda yucky and defeated...u set utrself up by leaving the refill at the pharmace and not telling ur dr u dont want them anymore...cutting off supply and refills is a must for most of us...those pills will sing to u when the refill is waiting on u
we live an we learn...remebering this feeling may help....for me the high was gone and i couldnt recapture it...only a feeling of loss of control and it hurt my self confidence...pills can take us over if we dont fight back...a disease that is no fun to have..they made me not trust my decisions...u will be a better person without them
the thomas recipe will help..an exercise routine, a positive attitude//pick urself up and move forward again...flush those last 4/it can be empowering and they r not gonna do much for u anyway....find some aftercare.....and posting here can help lots!....