I'm alone...anxious...please help.

[Deedee2000]

Hey all, I'm back again. I've jumped and I'm scared. I was on up to 200mg of oxy per day and today is day one. Wait I guess it's not technically day one as I had earlier today so I'm not even in the throws of wds yet. However, the anxiety has set in. I didn't prepare...I just jumped. I'm scared. I read and was told that I can't die from the wds and yet am so scared of when they will kick in. I know they are not even the hard part....after is! still I should have prepared but then I think I wouldn't have done it. I do have my mom coming to help tomorrow. I have a very anxious daughter that I'm terrified of scaring as I get sick. Any of you with chronic pain tell me it you are okay now? I had nurses scaring me saying I should have things in place before I came off because 'what about my underlying conditions' they say....

I CANT taper, I'm not strong enough...I wish oh I wish I was but I can't...

I'm so scared of everything right now and like I said it's not even a day yet....

I should have gotten more of the thomas recipe stuff but again I felt if I waited I wouldn't do it...

I have thought about aftercare and will attend AA meetings but am terrified I will be bed ridden with pain

please any words...

[Pat1956100]

You are not alone.  We have all been through it.  I know it's not going to be easy but just think that every hour that passes you are that much closer to freedom.  Hang in there and keep posting for support.  

[dominosarah]

You do need a doctor that will help and be supportive,  

I was an active addict most of my life.  I quit 5 yrs ago and a whole new world opened up.  It is alot of work but it is so worth it.  I dont miss dancing with the devil anymore.  You will see what i am talking about,

[Deedee2000]

no, no refills. I was to go to the doc on friday but I didn't go. He's not helpful at all. I do need a new doctor. I feel like I would have asked for more

[dominosarah]

You dont have to be a prisoner to these pills anymore.  Toxic relationships arent good either.  You deserve better.  Do you have any refills left?

[Deedee2000]

Thank you for replying. It helps to know someone is out there...

I have argued with myself for years that I needed these pills but they have taken over my life.

I've even ended up in a semi-relationship that is so toxic for me because of a connection to pills. I would never tolerate him treating me the way he does if I wasn't on these pills. There's no physical abuse but he's just not the type of person I need in my life right now. Drama and anxiety are things that I don't need. I already have enough anxiety. He doesn't use pills but has other issues.

I am tired and just want to be clean and there for my daughter. Not obsessing about pills and running out and seeing doctors etc etc.

How did my whole day become about a pill?

I think I've read about other people coming off higher doses and they've gone cold turkey and succeeded. I know some can taper but as I said I tried and it just doesn't work for me.

thank you so much for replying.

[Pat1956100]

Hi sweet Sara!

[dominosarah]

You arent alone here Deedee.  We will help you get thru this.  Hopefully you will find out that your pain does get better.  You have been on meds for a long time and your body will do better without them.

Hi Pat!

[Pat1956100]

I have fibromyalgia and arthritis as well.  I have been trying all sorts of different non narcotic meds.  I haven't found one yet that is suited for me but many people have found that they have helped.
You should talk to your doctor about them.  Oxyneo makes me think you are from Canada as well.  I am sure that your doctor can try different things that may work for you.

[Pat1956100]

Sara is right.  You really need to calm down.  Get your Mom to pick up some imodium, gatorade and some frozen dinners or soups and crackers that you like.  You will be okay.
Just think of it like you are coming down with the flu and you will be sick for a few days.  
You can do this.

[Deedee2000]

thank you for replying...I feel very alone right now..

You are right, I am working myself into a tizzy. I have fibromyalgia as well as arthritis (only recently diagnosed) and undetermined if it's also in my back, legs and feet.

I've been on some type of pain killed for 13 years. Percs, then oxycontin, oxyneo now oxycodone (up to around 200mgs daily if not a bit more)

I know there are people who find they have less pain after coming off ...I hope? or that they are able to deal with it with otc meds?

I really tried to taper but I always took more.

[dominosarah]

Take some deep breaths.  You are working yourself up way to much right now.  This part is no fun but it is necessary to rid our body of all the toxins.  What sort of underlying medical issues do you have?