I'm an enabler!!!

[Kristy_27]

OK. I got on here trying to find some help for my boyfriend but I have left a few things out.  I'm not sure how to even explain all of this but I have been partially to blame for my boyfriends problems.  Ok he became an addict way before I ever realized or at least accepted but now I feel like i'm enabling.  I started having chronic back pain about one year ago.  I have been to doctors, specialists and done physical therapy twice.  My doctors prescribed tramadol and darvocets.  About six months ago my boyfriend started offering me Oxy's I admit I took them for a while and they made me feel great.  Mind you I was only taking about 10 - maybe 40 mg a day at most. not a big deal right but I noticed how I started feeling worse everyday when I woke up and then had to take more and so on.  Now, one month ago I found out my boyfriend was addicted to oxy's.  Real bad.  I immediately stopped taking them.  haven't touched one in a month.  I felt like **** for a while.  Not withdrawal style just my back was hurting real bad again.  Now He's trying to get clean and has had a real tough time.  My current problem.  I still have tramadols, darvocets and flexerils for my back and I try to take them only when I need it for the pain but my boyfriend wants me to give him some to help him feel better and I don't know what to do.  I don't really want to give him anything but it's hard.  his WD are mostly over he's dealing more with body aches and pains, insomnia and depression.  I know my meds could make him feel better in the meantime but is it really detrimental to his getting clean.  In his mind he sees taking one darvocet like it's nothing compared to what he was doing before and it makes sense but I just don't know what to do.  Please any advice anyone????

[votts]

to tell you the truth.. i was taking about 15 norco 10's a day for 3 years and i WD the WORST! if it wasnt for my girlfriend and these people on this site i would have made it! everyone on here is great and u need to listen to them.. i really thought i was gonna either die or go take more pills! but everyone told me to be calm and it will work its way out and it did.. but i did take flexerils to go to bed i can tell you that much cause i guarantee nothing else except xanax will make him sleep. And that is a whole other story if you get addicted to xanax let me tell ya.. the best thing to do is dont give him anything..

[ClaudiaKishi]

I think you should have helped him out..He's really trying and if he gets to the point where the WD is killing him so badly and he starts to panic then he'll go right back to it.

[Kristy_27]

Yes he seems better. smells better too,  Nows the hard part. seeing how he is tomorrow,  I still don't trust that he's being completely open about everything.  He has no money right now but sometimes I wonder if he's hiding stuff somewhere,

[hillary5]

you've got a great attitude, thats good!  at least he found humor in that, thats a start .. everything ok?  i'm sure he'll feel better after gettin cleaned up ... ;-)

[Kristy_27]

Oh dear he just got out of the bath.  I'm going to go check on him and see how he's doing.  I'll check back in a bit.

[Kristy_27]

yeah right try sitting next to him.  no I'm just kidding.  well maybe not.  He did chuckle a little when I told him he stunk which is a good sign.  yes I told him he stunk i'm such a horrible person, anyway he admitted that he smelled bad so i'm looking forward to seeing him freshened up with clean PJ's not looking like a grease monkey.  

[hillary5]

good for you ... that last part - too funny .. lol ..

[Kristy_27]

Now thats an idea unfortunately he's a good liar and I am not.  Plus I think he knows I won't throw them out because I'm actually taking them for pain and he's seen me go through all my PT and xrays and MRI's and he knows how bad my pain gets.

[Kristy_27]

Thank you.  I pretty much was feeling the same thing.  I thought the flexeril wasn't on opiate and would make him feel better.  It just really sucks because I feel like I need to hide my pain meds because if he really wanted one he would just go and get one himself.  Like I said he thinks taking one darvocet is like nothing.  In fact I had to go out today for a bit and took all my stuff with me so I knew he couldn't take any.  He knows I don't want him too.  He asked me for a flexeril tonight and I gave it to him.  I'm not giving him anything else though no matter what.  No matter how much he begs me.  We actually talked about it tonight and he knows how I feel so I guess I'll have to take it from here and see what happens.  I've told him about how I found this site and I really want him to check it out so hopefully I can get him to get on here and talk to you guys.  I think he would really benefit from talking to people who understand what he's going through.  He says constantly that I don't understand and He's right.  I don't but I'm trying.  He's taking a bath right now thank god because he was really starting to stink.  

[SoberGirlsMOM]

Tell him a big fat lie, "There all gone honey, I flushed them down the toilet" and then either really flush them or hide them outside of the house.  

[hillary5]

dont do it .. personally i wouldn't give it to him ... w/ds are almost over with .. who knows one will lead into another one and then right back to square one. now, the flexerils might help w/the legs cramps and tension - since it's a muscle relaxer and i don't believe an opiate ... its damned if you damned if you don't, isn't it?  i used to do the same thing, just one plzzz then  4 hrs later, just one more and i swear i'll stop and then all hell broke loose and started them back up after being off for 7days ... you have to do what you feel is right ... its hard, very hard ... who wants to see someone they love being miserable like that .. but do not enable him .. it'll probably cause more problems .. just my opinion  but ... good luck!