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I'm going to rehab 1st time

Hi everyone. My name is Krystal and I've been here for years so I feel like I know so many people. This is my first time posting. I had another account but I can't get into it so I'm just starting over here. I am 32 years old with 2 amazing boys, 14 and 4 years old.

I had a Percocet addition, which I traded in two years ago for a Suboxone addiction. I was not educated about the Suboxone and went to the doctor who assured no withdrawal, stay on it for life, blah blah blah. I should have asked for her years ago with the Percocet because now I have dug myself a much deeper hole.

A few weeks ago, I told my secret to my amazing parents. My husband was so supportive of me, but that's changed in the last week or so, whole different story. My mom accompanied me to my Suboxone appointment and the doctor said there is no need for rehab, Suboxone has no withdrawal and all the other stuff that he said to support Suboxone.

I have not been living life at all, I simply exist. Not only is Suboxone causing a huge financial hole, its taking its toll all around. I know now I should have never gone to Suboxone, let alone be on 8 mg. Now over 2 years have passed me by while I just exist, anxiety ridden and depressed. I have always had an anxiety problem that borders on the line if agoraphobia. My parents have been so amazing and with my secret out , I feel hope for the first time.

A bed is opening up at a rehab this weekend at a place that I have been offered a grant to go to. I am terrified yet hopeful. When I arrive, my goal is to ask if I can be slowly tapered off of the Suboxone while working the rehab program, to learn how to live a sober life and face my demons through the offered therapy. My parents and I think this is the best decision, to get away ( I will be about 2 hours away) and concentrate on myself and my sickness.

I guess I am looking for some experiences with rehab, I've never been there and I really think it will be a good thing. Also, the doctor has said it's "crazy" to go to rehab when you're "only on Suboxone". Does anyone think that's true? Am I crazy for going to rehab for Suboxone?

I am sorry this is so long and I appreciate the time you've taken to read it. Life just can't continue like this, this can't be all there is for me... It's time for a big change, please help me figure out if this is a good thing like I think it is?

Evolver, Kyle, Sarah, Vicki, nursegirl and the ten other names I always look to for their responses to people's posts, you all are so wonderful with how you help everyone. Thank you!
14 Responses
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Avatar universal
Hi!  I'm happy for you!  You have a great opportunity and you need to grab it! Rehab isn't about the drug you take. It's about learning how to live your life without a drug to cushion you...

I think a 2mg drop is too much. Dropping very small amounts is the best, especially with Sub.  You are absolutely doing the right thing for yourself and your family. You'll see.  

I didn't go to rehab but I worked in a private rehab hospital years ago. People did really well and they were kept BUSY all day long. There is down time,though, so bring some books. Also, the food is generally great in these places so watch out!

What was your other screen name?
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
GOOD!  And now that I know a little more about your situation, I think you are absolutely correct in getting them on board on how to do this.  Good luck to you!  :)
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Avatar universal
That's exactly what i would love to so but the lady at rehab said because I have Pseudo Tumor Cereebri and I get weekly spinal punctures they would like me under medical care when going thu it. But... I don't see why I could just start cutting from 8mg to 6 right at home. I'm gonna call and ask about doing that!
Helpful - 0
1416133 tn?1351123217
Why not start a home detox?  Unless you have other medical conditions to consider, it's totally doable.  And it's obvious how much you want off, so why not?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank u all:) I'm frustrated because I called this morning and there Are still no female Beds available so I am to call back tomorrow am. Just wanna get it all started!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow, proud of you and good luck! Will be all worth it in the end!
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi do not be scared! Heck someone just posted not to long ago about going to a re-hab..there are many who chimed in about it..I guess it is nice out side now and we are busy with life..Heck I just did my Gardens all day today and seen it in a whole other way! It is so Awesome to enjoy things again in a whole other out-look.
Anyway some of us were saying we would not mind going back and doing it all more clear headed and not sick from detoxing. I wish it was free. I would go just for the knowledge again and the vacation. Also to have some time for myself..You know like I said they will tell you to Focus on Yourself..OH yes now I know what they meant by "Trust the Process" This is a on going process for the rest of my life! Ha! Well you keep with us until you go. I am sure there will be others here to tell you how it saved there life too! Or for me I could not taper at all..I was on a 10 year Taper. My friends got tired of hearing me say Oh I am tapering! Ya Right! Well I wish you luck..And when you come back you must let us know how it went..Heck I want to go with You!! Ha!!!
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Avatar universal
Thank you guys so much. I really needed to hear these things. I really struggle with the going away and focusing on just me part but that's right, I can't be the best for my babies if I don't go help myself. I don't know how it'll work with the suboxone, I plan to talk about all of that when I first go to get a gameplan in place. I am really scared but I know it's what has to be done. Again, thanks for your replies!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Vic, you're funny... "Trust the process". Isn't it weird how all those sayings that sounded so lame back then totally make sense now?! Lol
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Avatar universal
Telling your secret is huge. I remember just doing that changed so much. We spend so much time and energy hiding everything, it was such a relief for me to be honest. Good for you. As far as suboxone and rehab go, I am not sure. Make sure whatever one you go to knows that you are on it and need to wean, or they may not take you. They may have you go to detox first, for a few days. If you went from Percs to subs and continued on with life without any kind of aftercare (ie meetings, inpatient, outpatient, etc) then going to rehab may be just the right thing for you. The time I spent in treatment was absolutely essential for my recovery. I learned so much, with groups and education, and meeting so many people who knew EXACTLY what I was going through. Also, going away for that time, coming back fresh to a whole new way of life was invaluable for me. A new start to my life. I felt the same way about leaving my kids (14,5, and 2 at the time) but it is such a small price to pay to have a sober, present mommy for the rest of their lives. It was such a gift for me to be able to actually focus on just me for 28 days, getting better, and not have the responsibilities and worries of everyday life. I laughed more there than I had in years. Sometimes I miss rehab, to be honest!
I hope this helps. You already did the hardest part, telling your secret.
Allison
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
I am very happy for you..Ya that was hard for me to leave my family..It was hard for me to just focus on me..I have always took care of everybody but me..I do like the things I learned because it made me a better person..we do have to take the time and do things for ourselves or what good are we going to be for others.As time went by in there I kind of calm down and tried not to think of my life back home.But it is real and we just face it when we get home..But for now when you are there just try to focus on you! They will tell you this over & over..I even said a few nasty words and flipped out on a few before I calmed down..I was coming off of 3 meds and I was really, really sick! But now I call a few people that I was in there with and they can not even believe it is me over the phone..I almost have 9 months behind me and it does take a while to balance back..So just take it as it comes it is all part of the process. Ha! now I know why they kept saying "Trust the Process" Man now I get it!! I wish you well..Take it like a small vacation!
Bless
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your reply:) I appreciate the encouragement to go. I just know that a big change is needed and I want to learn a lot while there. The thought of leavin my kids for a while is killing me but I know it's to better their lives in the future. Just makes me so sad to think about. I feel so much better with my addiction being out in the open and the support my family has given me. Carrying that secret was a thousand pounds. I just wish I wouldn't have gone to the Suboxone because if I hadn't I could have gone to the detox and dealt with the shorter version. But I can't look back! Thank you again!
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi..We have 2 vickis on here! ha! Very interesting post..It is so amazing what the some Doctors will say..Is it for the money or do they really know what they are talking about..I think they should experience some of this. Then they will get it! Right!
Being that you have a grant to go to the re-hab it would be good to go. When I finally broke down after years of wanting off the Methadone and the other meds I had to go..Tried to taper many, many times..Although now I do think I could of done it if I was on here first and learned all I have learned..BUT The big blessing for me is that I did learn all about the "Disease of Addiction and the Pleasures Pathway" That has been one of my biggest life saviors..Most places also have you go to the Meetings..Not sure what your re-hab will do with the Subs..I am sure they will taper you but for me they took my meds away and tried to give me something non-addictive..They did make me go to a sub dr but I do not think they want you on it for a long time..From what I have read it takes some adjusting between mg drops..But either way you are on a low does and it will not be that bad. I would go because you have to learn to thank about nothing but YOU! You do get a lot of info on how to start dealing with life on lifes terms.There are so many now that I can not say what they will do..Since it is summer make sure you take comfortable clothes..You really do not have to dress up..Just be comfortable..Also you can not take anything that has alcohol in it..They will take things that they think do..Also I got a pre-paid card because they took my ID, money and even my camera & phone..They will give it all back when you are almost getting out..But like I said the one you are going to could be different..I would call and do all my Homework and asked a lot of questions..Maybe ask for the person who runs it not just the secretary who trys to push the place..OK Let us know if you have any more questions..I did the subs for 4 days and then said no..that was not good! made it like 4 meds to w/d from..But like I said it will be the first candle on the cake to your recovery..It has been slow so I am sure others will chime in later..I wish you the best..
vickie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm using my iPhone so excuse the typos. Where its says I should have asked for her I meant I should have asked for help:/
Helpful - 0
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