I'm on Day 2 of Withdrawal.

[WeCanDoIt137]

Is it okay to be afraid, because I feel afraid.

[WeCanDoIt137]

This page is probably my best friend. You all are my best friends. I have tried to talk to people in my life and they either are not taking my problem seriously, or perhaps life in general is just too crazy for most to have the time to understand. I accept that. I accept that and that is what brought me here. Day 3 has come and the next 20 hours I cannot wait to proclaim day 4. I have never been more proud of myself than I have been now. I have stopped before and had a taste of what would be coming, but this last time I did a lot of research and read forums and blogs and doctor websites to gain knowledge on how to quit. I stocked up on some vitamins and green tea and other ingredients I found in the forums. I also learned that trying to quit cold turkey did not work for me - so I gave myself a few weeks of tapering. My withdrawal started immediately 3 weeks ago. I had the chills even with it in my system and nightmares. However, I must say it is paying off and so far my w/d's are not nearly as bad as they would have been had I not tapered. Tapering is not for everyone as we all know. I'm thankful however, that it worked for me. And my initial fear of the unknown is quickly diminishing thanks to you all. The real fear IS life after pills. I am an extremely sentimental person and I admit that I have felt more emotional since stopping my usage. That is the one part in my case that seems to be the worse. I know that depression follows people like us after we stop pills, however, I'm sure that it will blur the lines of my sentimentalism and make me crazy lol. Fun Fact: I've been listening to Christmas Carols all 3 days. I guess it makes me feel safe? So my first tip to anyone out there that is reading or is afraid to stop, is to find something that makes you feel safe, weather it is a photo album of family, a teddy bear, or Christmas Carols. They all work and keep you safe. You are ALL right: I will not die. I will persevere. I will LIVE.

[Overwhelmed10]

Hello and I just wanted to say welcome, and heck ya I was scared too! Of the wd's, of dealing with real life without the pills. And ya know what? The wd's weren't half as bad as I made them it to be in my head....now they were no picnic in the park either, it was like having the flu for about 5 days then it starts easing up.  I'm a little over a month clean, and It was the BEST decision of my life.  I cannot stress that enough....no more worrying about pills, counting pills, having to have your pills, ya know what I mean?  Besides the fact that it's no way to live.  Check out the Thomas Recipe at the end of the page, have plenty of fluids and easy foods that appeal to you.  Be prepared as you wild for a flu.  Oh and Immodium! I highly recommend Immodium!  That's not something you want to have to run out for in the middle of wd's, especially if you are doing this by yourself.  I did it with a 3 year old, a special friend I made on this board, and all the support from the wonderful people here.  It can be done and people DO care.  Let me know how you come along.. :) best of luck.  Julie

[EvolverU]

Good morning to you,

Welcome to day three! How're doing today?

Just wanted to say that I read your second post & I couldn't agree more. The physical withdrawal is the easy part. It's learning to sit in our own skins day by day after they dissipate after that that's the real test (as you know!) We've kept so many 'undigested' emotions/thoughts, etc. at arms throughout our usage & now these feelings all come to the surface and have to be dealt with.

I know, for me, it's been difficult to just sit with these feelings without acting out. It's been a real learning curve! I've come to understand that these powerful uncomfortable feelings/thoughts aren't me -- but are just coming 'through' me and that if I wait long enough and I don't struggle with them that they pass. I try to just stay in the moment and just breathe -- either that or force myself to do something practical or positive for myself. (Very difficult sometimes!)

What I'm saying (and I'm not sure that I'm expressing it very well) is that I agree with you that the worst part of opiate addiction is that we're not really living, coping & 'feeling' life on it's own terms while we're using. I think that knowing this and taking steps to address the problem is half the battle when we're clean and I congratulate you on your insight. Sounds like you're doing pretty well. I'm glad the meetings help! Keep up the great work.

[17mthssober275]

Congratulations on your clean time. Don't think past today. One day at a time. You made it one more day clean. Great job. Proud of you.

[Brightfutureahead]

Hi there...great plan you have to get some aftercare...an open mind will take you far! Are you using ingredients from the Thomas recipe? They really do help. Imodium and hot baths did wonders for me,

[meegWpaw]

hey candoit, I agree with a lot of the posts on here but to tell you the truth I was terrified before I quit. I was so scared, I cannot remember being that scared in my whole life, for the most part.  I was on a lot of opiates for many years, so for me leaving it behind seemed like a catastrophe.  I had no idea how I was going to live without my junk.  I did not think I would survive. with the first day of my taper the fear decreased, came back again on Day Zero, but then got better again.  often I think that thinking about it was scarier than the actual doing it.  I've had a lot of ups and downs but that initial fear has never come back, never as bad.  as you see that the fear loses its power, you spirit will triumph and become more powerful itself.

[limodan73]

What's up Dave, my name's Dan. I have been battling this addiction for the better part of 6 years. Same DOC(drug of choice, in case you're not up on the acronyms).  I wanted to pop in and let you know that yeah, it's normal to be scared bro. When I first decided to get clean.. I honestly thought it would kill me. I seriously called my insurance agent, and upped my coverage. I was terrified. And it sure did FEEL like death warmed over. But it wasn't. You can do this. You're not alone in this. The opiate epidemic crosses every race, creed and colour. Rich or poor. This crap is everywhere.  But you CAN break the chains of addiction. But YOU have to be the one to face it, and walk through the fire.
Feel free to read through my page and journals if you need to see some of my personal struggles. And let me know if there's anything I can do. Strength, Courage and Support my friend.
Dan

[VICourageous]

Hi just want to give you some support. It looks like you have a plan. The positive attitude will get you far. Heck I got my Courageous name from EvolverU on here. I like what Pj said too. How could we know right if there was no wrong. Or good or bad. Positive & negative. You know. Yep after the detox part there could be some mental too. I like it that you called it a"phase" I call it stages. I just put 9 months behind from 3 meds at once..Oh you bet I had them stages. NA will be really good for the aftercare. For me as a long time user I can say that the detox part was bad but easier then fighting the beast of addiction. This is were the hard work came in for me. I must keep up Support from all areas of my life.Had to do a whole new life style change and make a whole new world for myself.  Serious Business at a older age too! So just keep on knocking down them bricks one by one and build a new wall up against the beast of addiction Ha!!!
Bless.

[Pjtwenty]

You have a great attitude and good understanding of the reality of addiction.

Keep going strong!!

[WeCanDoIt137]

Thank you all for supporting me. Other than you all and one friend here, I am doing this alone. I can't come out with it really as it would be harder with some people that I now. I am off for a week this week and decided that after 2 years of eating up to 6 7.5mg/day I wanted to stop. We all remember how it made life euphoric at first and then as time went by it just made you high. That high is what screws with your life. You eat some pills and your problems seem to go away, as if you can solve anything; meanwhile life keeps going on and before you know it, it's passing you by. No more. I need to get through these next few days of hell and then get myself into the next phase: I have a friend that does support groups for former Heroin addicts. I know that for a lot of people that get hooked on opiates sometimes move on to Heroin.. So after the physical part, I am going to go to her AA for the mental part. It's a lot of work as the mental part never goes away. Ever. But thankfully there is this forum and a few good friends. Thank you.

[toothfairie]

you are doing a very courageous thing here.....don't let the fear stand in your way of a new life.....face that fear and push it aside....you are doing great on day 2!!   hang in there... we are here to support you.  

[Pjtwenty]

I'd say this rather than thinking you are afraid.

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do.  There can be no courage unless you're scared.  ~Edward Vernon Rickenbacker

[kyle505]

But there actually is nothing to be afraid of. So you don't like the way you feel? It will pass. You are convinced that there is no life after pills?  Bull.
What you are feeling is normal - the high drama, self pity, anxiety...even the panic. We all went through it, and we all survived. Don't let your head take control. Your addicts brain is fighting you right now. It is presenting fear based in nothing. Time will pass and you will feel better. For now just be proud of yourself for what you're doing.
Yeah - it may be ok to be afraid, but it is a useless waste of time and distracts you from the work that needs to be done.
K

[EvolverU]

Hey there & Welcome!

Congratulations on your BIG 2 days! You're on your way & the answer to your question is: 'YES'.

Certainly no one here will judge you for your fear. Many of us were quite fearful of detoxing, of withdrawals and of trying to live without opiates.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? What you're coming off of and your dose? How long you were on it?

So, my friend... do you think that you might share what is frightening you?

Just want you to know that you've come to the right place and that you're not alone! We're here & we're pulling for you.