Hey June, i was just in Miami this weekend!!!
Honeslty, most of the WDs will last between 3-5 days. Luckily for you, you've realized you have a problem in a few months rather than a few years...
I was on about 6 Vics a day, about 30 mg and i went CT and day 2-4 were tough but got a lot easier...
Heading off to the airport; i'll check back on you in a month...
Good luck and there are so many great people here that will help you....stay strong
like the comment above,it's a good thing that you haven't gone years before realizing the addiction part that we all can't stand.i think it's amazing that in 1 week you've went from 60 to 180 mg's to 30,that can be quite uncomfortable but good for you.as far as how much longer you will have these ill feelings it's hard to say,i think you'll be fine,most people go through this for years,and it's progressive so it only gets worse,seeing that it's only been 6 months for you will make it much easier
Thanks for the support. After posting last night I took a sleeping pill and went to bed instead of taking any more mg. I of course woke up at 6 am very uncomfortable and forced myself back to sleep. Now I'm up and have to go to school and the pain in my legs and feet is weird but not unbearable. I just feel DRAINED. I took 7 mgs to make it out of the house and to the store to get some L-Tyrosine and the rest of the supplements for the Thomas Detox.
I too am glad it hasn't progressed to me doing this for years. I had other friends warn me when they heard I was taking 'roxies' and unfortunantly I am hard headed and learn EVERYTHING the hard way. Luckily though I have a strong will and I WILL NEVER TOUCH THESE AGAIN. It is not worth it. Feeling high for a couple hours is not worth feeling like **** without them. I used to be hyper and upbeat and ready to conqour the world. This morning going downstairs for some orange juice I felt like a 90 year old woman. NOT WORTH IT!
When I am done with this drama in a week I vow to help anybody else who is abusing RX pills and ready for help. I can't believe I'm where I am now.... a junkie.
Thanks for your support guys, please keep it coming. After flopping back in bed and checking my email and seeing there were posts it def helped me and encouraged me in spite of wanting to curl up and die.
Should I tell my boyfriend??? I am going to school today to explain my problem to a directer so that I can be excused from school until next monday. That leaves me with about 5 days to get through this. My boyfriend of 4 months is coming into town this Friday and staying until Sunday evening. We have all sorts of things planned but I know this will be when my WD is the worst. Do I tell him or do I just say I have the flu? I am leaning toward the flu because once this is over I will never use again and it can all just be a bad memory. I don't want to lose him... I don't know if he will understand. If I tell him its the flu he can help take care of me and bring me liquids and run me hot baths just like you would for somebody with the flu... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE HAS COME TO!!! DECIDING ON WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD TELL MY BOYFRIEND HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A FREAKING JUNKIE!!!
Great start! you are a stronger woman than me! I am planning to start my Thomas detox in about 2.5 weeks.. I have to get rid of the drugs I have and have to tie up loose ends so I dont have the option to get meds anymore...I am in school full time and if I miss classes will fail the program as we are in a crucial point right now! ( I am a nurse, wanna talk about feeling like a piece for letting myself get addicted, can you say career over if I am found out) I had the same fear and self loathing about telling my husband as you do the boyfriend but he may be a bigger support than you think...I am sure you can do this as you have already tapered so well! I did not have the will power for that! you can beat this and will be so much stronger and hardheaded because of it lol !! good luck and keep on the board so we can all take care of each other!
Girl, I know the feeling!!! I'm a student studying Radiology... if I get caught all my years of school are down the drain. I also know I need to kick this before graduation in July because any hospital or clinic I want to work at will drug test.
The club I worked at was raided and closed down. What a blessing in disguise. I always told myself when I stopped working in the club I wouldn't need the pills anymore (for the energy and "happy" feeling). When the club closed and I was no longer working for a month but still taking roxies I realized I had a big problem. That's when I started tapering. Ironically the woman who was selling to me in the begining lost her script so I was introduced to another man who was a full time drug dealer. He explained to me how he has seen these pills RUIN people's lives. He told me about a woman who was pregnant taking them and now her baby is on life support in the hospital going through SEVERE withdrawal. He told me about another woman who was a beautiful video vixen, she was in hip hop videos for tons of famous rappers. Now she is addicted to heroine and you wouldn't want to touch her with a ten foot pole. She started with roxies and when they weren't strong enough started taking them IV and now has moved on to heroine as roxies are becoming harder to get. He ended his speech with handing me a pill cutter. It's a little box with a razor blade in it and you put pills in and it cuts them neatly in half.
PEOPLE, IF YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM GET A PILL CUTTER!!! My main surprise was when I cut my first pill took half thinking it wasn't going to do anything and I still felt the effect. Of course it was lighter but it was bearable. Now I cut the little blue pills (30 mg) in 4 pieces and take 3 pieces throughout the day. Yesterday I got down to 2 pieces. Today will be the same and then tomorrow the same and then Thomas Detox.
Look, if you are here you know you have a problem. The sooner you start to taper the better. This feeling is not nice, and imagine, if you can taper now then it will make your WD less severe. DO THIS FOR YOURSELF!
I don't know about you but I miss the old me. I was the life of the party, always forcing my friends to meet up and go out. Now I sit in my bedroom staring at the tv and interacting with my friends on Facebook while I watch the clock waiting until I can take my next dose. I'm 5'2" and used to weigh 119 which was mostly muscle, I worked out every day, ran and had a personal trainer. Now I get winded walking up stairs and I weigh 105 soaking wet. I'm by no means underweight but all the weight I lost was muscle. Losing 14 pounds on a frame as small as mine is a big difference. And I'm not happy about it, it's not healthy looking. I'm skinny-fat... I look ok until you grab me and fell that there is no muscle, I feel squishy like jello. Gross.
I'm going to be posting here every day, all day so that whoever is interested to quit or taper can see it is possible for them to do WHEN THEY WANT TO! If I can survive this so can you. We deserve SO MUCH MORE. I can't wait, in two weeks I plan on exercising, eating right, tanning and spending time with my friends! I will NEVER touch these blue devils again.
Rather than dreading the WD symptoms, look forward to what comes AFTER the WD... you're old you! The REAL you!
"Most of the shadows in life are caused by standing in the way of one's own sunshine".
Screw that, I like sunshine and I'm moving out of the way.
That was huge. i love the way your taking this on. I get my moments.Ive been very successful later in life, in my 50s and before i went thru this **** a few times , and with heroin. I can hardly type right now, im debating on weather to ride out the next few days without Help form SUboxone but ive been really sucking down the oxys for 2 yrs strait , before that over 8 yrs with nothing..I did real well in that time and bought a house boat truck car etc etc etc, and i have everything in the world to lose ,MY JOB which pays unreal money because im finally at the top of my trades of what i do for a living.ANd i payed soem seriuos dues.IMjust so shot out right now i cant keep typing
Look Goldenarm, I don't need to convince you why you need to quit, you already told me why. Your job, everything you own, the success you've had...
Today I got all the things I needed for my Thomas detox including some xanax so I can knock myself out when the WD gets too hard to handle.
I took my last 15 mg of oxycodone. I figured why ration it out and not take it all now so that tomorrow morning will be the first day of being sober. I remember when HALF of 15mg would knock me on my ***, now I hardly feel it.
I decided not to tell my BF although I came close today. I'm going to act like it's the flu. The time I started to WD a month ago it was like a bad case of the flu so it may be a little worse now since it's been a month but I don't expect much worse. I am nervous. I went to school and fed them a line to excuse me from classes so I don't have any responsibilities until Monday. That leaves about 5 days for me to detox. I'm sure I won't be 100% better by then, but hopefully not as sick.
I'm nervous... I wish I never started with this ****...
I'm trying to get things under control before tomorrow... laundry, cleaning everything in order so that the next few days I can just be sick. Thank god my bf is coming into town so I won't be alone. I'm scared of what he will think though. I have to really down play whatever I am feeling. I'm writing here constantly more as of a reasurance. I feel like if I keep talking about it I can't back out. I wanna tell more people but then I stop myself. I don't think any of my friends would be understanding when I admit I'm a junkie. I think calling myself a junkie is very theraputic. I always had excuses for what I did, but now I'm honest and I feel like using ugly words to describe what I'm going through will only encourage me to get clean. I'm a junkie and a fiend.
RX pills are dangerous. I always though because I wasn't snorting lines or getting out of control drunk or popping ecstacy pills that I didn't have a problem. What a misconception. I used to recreationally use coke when I was 19... I went through a phase where I was using several times a week. When I met a boyfriend who refused to let me do it, I thought about sneaking off to do it and I was sad about not doing it anymore but I never did it again. It was easy. That's what I thought addiction was. I thought because it was easy the first time and because I was so stubborn I could control this. I've always been that way with smoking. I can pick it up and put it down without a problem. But boy are these pills a different story.
I'm glad I am stopping now and I'm glad I went through this addiction now as opposed to later in life. The only person it has harmed as been me. I've spent about $600 in the past month on drugs which is by far out of my budget, but it hasn't caused me to lose my home or not be able to pay my bills. I am about as lucky as an addict can get, and I refuse to push my luck. I won't hit rock bottom. I'm not going to lose it.
I think that's how we all need to look at our addictions and the havoc they have wrecked... it's bad, but it get worse. Why not do something now before it gets worse. Before you spend more money, before you push more loved ones away, before you begin to lose everything you've worked for. And from a practical view for all of you who want to kick but keep putting it off... imagine every day you use as making your detox that much more painful and difficult. I would love to run out and buy ten more roxies and quit in a few days, but why? So that when the enevitable comes my WD is that much harder? No way. NOW. NOW NOW. Now is the time.
As much as my stomach is filled with dread I am SO excited to get back to a normal life. Not a life where I'm sneaking into the bathroom to pop pills or sneaking out of the house to spend $400 on pills. I want a life where I decide how to spend my money, not my addiction. I want a life where I don't need a fix to be happy, but I can be happy by spending time with my loved ones. I want to be healthy, I want to have a family and I want to be successful. None of this will happen if I continue down this road.
I encourage anybody to really think about the best thing in their life and imagine losing that. Over a pill. Is it worth it? It better be because it's bound to happen.
Well, that all my rantings for now. Like I said, this is mostly for my benefit. I'm trying to make my addiction and problem a reality so that I can be that much more determined to kick it. This is the only support I have besides one friend who already kicked. I just told her today and she is going to help me get more xanax but other than that she isn't in a position to be much help. So please, write! Tell me WHATEVER! You don't need to encourage me, you can call me an idiot. You can tell me about your problems or you can ask me about mine. Whatever you write will help because the more real I make this, the better chance I have of getting through it. And thank you to the people who have already written. It's sad that this is the first time I feel like I have connected to people since I started living this lie. I vow that when this storm is over I will be on this website offering support and advice to anybody who needs it.
As you have come to realize already I see, this forum is full of people who have been or are going down the same exact road you are. Of course the person who originally sold you the pills never said anything. All pill sellers care about is the money. If they said right away "by the way, if you abuse these for a certain period of time, you will become addicted and go through bad withdrawls when you stop", then they would jeopardize selling anymore to you. I have only met a couple pill dealers...most of what I bought off the street came from a "middle man" who knew a lot of people who sell pills...but the couple I met were the same. Lazy bums who just wanted to make money and would sell them for ridiculous prices...why? Because they knew they could get it out of us. Anyway, enough about the pill dealing losers.
I think it's great you saw the light after only 5 months. I think if you stay strong and stay determined I really believe getting through the withdrawls can be pretty easy for you. I remember when I first started experiencing withdrawls, I remember just toughing it out and making it through no problem. For me, the worst of the withdrawls back then was the first day...around 24-26 hours after my last dose. Then the second day was WAY BETTER. So honestly, since you've only been taking them 5 months, I don't see why it wouldn't be around that same time frame for you. It's also a plus that you tapered a little because that will subside the withdrawls even a little more. After reading your posts back and forth to gold and how positive you seem to be, I have to believe you will do this. It's a nice fresh breath of air to see someone who has only used 5 months come to the realization they had a problem. That's so huge. In fact, you're going to make a lot of us jealous, haha. I wish I realized how bad I was after 5 months.
As far as your boyfriend...I don't know. I think in the long run you'll decide to tell him anyway and I don't know him or yourself well enough to know whether or not telling him about all this is a good idea. But, I am always the first person to say it is always best to tell the people closest to you. Because if they are true friends, they will support you and support is one of the biggest things you could have right now. So it's all up to you if you want to tell him right now. If you are like how I was, I never told ANYBODY how bad my problem was until I cleaned up. In fact I never really planned to tell anyone, but it just happened...once I was clean I wanted to share it with the world.
Good luck. Don't ever forget you have plenty of support right here. We will always be here for you no matter what. If you want more advice and support, feel free to post again. If you have any other questions, feel free to message me. It's great you already plan to help others in your situation, that's such a great and positive attitude. Just another reason I feel confident you will do this. Take care.
Im 27 hrs into my detox and i was really miserable,THe anxiety was overwhelming, Im doing this by myself but my Girlfriend is at work right now and knows that im doing this but doesnt really grasp it as she has never been in this position.This is our house and i feel like im living in a cave as i have everything shut down and did the laundry, got special foods, house is in perfect order to do this for the next 5 days but i dont want to feel it,miss my girlfriend who is working OT for the next few days because of the amount of work the company has to do within a certain time period, The 1st time i did this or tried i didnt tell her the truth and after a few days i came clean and she supports me and just wants to see me get better. I ate a 1/4 of a Suboxone then another 2 hrs later and it took some of the anxiety away but im still really sore and tired. No motivation.Just want to do this during the worst part of withdrawl whcih from previous experince lasts anywhere from 8 to 14 days with days 2, 3, and 4 being brutal and then it starts to decline and comes back for another few days off and on then i start having some ok days but i cant afford to do it CT strait thru because i have to go back to work and will have to have some more misery but hopefully not near as much on a lighter degree when i do this right and i will do the same thing with the valium or Xanax when the time comes after a couple weeks at the most on the subs.. will tiem it for a weekend and can throw a sick day or 2 if i need to or i will jsut walk thru that part of the pain but there is no way i could walk thru this part unless i was physically restrained which would be torture and it has happend in the past going to jail for a drug deal gone bad 15 yrs ago and that was by far the lowest point in my life.I hope you stay positive thru the kick stage and go for it.You have a big advantage over alot of us just by the fact of your dosage and length of useage, youth, but it wil be far from a picnic, You know it as well as anyone because you have allready felt it. Your young ,smart and strong willed and motivated, you will overcome this bout, cant wait to hear how it goes,,Thanks...
Thank you all for your support. It is miserable. There is no denying that. I just feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, when I walk around it feels better but then I get so tired. I just took .5 mg of xanax because I'm getting really restless. I figured it would mellow me out and after I write here I'm taking somebody's advice and going to the store to get some ice cream to pig out and watch a movie.
My main mind frame is this: bunker down and wait it out. Each day will bring me closer to feeling better. It's miserable, but it's necessary. If I don't do it now, it will only get harder. I am lucky that I am at a level I can do this on my own without the help of a costly Dr or other drugs. Of course I'm not please I had to get the xanax illegally but it's the lesser of 2 evils. I hate the way xanax makes me feel so I do not believe I will have a desire to take them after I get clean.
This place is AMAZING. It brings me to tears when I read responses and the hontesty and caring that everybody has. I'm so glad I joined, and I want to help everyone else. Well I'm starting to feel a little better from the .5 mg of xanax, I feel relaxed so I'm going to get my ice cream and chocolate and pig out until it's time for bed.
Everybody keep up the good work. Goldenarm I am proud of you and I know you can do this. Let's help each other. We are so blessed to have the ability to share with one another here. Let's use it to our full advantage.
I love that part about being relaxed after stressing out so hard like you are, Pig out, I love Dryers chocolate and butter pecan. I eat fudgesycles alot too because they are only 40 cals each and along time ago i started watching what i eat, How ironic is that? I watched what i ate for the most part and got addicted to oxys? what an as& i am. Right now eat anything and everything ,The main concern is not eating any more DOC..I should say. Some of my better thinking has got me into alot of sh$%. I hope you can rest and relax and get some well deseverd sleep.And some peace.Im going to lay down and try to watch a movie too.. I have a headache from hell but compared to yesterday not near as bad..Thanks June 66...............GA
Good morning Goldenarm!
It's funny how we get our priorities confused when we are contantly high... I would eat super healty when I was on the roxies too... weird. Like it was helping any while I was filling my body with poison.
I just wrote a journal entry and the power of music and movies. ENGULF yourself. I did yesterday and it passed a lot of time. Time is my enemy. The more that passes the better I will feel and farther I will be from this.
I don't know if you like rock, I prefer hip hop but 'Sober' by Tool is an amazing, empowering song to listen to right now. I put it on my Myspace... nobody knows what I'm going through and having it blatently on my Myspace is kind of empowering.
Also, try some L-Tyrosine if you haven't yet, I feel soooo much better.
Keep up the good job, I am proud of you! :)
Oh by the way... 'Goldenarm' is that name from the old scary campfire story or is it totally different? When I was little there was this story we used to hear at camp about a Golden Arm... its scared the bejesus out of me. Just wondering....
Good Morning 2 u. Goldenarm is a misnomer if u will.When i was younger 15-25 yrs ago i had a love hate affair with Coke and Chiva.I put alot of the money i made working into my veins . Enough so that i could have bought enough gold to form an arm...Not proud of it. Just trying to keep it in perspective so i dont work so hard for so long to waste it on that h$it again ever.I have bought the thomas recipe ,- the Benzos and am trying to put that into action with the Subs. So far so good. My biggest hurdle will be droping the sub within the next 10 days. I know it is helping alot right now.My Dr. told me to take 3 of them a day for 30 days and cme back and see him and he would probly keep me on them for 6 months and then wean me off. I THINK NOT!! Ive done extensive research and have lived this before, Shame on me for doing it again by coming in the back door with back pain using legal prescrition DRUGS,i knew better.I agree ,music is great to use, i bought 2 CDs and one of them is SOBER! But it is by Pink and just realy good, I like a wide variety of music,depends on my mood.I also bought the Allman Bros greatest hit and it has ,ITs not my cross to bare on it and that does it for me.Then i tune in to my movie channels, i have Verizon fiber optic and a bigscreen in my room.Ive worked really hard over the yrs and ive tryed to make our house as comfortable as possible. Im a huge believer in the reward sytem, Why work so hard if u cant enjoy it.You are doing great, I love yor positive attitude, im going to feed off that , Thank you very much, you help me greatly and your appreciated.How are you feeling today? Sore? Thanks June 66 What does June of 66 mean? I would try to guess but im all over the place with that..
I was sore but I took the L-Tyrosine and I feel... NORMAL! I feel like I did before all this ****. The tapering and the fact that I stopped after 6 months has helped a lot. I just feel really hyper and excited, I know it's the L-Tyrosine and B6. Once it wears off I'll be sore and tired again. My worst time is bed time. I hate lying in bed with my muscles feeling so weird. It really is the worst. At least during the day I can walk around and so stuff.
June66 is for my birthday and my favorite number and my shoe size... I was born on 6/06 and my favorite number is 6 and my shoes size is 6 and my birthday was 6/6/06 in 2006. I just like the number six... Rather than put 666 and seem satantic I put June66. I'm not satanic in any way, I was raised Catholic :)
I like your moniker, it's very moving and I'm sure very effective. I'm going to download the Pink song, I keep seeing it when I google the Sober Tool lyrics so I'll check it out.
Keep up the good work! You are very lucky to be working with a Dr. I was going to do an at home detox program with a Dr, but it was waaay to expensive. I don't have health insurance and all I do is go to school so I'm on a strict budget. I'm glad it was too expensive though because I think with the Thomas program I won't be needing any help...
Just wanted to wish you guys the best. You both sound like you are on the good and right track. Keep up the amazing job you are doing. Before you know it life will be great again. Take care!!!
That is a really good report. You are going to make this no problem.To not have any anxiety is huge. It says alot about how you are and what you are made of.The sleep part is big for me too. Not so much that i cant because i watch movies ,but the next day when i have to work, that kills me, i need to have my math skills be sharp as well as talk to clients adn such. Very dificult area, As long as it passes quckly i will be ok.It can wear on you,I wasa guessing it had something to do with a Bday! Just didnt want to say that.The 25 yr old threw me off as i was thinking along actaul yr.I love the way you put your #s together.I have health insuarance so im lucky in that area.Right now money is not a concern for detoxing,time is important and of course comfortability. I could have spent a week in a top of the line faciltiy but i cant stand being in that kind of enviroment, I want to be able to do this on my own terms if that makes sense with outside help .Ive taken 2 of the L tyrosine so far and cant tell if they are working or not, having a rough time not feeling the high from the oxys after 2 yrs,Physically ,,on the other hand.mentally im ok with it, Know i really need to move on and continue my career path.I cant wait for this to be all over and back to going jet sking and offshore fishing working out, everything thatI do to feel good, This stuff really stifled me, i still did but not as much and it didnt feel the same, the excitement was gone alls i cared about was having pills to eat....That will be 25 Hail Marys and 15 Our Fathers,,,,Your great June 66, Thank U for your help....
Thanks for the kind words, they dont go unoticed for sure.How long have you been clean? DOC ?
I think one of the reasons I am kicking so 'early' is beause I knew in the back of my mind that I didn't have the resources you have. If I were working and not a student and didn't have to worry about not having health insurance I would have kept going longer. The fact that I thought I was in an early enough stage to quit on my own without subox. or a facility was the reason I chose now. That and the fact that when I graduate I will be in the health industry and drug tested EVERYWHERE. Also, I didn't even realized I was addicted until about a month ago. You are blessed to have the resources you have, and I am so impressed that at this point you are doing it at home... I think if I had continued down this path another year I would have to be in a facility for sure. Your will power is impressive! Stay strong! Can't wait for us both to be back to enjoying the things we love!
Luppygirl, thanks for your encouragement! I agree, Goldenarm and I are very postive and strong people, I have the utmost faith in both of us!
Hmmm... I am not off of pain medication. I am a person with chronic pain. I like to come to this forum i guess to keep myself on track. I don't want my life to spin out of control. I have enough health issues to deal with. I find that the people here are great and give good advice. I am always looking for other ways possible that i might be able to control my pain besides pain medication. So i just find this place seems to work for me. I also like to try and help people with what i know with my experiences with pain medication. I did run short once on my meds and it wasn't pretty and i never want that to happen again. I hope I don't offend anybody by coming here even though I am still on the pain medication. That isn't my intention. I just want to offer encouragement to anybody trying to get off, I know it must be hard because with just my one experience i don't know if I could do it and that scares me a bit. And if by some miracle they find a cure for lupus and rhuemetiod arthritis and i like knowing that there is a place i can go to help me get off the this stuff.
I so admire your strength! I, too will be where you are at....again! This time off of suboxone. I have been on them for almost 4 yrs. I never took over 8 mg a day, but I am scared ********!! LOL I have 3 kids. They are 4, 2, & 5 mths. I just don't know if I can quit. I want to so bad, but I am so scared of the w/ds. What has helped you the most?
The biggest help was tappering. It really really was not fun, but it made CT that much easier. Have been CT since Wed morning and it's only Friday and I am feeling pretty great all things considered. All because of the taper. It is unpleasant but it makes WD when you CT a LOT better. Try to start as soon as you can, the longer you taper the better the outcome.
Since I went CT hot showers, L-Tyrosine in the morning with B6, Magnesium supplements and eating lots of bannas and Immodium have helped HUGELY. As for the restlessness at night I take ,5 mg of Xanax. Not sure if that's a good idea for everybody, but since xanax is very different from oxycodone (not to mention I hate xanax and the way it makes me feel) I thought it was would be an easy sleep aid for me to use to get through the first few restless nights.
Good luck, and all I can reiterate is TAPER!
THANK U SO MUCH!!! Like I said, I've been down this road before, but its been years and I was coming off of oxys, not subs. I will DEFINITELY try the tips you have given me. Its just so much harder trying to do this w/ kids. Before, I only had my oldest son and although I was miserable, I just can't help but think how much harder it will be having 3 kids depending on me to take care of them while I feel like ****.