In desperate need of help.

[UM4Lyfe]

It's no small fact that South Florida is well known for pill mills. I had 3 surgeries in 2 weeks back in March. Based on where they cut the incisions I was referred the pain management afterwards. I was given percoset 10mg 4 * a day. this has spun dramatically out of control  I get 120 pills and they're gone in 10 days.  and made the conscious decision to stop cold Turkey I tried I tried tampering it did not it did not work I tried methadone sam same thing. I am now on day 2 and I feel like hell. I have a very addictive personality but the pain was so bad I didn't notice what I was getting myself into. Please help I don't want this life for myself but I feel my willpower caving so I reached out online for support.  I've tried cranberry juice hot showers and Advil for the join and Advil for the joint pain my wife is an operating room nurse and I am ashamed to tell her I don't know what to do, I can't relapse no matter what. I know this isn't a large sum of consumption but it was enough to make me stay awake craving the drug. I know its a problem and I have failed to stop once before. Any support or tips would be appreciated.  I WILL NOT GO BACK TO THAT LIFE MY WIFE DESERVES BETTER. PLEASE HELP ME

[UM4Lyfe]

Well said Norman its true self medicating just makes the problem worse once reality smacks you

[storminnrmn]

Seems like you have been in some battles in your life, but you came back!  Really good to hear that you are doing so well. This post really does help pick you up when you are feeling down. We are all fighting this battle together and they aren't all gonna be good days, but whenever I am struggling, I know just reading this site helps me remember what we can easily forget on our own. Using really isn't an option, we will eventually have to face what we are running from.

[toothfairie]

so glad you are feeling a bit better!!  and wanted to say thank you for your service.....so glad you made it home....this is a fight for your life....not gonna say like in Afghan cuz i have no idea what that was like.....but you can do this!!!

please know we are here for you and keep posting and keep up the good fight!!  

[UM4Lyfe]

@stormin. Thanks for your advice and everyone above was get my exercise no matter how much is no matter how much it hurt whenever I craved the drug i remind myself how I felt early. I know I'm starting day five but had a follow up appointment with my surgeon this morning and turned down his death meds. I have another surgery in January but this time I'm not taking the meds. I was shot in Afghanistan and didn't get meds then as I was a scout and once healed back taking down HVT's I'll do the same this time. I feel like I'm getting my life back and I know that although the physical is mostly over (very sensitive stomach always has been) I can undo it all in a hurry. I keep telling myself it takes 30 days. That's the time needed to undo a habit. Keep posting although I don't always answer as I'm developing my Bikes for next season I read all day..you guys have been such a help I can never repay what you gave me

[storminnrmn]

Good to hear! Day 4 is usually the day that the physical is alot better. Like you said, now the mental part. Just keep reading these post and don't forget what you just went through. Who would want to do that again?

[selfinduced]

It's all downhill from here! YOUR Golden now. Keep your exercise up and you'll heal quicker. Jump on the mental in anyway you can. I read many addiction books and stayed close to this forum to remind me where I'd been. Lots of lean protein will help your brain mend. Very proud of you. Enjoy the beautiful weather outside. Everything looks brighter when your clean.....keep it going Lyfe.

[UM4Lyfe]

Well the good news is I'm on day 4 and I actually fell asleep last night. I feel like the worst is behind me hopefully I woke up had some coffee and took a walk. The psychological part is all that's left but I am hanging in there.

[mary577]

I'm late to this thread but I just want to chime in and welcome you and give you my support.   You are doing great....just hang in there and you will start to feel better in a few days.   Don't let yourself get dehydrated.    I had trouble sleeping, but eventually all that evened out.   You can do this!

[storminnrmn]

That will end up being the best decision you ever made! You have come so far, to start over would be rough. I found that the mornings were easier for me during wd. You want to start a new day sober and are positive but as the day went on it got tougher, and you get sick of feeling the way you do. Just remember, pretty soon the physical part will slowly decrease and it will be a fresh start. Hnag in there!

[UM4Lyfe]

So I found a roxi in my dresser drawer I completely forgot I had it. I'm very proud of myself I stomped it into my yard immediately can't swallow dirt. Something I wouldn't have thought I would have done your support has been so helpful I was reading posts when I found it. You guys are the best I have very few friends that's the life of traveling 10months a year. Seeing the pill though gave me major anxiety I have to make sure I don't have any more surprises I threw out all my empty pill bottles it was kind of ceremonial more than anything else. I still feel like hell though its getting worse as the day goes on instead of better

[UM4Lyfe]

So far I'm doing good the weather is perfect here (not being a jerk) so when I get hot I can lay in my yard and that's been very relaxing. The nice thing about today is aside from my incision points throbbing I'm doing okay. Stomach is rocked so I got some pepto and that's helping. I also had my wife get me a banana bag from work its an IV that they give to alcoholics when they come in the ER. I use them allot as I race sportbikes so she is used to giving me them without having to get into major details. As for everything else I just feel like doing nothing at this point so im not. Playing PlayStation was a good tip it takes my mind off of things. Thanks for the support

[storminnrmn]

Glad to hear you got some sleep. Going for a walk, especially on the beach is a good way to start the day. Just focus on getting through today and every day after you will feel a little better. I know when I was in wd, I caught up on some tv shows I had been meaning to watch. I found I could get lost in them and not have to think about how I felt for a while. Mix in some hot showers and before you know it, today will be in your past!

[LeaAnn807]

Yep, progress.....not perfection! That'll do for now!  I'm glad you got some sleep.  I would fall asleep, after being up all night, about the time everyone in my house got up!  It was frustrating for me, but I got through it.  You'll get to where you'll fall asleep a little earlier and a little earlier until one night you'll pass out at like 11 o'clock and wake up and do a happy dance!  It'll be sporadic though, so the best thing to do is just try to be ok with whatever sleep you get and know that you will live through it.  

For the pain can you mix some advil and tylenol?  Take them at the same time if you can.  Not a bunch of both.....but some of each together.  There are otc meds that do have tylenol and anti-inflammatory in them, so I know it's ok to do it.  I used Goody's Powder during WDs.  It tasted like crap, but it worked!  It's got those things in it plus caffeine, which in small doses helped me some too.  Pain, in general, just seems and feels worse when you're in WD.  It's rebound pain, and it goes away.  Just feels horrible while you have it!

[UM4Lyfe]

Ironically I fell asleep at 6am. I feel really sore today but was lucky enough to make it through the night then sleep almost till noon. The pain is bad today and I am very very sore. I took an advil and am going to vitamin shop after some coffee to get the items in the recipe. Its a fight but so far I feel I'm winning. The joint pain is mostly in my neck and elbows and knee's. I, just made a protein shake for the first time in God knows how long. I'm going to take my coffee for a walk now lol that's been very helpful for such a simple thing. I live by the beach so its very soothing walking on it. I do feel like the worst of the stomach pain is gone so progress slowly but surly

[abritt121222]

The pain will also get better. I have also had two major back surgeries and at one point had given up and told myself I would be on pain meds forever. The truth is that the longer you are on pain meds the worse the pain gets and harder to control because our mind will physically make us hurt in order to get the meds it wants. It was no cake walk but after numerous shots and a lot of physical therapy my back feel better than it ever did while on meds. You will have rebound pain to in places u didn't even know would hurt and that's exactly what that is I st your mind making you hurt to try and get the meds but once your body levels out the pain will get better and better and physical therapy and some hard work on the injuries will usually strengthen ya up and you will feel good as ever

[storminnrmn]

How do you feel this morning? You should be in the stretch run of the worst of the physical. Did you take anything to try and sleep? Like LeaAnn said, nyquil really helped to get me like 4 or 5 hours.

[UM4Lyfe]

Yea sleep eluded me I gave up and did the dishes. I went for a walk and took shower number 5 for the day. I never have slept much not since I got out of the military. Day three here we go!

[LeaAnn807]

Hey!  Not just your wife deserves better.  YOU do!  She might be very understanding if you're honest with her.  Honesty is usually a good first step in this rather it's a partner, spouse or doctor.  But, if you're not able and just need to concentrate on getting better, let's do that!

If you're on day 2, then you're halfway to feeling better physically.  Most people turn a corner on day 3 or 4.  So, don't turn back now.  If you're sleeping any at all on day 2, that's better than 95% of people in opiate WD.  So...GREAT!  Any sleep is better than none.  

Have you tried hot baths?  The advil is pretty good for the aches.  Imodium is good for diarrhea and some of the other symptoms.  Google it, and you'll get some helpful info on it.  Cal/Mag/Zinc supplement, four pills morning and night helped me a LOT.  (and I'm not a vitamin girl!)   Then, for SURE, drink Gatorade and/or apple juice.  That calmed down the cramps in my legs and RLS.  Hyland's Leg Cramps help that too.  Mine hurt so bad I thought I would absolutely cut my legs off at the knees!  All of these things are OTC and help immensely.  I wouldn't recommend any kind of Bendadryl or OTC sleep meds for a while.  They can really make you uncomfortable with anxiety and restlessness.  You could try some Melatonin/sleepy time tea/Allteril/Nyquil.  I literally took all of them, and still was awake for days and days and days.  A dose of nyquil worked best for me.  You could give it a try. (By the way, I'm not advocating drinking the whole bottle.  Just a dose or two!) LOL

I hope you're sleeping now!  (as you see, I'm not. I don't require much, thank goodness!)  Remember......by tomorrow, you're over halfway there.  You will very likely feel better by Thursday.  And you're gonna be so glad you took back control of your life!  Promise!  : )

[toothfairie]

yes i'm in FL......i slept for couple hours now i'm awake....will try to sleep again...hope you have drifted off since it was an hour ago that you posted last...

[UM4Lyfe]

I am the sleepless night is kicking my *** tonight but I hold my wife and it gives me a reason to curb my discomfort. Just got out of the hot tub had a glads of wine but that's not a issue I hate alcohol but red wine I read is a good antioxidant. Thank you all and keep posting I check all the time and love the support. Anyone in Florida?

[jenjen1966]

Good news with the chicken! I get what you mean about night's. I just tried telling my self this is normal. It will pass. I didn't even pretend I was going to sleep. Just planned on watching movies all night. That way I didn't stress about not sleeping. I take a couple of Tylenol pm. It seems to help. It would relax me just enough to fall asleep during the movies. Now I'm up to about 6 hours. It's a little better every day!

[toothfairie]

well that's great that you were able to eat something!!  especially protein!....just keep close to this site....we are all here for you and please ask all the questions you need to....that's what this site is for....it helped save me literally....i am alone in this as well and if it wasn't for this site i would have never made 17 almost 18 days clean.....you will get thru this!!  just keep strong and keep reading the posts!!  

[UM4Lyfe]

Thanks for tips on multiple showers the hot baths have helped allot. I have a hot tub in my bathroom so I can soak when needed than jump into the shower and rinse off. This has been very helpful. I am truly humbled that the response was so rapid and so many of you have posted. Your encouragement will be very helpful. For me this is the worst time when I try and sleep. I get hot flashes I can't ever get comfortable and my mattress cost 3k so I know its me. I feel so frustrated I guess is the best way to put it when I lay down. On the plus side I was able to tear up some chicken and it stayed down.

[toothfairie]

thank you for posting!!  this site really is awesome as every one has said.....can't give any other advice than the above....rest when you need it.....move around, get outside....gets the blood flowing....fresh air helps...hot hot baths helped me SO much, my first week i was taking 3-4 a day....with epsom salt....eat when you can.....but most of all hydrate!!  you CAN do this....you are not alone....this site helped me stay clean 17 days now!!  went back to work for the first time today....was rough but i made it and you can too....hopefully you can keep your pain under control....just know we are here for you and will keep watch if you need us!  stay strong and hang in there...it DOES get better!!