Avatar universal

In search or support or hotlines

Day 8, my mind begs to feel normal and keeps nagging wanting something BUT first time in 2 yrs I realize for myself my pain is not unbearable so I don't "need" one I "want" one. That amazes me considering I was on 300 mg Oxy daily just last week.  That's a huge feat for me to realize the difference. I have let go of all the excuses how I got here and knowingly except full responsibility that no one made me but I was  attepmting to escape from issues I should face, come to terms with, and find a way to live realizing there will always be something go wrong.
I don't have a support system only people looking down at me. I feel ashamed enough I don't need help with that!!  My family says "it's not there ptoblem," "husband "well just quit what the hell" and one i person i thought would understand "sorry I don't know I can call to maybe find you some" RELLY??
I've also educated myself to know this part ***** but its really the easy part. I just wish someone would at least pretened to care that i'm accepting and attempting to fix my problem. Are there other support groups besides NA? I would of given anything to talk to someone last night about anything for even a minute. The lonely awake at night is the hardest for me? What about any phone number that I can call in desperate times?
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Can you see a therapist?  

I would try AA...I know N/A can be scary.  Also, I've been to N/A meetings where there are dealers waiting outside to try and sell you drugs.  Nasty.  A/A meetings can be a bit less threatening.

I don't know of any other groups; I'm sorry...but I do know there are tons online.  What you're looking for is human contact, and I understand that.

Can I make a suggestion?  It is one a therapist gave me years ago, and its pretty crazy, but what the heck, right?  Here it is:  Buy a cheap notebook, or open a new Word document and....write your life story.  I'm serious.  Start with your childhood, you can fast forward to when you starting using, and it can be in first person ("I liked the feeling drugs gave me..") or you can write it in 3rd person, which is a strange experience ("in 2003, she was prescribed Vicodin for the first time...")    Just examples.  

i know you're hurting, and it will get better.   Keep coming on here.  Good luck...Hugs, Robin
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271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome,

Congrats on 8 days..that is awesome!!!

Support or aftercare is essential. It's a must do. You can build a support system right here. The members will guide you through whatever it is you are going through and someone is always here to help.

That being said, I suggest that you get an outside support group as well. One on one is important. If NA is not for you do you  have a group at church? What about counseling? It is important that you get to the core of your issues and learn new skills. The members here, although helpful, are not professionals.

While youa re deciding, hang around here and let us get to know to you. Glad you are on board!!
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Avatar universal
Hi there. This is why us addicts NEED aftercare. It's suggested to go to several different meetings. Everyone is uncomfortable when they first go. Our heads are screaming at us that we don't belong here w/ these people. That's your addict brain trying to get you back in it's clutches. You have to have an opened mind. Go to NA or AA. Look for the similarities, not the differences.

There are other programs but I'm not familiar w/ them. You will need to do research.  Yes please come on here but like you figured out you need "real life" help. Mandatory to get to see, talk to, and get to know other addicts.
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Avatar universal
I have thought and started to write my life story a few times, never made it far.I know every person has a sad story, but it's what you make or it,  was how I always looked at it, until now. When I was facing my true addiction and what were the honest reasons I was using so much to escape from, I thought I had delbt with that part of my life, found a way to accept it, and learn it wasn't my fault. I realized my intake increased greatly after a factor from the past came present and remains still like a nagging that haunts me. Since then other factos came and now I'm faced with it very often. Now that I'm sober enough to realize it, I'm holding horrible Scarry hatred. So bad that I reverted back to not caring and inside hoping to overdose.

I've contacted several therapist. The ones who take my insurance must not think they can help and give he referrals to ones that I have to pay to much to see them. Those of us begging for help can't get it and there are so many that can pay because someone hurt their feelings, they don't  bother with people like me anymore.

I have done research all 8 days, I find comfort in it. Reading all the stories and learning info about what I can do to help recover. Called NA today and they understand I'm not ready to face everyone in a meeting but anyone can call 24\7 and talk with a recovering addict. I learned my closest NA meetings have several court order members. Problem is I probably know several of them and that's not good for me either. Don't want to revisit the past. 15 yes of using something.

Perhaps, this is the right time to write my story from the beginning thru how I chased intoxants for escape, to my struggle for freedom from all my demons. It could help me come to terms with reality instead of hiding from it.

Thanks for all the advice and I'm keeping faith I will find the support that will hand me a tissue if I cry and hear "I'm there for you". I'm so ashamed of what I've turned into I can't tell anyone else in my community because of the negative attitudes I received from my loved ones.

Thank you all and I'm more determined than ever to get some form of life back that my daughter won't be ashamed of me.

Bless all who seek freedom. Every step leads us somewhere I'm glad yours led to me.
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