Is my boyfriend lying about his pill abuse?

[tgirl1128]

I am going to try to make this short and sweet. I have a few questions about my boyfriend drug habit. My boyfriend is 24, we met three years ago at work. When I met him I had seen that he was taking vicodin occasionally (getting them from co workers). I think that he initially had a prescription because of a back problem when i met him...but I am not sure how legit that is either. Anyways....fast forward three years and he is still taking vicodin but he is doing it semi secretly from me and I have NO idea what to look for to see if there is a problem since I know nothing about the pill.
I have always seen a small pattern of him taking them for a week straight and then supposedly he stops for a while. I dont know if that is possible.
When i ask him about the pill he claims to only take (ONE) a day, (sometimes two he says)
He has been taking zanax now for about 8 months daily (prescribed) and he mixes it with vicodin, (supposedly one vic a day when i ask him)
He has lost 17 pounds over the last few months and i thought it was from the drug lexipro that he also was suppossed to be taking. I found out he quit taking that so i guess it is from vicodin.
What are the things that I should be looking for as far as his demeanor.
He is behavior is so up and down I am not sure how to tell when he is on it or if he has taking a whole bunch. The only way I have ever known is because sexually things are different. It takes a lot longer for him to ejaculate.
I am not sure if I should just think that one vicodin a day is ok or if I am getting lied to.
What happens to people who dont take it for days adter taking them recreationally. Could it be possible to take one a day and what would be the point of that after a while?

[nette998]

i have been reading  all the comments,,and i can't help but cry,, i to am in the same situation as some of you..i am 25 and my 26 yr old b-f is addicted to pills,,of any kind,he lies about his check,,all his friends are pill heads so i can't talk to them,,he's said he's quit so many times,,and i belived him every time but he just got better at lying and hiding it,,says he's not as bad as i make it out to be,

we have 4 kids under the age of 6 and i am at my witts end,,he works and cashes his check and spends money on pills or weed gives $ to his friends before even buying groceries or paying bills,,we are  behind on everything and never have anything and he makes good money (he a union journeyman welder)..i don't know how much he's taking or how much he spends on it but i know it;s more than we can afford... we have been together over 5 years,,he was an alcholic for the first 4 was has been sober now for almost a year..

i talk to him about the money and he says well at least i'm not spending all my money ,next week i'll spend it all on drugs and show you what an addict does(i'm scarred he really will ),,and i just don't know what to do,,he's deffinatly not thinking of me and our kids,,we don't qualify for food assistance cause he makes so much money but he never gives me enough so that we  do without out at times,,i work 10 hrs a week on a night shift to just get away from it all for a bit , i work night cause we can't afford daycare and i know the kids will be sleeping when i'm gone,,and he won't let me work any more hours cause he says he can't watch our kids any more than he does,,we have a 6 yr old 4 yr old and 15 mth old twins..all my friends and family say leave but i don't know where to go,,i don't know if me leaving will make him worse,,he says he would do so many drugs and die if i wasn't harping on him toquit all the time,,i a just so fed up,,i stress all the time...even reading what i wrote in here i know you all will say time to leave an di have wanted to for so long to better my kids and my self,,get away from all the drugs but then he sas i'll go get on saboxone and i can do it for you and the kids honey,,i'm not taking pills and i just believe him ,,its  never ending...any advice  would be helpful..but i really just needed to vent also

[hydro1205]

One way to find out is to take a trip.  Go somewhere for the weekend where a bag will need to be packed.  When he is not looking, look through his bag to see if there is any pills and look through the vehicle.  Do not confront him immediately if you find any.  Use that knowledge to approach him in an organized manner.  If he is addicted, the idea of a trip will inspire him to use them.  That is the way I feel.  I will withdrawal for a few days to have my supply for a special occassion.  The addictiveness may even cause him to choose the pills over you initially, that is why you must be careful how you present your concern.  Just remember, it is the drugs talking and he can get through it.  People have different reactions, but if someone is addicted and has no reason to believe you know, they will take them on a special occassion and you will be able to tell if you look.

[Laxncheerchic11]

good luck sweetheart........i just foung out mine is addicted to oxys..........i had no idea he was on them.....and he "supposedly " got off them but i just feel like i cant trust him now..........its hard and i know what your going through

[grace10]

Or "i've got to go into this store I better take a couple" or " i've got a customer and i'm tired and need a boost" , " I better take some before he takes them all"...easy to lose count.

[grace10]

That and I didn't even realize how ofter I'd just reach over and take 3-4 without even thinking about it.  

[worried878]

I was a hydro user as well and it is easy to hide...mostly...it is not like i would slur my speech or anything obvious....i am a nurse and when we assess a new patient...i have always been taught to pretty much take for granted that if someone says they drink 3 beers a day...it is probably 5 or 6...1 pack of cigs a day..assume a pack and a half...i myself never really admitted how many i took a day even to my friend who quit with me....it is hard...he is probably not be  honest about his intake

[grace10]

He sounds totally addicted and in fiend mode.  He could be losing weight because of depression, and if he's hiding it and losing so much weight he could be really depressed and suicidal. I lost alot of weight because of constant nausea.  My advice is talk to his family if you can and gang up on him and he sounds like he has insurance, and get him into treatment.  I've been the wife of an addict and and addict.My last run was partly due to me being with him and it being here, partly.  If he won't go and deal with it, then well let me just say, if I knew then what I know now....you need to look at how you want to live your life, cuz it ain't no fun living with a liar or an addict, and it's only going to get worse, especially since he lies so well, and if you stay keep your money seperate and put up. You have to stand up and say this is not ok.  Plus the combination of meds is not good, people die from it. And Doc shopping is illegal. Just my experience,

[GAILLARDIA]

I NOTICE ABOUT A WEEK A GO MY SON CAME HOME NOT HIM SELF I ASK HIM WHAT HE WAS ON OF COURES HE DENIES IT  HIS SYMPTONS ARE SLURRING SPEECH UP AND DOWN  PUPLIS  DO NOT DIALATE  ALSO THERE VERY BLOOD SHOT LAUGHS AT NOTHING  SOMETIMES HE GETS REALLY HUNGRY SOMETIMES HE NOT  I ALSO FOUND A RAZOR BLADE IN HIS ROOM  

[tgirl1128]

Well the only thing that has ever confused me is that he seems ok then not ok...he is happy but he is quick to anger and is short tempered over stupid things.
I asked him at one point why he would mix the two and he said the vicodin makes him have energy and feel "featherlike" and zanax makes him calm.
I know for sure that he takes vicodin for no reason but to feel good...not for pain all the time. And it makes him real happy and full of energy cuz he calls me from work and he is very euphoric sounding.
I am not really sure what to do. I dont want to make him out to be a druggy if he really isnt...I am not sure if these pills can be used for recreational purposes with no bad effects.
I will also note that he smokes a lot of pot. he has to have pot every day and if he runs out he becomes aggitated and spends all his time trying to get more.
he combines all of the three daily. If he is telling the truth he is smoking weed..taking one vicodin and two zanax every day and on the weekends he is sometimes using the three to get really messed up. ( That is when i see the slurred speech)
His doctor is about to take him off zanax within the month..im not sure what he is gonna do.

[serephina]

Hi sweet I am in the same boat as you for over 3 1/2 yrs my man (boyfriend) has been taking anything codeine based - nurofen plus, panfen plus etc. (not sure if US have same names - I'm in Australia) and he got to taking 48 a day(possibly more).  Pinned eyes, foul temper, memory loss, staggering around, abusive (please be careful not to go down that path with him - if you think he's gonna hurt you be careful - I put up with it and have been badly hurt in the past - not done that for a long time got the cops round to remove him to his brother's house on more than one occassion - doesn't live with me anymore cause I don't feel he and I are ready for that)  He has smoked weed for 15 yrs and sometimes like a bucket every hour!  Also got to drinking between 4-6 ltrs of wine a day.  He became violent as you know but also no work and was very hard to deal with.  Went through re-hab with him more than once and now he says he is taking suboxone for alcohol withdrawl - not true it is for opiate withdrawl I guess he just couldn't tell me he got the habit back.  Annoys me cause I hate being lied to.  I know he's taking it again found receipts etc and know what suboxone is for.  Also I know cause he gets slurred and dazed and forgetful (a combination of the drugs) but mostly cause he's defensive about everything - argues with the damn TV, eyes are pinned lips are pale and so is face colour, sweats like a pig, shivers and goes hot and cold, repeats himself.  It's hard but hang in there and do yourself a favour if he is a aggressive don't push the need to know.  Support him if you can and reassure him you are there for him, but don't let your head be bashed around.
Hope he gets help and that you and him can sort things out - it's hard being an addict but I know it's hard loving one too!
Luv and hugs to you xxoo P.S. your man has the same kinda friends that mine has and they just aren't friends - you cannot talk to them cause they don't care about anything other than themselves and where they are getting their next fix from.  Best to confide in the lovely people on this site - rooftrash, fishmeal, grievingwidow, Fladdict, Judgesheart, road2recovery, sundownlady, construction and his wife and so on.  His so called friends will only spew cra* to him about you (if they remember what you asked them!). take care of U also x

[anjel75]

I think it is probably the Xanax that is slurring his speech. Probably not the Vicodin. If he is mixing them though, maybe. Vicodin also makes me very entergetic. If he isn't taking them everyday and a good amount of them, he will probably not withdraw other than maybe mood swings. You siad he was moody anyhow, but have you ever known him without his pills? It maybe that. He may have been a different person altogether before the pills. I think he probably is abusing and what makes me say that is the weight loss. Lexapro wouldn't do it. Antidepressants have weight gain as a side effect. The weight loss is concerning. A few Vicodins here and there will NOT  make you drop weight like that. Xanax wouldn't either. When I take mine, I eat alot. The bad thing is, I can't remember eating. Xanax make my memory really bad. That is another thing if he seems very forgetful all of the sudden, sure sign of Xanax overdose. I am going to come off of mine because of this reason. I can take 2 mgs and not remember a thing. Of course, I take  mine before bed. I can't imagine taking it and going to work! Whew! I have heard that it does pep some people up. I don't understand that!

[anjel75]

I was married to a man just like this except he DIDN'T work. He smoked pot all day long with my worthless neighbors who tried to convince me that smoking pot was OK. Its not OK. I had a daughter from a previous relationship (fortunately too young to know anything, I hope) and if the cops were going to come in and raid the house and it was in there, I was going to go down with him and my daughter was too important to me for me to lose her because of his stupdity! I was on Xanax at that time and Hydrocodone for tension headaches and he would run out of his dope and beg for mine. It didn't matter if I gave it to him or not, he was gonna get it. If I would hide it, he would berade me, verbally abuse me and hit me on a few occasions. I know not alot of people would believe a wife could be raped by her husband, but yeah, that too. It was horrible! I got myself and my daughter into quite a bad situation. He never touched her though, if he had, he would have died. I mean that! For some reason though, I didn't think I was worth as much as she was to get us out of it. I finally did though. But not before he had destroyed so much of me. DON'T let him be abusive in any way! If he is verbally abusive, get out! It will get worse, not better. You are not married or have kids with him? Get out! Don't think for one minute that the abuse is OK because it is the "drugs" talking. Don't think if you get him off of them everything will be fine. IT WON'T!!! I know you love him. LOVE isn't enough! He is a junkie, let him do it by himself. I know this forum (some) think maybe you should stand by him and support him, huh uh! Dump his sorry ass! Take it from someone who has lived your life.

[wheredidmyenergygo?]

I'm deffinately not a dr however, I have been really educating myself lately.  He sure sounds bi-polar who is self medicating.  There are some many different levels of bii-polar his doen't sound bad maybe he can find out about Depakote.  It seems to be the rage with Dr. here in WA

[JACEM5]

I don't want to put her on the spot but,Duchess Golden seems to be very edjucated on these subjects.

[JACEM5]

He won't be able to "just stop" without help.There is a pill to help him called Suboxone,others in this forum could be more helpful.

[tgirl1128]

so i guess i am wondering what to expect....will he be able to just stop if i ask him?  Will it get worse no matter what or can people control this ?   no matter what.....how does the future look for him if he keeps it up,  how about the zanies??  he cant live without those either .


what will the long term health risks be.



yes I will take the email link.....

THANKS!!!!!!!!

[tgirl1128]

i also wanted to state that I found a doctors business card in his coat. I asked him if he was changing doctors and why.   He stumbled to come up with a quick one and told me that his friend at work...(who happens to also be a serious pillhead) gave him the card in case he wanted to see this doctor about coming off of vicodin. My boyfriend told me that he had a pill that helped you come down off it easy. (bull) so i asked him what the pill was and he said..."uhhh alzoprozam" or something.....(cough cough).  It seemed like he whipped that up real quick so i looked up that pill and its just another form of zanie and he knows that.
I think the guy gave it to him so that he could doctor jump for more pills and not let me know.

I guess i am not sure how to approach this. I have gotten into fights and called him a druggie and regretted it.

He always goes to work...He always does his job...its weird cuz its not like a drunk laying on the floor.  I do notice slurring and odd behavior sometimes on the  weekends.

[tgirl1128]

His friends all take pills and I have fished around for info but they never give me anything useful. I have heard his one friend call him a "feind" when my boyfriend asked him if he had any vicodin once.
He is a very moody person to begin with so its very hard for me to tell.
The only thing I am noticing is that when he DOESNT eat he is on it. I have at times also noticed serious bursts of energy and on the weekend when i think he really abuses zanax and vicoden I notice slurring and a totally different demeanor.
I dont think he has taken them in a couple days now that i look at the picture...and yesterday he was VERY quiet and he acted tired. When he isnt on them he also complains about his back hurting really bad.
I try to watch how he takes all this stuff and I notice that when he does have vic during the week he will hold of til right before work 3p.m. and then take a zanie and a vic and he will take another zanie with him to work.
I know his work is like a pharmacy so i dont know what happens after that

[Yoda99]

IMHO, I doubt he's taking just one a day.  Most people build up tolerance and after three years, I doubt he's still just taking one a day.  I started out taking two 20 mg oxy ER daily almost 3 years ago and quickly built up to six 80 mg tabs a day, (that was what I was supposed to do) but I ended up taking them all in two weeks the last time.  Can you ask his family or best friend for advice?
Good luck,
Yoda

[DutchessGolden]

Most people don't understand dependence on a drug, even your oyfriend probably doesnt know the half of what actually happened to him. All he knows is that he can't function unless he has a certain drug in his system. Because of this most people judge, tag them as addicts or junkies (depending on where you live the "lingo" is different) He might not feel that he can tell you because even he feels like a "junkie", like he has done and is doing done something wrong and he will be judged and harped on for it. It is always helpful to know how opiates work on the brain and how dependence occurs. I can post some info that I sent to a couple of people on this forum in an e-mail if you would like.

As far as what to look for, the post above is absolutely correct. If he is going without he will be in withdrawal and will have some pretty noticeable symptoms.

xoxo- D.

[JACEM5]

If he's hooked,when he dosen't take them he will be sick,flu like symtoms,runny nose,diareha.When he's on them look for small pupils,sweating alot,lots of energy.1 a day for 3 yrs I doubt it,but I can't say for sure.If he's buying them off the street they're not cheap so you can look for money problems maybe.If he is hooked know this,It is VERY HARD to give them up.GOOD LUCK!