Yearning

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

Here I sit just reading and reading and reading posts...wishing, wanting, YEARNING (!!!) to be at day 10, 5 , 1..... I am so scared of withdrawal, so afraid of...well...everything. My little babe will be 1 year old in a couple weeks. I would love more than anything to be clean for his 2nd year of life. I am no good with stress. Our lease is up next month...gotta find a place to move. House is not packed, cleaned, anything. Birthday next month..gotta plan a party. Gotta fix my marriage, gotta go to school, gotta work. Gotta this...that... All I do is make excuses. How can I quit when I have all these responsibilities? Oh today I have X Y Z...I'll do it tomorrow....aaaggghhh! I need to jump! How do I just let go and jump?!?!? How can I still function and take care of everything while withdrawaling?

[Bobo0331]

Tell your husband everything. Remove one of the sources of guilt. Work this together.

Looks like you are getting eaten up by trying to figure out a lot of things at once, which is a problem of mine too. It's much easier to eat a meal one bite at a time instead of all at once.

Hang in there, pick your point, dig in and hang on. These forums help tremendously, as shared suffering is more tolerable.

There is a better life awaiting you.

[LisaH_NYC]

I have heard of people who went to their job every day during withdrawals because they had to. that amazes me. The first week will be spent in bed not sleeping, or in the bathroom or the tub. Your baby is young so I agree, now is the time to do it, your child should never have to see Mommy this way. But I think you may need some help managing the baby while you are withdrawing. Can hubby take a few days off in a few weeks while you taper? Do you have a friend or neighbor you could trust to come over here and there during the first week you go thru wds? You can just tell that person tht you have the flu and maybe say the anxiety and the irritability if from the meds the doc gave you for your flu etc.... if honesty is not an option due to fear of losing your child etc.. Whatever you need to do, its only a week or so of the worst of it, then you should be able to manage symptoms while being a mommy. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU.

[VICourageous]

We have to have support it is a must..During and after we need support because this is a disease and it can not be cured but it can be put in remission and we can work on it by Support. You need to be honest with your HUB. He can take the pills and help you do a taper.
Can you talk to a DR so he can put a taper plan together. WE CAN NOT have them in our hands. Also if he hides them, he has to hide them out of the house or somewhere safe because we will sniff them out like a Dog.
Then you have some pills to get the things done that need be..Then when you get down to the last you should find your Hub or someone to stay with the baby & you for a few days or 1 week. It is good to kind of keep busy as much as possible because this can help keep your mind re-directed. You will have some sleep issues and different stages but we can help you when you get down to the nitty gritty. It will not be that intense if you do a taper..Do not have Fear it is not going to kill you. The work really begins after the detox. That take hard ash work to stay clean.
I was on the hydo/oxys and had a w/d from them. But almost a year ago I was snorting Methadone and Addrral and took a Klons at night to come down. I am 57 and this was a whole other ball game..Trust me you will be OK. Alot of people have somewhat the same stages but not the same time limit. It all depends on the drug and how much, for how long, and how old we are.
Just stick to the site and we sure will help you to make things a bit easier on you. We have all kinds of tips on here..OK
Just take it slow and easy. Keep checking your post and I would try to get your Hub involved and the DR..
Bless

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

It's gotten worse. Norco 10's and I'm up to about 80-100mg/day. I've tried tapering but don't have the willpower I guess. Mt husband knows but doesn't know how much. So I want him to help me taper but then I'd have to let him know how much I'm taking. I keep telling myself tomorrow ill take less then less and then he can help me taper. Well I never take less or if I do it always goes back up. Agghhh! I have this certain amount needed to taper then I keep screwing up and then I'm past the point where the taper will work. I know I need to CT but the thought just seems impossible...

[VICourageous]

Now slow down and take a Deep Breath..What are you on and how much mg a day and for how long???

[3Xs_U_R_Out]

I have to do this without everyone knowing what's happening. I have my husband and that's it. He has to work though. We don't have a stable daycare or sitter. I can't focus on my baby like I should while detoxing. It's all just so overwhelming. I don't see how it will work to where all my responsibilities are met. Maybe I can just fake like I'm sick. But I don't even know where or who can watch my kid. I know everyone says its like a super flu....but it's not flu season. Ugh! Why does my brain concern itself with these such little things. Little big things. I just want to be whole again. I want to have normal worries and stresses....not worries about pills. I need to let go...just let go....
Aggghhh!

[MojoAlbum]

Or maybe this is when you have to realize you Can't Do everything. That your health and sanity are worth this. It's ok to think about yourself, and you'll be better for everyone by the end.

[ROSYouralright]

One foot in front of the other...one step at a time. Don't think about 5..10... Or even tomorrow. Focus on today! Wd's don't last forever and the fear is often way worse than the experience! Your baby will definitely keep you active and busy. Sweetie their is never a GOOD time so why not start now? You CAN do it! Baby steps and everything will fall into place.