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Avatar universal

It is strange......

This forum is super slow.  I dont know what all changes they made to this site....but it is lil to no contact.  The entire way this forum is flowing, is very strange.  I have never seen it so slow.  There is barely any response...&  once someone does respond....It is far and in between.   It always takes hrs& hrs for anybody to communicat back to me.  Im watching others post to,  & it takes a very long time to see responses.  Im still grateful for this site.  
well looks like Im on my own again tonite.  Im having a rough one too.  Im getting so discouraged, feels like I will never get myself back ever.  I have kicked this thing more than a few times.......I do not remember me feeling like this.  I truly feel like I seriously broke something in me....idk...its just really strange. Im not feeling like using....Im just losing hope because I cannot get a grip on my mental health,  I dont feel good about the way my head is feeling at 2 weeks.  Is there hope? Will I ever heal my brain...It sure doesnt feel like it.   Guess Im venting again.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Happy Birthday!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Girl.....try not to get discouraged you will get better i promise....I often say this is 1/3 phyical and 2/3 mental....im not trying to down play how c rappy you feel physically but more so to prepare you for what I call the ''mental mindscrew''...just know your emotions will come back and your clear thinking will also  recovery comes in baby steps  I agree with clean  this is all about attitude and a positive attitude goes a long way in recovery but even that.....can be a struggle in itself....there is nothing e/z about doing this but just know it is so so worth it... right now you just got to be ok without being ok a wile this should be your mantra for a wile what your going threw is normal  just ask any addict who has been threw it one thing that helps me is a gratitude list  I write 10 things im geartful for and read it back to myself when im down in the dumps it may sound silly but it helps and when your feeling like you are now any little improvement is priceless.....try to get out side of your head do the things that you use to do before you wound up in active addiction N/A has dances and my wife and I go....where not great dancer's but we have a blast and laff at how silly we probably look....my wife bought us both bikes  every morning at 5 am where out for a bike ride  it is just us togeather and it is amazing how intimate our conversations are  it is just us and although are days are bizzy we take time for each other every morning just a nice gental pace....I love to take my grandkids fishing again it doesent even mater if we ketch fish that day  it is all about sharing my life with a 6 and 7 year old  those are the kinda things that cost nothing but are priceless  take the time to remember things you did b/4 your addiction took over you will be amazed how much better it makes you feel....and just the fact that you can feel becomes its own healing .....pray....and pray some more  cleans your mind with the word of God reading in the bible is very tharapudic....and trust our savior that he can and will deliver you from this nothing is to big for Jesus....there are lots of things that help but it is up to you to work on your recovery nothing changes if nothing changes do something proactive for your recovery...reaching out to others is a great way.....your 2 weeks cleaner then someone on day 1 or 2  some of the best advise I have heard comes from those that just got clean  ....you cant keep it unless you give it away reach out to help others you will be suprized at how well it makes you feel....pick up the phone and call someone....in N/A where all networked there is always another addict to talk to but it is up to you to call someone....the only way to do this wrong is trying to do it alone  recovery is a ''we'' thing not a ''I'' thing....I know you may find this hard to belive now but your recovery is going great....many addicts would have went and used to get over the way they feel your resolve is strong dont under estamate your self  you really do GOT THIs!!!!!! as always keep posting for support.............Gnarly........................
Helpful - 0
3197167 tn?1348968606
3 things girl:

1)  ♫♫HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU CLEAN GIRL!!!

2)  You ARE doing something to "fix you"....you have stopped taking the very pills that rob you of a clean and sane and sober life.

3)  Our brains believe whatever we tell them.  So instead of the mantra, "I HATE this"...try a positive mantra; for instance, "I am doing something GOOD for myself and I am healing every minute I don't put a pill in my mouth".  You REALLY will feel better when you shut off the negative thinking.  I don't know how long you used, but longer than 2 weeks.
  
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Thankyou soooooo much clean.
Avatar universal
Hi there. I am greatful for this forum also, as I am 7 days into my detox, and really the only complaint that I have is my head as well, and the anxiety. I take hydroxyzine and zoloft for a preexisting panic disorder, and it seems to take some of the edge off. But my head, just feels downright weird, almost like I've needed to go to the ER a couple times, just to try to make sure I'm not dying. It helps me when I'm at work, and when I do some housework. That takes my mind off things. I know I'm not very far into this, but I've also done it several times, and I don't ever remember feeling like this either. I mean, my head a little bit, but never this bad. and all WD symptoms were gone within 3 days and I just did this last month as well as this month. I hate that the site is so slow as well.
Helpful - 0
3 Comments
hi sjs49....wow u just let me know that Im not crazy.....I didnt know that anyone else could really & truly know what I am experiencing.  Its the worst.....I swear It makes me question my sanity....I hate it.  Im usually very sharp minded person.  This is like the worst, because if you dont have your mind.....u have nothing.  and as of today im 2 weeks clean.  It sure makes me wonder if I broke something in my head.  Its horrible.   Well I can say....today is my birthday.....& I still have no desire to use.   Just plowing thru these long dreadful days, praying that one of these mornings, I will rise, with a clear & normal head.   I will go outside and yell it to the sky,  I wish there was something I could do to fix me......so I just pray & hold on to the faith & hopes that my head will clear, and be as strong as ever.  It now leaves me like with no emotions...just blank.  Only thing I feel is my mind is not strong.  I do not like this at all.
Oh .& sjs49....u can talk to me anytime.  And please dont let the fact that Im 2 weeks in & my head is still crazy discourage you ok.  because everyone is different.  Maybe its just me that has to experience this this long of a time.  This crazyness in my head has me feeling very off,  it clouds my emotions, I know Im not reaccting to things as I normally would.  It changes my mood, I cant find my joy in anything....so I just go around existing.....I feel like a walking corpse most of the time.  I sure pray I recover my mind, and my feelings & my common senses,  this is just the worst.......If I had a choice.....I would take couple more weeks of the physical pain...log as I could have my brain back.  Your mind is everything...it controls all of our emotions & feelings, and our actions.  So rite now, I feel lost without it.  I hope for you, it gets better faster, I hate to even think anyone else is going thru this.  Its just bad because we already had to fight like **** to make it to this point, all the terrible pain, and sweats, and aches, and no sleep, & no appetite, and the lethargia....all that fighting, & get to this point & cant have my mind back yet.......I hate it, & I pray that things clear for me soon,  this is just too much.  It sure doesnt excite me to jump up outta the bed and start the day.  It makes me just wanna not face the day, in this mental condition...its just awful.  Sorry for complaining so much, but I cant help it.  This ***** sooooo bad.







Happy birthday! I hope you can find somewhere happy for your mind to go today. And I read a little about what the pills to do our brains on a scientific level, and it totally makes sense that our brains feel this way. Its weird, its scary, and it *****, but unfortunately, it's part of the process BUT the good news is, it will not last forever. I also had really bad migraines before i ever started taking pills that would land me in the er like 3 times a week, and my head felt weird then also, but it's just our brains way of trying to get us back to normal. And I also thought it was just me that felt that way, so I'm glad that we can relate.
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
There are 2 words that are the most hated on this forum..Time and patience.  2 weeks is great in clean time but not for our bodies to get back to what it should be.  I have always said i wish we could see inside our body to see all the healing our internal organs and brain have to do.  What you are feeling right now is not permanent but very normal.  I too felt like you do now.  Are you taking any supplements?  There are others who also went to the doctor and got on some AD meds to get them over the hump.  Those meds are non narcotic and can help.(Zoloft, Paxil etc)

As for the forum..MH is going thru a huge change in the format and it isnt complete yet so hopefully once they get it all working things will pick up again.

Keep venting, we completely understand what you are going thru~
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495284 tn?1333894042
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