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This withdrawal from vicodin is killing me
Hey guys,
My name is Emil and I am 26 years old. For the past few years i've been addicted to vicodin. I go with it for months at a time, stop, and then start up again. I recently decided to quit for good cuz I couldn't keep living like that. I would wake up first thing in the morning, make myself a cup of coffee and take 2 bills for breakfast. I would then have 2 more at night before dinner. It was a ritual and the high was incredible and got me through some rough times but I hated how I sometimes felt so drowsy and NOT IN CONTROL of myself.
Anyways, last night was horrible. At work I felt body aches and so much fatigue. Then when I came home and was trying to sleep, I had sweats and restless leg. I kept turning all over in my bed and couldn't sleep. I felt hot one second, cold and shivering the next. It was HELL.
Anyways today seems a little better but I am stil kind of feeling that hot/cold feeling. I just wish someone could hold me right now and comfort me. I need a hug. I kind of feel embarassed talkign about this since im a guy but I have noone else to talk about this with. Thanks for listening.
My name is Emil and I am 26 years old. For the past few years i've been addicted to vicodin. I go with it for months at a time, stop, and then start up again. I recently decided to quit for good cuz I couldn't keep living like that. I would wake up first thing in the morning, make myself a cup of coffee and take 2 bills for breakfast. I would then have 2 more at night before dinner. It was a ritual and the high was incredible and got me through some rough times but I hated how I sometimes felt so drowsy and NOT IN CONTROL of myself.
Anyways, last night was horrible. At work I felt body aches and so much fatigue. Then when I came home and was trying to sleep, I had sweats and restless leg. I kept turning all over in my bed and couldn't sleep. I felt hot one second, cold and shivering the next. It was HELL.
Anyways today seems a little better but I am stil kind of feeling that hot/cold feeling. I just wish someone could hold me right now and comfort me. I need a hug. I kind of feel embarassed talkign about this since im a guy but I have noone else to talk about this with. Thanks for listening.
Hey guys,
First off, I just want to thank all of you for actually taking time out to respond to my post. That alone totally gave me some much needed support. I wasn't expecting it at all, so again, THANK YOU.
I got hooked on Vicodin a couple years ago after having an operation at the Dentist's office. I remember not even really wanting to take it to begin with and then after taking it at work a couple times, I started to notice a change with how I felt. I felt more happy, outgoing, and just calm. Those of who who are addicted to vicodin probably know just what i'm talking about.
A little bit after that, I discovered that my Mom had recurring prescriptions for Vicodin's and Norco's. I love my Mom to death, but there's no denying that she's been my enabler. However, I have no right to point the finger at her. I am responsible for my own actions, noone else is. The past year or so, i've pretty much begged and sugarcoated my Mom with love in order for her to give me pills. She knows how happy I get when I take them and so I think she does it because as a Mom, she wants to see me happy.
To give you a brief background about myself, I basically have endured some pretty painful moments. I came out at the age of 21, I was obese and overweight my whole life and was bullied as a kid for my sexuality and overweight figure. I ended up replacing my addiction of food with alcohol, then starved myself and began doing hard drugs like meth and one thing led to another and here I am on Vicodin.
When I am trying to chase that high, nothing numbs the pain more easily and better than hydrocodone. For those two, three, or four hours, I am relaxed and able to live without fear. Fear of judgement, fear of the direction with which my life is headed. It's basically a way for me to call a "time out" on life and just be chill.
People have hurt me in life. People have given up on me. People have turned their backs on me. The only thing that's always been there for me, is that white pill with the words "M365" on it. Just the thought of it sends a little rush of dopamine to my brain.
As I type this now, I am looking at a single norco pill that I found in the kitchen earlier. I am over the withdrawals and promised myself during the turmoil of withdrawal that I would never take another pill again but here I am, playing russian roulette again.
What kills and scares me the most is that I can never trust myself enough to resist it. What If I was to stay clean for a few years and then happen to find some pills laying around again? Would I be able to abstain? I can truthfully say that I doubt it. That self control is something I have never had in my life. I guess you can say it's partly why I am the mess that I am. I never asked for any of this.
-E
First off, I just want to thank all of you for actually taking time out to respond to my post. That alone totally gave me some much needed support. I wasn't expecting it at all, so again, THANK YOU.
I got hooked on Vicodin a couple years ago after having an operation at the Dentist's office. I remember not even really wanting to take it to begin with and then after taking it at work a couple times, I started to notice a change with how I felt. I felt more happy, outgoing, and just calm. Those of who who are addicted to vicodin probably know just what i'm talking about.
A little bit after that, I discovered that my Mom had recurring prescriptions for Vicodin's and Norco's. I love my Mom to death, but there's no denying that she's been my enabler. However, I have no right to point the finger at her. I am responsible for my own actions, noone else is. The past year or so, i've pretty much begged and sugarcoated my Mom with love in order for her to give me pills. She knows how happy I get when I take them and so I think she does it because as a Mom, she wants to see me happy.
To give you a brief background about myself, I basically have endured some pretty painful moments. I came out at the age of 21, I was obese and overweight my whole life and was bullied as a kid for my sexuality and overweight figure. I ended up replacing my addiction of food with alcohol, then starved myself and began doing hard drugs like meth and one thing led to another and here I am on Vicodin.
When I am trying to chase that high, nothing numbs the pain more easily and better than hydrocodone. For those two, three, or four hours, I am relaxed and able to live without fear. Fear of judgement, fear of the direction with which my life is headed. It's basically a way for me to call a "time out" on life and just be chill.
People have hurt me in life. People have given up on me. People have turned their backs on me. The only thing that's always been there for me, is that white pill with the words "M365" on it. Just the thought of it sends a little rush of dopamine to my brain.
As I type this now, I am looking at a single norco pill that I found in the kitchen earlier. I am over the withdrawals and promised myself during the turmoil of withdrawal that I would never take another pill again but here I am, playing russian roulette again.
What kills and scares me the most is that I can never trust myself enough to resist it. What If I was to stay clean for a few years and then happen to find some pills laying around again? Would I be able to abstain? I can truthfully say that I doubt it. That self control is something I have never had in my life. I guess you can say it's partly why I am the mess that I am. I never asked for any of this.
-E
Hi Emil,
I know what your going through it is a tough journey, you have come to the right place. You can do this sounds like you have done it before you need to figure out a way to stay clean sine that seems to be a problem for you in the past. Be patient you can do this keep posting it will help.
I know what your going through it is a tough journey, you have come to the right place. You can do this sounds like you have done it before you need to figure out a way to stay clean sine that seems to be a problem for you in the past. Be patient you can do this keep posting it will help.
Yes never be embarrassed about this. I myself have been going threw my own little hell as well. But I am pulling threw :). Never look back and the best of luck..
By the way I just read what I wrote you.. and want it to be know that I wasnt coming off in anyway to disrespect you or say that you are different.. I am def here for you if you would like to talk, and help get you through, you have my 100 percent support brother just hang in there.
Hey Emil, you said in your post that you have been addicted for 2 years however you would go months at a time and then stop, and then get back on? So it sounds to me like you are a pro of the withdrawl process since you stop after months. Also I find it fascinating that you have been addicted to vicodin for 2 years yet you only take 2 in the morning and 2 at night a total of four a day? Wow I would do anything to be at 4 a day and not have my tolerance go up. Anyways dont beat yourslelf up to much, people that buy over the counter tylenol are taking more acetimethaphine then you so honestly perhaps its a phsycological matter. Anyways I wish you luck and the best for your 4 pill a day habit. Godbless. P.s
hey dude i am on day 4 of quitting vicodin i a have my whole story out on this forum so i won't bore u with it but it has gotten a lot better what day u on..??? and are u doing any of the Thomas recipe..???
Dont feel embarassed bro, we have all been there and know how you are feeling. Emotions tend to run really high right now, let yourself feel. Dont be afraid to cry, it actually will make you feel much better. Crank up some of your favorite music, read a good book or watch some funny movies, just keep your mind occupied as much as you can right now.
Hot baths at night will definately give you some relief from the body aches and changing body temp. Get the water as hot as you can stand it and take as many baths as you need to to get through the night. Sleep is unfortunately the last thing to return to normal but know that it ill come back.
When you cant sleep or are feeling emotional, just make a point to get on here and post, soemone is always here and will be happy to talk with you.
Good Luck!
Hot baths at night will definately give you some relief from the body aches and changing body temp. Get the water as hot as you can stand it and take as many baths as you need to to get through the night. Sleep is unfortunately the last thing to return to normal but know that it ill come back.
When you cant sleep or are feeling emotional, just make a point to get on here and post, soemone is always here and will be happy to talk with you.
Good Luck!
Hey Emil,
Your 26....I'm 68..Yet we go through the same things. I'll be with you all the way. I'm starting detox again next week. Went through it last week for the first time. Terrible eh.
Listen I'm newly posted just this morning and go a great response from a guy named Brian. Check it out!!! I was on my way to a good hot shower. Try it as much and as often as you want...they really help.
I'm Larry and we will do this together...........Later.
Your 26....I'm 68..Yet we go through the same things. I'll be with you all the way. I'm starting detox again next week. Went through it last week for the first time. Terrible eh.
Listen I'm newly posted just this morning and go a great response from a guy named Brian. Check it out!!! I was on my way to a good hot shower. Try it as much and as often as you want...they really help.
I'm Larry and we will do this together...........Later.
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