I'm feeling really manic today. A couple little things went wrong already, and it looks like I've let them ruin my morning so far. I know I have a choice tho, I know it's up to me whether or not I choose to allow God to work in my life today. I know that only I can change my attitude. It's just that sometimes it's like I'm constantly arguing with myself. Thought race through my head like a fkn train, it's really exhausting and I'm pretty sure it's a big reason I used and kept using. I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to God, and I need to put it in practice. I need to get out of myself, and into my higher power, because I know He will do great things for me. I've heard this so many times before, Believe and ye shall Receive, I guess I never really belived before unless I was in some kind trouble. I never let God into my conscience mind. I've decided to change that, not only to get clean, but because I want to be happy without drugs. I want peace, serenity, I want to actually enjoy being Jennifer. I want to be able to be nice to myself, and to be at peace with my past. I've seen people in this program that have what I want. These people seem ok, and I want to be ok too. Thanks for listening :)