Just saying hello....Im still here...

[wannabefreeagain]

My plate is really full, I am working on my recovery, and splitting my time dealing with personal family issues.  Its alot. But I do not have the desire to use.  With everything happening in my life right now, its just hard pushing myself daily.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 3 weeks clean!!  You are turning the corner already so keep it going!!

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl  a big CUDOS  for the willingness to go to A/A or N/A   it is a big step and one of the best ones you can make.....my wife did not understand what being dope sick was....at the meeting they new and understood  the support from the other people was literately a life saver  methadone is a long long recovery time  at 60 days out I thought I to had screwed up my brain forever but there where people there who had done it and assured me I would recover....they where right..the thing about N/A is they treat the addict ...it is alive and well inside our brains long after the pills stop  it is these behaviors that need to be addressed and overcome to have a chance at a normal life...im a cured....far from it  I will always be a work in progess you dont undo 35yrs of using over night but there is progress those around me see it  even my wife.LOL just know with time and in a 12 step progam you can retrain yourself to live a happy joyful life without the need for a pill or what ever your vise is...going to your first meeting is outside of most peoples comfort zones that is normal  just go and lissen you dont even have to speak  once your comfortable you can share where your at in your recovery and what your struggling with....they will understand and be able to help....and that little bit of clarity is going to come back  it just takes time...a lot has to to with the willingness to seak help  and your willing  if you have any questions about the progam please ask..............Gnarly.................................

[stilltrying1965]

great to here your working your recovery, you are doing an awesome job. Keep working your recovery and I know you will and you will make it out that dark hole we find ourselfs  in. Keep working and keep working your clean time. Knew you could do this .And now its paying off. With much respect ,,,,,James

[wannabefreeagain]

aaawwww, all 3 of your post....gnarly, meeg, stilltrying.....brought tears to my eyes. Thankyou so much, for continuing to encourage me.  I will say this.....Im kinda scared to even type it, let alone speak it,  for fear that it might not be real......the last couple mornings, when I awake...my body is not hurting so bad, and this morning my brain even felt better, I had maybe 45 minutes to 1 hr of clarity, it gave me joy, and hope.  now once the day goes on I start to feel heavy & tired, & achey.  But I did manage to cook a lil, & help bbq.  Im super tired tho.  I didnt finish, I had to take a break and rest a lil.  I will push to finish tho.  I am praying that the little brief clarity I felt this morning is truly th just be patient, Im trying.  One great blessing I have is....I do not have any desire to use.

[wannabefreeagain]

oh & tomorrow will be 3 weeks.....21 days !

[wannabefreeagain]

I will also be stepping into aa/na meeting this week, along with my church groups.  

[meegWpaw]

hey wbf, ive been reading your posts and i think your progress has been tremendous!  it took me a long time to feel energy again the first time i got clean.  for pretty much a month i had to force myself to do even the smallest thing, like put on my shoes.  actually i don't think ive ever mentioned this but i thought about Gnarly saying i could do it when i was sitting on the floor trying to make my fingers work with the shoe laces ... i thought my energy would never come back and i would always feel that lethargic, leaden feeling.  but i didn't ... it went away!!! be patient with yourself.  try to get as much movement into your day as possible, expose yourself to sunlight, treat yourself gently.  keep fighting the good fight

Meegan

[gnarly_1]

hey Girl....just keep putting one foot in front of the other you will get better I promise.....recovery is a Gift from God...for some reason he dident allow us to dye wile using....there is so many things that can go wrong wile abusing pills.....I have O/Ded 3 times  it put me in the hospital twice....the shear amount of tylonal I ingested should have wiped out my liver.... respiratory failure has nothing to do with how high you are...some people go to sleep and never wake up.....you can smash your car wile high  the list goes on and on and it is at epidemic proportions today  right now someone is dyeing from pain pill addiction every 19 min in this country  more the auto accidents or being shot.....this is a serious disease and it has struck home in our family my younger sister in law died from a accidental overdose at 32  left 3 kids behind a scar on our family....so in your prayers  dont forget to thank God your alive many people dont survive to find recovery....it kinda puts things in a better perspective....being alive should be at the top of your gratitude list ....write one every day with at least 10 things on it and as always keep posting for support
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<