Aa
Just to make sure..........
Please tell me if suboxen will come up on a regular urine drug screen for opiates? I understand subs are a synthetic opiate, but will it show up?
I want to be completely educated when I speak of this. I know this forum will help me. I give you anticipated THANK YOU for your assistance in this matter.
I want to be completely educated when I speak of this. I know this forum will help me. I give you anticipated THANK YOU for your assistance in this matter.
Hi MJ !!!
I left a post to you yesterday on your other thread...
Okay...good. Michael submitted to the test,denied it was true and then told the truth.
Baby steps. Keep testing him. He asked you to do that. It sounds like you are the one he's choosing to be accountable to. I won't say this is the best thing but it's something...
I think about you often...are you feeling a bit stronger today? Emotionally?
Love~Vicki
I left a post to you yesterday on your other thread...
Okay...good. Michael submitted to the test,denied it was true and then told the truth.
Baby steps. Keep testing him. He asked you to do that. It sounds like you are the one he's choosing to be accountable to. I won't say this is the best thing but it's something...
I think about you often...are you feeling a bit stronger today? Emotionally?
Love~Vicki
Dear James and Kim,
Thank you so much for your insight.
I take your advice very seriously. Oh Kim, please forgive me for thinking you live in England and not Scotland. I know it is a dig difference, and you must forgive my American ignorance.
Anyways, I really do understand your advice. Yes, I am also realizing that my leaving the home, (either temporary or for good) is probably one way to get him to take his sobriety seriously.
He is quite a trip. He is so loved, not only by me and his daughters, but by God. I pray that he chooses life and sobriety every day.
I understand that all of this will take it's toll on my health. I do agree.
I get so incredibly depressed that (even though I will NOT harm myself) I think that it would be better if I just died. I don't care of I never make it to any of the astral planes of Heaven or if I just wind up in a black void of empty space. I had my life, I picked my husband, and I am ill. My prospects are so poor, I just think it would be better if I were dead.
Do not worry about me taking my life, I will not. I would prefer that the end just please come by God's hands and not mine. I kinda pray for it from God for me as well as health and sobriety for my husband. He trashes his health so much, and yet is so healthy. I on the other hand, have cared for my health all of my adult life, (I became a nurse at 23) and wound up with a nasty case of Cancer.
Kim, you are sounding so great! It seems being in the hospital for the time you were there has helped you to feel better, even be stronger! James, you are so awesome for continuing your sobriety despite the difficulty of knowing your most cherished loved one is ill. I applaud all of your efforts. God bless you both.
I agree that my husband needs to be on this site. I asked him to please sit with me and check it out himself, and he steadfastly denied it.
I agree that him being around his friend and helping hi to "cop" is toxic for my husband's sobriety. He doesn't see it that way.
I agree that I need to leave, but you have no idea how impossible it is for me. I literally have no where to go. Not even for a week.
I love you both so very much.
Thank you for being there. For me and for each other.
Love,
MJ
Thank you so much for your insight.
I take your advice very seriously. Oh Kim, please forgive me for thinking you live in England and not Scotland. I know it is a dig difference, and you must forgive my American ignorance.
Anyways, I really do understand your advice. Yes, I am also realizing that my leaving the home, (either temporary or for good) is probably one way to get him to take his sobriety seriously.
He is quite a trip. He is so loved, not only by me and his daughters, but by God. I pray that he chooses life and sobriety every day.
I understand that all of this will take it's toll on my health. I do agree.
I get so incredibly depressed that (even though I will NOT harm myself) I think that it would be better if I just died. I don't care of I never make it to any of the astral planes of Heaven or if I just wind up in a black void of empty space. I had my life, I picked my husband, and I am ill. My prospects are so poor, I just think it would be better if I were dead.
Do not worry about me taking my life, I will not. I would prefer that the end just please come by God's hands and not mine. I kinda pray for it from God for me as well as health and sobriety for my husband. He trashes his health so much, and yet is so healthy. I on the other hand, have cared for my health all of my adult life, (I became a nurse at 23) and wound up with a nasty case of Cancer.
Kim, you are sounding so great! It seems being in the hospital for the time you were there has helped you to feel better, even be stronger! James, you are so awesome for continuing your sobriety despite the difficulty of knowing your most cherished loved one is ill. I applaud all of your efforts. God bless you both.
I agree that my husband needs to be on this site. I asked him to please sit with me and check it out himself, and he steadfastly denied it.
I agree that him being around his friend and helping hi to "cop" is toxic for my husband's sobriety. He doesn't see it that way.
I agree that I need to leave, but you have no idea how impossible it is for me. I literally have no where to go. Not even for a week.
I love you both so very much.
Thank you for being there. For me and for each other.
Love,
MJ
Thank you for your awesome, educated response to my questions of drug screen testing.
I believe I have purchased the basic at home six panel test, and I did explain to my husband last evening that he showed up positive for heroin, and not subs.
He then admitted to me that yes, within the last three days he had used heroin.
Anyways, I thank you for your kind post, and I am grateful for your knowledge.
Love,
MJ
I believe I have purchased the basic at home six panel test, and I did explain to my husband last evening that he showed up positive for heroin, and not subs.
He then admitted to me that yes, within the last three days he had used heroin.
Anyways, I thank you for your kind post, and I am grateful for your knowledge.
Love,
MJ
Thank you so much for your post to me. It is a blessing that your son is well. It had to have been so difficult to even be a mom to a child who is so incredibly ill to have to endure chemo and or radiation therapy. I know first hand how it will weaken a person, make one so incredibly ill, and hurt so much. Then, the blessing for you was to know your son has RECOVERED! Praise God.
I really am trying to take care of me.
I speak with my older daughters about my feelings now, as I used to keep it from them in order to save them from seeing me grieve so much. But Vicki595 advised me to just try talking with them, try leaning on them a bit. My cancer therapist (who also knows about my home life), said the very same thing.
I walk with my dog. I meditate and read my stress books. I have some anti stress drugs called Buspar, but I don't always take them.
I will lean on you Miss Avis. I am so grateful for your invitation to do so as you all help me so much.
Love you,
MJ
I really am trying to take care of me.
I speak with my older daughters about my feelings now, as I used to keep it from them in order to save them from seeing me grieve so much. But Vicki595 advised me to just try talking with them, try leaning on them a bit. My cancer therapist (who also knows about my home life), said the very same thing.
I walk with my dog. I meditate and read my stress books. I have some anti stress drugs called Buspar, but I don't always take them.
I will lean on you Miss Avis. I am so grateful for your invitation to do so as you all help me so much.
Love you,
MJ
Hi mJ. You have been given great advice here. I would just like to add u mite want to go to al anon. It is an organization that focuses on the addicts family. There u can learb tools to deal with an afict, how to recognize their lies. How not to enable your hubby. You are an awesome wife. It shows. Good luck!
Hey my friend MJ forget about you husband just for now lets concentrate on you. MJ you cant make your husband stay clean only when he want to get and stay clean he will. Like Avis said he has not reached his bottom yet Give yourself some you time. Do what you need for you MJ your husband will only do it when he wants to. When i was using heroin i lied everyday of life to every person i loved and cared about. Thats what heroin does when we actively use the drug. You need to start thinkig about your own health MJ.,,,,,,,James
Hi MJ. its Kim, I think things are getting a bit out of hand now. I said on my other answer that we should take our vows seriously and that i would never leave James just because he relapsed, but James wanted to stop MJ, he wasnt purposely putting himself into situations were he knew he would get drugs. He hit rock bottom bt i dont think your husband has hit his bottom yet. As for the guy he picks up every day, well there is no way he can stop using if he sees this guy every day. It puts it in front of him every day and when it is in front of you believe me MJ you cant refuse it, especially if your just trying to stop. In early recovery there is no way i would have been able to refuse it if it was put right in front of me. Your illness also puts a different perspective on everything. You must look after yourself. Its not an option, its a must now. No one is saying you should leave him for good but maybe it could be the fright he needs. Is there nowhere you could go even just for a week or so, you really cant keep going on like this hun, its just not fair. I also have a very serious illness like you but now my health comes before anything. James knows him relapsing causes me stress which makes my illness worse, but me being ill is james biggest trigger, so it was a vicious circle but he now recognises this so knows that he will have a hard tinme when i am ill and usually when im in hospital he relapses bt he didnt this time as he knows i need him here for when my illness progresses, which it will as there is no way of stopping it so he works harder when i am ill now to do other things when the cravings start. Thats how the gardening thing started. I wish your husband would come on his site. As it was this site that saved us but if it cant save him it can maybe save you MJ. You are a wonderful person and need to keep yourself as healthy as you can, put yourself first for a while please and get some well earned rest. You must tell him that this just isnt going to work if he continues to lie to you and get you into this state. I wish you all the best and hope to speak to you again soon. Much Love....Kim
Hi MJ. its Kim, I think things are getting a bit out of hand now. I said on my other answer that we should take our vows seriously and that i would never leave James just because he relapsed, but James wanted to stop MJ, he wasnt purposely putting himself into situations were he knew he would get drugs. He hit rock bottom bt i dont think your husband has hit his bottom yet. As for the guy he picks up every day, well there is no way he can stop using if he sees this guy every day. It puts it in front of him every day and when it is in front of you believe me MJ you cant refuse it, especially if your just trying to stop. In early recovery there is no way i would have been able to refuse it if it was put right in front of me. Your illness also puts a different perspective on everything. You must look after yourself. Its not an option, its a must now. No one is saying you should leave him for good but maybe it could be the fright he needs. Is there nowhere you could go even just for a week or so, you really cant keep going on like this hun, its just not fair. I also have a very serious illness like you but now my health comes before anything. James knows him relapsing causes me stress which makes my illness worse, but me being ill is james biggest trigger, so it was a vicious circle but he now recognises this so knows that he will have a hard tinme when i am ill and usually when im in hospital he relapses bt he didnt this time as he knows i need him here for when my illness progresses, which it will as there is no way of stopping it so he works harder when i am ill now to do other things when the cravings start. Thats how the gardening thing started. I wish your husband would come on his site. As it was this site that saved us but if it cant save him it can maybe save you MJ. You are a wonderful person and need to keep yourself as healthy as you can, put yourself first for a while please and get some well earned rest. You must tell him that this just isnt going to work if he continues to lie to you and get you into this state. I wish you all the best and hope to speak to you again soon. Much Love....Kim
Sub does not show up on a typical drug screen. Your sub dr will have one it will show up on tho. Drug screens can be very cheap or more expensive including more drugs tested for but no routine drug screen for emplyment tests for sub. Most do not test for methadone either. The one we used at work only tested for codeine and morphine and not hydros or oxy! Super cheap test. That is rare tho.
Any time you need an ear I am here .I have not had cancer but my 8 yearold son did so have some experance in that area .He is doing great now .I know you will get threw this but right now plz remeber you have to take care of you .
Hello Avisg! I am so grateful for your answer. You have given such excellent advice to people, I have sen it in posts I have read.
I do agree with everything you wrote. I apologize for my present mindset right now. I can't stop crying.
I need to try to meditate, bring my mind to something else. I have some stress relief techniques I have done in the past that have worked. I must get to them soon. I do not like myself when I get like this.
I do hope all is well with you and yours. You are a phenomenal help to so many of us. I want to be a positive, helper as well.
Thank you so much.
MJ
I do agree with everything you wrote. I apologize for my present mindset right now. I can't stop crying.
I need to try to meditate, bring my mind to something else. I have some stress relief techniques I have done in the past that have worked. I must get to them soon. I do not like myself when I get like this.
I do hope all is well with you and yours. You are a phenomenal help to so many of us. I want to be a positive, helper as well.
Thank you so much.
MJ
Thank you for your post. It does not go unappreciated. I am ok with the thought of possibly having to separate from him during his drug addiction.
I really am.
I am just broke. I hve no job and no savings. I am awaiting SSDI benefits appeal results.
I am unable to leave this home unless I wish to live on the street. That will not be good for trying to recover from this Cancer.
If I were 20 again, I would take the risk and just cut out. I am older, more ill, defeated, depressed and broke.
I keep looking towards positive things in my life, and keeping my mind from dwelling on negativity. I really do. I guess it is just hitting me hard today.
Your answers to my posts are so important to me. Everything this site does for me is positive and helpful and I appreciate you for that. I am not pleased with my present mindset. I was really getting to a place lately where I could overcome the despair and plug through my days and nights. I suppose my dark day is here again. It will pass. This too shall pass. I know.
I love you girl.
MJ
I really am.
I am just broke. I hve no job and no savings. I am awaiting SSDI benefits appeal results.
I am unable to leave this home unless I wish to live on the street. That will not be good for trying to recover from this Cancer.
If I were 20 again, I would take the risk and just cut out. I am older, more ill, defeated, depressed and broke.
I keep looking towards positive things in my life, and keeping my mind from dwelling on negativity. I really do. I guess it is just hitting me hard today.
Your answers to my posts are so important to me. Everything this site does for me is positive and helpful and I appreciate you for that. I am not pleased with my present mindset. I was really getting to a place lately where I could overcome the despair and plug through my days and nights. I suppose my dark day is here again. It will pass. This too shall pass. I know.
I love you girl.
MJ
no the test was not wrong ..I really do feel for you.you have your own battle right now and its going to take everything you have to pull yourself threw this .It does not sound as if he has hit his bottom .I have never met a non addicted heroin user .I can tell how much you love him but at some point it going to be time to put your life and health first .
Oh Miss Tramahater,
I apolgize for not knowing much about how much he does and how often.
He is still in the phase where he thinks lying to me and trying to make me feel crazy is working for him.
I do know this, he tells me he snorts it. He tells me he only does maybe three bags at a time when he does do it. (When I first discovered his heroin bags, I had found SIX). It is hard to gauge how much he does.
I bought a six panel drug test, and after 16 days of repeated requests for him to pee for me to prove he was clean, he finally did yesterday. He came up positive for only one drug. OPIATES. He then began to tell me the test was wrong, he told me he last used three weeks ago, and the sub is what showed up on the drug test.
I now know that it is all not true. Not only will sub not show up in a drug panel unless the drug test specifically is for sub, but the his heroin in his system is approximately three to 7 days.
Just this morning he confessed to me that yes, he had done heroin within the past three days. I am incredibly baffled as to how he jumps from subs to heroin and back again.
I understand his relapses. I am aware that although it is not good, it is also not uncommon. It is no reason to think he cannot win this battle, but I also know HE has to want to quit. Not me for him. You know?
He tells me he really wants to get clean. I feel like it is impossible because on a daily basis, he picks up a stone cold junkie to "work" with him. I tried to tell him he will not be successful at staying clean as long as he brings such temptations into his life on a daily basis. He claims that it is temporary, and this person really "hustles" for his bags of heroin, which is how my husband "pays" him for working. My husband just old me that this morning. Can you imagine trying to get and stay clean when you are purchasing bags of heroin for someone who has no intention of ever getting clean?!?!?!?
I must answer your question. Sorry to ramble on. He does dissolve it under the tongue. I do not see him taking it every time, but I have seen him take it before.
He does not acquire his subs legally. He buys them on the street. He is a stubborn fellow. Takes risks like you can't imagine. He has so much to lose, and nothing to gain with his drug of choice and "friend" of choice.
I know I need to take it day by day. I have no idea how long this battle will last, as he tells me he has been doing heroin off and on for almost 20 years now. He claims he doesn't do it "a lot". I explained to him, if I am seeing him in his w/d signs and symptoms, he is doing it enough to have it make him physically addicted already.
I just learned of his addiction on 3/4/10. It has not been very long since he claims he is quitting for his marriage and his life, so to speak.
I canot get him to check out this site.
I cannot get him to go to a N/A meeting.
I cannot get him to let go of his toxic friend.
I know it looks incredibly hopeless. I know.
I am constantly fighting my own depression due to recent cancer diagnosis and his drug use. I used to look up to my husband. I used to think he was awesome. I get so incredibly depressed when I think of how he allowed himself to link up with the devil's drug. I come from a famly of drug users. My mom died of cirrhosis of the liver from heroin use in June of 2008. I always stressed how important to me it is to have a family and home life that is not addicted to heroin like my parents are/were. I say are because my dad of course, is addicted to his heroin. He tells me he has been staying heroin free due to subs he takes. I feel so defeated right now.
I am sorry Tram, I am crying. Please forgive me. Thank you for your help and love.
MJ
I apolgize for not knowing much about how much he does and how often.
He is still in the phase where he thinks lying to me and trying to make me feel crazy is working for him.
I do know this, he tells me he snorts it. He tells me he only does maybe three bags at a time when he does do it. (When I first discovered his heroin bags, I had found SIX). It is hard to gauge how much he does.
I bought a six panel drug test, and after 16 days of repeated requests for him to pee for me to prove he was clean, he finally did yesterday. He came up positive for only one drug. OPIATES. He then began to tell me the test was wrong, he told me he last used three weeks ago, and the sub is what showed up on the drug test.
I now know that it is all not true. Not only will sub not show up in a drug panel unless the drug test specifically is for sub, but the his heroin in his system is approximately three to 7 days.
Just this morning he confessed to me that yes, he had done heroin within the past three days. I am incredibly baffled as to how he jumps from subs to heroin and back again.
I understand his relapses. I am aware that although it is not good, it is also not uncommon. It is no reason to think he cannot win this battle, but I also know HE has to want to quit. Not me for him. You know?
He tells me he really wants to get clean. I feel like it is impossible because on a daily basis, he picks up a stone cold junkie to "work" with him. I tried to tell him he will not be successful at staying clean as long as he brings such temptations into his life on a daily basis. He claims that it is temporary, and this person really "hustles" for his bags of heroin, which is how my husband "pays" him for working. My husband just old me that this morning. Can you imagine trying to get and stay clean when you are purchasing bags of heroin for someone who has no intention of ever getting clean?!?!?!?
I must answer your question. Sorry to ramble on. He does dissolve it under the tongue. I do not see him taking it every time, but I have seen him take it before.
He does not acquire his subs legally. He buys them on the street. He is a stubborn fellow. Takes risks like you can't imagine. He has so much to lose, and nothing to gain with his drug of choice and "friend" of choice.
I know I need to take it day by day. I have no idea how long this battle will last, as he tells me he has been doing heroin off and on for almost 20 years now. He claims he doesn't do it "a lot". I explained to him, if I am seeing him in his w/d signs and symptoms, he is doing it enough to have it make him physically addicted already.
I just learned of his addiction on 3/4/10. It has not been very long since he claims he is quitting for his marriage and his life, so to speak.
I canot get him to check out this site.
I cannot get him to go to a N/A meeting.
I cannot get him to let go of his toxic friend.
I know it looks incredibly hopeless. I know.
I am constantly fighting my own depression due to recent cancer diagnosis and his drug use. I used to look up to my husband. I used to think he was awesome. I get so incredibly depressed when I think of how he allowed himself to link up with the devil's drug. I come from a famly of drug users. My mom died of cirrhosis of the liver from heroin use in June of 2008. I always stressed how important to me it is to have a family and home life that is not addicted to heroin like my parents are/were. I say are because my dad of course, is addicted to his heroin. He tells me he has been staying heroin free due to subs he takes. I feel so defeated right now.
I am sorry Tram, I am crying. Please forgive me. Thank you for your help and love.
MJ
I am no expert on Subutex. I have been given it in rehab before, but I didn't take it home. It is my understanding that you cannot get high from an opiate if you are taking the sub correctly. And it also should throw him into withdrawal if he uses while actively taking the sub. There are people on here who know way more about it though.
Is he dissolving it under his tongue? Are you actually observing him taking it?
Is he dissolving it under his tongue? Are you actually observing him taking it?
God Bless you doll! Thank you for your prompt answer to me. I am completely baffled as to how he manages to switch from subs to heroin without getting really messed up?!
From what I understand, if you are on subs, and take an opiate, you can't get high, or am I confused?
Is it more like is you are subs and take heroin, you can go into withdrawals?
Boy am I ignorant. I do appreciate all of your knowledge.
MJ
From what I understand, if you are on subs, and take an opiate, you can't get high, or am I confused?
Is it more like is you are subs and take heroin, you can go into withdrawals?
Boy am I ignorant. I do appreciate all of your knowledge.
MJ
Hey Mary Jane! Heroin should be out of the urine in about 3 days. If you did a hair follicle test that would be different, but after 3 weeks, it won't show in his urine!
Thank you for your educational response. I thank Gettingcleanagain1221 as well.
My next question is then, (and I know it is silly because it doesn't really matter right? He is using and that is that), but, how long will heroin stay in one's system in order to come up positive?
He tells me he last did heroin 3 weeks ago, and has only been doing subs since. I know, this is all lies from him. I am grateful that he finally tested for me, and I want to know as much as I can before I approach him with the truth. He is such a crafty liar for me, I need to have the armor of knowledge before I speak with him.
Thanks, and God Bless.
MJ
My next question is then, (and I know it is silly because it doesn't really matter right? He is using and that is that), but, how long will heroin stay in one's system in order to come up positive?
He tells me he last did heroin 3 weeks ago, and has only been doing subs since. I know, this is all lies from him. I am grateful that he finally tested for me, and I want to know as much as I can before I approach him with the truth. He is such a crafty liar for me, I need to have the armor of knowledge before I speak with him.
Thanks, and God Bless.
MJ
If you drug tested your husband and the panel tested positive for opiates, then he's taking something other than buprenorphine. A specific test for buprenorphine can be done, but it's not standard.
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I am sooooo sorry for what you are going through. I know that what addicts put loved ones through is misery, and there is no excuse for the lying, but it's a defense mechanism that we use when our addiction is active. We figure that people will continue to believe our crap, and for a long time my family DID! They do NOT now though. That makes a huge difference for me. I no longer have a family enabling me to progress in my addiction.....ONLY my recovery! They will do anything in the world for me as long as I continue to help myself, but the day I stop.....so do they. That might be a stance worth taking with your husband????
You need to take care of yourself right now. Do what YOU need to do. He may or may not stop using, but you need to be ok either way!
There is a lot of support here and in NA. I credit BOTH with helping me to get over a MONTH clean now! He needs that kind of help, but YOU need to take care of yourself!!! Come here and post a lot if it helps you! I will help anyway I can. I have not done heroin, but I have been on nearly every opiate painkiller known to man!!!
You're going to be ok! Just be sure and put yourself first now!
Love,
TH