Hey world, this is my first time posting so bear with me. First a brief history about my situation, I started using Kratom about two and a half years ago. The reasons for starting are not important because I realize that those reasons are mostly attempts at justification. At first it was 15X and 20X extracts I have been dosing once a day for well over a year. I detoxed about 6 months ago and while not pleasant (restless legs, no sleeping and feeling like a bad case of the flu) I was able to get through it. Two weeks later I started up again, about 3 months ago I switched vendors and the type of Kratom I was using, specifically I switched to Ultra Enhanced Indonesian. It was much stronger, I decided to try and Detox about a month ago and failed.
I don't know how to explain it but the withdrawal symptoms were easily 3 or 4 times worse than last time (I only made it to hour 24). One of the reasons I failed was because I was trying to work and be a good daddy and husband at the same time and I damn we'll knew I wasn't going to be able to be in the house with my kids seeing me in that state. I have come to realize I have made a huge mistake and I am scarred to death that what I have been taking has been adulterated with something and that my health is in serious risk.
So for the past two weeks I have been terrified on a lot of different levels however I have a plan and I don't know it's going to work or what the consequences could be. On Thursday morning this week I am going to flush all of the crap down the toilet. I am then going to go see my Dr. and let him know the mistake I have made and see what he can help give me to keep my blood pressure under control. I am then going to check myself into a hotel with a jetted tub and see if I can't get functional enough to come home by Sunday or Monday.
What advice do any of you have that might help me through this? I love my kids more than life itself and I reeling from the realization that I have gotten myself into a situation that could negatively effect them if I don't get through this immediately.