LARCETS AND WEED?

[GLOCK]

Hi all i was wondering if you can help me .
I'm a 37 year old male i do realy well in life i have a good family and love life but i've been doing drugs for 24 years and like weed i realy don't like any other drugs any more .
I started doing larcets aroung a year ago on and off and i find lately if i don't have thim i feel like i'm turning inside out!
I use to smoke weed 5 to 10 time aday but if i smoke now i feel like i do when i'm not doing larcets.
I know i need help but i can't go to rehab i have a family that loves me and i love them i just want to feel better can any one tell me how long i have to not sleep,eat or feel good before it go's away?
Any info would be cool.
Any sites on LARCET addiction would be a great help.

[motherof2221]

In 2002 i ended up with a condition called ptc which is fluid that builds up on my brain.. The doctors would always try giving me narcotics  and i would always say no to them but about 5 years ago i gave in Them people were driving me crazy. They told me to lose weight (20) pounds and i would not need the shunts anymore well when i started i weighed 280lb and now i weigh 160 and my problems are just getting worse.I just had my 32 surgery to fix the shunt in my brain and it never seem to be going anywhere. The only thing i have done is got myself where i feel as if i have to have pain meds,,,but i really do still have pain from the ptc everyday so what do i do?

[Milo]

I'm the same way! I don't have a problem with hydro, but benzos -- well, that's another matter. You may want to ask your doctor to switch you from Xanax to Valium, as I understand Xaxax is the most difficult benzo to discontinue.
All best -- Milo

[Angelica]

.....Thanks for adding some color to our world.  Pretty creative , hummmm???

[whitedove]

Good idea!!  Sometimes, in our fogs, we don't think of these simple things.  THANKS!!

I saw that xanax was listed at the top of the forum page, but I'm getting ready for work (trying) so, I don't have time to read it now.

It is an interesting thought that I'm having more trouble now from the xanax than the Lortab. Don't you think?

whitedove
Pam
***@**** - feel free to write here

[Milo]

There's one thing I'd like to suggest. Since Klonopin & Xanax are in the same class of drugs & do pretty much the same thing (though I understand Xanax works faster), you might consider taking one or the other, not both. Adding one benzo to another doesn't increase effectiveness (at least it didn't for me). If your supply is limited, this would also be a good way to save some meds in case of need later. Just a thought -- with all best wishes -- Milo

[whitedove]

Cindi:

You are always there and so helpful everytime I pull up this forum.  THANK YOU!!

I have to work today for the first time in 2 weeks and I feel like, you know what!!!  I pray to make it through the day.

A lot more has happened, but I don't have time to fill you in right now since I must shower and attempt to work.

Bottom line - I'm at 5 pills today along with 4 xanax and 4 klonopin but, I'm still having an extremely difficult time.  I talked with a lady on a help line that said, she thought I was having more trouble with the xanax, given that my husband has control of it too and I had "upped" it when I started tapering on the Lortab.  What do you think about that?  Does it stand further research, in your opinion?  I know you have nursing background and I'd like to draw on it.  I liked your previous analogy about equating this to "having a baby" and the changes at various times.

Can't wait to hear back from you.

Fondly,

whitedove
Pam
***@**** (I misplaced your new email)

[cindi]

Wow, you are still feeling that bad?  from what I understand of that post re: the magnesium and zinc...I understood that ionly works if you start taking them a week before you start detox...build yourself up and then start the detox....at least that's what I got out of reading it....I know that tapering is hard but I also know that we can't get off this stuff with no discomfort...there will always be some degree of the pain in the ass withdrawals....now that you are down to 6 a day,,you have to allow your body to adjust to that doseage...that may take a few days...then it will adjust and you'll feel better...then when you are down to 3, probably the same thing.  what we have done to ourselves as far as all the opiates..is unreal...now we have to adjust to not taking the usual dose...does this make sense? like having a baby,,,we carry it around for 9 months..in the beginning our bodies have to adjust to the little thing that it is not used to having,,then we deliver and we have to adjust again..so our hormones go whacky again.. what we have done in the process of using we can't undo overnight..it taks time, patience and discomfort   good luck and if you need me  you know how to get me?    love to all       cin

[whitedove]

Wow, I really can't believe how many of you are tapering like me.  It's not easy, is it?   It also sounds like we're trying it about the same way.  I heard one of you say 10% and mine is .5 every 3 days.  I get very discouraged, but I have gone from 14 tablets to 6 now.  However, as I mentioned in a previous message, it feels like cold turkey now.  I wonder why.  I've tapered, have the klonipin, xanax, etc.  AND, I've added all the vitamin supplements possible, along with water and trying to eat right.

Working is hard and practically impossible.  Going in for medical detox was not an option for those of you who read my previous post.  I have been accepted for outpt. therapy, but I had it 3 years ago, still go to AA and NA meetings now, etc. so I don't know ........

Mood swings suck!!  I have my husband that has been giving me my meds.  It didn't work with just HIM giving them to me, so my psychiatrist keeps the bottle, puts 2 days worth in an envelope and my husband picks them up every other day.  This way, the pressure is less on my husband and if he gives in to my "begging" for more, I run out and have to wait until the Dr. gives us more.  Tapering is just plain hard, no matter how you go about it.

AND, yes go to meetings, don't stop!!  It is "the desire to stop using, drinking, etc."  That's absolutely all it is.  AND, everyone here certainly has that desire.  A sponsor is helpful too because your family can't be objective.  I've learned that through many trials, errors and arguments.

I'm at the Lake of the Ozarks, trying to relax, but it hasn't made a difference really.  The symptoms still exist.  I just wish I could regulate the sleeping.  Sleep is so important and I just can't get it right, especially now that I'm down this low in the quantity I'm taking.

Anyone have anymore suggestions or thoughts?  AND, why is it so hard now when I've been tapering?  That's my biggest question.

whitedove
Pam
***@****

[jennyfla]

Hey Cindi girl!
Well i screwed up a bit, i ended taking a little something.  I was trying to pack and get my stuff done, but my legs felt like that weighed 100 lbs a piece.  It was unbearable and i didn't have the creepy-crawlies, as i call them, but i broke down anyway.  I think i can do this while i gone, in fact, i know i can.  I'll let you know how i did once i return.  I may get on while at my parents', but i don't want anyone to see what i'm up too, so it depends on the privacy-level.
I hope you are doing well.  Free free to email me, i'll check that during the week.
Thanks hon!
Stay strong and healthy girl!
Lv Jenny

[cindi]

we have go to talk asap        have a good trip and as angelica says  chin up   Love you  cin   ps  travel safely hon....

[jennyfla]

Thanks Hon!
I'm sitting here trying to figure myself out (not an easy chore).  I'm trying to find out when it was that i 'crossed-over' to the other side.  I use to be able to just play around with these suckers, but they took hold of me while my back was turned.  My husband kept warning me to watch out!
The weird thing about it is the more i think about it and the more i stress and have anxiety about it, the worse it is.
I've kind of got my mind all twisted up and i no longer have a grip on this thing anymore, and that scares the living **** out of me!!!!  I've always prided myself on thinking that, yeah, i have a grip on this thing, and now it's got a grip on me!  I hope this all makes sense.  I used to always keep my quantities way down so i could be in control.  I never ever used while at work 9-5, and never ever while up north visiting family.  All of the sudden, it became necessary to take a little something around 3ish or else i didn't think i could make it.  This happened after i dislocated my finger back in dec.  Then it moved up to 1, now it can hit as easy as 8 - 11 am.  So far, this morning, i've taken 2000 mg of l-tyrosine, and i don't have any w/d yet.  Don't know if my body is running alittle late today, or if it is the amino acid, but i do have to say that they make me feel weird.  I don't like it at all, but if they are the reason that the w/d are staying away, then ok, i'm game for a short while.  i wish i had thought about doing this earlier in the week (i could kick myself), that way i wouldn't be so stressed out going up north tomorrow morning in this condition.  I still have so much to do today, and i hate to have to do everything in this spacey, out of this world kind of head trip.
Thanks for listening sweetie.  Talk to you soon.
Lv Jenny

[cindi]

DUUHHHHHHHHH  God, I hat it when i sound so dumb..LOL  I meant to ask you if you had a computer in Jersey..i think you may have known what i meant..  LOL..love ya   cin

[jennyfla]

Thank you Cindi.
Yup, i live in florida, but will be going to New Jersey for the week.  My parents have a computer, and i'm sure i will make my way into checking up on all of you!  lol!
I'm gonna give it a try this coming week, wish me luck!
Lv Jenny

[cindi]

Hey guys.... I had too much to do to really get on a read all the posts but hubby is snoring and so are the kids....Now  Listen to old wordly cindi    (see post from angelica below  LOL) NOBODY HERE IS A FAILURE>>>My God...being clean is sucha struggle...getting clean is just as hard but the real work begins after detox..I see nothing but determination in the both of you...and that is where it starts..the willingness...to get clean...so you have some failed attempts....big flippin deal..I read in my NA book that there are some people that truly are not able to stay clean....Jesus, there are people that have been trying to stay clean for 30 years...and maybe one day they will,  or maybe they won't but they try...their intentions are good...just because a diabetic takes his insulin and watches everything they eat,,,does not mean their blood sugar won't go up or down,..but they try to maintain it...nothing is in stone..they refer to the word practice in my books and in life in general....someday,, it will happen...we, you all of us will be ok,,just for today.....hang in there....Jenny do you have acces to a computer in florida..I know wiz went fishing  took his laptop and was going to try and look for a phone hookup   LOL   now,, that's an addict   LOL   Hi Wiz.....love ya..  Lov to all      cin

[Milo]

I have to admit I love these rainy days too, Anjelica. There's nothing so soothing as lying in bed, listening to the rain on the roof. Even storms are OK -- I'm not afraid of bad weather like I once was.
jennyfla, I can't pretend to analyze dreams, but to me your dream strongly shows your strength, determination, and willingness to commit to recovery.It's like the detox/rehab is a safe haven for you. I think that's a great sign. And by all means, keep that Bible handy!
J.B. -- yeah, I can't even "let myself go," even in my dreams. But as for weather, I'm happy any day there's no snow...:)
Reading posts by all of you on various threads has been tremendously helpful to me.
Milo

[jennyfla]

I put the bible under my pillow the other night, and kissed it and prayed to god for help.
That night, i had a weird dream.  I dreamed i was driving hit a car on my way back to my best friend's house.  Someone i grew up with, but we live 250 miles from eachother now, but talk a lot.
Anyway, i went to my friend's house, and the cops were chasing me.  My friend ended up talking me to a  rehab, and i was concerned about my husband because i had 'everything' with me.  I also didn't want my parents to find out (geez i'm 38-years old, listen to me!)  But anyway, it was a good rehab program, and i woke up before i started, but felt a sense of peace while there.  I'm wondering if god was trying to tell me to go to detox?
BTW, my friend has a husband who is an addict and alcoholic, so she is all too familiar with addictions.  And, her first husband was an alcoholic, and ended up killing himself a long time ago.  She doesn't know i'm using again, and i don't want to tell her.
Just thought i'd share my dream.
Lv Jenny

[Angelica]

....after a 2 month dry spell, we've been getting rain for 3 days now.  I will need a boat just to leave my driveway.  I guess we asked for it, and we got it.  LOL  I have to admit, I like these rainy days.  It seems to be very calming, and peaceful. LOL  Hope your well, these days.
LOVE,
Angelica

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I've had those dreams, too about my drug of choice. They are getting less and less frequent though. What is the subliminal mind trying to tell us?....Maybe we still have to be on guard?
The funny thing is that I've never had a dream about alcohol, yet have had many dreams about car accidents. Go figure! J.B.

P.S. Is it ever going to stop raining here in the midwest and get warm and sunny again?

[Milo]

I wish you good luck with your tapering. And please don't ever think of yourself as a "failure" -- I've spent too much time doing that myself (and still do). Anyway, I wanted to say I can relate to those dreams you're having. With me it's Valium. I'm always scared I'm going to run short before my next Rx (panic attacks)...and I'll dream I find pills in drawers, bags, cabinets, wherever...but in these dreams I just take one or two, just enough to get by, not to go overboard (I guess even in my dreams I'm nervous!) Well, hang in there, and keep posting. I have never withdrawn from opiates, but as you've read, lots of folks here have, and so you know it can be done.

[jennyfla]

Keep up the wonderful work, and thank you for those encourging words in your post (june 4)!
You're are right, it sucks here, and you DON'T want to come back to this side!
I thought I could just about see the light last week, and i was reaching for it, but slipped, i don't see it anymore.  I'm going to try this taper off method, but it's so so very hard, especially while living with a very unhappy addict!  I'm anxious to see what the strength of my family will do for me next week.  I'm gonna try!!!  Then i can come back and try to help my husband help himself before he dies from this thing!!!!
Prayers for you, i know you can stay strong!
Lv Jenny

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Yep, I'm still alive and some days even kicking! I've been feeling pretty good lately except for a little depression. I'm working on it anyway. Marty is fine and pretty intense these days...we are having a major family reunion here at the farm during July 4th. Lots of work to do to get ready! Give Bobbie my love!  J.B.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

I won't make a blanket statement about AA or NA as a whole but around here at least, the only requirement to belong is the "desire to quit using". I've seen folks show up for meetings higher than a kite(myself included)and not be run off unless they were doing something threatening to the others. As we say, "but for the grace of God, there go I". I'd say that the worst thing that you could do at this point is not at least try a few meetings and meet some of these recovering addicts.

I remember my first meeting while I was still in the rehab center! I was so scared,nervous,sweaty and nauseated that I wanted to crawl under the table. It was devastating to introduce myself and admit that I was an alcohlic and drug addict. I burst into some God awful sobs and just collapsed. That's when my group put their arms around me and welcomed me home. The sheer power of that group's love changed my life forever!  J.B.

[Jamze]

Hello again Everyone.
Been doing ALOT of thinking lately and talking with a few friends, and Ive come to realize that just because I didnt quit the hydrocodone cold turkey,all on my own,in full blown W/D doesnt mean Im a failure.I think that for me anyway I just cant do it like that.I honestlt think that the tapering idea that the Doc has me doing may be the beginning of a good stratagy to win this war.The first time I quit yes I did do it cold turkey in bed full blown W/D and I figured well Ill do the exact same thing this time and I wont be addicted anymore.Certain things that have been said on these post have made me realize that even though I wasent takeing the pills for those 6 months I was still addicted or I wouldent be back in this mess all over again.Last week when I tryed the cold turkey thing again it was like I panicked and said O.K ENOUGH!!!! Im stopping NOW!!!! and I guess I was blinded by the sheer pain and destruction that the pills are haveing on my life and figured that as soon as I got detoxed and wasent currently takeing pills anymore that everything would be perfect.Seeing the struggles that you guys are haveing just staying clean even after detox has made me realize that I cant just end it that fast..some people may be able to just detox and BAM never think about them again,not me, I get sick to my stomach saying this but I really do love the way those pills make me feel(I am actually haveing dreams about finding full bottles of hydrocodone,and about owning my own vault full of so many pills I could swim in them) and I think that even after Im detoxed Im still gonna love it, miss it, want it,and crave it. I dont have a problem so far with the tapering thing (but then again its only the 2nd day) but Ive never been one to eat my supply up real fast if I had 20 pills sure Id get alot higher eating 10 at once but I am always too scared to not have any for the next morning,so Id take 3 then get to the first stage of WD and take 3 more etc etc.And it seems as long as I have SOME pills I can make myself WD a little but soon as I run out I panick and freak out scared I wont be able to find more before i get sick. Since I did that cold turkey thing and went thru those 3 days of hell I lowered my tolerance some in the process and dont need 20 pills a day now to keep from getting sick I can get by on around 9 and my wife can get by on 3 or 4 so mabye the 100 a week supply that the Doc has got me starting out with can help wean both me and my wife.I got a question for you guys ?Can I in my position join AA meeting even though Im still using the pills?or do I gotta wait till Im clean?I dont think Im gonna be able to just get clean and then go back to my normal life I had before I ever started takeing the pills,I know I gotta get into some kinda program or meetings or something, its just so humiliating and embarrassing.they outa have ONLINE NA meetings hehe will post later if u guys dont mid hearing my thoughts


jamze

[Thomas]

glad to hear you're alive, my friend. Just saying hi ... give my best to Marty.

Thomas