All of these things may be of help. But in my opinion you will still go through the withdrawals. Check out the health pages here. In the upper right corner of the page.
Thanks for commenting and getting back with me quickly I am just so afraid. I have been taking 8 - 10 roxy 30 mg a day and can't seem to get past the 3rd day of being clean. I have to do this cold turkey as the money has ran out. I also have a family and feel absolutley horrible. I sit back on nights like tonight and think about all we could have had or all I could have done for my family if I wasn't so selfish and spent everything we had on myself. Is there like a support group on here or anything or did I find it? It would be nice to have a place to go and talk with people while on this journey. I don't have much of a support system in place. I told my boyfriend I am trying to come of narcotic pain meds but he believes I am only taking vicodin. I would like to find a place to conversate with people and get some emotional support while i am on by way to sobriety. I basically need to take it day by day and have a person(s) to talk about my progress with and about my expierences. Please help if you have any suggestions that would be great.
Hi ibecker5...I am new to
this as well. When I first posted anything I felt very ashamed. I had been taking anywhere from a half up to 3 roxy or oxy not sure which,
20mg a day for almost two years straight! In that time I "earned" a lot of money, which guess what I spent it on? I have found that the reported Thomas recipe works awesome....not sure if it's actually what makes me feel better, but in my head it's working. I never much enjoyed running in my life, ever! But honestly, if you have the time it's not bad at all to force yourself out if you can. I hurt when I wake and I hurt when I sleep...the first 10 minutes of your walk/run/exercise actually doesn't feel all that awesome. But the
next 10-20 minutes, if you can, are amazing. You begin to notice things all around you that you've not noticed in a while. And believe it or not, there's a lot of normalcy all around...I definitely go and soak in a bathtub full of Epsom salt afterwards and take pride in not giving in. It's so therapeutic. There is not a person in the world I feel comfortable telling in any way shape or form. I was always better before I ever took medicines. I just tried to do too much for too many. People are starting to notice and remember the "old me". They seriously don't know why, but they like it. That's has become almost as big a reward! Only thing is, I feel like I'm earning this reward! You can do it...I just stop taking them, but I don't know if that's wise. Each and every situation is probably unique, but I am positive you can do it!
Gator give some good advice. Cravings were reduced by eating some very dark chocolate. Not late @ night, it can keep you up.
When I had cravings. They were helped a lot by eating some dark chocolate at least 65% cocoa. There are chemicals in the cocoa that help the cravings.
Well my progess this past week was all wasted. I am trying to get and stay clean. I made it to day 3 and then my son got hurt at daycare and the first thing I did once he was taken care of was go out and find to make myself feel better. That is my biggest problem when something happens that isn't positive or when something doesn't go my way the first thing I do is go and get more to mak it all go away. I have tried to quite several times over past few months. The longest I made it was 4 days. On the 4th day I woke up thinking about wanting to get high and I gave into my thoughts and did it later that day. The messed up part was that I was actually starting to feel normal again that day most of the bad withdraw symptoms were gone. I wasn't in much pain, no n/v, very little diarrhea, minor body pains, and yet I gave into my mind and did it. Just like I did this week when my son got hurt. Why do I turn to pills everytime something goes wrongs? I was doing so good this week. Any suggestions on what to do when something goes wrong in my life to take my mind of wanting to use again? I have no one to talk with when these urges hit. My boyfriend knows I am trying to stop usig but he works everyday so I can't talk to him except the evenings and on weekends when he is off work and I work weekends and have been known to have bad day there and have people deliver to me at work. What can I do when I get these urges? It's like my mind blanks out on everything but geting high.
"When your desire to get clean, is stronger than your desire to use. Then, you will get clean" GTMI
That attitude is what made me go through to the 'other' side. I wanted to be clean more than I would allow drugs to control my life. It is a process. Before the drugs, was alcohol. Sure I quit but I went into drugs after that. We must learn by our mistakes.
You can learn too. Don't look at the failures but look at why you failed.
You haven't failed until you quit trying.
Yes, I am trying to do just that. I am a strong person and I know I can do this. I just have to keep on the right mind set. I also have ultram that I can use. My dr told me this works as a blocker that narcotic pain medication won't give you the effect you desire if you take it. I have taken in past when trying to quit and it does work at least for me. It takes my want for the pills away. The only problem I have is making myself take it everyday as soon as I wake up before I have a chance to think about doing pills. If I hold off on taking it and let myself think about getting high then that is usally what I do and I don't take the ultram so I can feel the effects. I also have vitamins and supplements that I was told to get to help with detox. Some are for energy the others are liver cleanser to help get rid of stores of medication in liver. I stopped taking these the day I decided to use again when my son hurt himself. I also noticed if I forced myself to get up and do physical activities/exercise even though it sucked getting up and doing it I felt better. Last week when I went two days without I made myself get up and take my son for a walk one to two times a day and it actually made my symptoms a little less and had little more energy for awhile then other times I tried stopping and just laid in the bed. I will update tomorrow with my progress.
HI I agree with GTMI you got to want it bad....more then anything else...you have proved you can make it threw the withdrawals now we just got to make it stick...the only way I know to end drug seeking behavior is to chance the behavior with aftercare...I know from your post money is tight but both N/A and A/A are free...you can also find free substance abuse conslors if you look for them try your local public mental health care facility but your going to need to plug in somewhere to end this madness once and for all...very few can do it alone
at N/A you will meet real people with real additions to talk to get pluged in it will help so much we will be here to support you but you need more then this forum..its worth the effort
when its all said and done you will no longer be chained to a pill bottle good luck and God bless....Gnarly
The free substance abuse conselors you are talking about where would I find that kind of information. Is it in the yellow pages somewhere. I live in a tri-state area the only thing they offer here in my county is through a place called community mental health and they offer some what of a sliding scale fee for services but it is still really expensive when you don't have health insurance. They offer intensive outpatient rehab for 35 dollars a session but that is a waste of money and time. It reminds me of an AA meeting but its for drug and alocohol addiciton. So basically you pay 35 to go to a glorified AA. I will definately check into the NA meetings though. I went to a few in the past when I quite doing cocaine but that was before I really got totally clean. When I quit using cocaine i did it cold turkey and basically on my own. I had new friends that knew I was coming clean and they didn't use so they were there for me. They drug me out all the time with them so I wouldn't wonder off get lost a do drugs. I didn't have a child then though so it was easy to pick up and go hang out with them. Now I have a little boy who depends on me for his every need. Does anyone know if they offer child care at the NA/AA meetings or would I have to try and find someone to keep an eye on my son while I attend these meetings? So basically what you guys are saying is that I am going to need help with this in terms of aftercare like NA/AA or counseling? It's just new to me considering I did it all on my own last time with cocaine. I never discussed any urges or problems with my friends when they drug me out. I kept all that to myself and dealt with it on my own.
HI it would be best if you could find someone to watch your child it will give you full attention to dealing with your addiction...N/A would be great but A/A will work also the progams are the same basically cocaine is a tuff one to beat CODOS to you for beating it but the pills your on now have a physical dependence as well as the physiological one so it can be a bit tuffer
you can beet this thing its just going to take some tools and skills you can learn working the 12 step program at n/a just google n/a meeting in your area and you can find one close by
this will help you change your mindset and will teach you why you have ran to the drugs in the first plase something you never did wile you where on the coke keep posting for support it late and im off to bed but ill check back with you in the morning good luck and God bless
The pain meds are a totally different animal from cocaine. Much harder to overcome from a mental standpoint from my experience. The mental reliance that gets instilled in your mind is a different type of craving that takes alot of support to overcome..Its a shame you keep getting to day 3 and can't seem to get any further as day 3 and 4 are a tipping point on the peak symptoms of the wd's. Might want to check out Jayeye's posts. He's about 14 days clean of the same thing you are taking and close to the same amounts.
Thanks Dav125 for mentioning checking out Jayeye's posts. I am going to do that. I am also going to go to my dad's tomorrow and dig out my N/A book. I think I still got it if not I am sure I can get another copy when I go to the N//A meeting. I just hope I can find one that will work out with my schedule and that I can find a sitter to attend. My boyfriend would watch him I know he would, but then he would know that the problem is bigger than what I led on the believe and that I am having alot more trouble with it than I am admitting to. He thinks that all i have taken the last 3 years are the two different strengths of vicodin my doctor has had me on 5mg and now 2.5mg which I do not take often. However, I did take a few today because I was working in the kitchen at work last couple of days and burnt the crap out of my arm and it was hurting so bad that I took a few. Although I am not sure how much it helped the pain from the burn or if it just satisfied my mental craving for narcotics. I didn't feel any high from them but just having any kind of narcotic in me makes me not feel crummy and helps me make it through the day sometimes. I didn't take any vicodin the times I made to to day 3 or 4 in quiting. I don't think you can call that quiting maybe slowing dowm but definately not quiting. I am going to try to make it through the day tomorrow without anything at all and maybe now that I am on here talking to people and have the support from the people here together with N/A, my vitamins, and my friends and family I will be able to make it past day 3 or 4. That really ***** making it several times to day 3 or 4. By then the worst of the withdrawls seem reduce greatly. Then I mess it up and put my body back throught the worst 3 or 4 days. I just can't handle the sweating at night. I am so hot that i sweat tremendously but yet at the same time so cold, my body aches, i have n/v, diarrhea and the list goes on. By the 4th day I feel normal again and mess everything I worked so hard at up. I have one kinda strange symptom that I am not quite sure what to call it but it feels very wierd and seems to last a couple days. I have an odd sensation in my arms and legs. I don't feel like I am in my own body. It is kinda tingly yet restless in a way. They just don't feel right. Almost like they aren't a part of body. Anyone have any suggestions on what this is? I know its very vague symptoms but maybe one of you have expierenced something similar and is there anything I can do to make the feeling go away? We wish me luck. I am going to tackle this one more time hopefully its the last. I am going to arm myself with a couple good books, magazines, and start reading the n/a book until I can get everything lined up to go to some meetings.
Just wanted to clarify that when I said I did a few today it was the roxy's not the vicodin. The main reason I did them today instead of quiting is because I didn't get any sleep last night and was extremely drained from staying on a high for the past few days and not sleeping that I needed something to get me through work. I know thats not an excuse to use but tomorrow I start my vacation and it doesn't end until next wed and that is if I am a scheduled to work wed it might be longer depending on where my off days fall for the week. So tomorrow I will start on the journey of not using. That is how I have done it in the past and have made it to day 3 or 4 was when I had few days off in a row. Now I have to focus on making past day 3 or 4 and getting into some support groups, meetings, or counseling.
Hey there proud mom of a precious 3 yo little boy :),
Don't fret that odd feeling you are trying to describe about your arms or legs. Thats a normal symptom of the wd's..I had the same problem as you in trying to describe the feeling we have when it's like that. Some people call it a restless leg syndrome, but it isn't like they shake or anything. Its like the muscles or joints develop a "craving" of sorts causing them to yearn or strain for something..I guess this is the best way to describe it.
With me it was my arms only. And the way it worked was it would start in one arm, I then might drift off to sleep for a short spell, and when I woke, it would have moved into the other arm. I would try to tuck the arm under me, shake it, punch it,,anything you can think about..Something that partially helped was an Ace bandage..I had a sore wrist and had wrapped it up and during the time I had it on, the pressure from wrapping did make it a little more tolerable..Its worth a try.
And the night sweats? Yup, a few days of that. Just get yourself some extra t-shirts and lay them on your headboard or near the bed. When I would wake from what short spell of sleep I would get during those first 5 days, I would have a couple by the bed to change them out as they got too wet or damp.
In regard to the restlessness though, I keep hearing about picking up some type of over the counter med called "Hylands restless leg" medicine?" I believe thats what its called..I think that is available at Walmart's. And at the bottom of the main page right column, there is the Thomas Recipe Protocol that has a variety of vitamins etc that members here says helps. Oh, and get some immodium or something similar. It does help with the diarrhea. And even though you have no appetite, try to eat something simple like soup and sandwiches. Having the diarrhea with nothing in the stomach makes that worse. You land up feeling like you have to go over and over but there's nothing there..
You've got your vacation time here to work with this so take advantage of the moment. Its going to be tough this coming week but as some members have said? Remember,,its ok not to feel good for a few days. Your going to feel like you have the worst case of the flu during this time, but its ok. It will have passed before you know it
And finding a book or doing anything to preoccupy your mind is a very good idea. There will be times that the clock doesn't seem to move at all. Just try not to get caught up over-thinking how bad you feel these next few days..Try anything to keep from over-dwelling on that. Can't think of much more to add right now, but do check out jayeye's posts..There is strength to be found in them..If you pull his profile up, thats the easiest way to find the posts..The link below is is profile....
Wishing you the best in getting over this hurtle. You can do this. Keep that thought alive..You can make it....David
Today is my second day not using anything other than my non-narcotic medications prescribed to me by my doctor. I am so physched. Hopefully this trend will last. Thanks to all who have helped me get to this point. And don't run away I still need you guys to talk to for help and support.
Set yourself to do this! You can, I know it. There are so many here that are living proof that it is doable. Day 3 & 4 are usually the worst. Get through them and usually things start to improve.
STICK WITH IT! And its hard o god its hard, lots of mental ups n downs beating urself up, but u can't take back what u did so put it behind u and look forward. if u need someone everyday I will talk to u. I too took 10 or more roxys everyday for a lonnnnng time(years). I'm a single mom of boys 9+5 and same thing my boyfriend thought I was only taking 5mg percs doc gave me,and again same thing I barely see him n live alone (with my boys). Today marks my 1 week that I broke down in Dr office (no insurance either) and told the truth. he gave me something called subutex(that crap was expensive! and I can barely afford rent and food!) and I tried it day 1 and it didn't work so I took the tiniest piece of a pill day 2 + 3(wrong if ur trying to quit) which was like nothing anyway. I was used to 300+mg a day and used like maybe 5mg of the pill for 2 days I think that was more mental telling myself I felt it or something. I think I sat in my chair for 3 days n barely moved but had to feed kids too :) I feel bad but they ate pizza and anything quick for a few days. I made myself eat bananas and drink water. Day 4 I tried subutex again and felt better (but that's prob cuz I was thru worst of it) but then I realized I was just going to replace one thing with another and said screw the subutex too! I still feel a little blah but my mind is changing, thinking more positively. Realizing my boys don't deserve a mom who's hooked! I used to stand in front of the mirror and just say their names, hunched over feeling like crap, to remind myself y I wanted to quit. They just thought I was sick. IT DOES GET BETTER!! I just wanted to share bcuz the more and more I read on here and let the truth out somewhere (cuz I couldn't at home I was too ashamed) I felt better with people who were thinking and or going thru what I was. Like I said STICK WITH IT! U CAN DO IT IF U WANT TO BAD ENOUGH! And just like anyone ur child doesn't deserve a mom who's sneaking around (i even had my 'guy' see me @ work too!). U have to make urself say NO just like u learned in elementary school. Hope this helps u but u can do this!
Well today wasn' t a good day. I was feeling like total crap. And my bad influence of a friend stopped by to see how I was feeling and handed me a 30mg. I was strong at first and handed it back but eventually I cracked from feeling like crap. I did just a small line of his only really enough to taste it. Don't know why I did because it didn't even help with the wd's I still feel like living hell. It's worse for me during the night. But I was strong and didn't get anymore like I normally would have. Bottom line I don't have money to get anymore and today the fact that it didn't help only made me realize if I can do tiny piece of one, it not help, and the fact that I didn't go get more even though I could have makes me realize I can and will do this. Although my tracker will have to be restarted today still proved to me that I really don't need them. It wasn't from lack of not wanting more. I had to fight myself a couple times not to go and get more. The cravings and urges were strong but I kept reminding myself of why it was I don't want to do these anymore. I don't like who they make me and I don't want to be controlled by them anymore. So I am looking at today as a positive outcome instead of a negative expierence because I was able to fight my urges and work through them even though I took small line of one. Please don't be too hard on me. I am trying and will keep trying until I get it right. Good night talk to everyone tomorrow.
WHOA,wait a minute!..You did a line???? That is a complete No No. You need to re-think this wheel. I get it that you broke after 3 days, but what are you thinking here? Having a rush of drugs is the last thing you should do. It makes it SO much worse trying to quit. Never chew, snort or shoot!
Please get yourself hooked into NA or AA now. You need someone to be there for you so you can actually make it through the withdrawals so that can be behind you, instead of taunting you.
Yes, I know it is horrible to snort then. That was always my perferred method of doing them. I still think that it was a good thing I didn't do the whole one. I know I need to go to NA or AA, but I have a child and no one who can watch him in the evenings to go. The only way I might be able to work that out is if I found a meeting place close to my house and was able to work it in before 9am in the morning or between 4 or 5pm. My son has to be picked up no later than six. I am only allowed to take him 30 hours a week to daycare so it would have to work in with that as well. I have stopped doing them in the past without outside help. I have always done them that way. I know I can make it and I will make it. My energy is starting to come back. I actually looked forward and wanted to take my son the the community park to play. I haven't felt like that in awhile. Not excited about it or having fun. I was both today. When I was on pills at the worse here lately like 6-10 or so a day of 30mg roxy's I had tons of energy that is why I did them but didn't really have any interest in doing anything other than what had to be done on a day to day basis. I know that is awful to say. I would get up go to work, pick my son up, cook dinner, and play with him a little but it wasn't enjoyable it seemed more like a chore. Like I was just going through the motions. I was also more short fused. I would get irritated a lot easier from the typical 3 year old behavior. I was so happy today. The way I felt playing with my son at the park was great. I haven't had that feeling in so long. I really enjoyed him and myself. It was great. I look forward to having these types of days everyday. I forgot what it was like to be my natural self. It's amazing how much pills change your life and the way you act and look at things. I liked the feeling i had today and plan having this type of day everyday. I deserve a better life than the person I was when I am doing pills and my son definately deserves it. He is my world, but through the pills I seem to have lost myself and not been there like I should have been. I am sure there will be many ups and downs in the beginning but I am determined to keep the person I found again today around. I just have to take it minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. Hopefully with the support of my friends, family, and this online community I will be able to do this. I just need to remind myself when I get the urge of how I felt today and what my ulitmate goal is to be clean. Well got to get some sleep. Goodnight.