Looking for support during fentanyl withdrawal

[AJBeaker]

Hi.  I am a chronic back pain sufferer - have been for 16 years.  Was put on Tramadol in 1998 after 2 back surgeries.  Stayed on low dose for a good number of years.  In 2005 pain started getting worse and Tramadol was upped until I was taking the "maximum" dose - 400mg a day.  This wasn't enough to stop the pain and although it didn't really change things, pain wise, I was taking 600-700mg a day.  Eventually I was accepted into a Pain Managemnt Programme and they put me on Fentanyl Patch (25micrograms).  They gave me NO information on what it was, what it did or how hellish it would make my life.  Pain wise it was a godsend but the side effects were nasty.  As the months passed, it stopped working quite so well.  I started taking 100, then 200, then 300mg of Tramadol on top of it.  As my body became more used to it I found it wasn't lasting the 72 hrs.  I started changing it at 66hrs, then 60hrs until I was changing it every 2 days.

I recently had a Neuromodulation device (spinal cord stimulator) implanted and that is controlling my pain.  So it's time to start coming off the drugs.  My GP (who was furious that I'd been put on Fentanyl in the first place and without any information) has switched me onto 100mg (25mg x 4 daily) of MST (Sevredol) which is supposedly the equivalent dose.  I'm only on the first 24hrs and feel as high as a kite.  

I feel completely nauseas, headache and spaced out.  I'm very tired but not sleeping.  To be honest it could be (and has been) worse but I'm just feeling low - like at the bottom of a very steep hill.  Part of me can't wait to finally be drug free but part of me is anxious about what life will be like.  I've been on prescription drugs since I was 18 (I'm now 29) so I feel like they are part of me.  I don't like to call myself an addict but I guess through no fault of my own I am.  I certainly don't want to offend anyone but I have to ask - am I an addict if I get no "high" from the drug?  I only take them for pain yet I cannot function without them.

If there is anyone out there that can give me a little boost, a bit of moral support from someone who's been there before and is standing at the top of that mountain a free man (woman!) then I'd love to hear from you.

Thanking you in advance

Beaker

[SHELLBELL79]

I detoxed fromt he fentanyl patch 18 days ago. I have to say it was the most traumatic and painful experience of my life. Just like you , I am 29 and have been on pain meds for years b/c of chronic, severe pain. I too wanted to detox off of 150mcg of the patches b/c my doc did the radio frequency which is temproray and I am waiting to get the pain pacemaker free b/c i can't afford it. I practically detoxed off of the fentanyl patches cold turkey. If you use suboxone, your withdrawals will be easier but then you have to detox off of the suboxone which I heard is not easy. I would suggest tapering, that is what jacqui did. She is 6 months since she came off the patch and I am just 18 days. It is not easy but hey say it will get better. I am waiting on that. If I can do it, you can do it!!!!
PM if you need more info, A lot of people helped me a lot on here.
Michelle

[GoingToMakeIt]

The one you need to get a hold of is Jacqui805. She went through this in January and is also extremely knowledgeable about things. Send her a message.

[raingrrl]

I am also trying to get free from Fentanyl.  Read my post "Black Hole" if you want to know how bad it can really get.  In a snse, you are lucky.  Lower dose, and you don't seem to have my history or tendancies toward extreme abuse.

As to whether you are an addict, if you are compliant with your meds and not using them to get high, the answer is no.  You can be physically dependent without the joys of addiction.  If you told me that you abused your meds, lied to your doc & the people around you, and would do anything at all to get more drugs - then the answer would be yes.

Don't be too hard on yourself.  Legitimate pain does need treatment.