Lortab Addiction and liver damage

[teeniedal]

Hi everyone, well my New Year's resolution was to stop taking these damn lortabs! I don't think it will happen and I'm so tired of feeling this way!!! I had my wisdom teeth pulled on Janurary 9, 2009 and was given 5/500 Vicodin for the pain. The very next morning, mouth all swollen and killing me I received a call from some lady I'd never met telling me I had lost my job of 16 years. My husband had lost his job the month before so my anxiety level went through the roof. I began abusing the pills. Of course I ran out but quickly found a way to get them. I'm up to between 3-6 10/500 Lortabs a day now. I have had an addiction problem in the past, mainly alcohol and cocaine when I was 18 yrs old (I am 39 now) but stopped using by the time I turned 20 but that was nothing compared to the way these pills have ahold of me!!
I've tried to go cold turkey, I've tried to taper, hasn't worked! I don't know what else to do!! About 3 weeks ago, I developed a pain on my right side that hasn't really went away. Sometimes I think it's my intestines hurting (I have a history of ulcers), sometimes it feels like it is my liver. I went online and read some pretty scary stuff about tylenol poisoning but the fear of withdrawal is more intense than DYING I guess!!! Has anyone else had stomach problems due to Lortabs? Isn't that usually just associated with aspirin?
This drug is the devil, I love it and hate it!! It makes everything in life so easy to deal with but I feel I'm going to pay a hefty price for this soon....... I'm contemplating going to a dr (even though I have no insurance) and just coming clean about my addiction but I feel so ashamed and feel I will be treated badly. I've heard there are drugs that can help (subboxine, subutex don't know if I'm spelling that right) but have also heard they themselves are addicting. Does anyone know if this is true? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry to ramble on, hope everyone has a good new year. I sure hope 2010 brings better things for me, kinda fell like it's do or DIE!!!

[imrprod]

I was on pills for 4 years and was taking a LOT more than you currently are...it only gets worse. Like you I was convinced I couldn't live without the pills.  Like you I am an alcoholic and sought treatment for it 12 years ago and stayed sober for years until the pills.  THis disease is cunning baffling powerful and without help you will not be able to stay stopped.  Go to AA or NA and find support and help.  People there will know about doc's in your area and they will also know what you are going through and not make you feel shame.  I am clean now for a short time and my life is SOOO better.  I feel again I hear again I smile again....I am so happy to be free from those damn pills.  Suboxone can help with physical withdrawals but I needed the support of AA as well. I don't suggest staying on Sub for more than a month or so as they are also addictive and hard to quit the longer you use them.  Make a plan get some valium antidepressents and stay busy. Day one isn't bad 2 and 3 you feel like you have the flu from there it gets better.  Just think about it..can you handle a bad flu for a week or so to save your life???  Does chemotherepy for liver cancer sound like much more fun.  Help is out there reach out your hand and ask for it and it will appear.

[teeniedal]

Thanks for the reply worried878. U r right, some days I feel I can kick this thing and others I do not. 90% is mental. I have to take 3 10/500 pills at a time to feel any effect. So sometimes I do this once a day, sometimes twice. For the past 2 weeks, just once. I take "my dose" and feel great for awhile but as the day wears on, my right side starts to hurt. I vow to not take ANYMORE. The next day, almost upon waking, I reach for them like they are my cup of coffee. But I have made it 34 hours before giving in. I've tried to taper but my mind says you can't just take one or two, thats a waste (this is what I need to work on I think) and I've tried to eliminate all pills from the house but I know it's just a phone call away.....
It has really helped me alot just to find this site and read that I am not alone. It's taken me awhile to get up the nerve to post something myself, but I'm glad I did. I feel so ashamed, I mean I have two kids that I've taught not to do drugs and look at me......
Thanks again, I don't think the Sub is for me at this point then, seems like it would just be substituting one problem for another.

[worried878]

WELL


if u do not think u will be able to kick this..chances r...that u will not kick this...new years resolution or not..I do not mean to be negative in the early hours of 2010...but fact is this is mostly a mental battle///stopping is///and u have already defeated urself ...u do not think u can do it...so the odss r very much against u

Peeps r so afraid of physical wd..when the mental aspect of addiction is the tough part...u gotta be sick and tired of being sick and tired...then it becomes easier...not easy but it becomes so much easier..u will know when u r done..u will hit ur bottom..some have lower bottoms than others.....some have no bottom and they use until they die//letting the pills win..it is a battle ur mind wins in the end

ur dose is not high..but u do have have a history of addiction which usually leads to escalated doses in a short amount of time//ur tylenol dose is not astromical///but it could become that way in the next few years..4000 mgs of tylenol is the max dose recommended per day//as a rule hydro is 500 mgs a day be it a 5, 7.5 or a 10 mg pill//norcco being an exception and others...usually it will say 10/500 etc..with the 2nd number being the tylenol dose

Sub is for extreme doses..30-60 mgs is not considered a sub nor methadone dose//CT is the easiest for some//disciplined peeps can taper////sub is very addicting..before jumping to another narcotic//I would think twice...or thrice...or for a long time...no alternative maintenence narcotic will make u clean..u gotta want it....perhaps u have not reached ur bottom..or perhaps u have..or perhaps u will not until it is too late..with ur history of a prior addiction, I would beware

and Be very safe..keep posting...perhaps others will give u more info on a 30-60 mghydro habit using  sub to stop...some may say it is a great idea//most will say it is not...

Hang tight..if u r not done//try very hard to not get higher on ur dose....lots of support here//keep posting