Awww u poor thing I feel for you. You have a lot going on. I'm new to this forum and only started my detox via Thomas recipe and withdrawal ease + taper.I don't have an answer and don't know how long u have been using and the reason for the scripts. If u were given and taking basically the rt dose then I don't understand why ur going to be out prior to next refil. Also are u wanting to quit or just trying to get help while u get ur refill?
In any event get the recommended Thomas recipe vits and withdrawal ease as well if u can. This will at the very least give u some assistance while u wait for ur refill. Also if any pills lf cut back so at least u can extend the script. U may feel some discomfort but it will be better than nodda
how many your gonna be short for how long
go back to your doctor and get more? or hospital and get more? thats what i do when i run out to soon....
but good luck hun <3
Dr said no!! Gave me some story that he would lose his lisence if he called them in early. He normally calls them in early all the time as I was the type of Patient afraid to try advil when getting the wisdom teeth out. Just living down here has gotten the best of me and here I am, Yes, I would like to stop for good and always say I won't start the next script but I have the type of husband that won't go out on weekends. I had a best friend with diabetis we went every where in fact I may as well have been married to her as for 15 yrs I did nothing with husband. He's content doing nothing. Why did I marry him. Before we moved here we moved to Northern Michigan with the parents. Here I am 20 the age to meet future husband. God fobid there would even one university where we moved to, That place was hell reborn. My Dad was a vice President of a large company and the life style there drove him to drink. Hard alchaholic. He quit on a dime and got the job in New orleans. He then died in 99. So I married one of the guys that were left in Michigan that blew off college and thought I would change him. Nope that didn't happen. He is not protective. In fact when I got a job where he works and the idiots there would not train me on their system (I'm a technical writer} I left and do you think that ***** went to HR and helped me out after co workers were saying we have to get this educated C*nt out of here in my hearing. I literally thought I was having a stroke my head was so wierd there. Long story but no protection and the topper. My Dad was the one who got HIM the job.
So to answer questions Yes, I would love to be off these for good as I know the depression that comes with them would go but on the other side I am suicidal living here in some wanky suburban neighborhood out in the country. 60 miles to Drs. Grocery store in gas station. Our big mall is Wallmart where they all get clothes food, car things etc. This place is a sociological experiment to say the least. And I'm failing the test. When I meet people....Are you baptist........are you republican.......are you democrat........I am none of the above in fact whatever faith I was trying to have this place has taken it from me. As you can see I am in a terrible state of affairs. Needed a hysterectomy. Hubby told me we had helath insurance and nope I ended up paying over $36,000 for that lie. I wouldn't have gotten it done if I had know the truth. God I hate this place and all of its inhabitants.
@GMcp I couldn't go to the hospital here for anything. I used to work in one $800 to walk in the door, thousands for tests, nothing wrong with me and I would be a stranger so they won't give me pills. My Dr in Looseranna has known me for years and has built a trust with me that's why he gives me it all as I was good at taking them correctly but when my only friend died because these local drs refused to see her since she couldn't pay she went into kidney failure after I had shelled out thousands to protect her and still this place let her die. If you don't have to I would never reccomend coming down here for anything. They will blame that hurricane for why you were murdered. We all worked through that hurricane at the hospital (I ws admitting in ER then) and when it was at it's worst the hospital threatened our jobs if after it was over we just wanted to go and see if our houses made it or our pets. This is a ghastly ghastly place. @halstead124 I will be 12 days without them.
@PLShelp2011 I saved you to last as I probably won't even be able to find the things in the Thomas recipe around here. Most of those vitimins or other things can't be gotten here. It's crawfish and beer in this classy joint. Oh and maybe some gun shining cloths.
Please pray to what ever God you believe in that I can get some repreave. So many strangers in fast foods places come up to me thinking I'm a nurse or something as I am the only one who takes a risk talking to strangers here. They say I make them feel better as none of their stories seem to be as bad as mind. I just wonder why I am being punished like this. Me and pills used to be never. My body was my temple. It's living here thats killing me. No city for miles. They tell me they shop in Atlanta and Dallas. How sick is that? Sale sign on every house almost. Don't think its just me. I drive to Looserana to get that lottery ticket as Mississippi and ALabama on the others side of MS can't handle that either. Casinos every where but no lottery. Evey waitress I meet new to this area tells me her Mom in her 50's is suicidal here so they are leaving. My husband won't go unless some miricle company offers him a job just out of the blue. As if they would be intersted in a resume of someone who has worked in Looseranna for 20 years. Don't think anyone would take a bet on that. Thanx for listening guys. Please keep posting. I don't think I can survive this by myself.
so your not looking to quit or just trippin over DTs
And of course I will read your posts on other threads and try to help all of you there. I'm just so new to this that I've just been in this thread. Thanks for all your quick responses. Wonder if any of us will get any sleep tonight. I've had a .5 xanax, an ambien and a fight with my husband. He actually became violent. I've never had that before from any guy. He is helping zero with this. Only pissed off that I got myself into this. Wonder if I was driven to it. Not greedy person but married for almost 20 years, never a birthday pres. or Christmas either. My b-day is on Dec 31st. You would think he'd at least go out on that night. The excuse. He doesn't want guys hussleing me up. What an excuse. I know how to say no. I've never ignored his birthday. I will be now. Thx again!!
I am wanting to quit. I just go soft when the script come thru again as I am so lonely and miserable here. When I leave this area for a few days I don't even think of the pills. If I had a job or money I would never look back, So yes I want to quit but they are the only thing that numbs me from living here. You'd have to see this place to believe it. Millionaire neighborhood and nothing but trees for 60 miles to the murder zone of New Orleans. Don't let adverts or TV fool you, that place is worse than detroit for the murders etc. I go anyway as I don't care what happens to me. Pills or not. I am not someone who can sit in this house and rot. Why did I go to TUlane to do nothing? I have no money as my parents came here from Scotland with $60. They did very well financially but since my mom lives on her own she is afriad to help me. I understand that. I have never been a borrower and won't start now. After this controlling marriage I don't EVER want to be beholden to anyone again. No that he has ever given me on ered cent.
Going to try and sleep now. I'm sweating and feeling awful. Be back tomorrow. Thanks everyone!
Yes, he prescibes it all to me. Today has been terrible. Runs, weakness. Went all that stupid way down to Walmart to get the vits and advils etc and came out the battery was dead. Walmart won't look at Volvos! Oh mand, so had to get husband to get one and bring it to me. What a time for this to happen. Have only had 1 xanax today and will prob have 2 tonight so deff slowing down with them. It's been 36 hours now. How much longer will the physical thing last. Isn't it funny how during WD's I'm to weak to crave one just to get through it. Blows my mind how bad the quitting is compared to the taking. Do you think I'm underway you guys? I just can't imagine te day is going to come where I feel myself again. To top it off I'm reading Mackenzie Philips book where she's just a wreck. Now she's sober but 100 pages to go and I have the feeling she's gonna fall off the wagon. Probably not what I should be reading.
How is everyone else doing? This is just a horrow isn't it?
Thank you for all the answers. I am on day 6 now all clean. Thing is I;ve been dealing with a raging sinus infection that I thought was w/d's but no plus all the stress of coming off and fighting with husby has me grinding my teeth,my face is a mess. Anyway, can get the lortabs this week so I guess we shall see how I survive having them but not usuing them or if I wil fall off. Wish me luck. How are all of you doing these days?
Listen, your life is complicated right now, but you admited you are using the pills to dull the MENTAl pain...this is bad news. You are already on day 6 so why not keep looking forward. I know life seems impossible, but I can guarantee you that once you are over the physical part of the WD's (which you should be getting close to) that your body is going to be feeling much better. The mental part is only going to keep getting harder the longer you stay on the devil pills. Like I said, I know it seems impossible, but you CAN make it through this. Don't worry about tomorrow, or next week or next month....just deal with right now or at most, the upcoming hour. Stop dwelling on what will be or what is going to happen etc. Stop dwelling on the ickyness of where you live. Just work on getting yourself mentally stronger, happier and healthier. You HAVE to do this for yourself. You can't change or control your husband, the community, the weather, the attitudes of neighbors. You can't change the fact your best friend died, or the amount of money you spent trying to prevent it, or the doctor that will or won't prescribe different meds at different times. You need to back up really far, look at your here and now and realize the pain meds are keeping you down, like a boat anchor!! IF there is no counseling where you live or any kind of after care, then you need to post the heck out of yourself on this forum. You HAVE to stay away from the pain pills. They are the devil and they are making your bad situation into something even worse. Work on your here and now. Work on staying OFF the pain meds. Can you trust your doctor with the truth? He can't help if he doesn't know what is going on.
Post and let us know somemore about you and life. My vote is you DO NOT get the pain med. refill, You have made it to day 6 and you can't get a refill until your Day 12...by then you will be clean almost 2 weeks.....embrace your cleaness and keep going forward.I know things seem impossible, but think about it long and hard. Going back to the pills will only dig you a bigger hole to fall into. Once you make it to Day 12 I KNOW you will be much better off emotionally. Why don't you commit to 30 days, no pills. You will post here every single day and be honest about your feelings. I bet you will start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. You will start feeling better. You can do this and we are here for you. Your situation will not get better if you go back on the pills. It will just keep being bad for you.
Like I said, don't worry about anything tomorrow or next week or even 3 hours from now. The only future event you should worry about is giving yourself 30 days with no pills. Circle that day on your calendar and other than that, don't worry about the future. Stay in the here and now. Embrace the moment. Examine your feelings. Start to do a lot of reading. You need to read up on PAWS and all the other things that go with addiction, WD's. life's problems along with being addicted to pain meds, the physical dependance etc.
Since there are no stores where you live, you will have to order your books from online.
Do you just want to read up on factual, recovery stuff or real world biographies about people who have made it through recovery (e.g. Nikki Sixxes 'The Heroin Diaries') or fictional or semi-fictinal books that will help you (e.g. 'A Million Little Pieces)...there is a lot out there for you to read and think about. We can help you with this.
Can we get a commitment for 30 days, no pills.
You can do this...I know you can. You will feel so much better. Even just physically, you will be much better off. If you are only taking the pills at 3-4 a day, that is 1,500-2,000 mgs of tylenol a day. Do you do any drinking? We need to think about your overall health.
Please write back and let us know what you think about doing the 30 days. I know you can do it. Emotionally, my life is a trainwreck and I have serious pain issues to boot, but even with the fog of the pills I KNOW I was making everything so much worse. I'm at the 2 week mark and only looknig forward, and I will admit, it is REALLY hard. You are on day 6....why don't you mark your calendar for day 30 and that will be my Day 38. Why don't we commit to do this together. What do you say?
Please let us know. We are all here for you.
Stay strong and don't worry about tomorrow, just live in the now. You are not using right now and you will keep not using 'right now'
Thanx for the really great post. I'm still hanging in there. Hope you are still recovering well. Yesterday was rough as weekends are just too much for me hanging around doing nothing,knowing that future will be nothing,will never get out of here. etc.
Hey look, I won't droan on and depress you but yes lets try to do this together. Esp. you as you are from a good part of the country. I was actually born in B.C. Vic. Lovely up there. Here, unbearable. Everyone I meet is just so lost. It's such a nothing place. I know you said not to dwell on this place but there is no where else to put my mind.
I will say I don't miss the added depression that comes with the hydros. They actually made me feel worse on them then off. And the constipation. Truly, I was wondering why I was gaining weight as I'm hyper, well things are back to normal with that and I'm withering away.Um.......slowly.
Thankyou so much for your kind words. I would write longer if I didn't think I would send you to a set back with my personal agony.
PM me if you would like.