Lost my wife to vicodin and gambling

[stix506]

I tried to approach my wife about her vicodin addiction and gamling addiction, but she said she needed her vicodin for her chronic fatigue and gambling for stress relief. She would get severely angry at me, and tell me I only want to take the things she enjoys away from her even though she needed the vicodin for her chronic fatigue. We were only married for 2 years this month, and I had to tell her to leave. Now, she said I am 100% at fault for the marriage breaking up. The vicodin addiction made her very anxious, and she would blow up at me for the slightest approach to her problem even if my approach was in a real nice calm manner. She put me into bankruptcy because of her gambling, and I'm struggling to maintain on my own. I have almost commited suicide because I was so hurt for telling her to leave. Was there anything I could have done to convince her she had a problem? Could I have maybe saved our marriage and helped with her addiction? She is an active registered nurse, and should have known better.

Sad & Hurt,
Bob

[worried878]

She wioll need to get help one day cos she will crash and burn.  She is hooked on dopamine release is sounds like.  Shopping, smoking, gambling, sex, alcohol and drugs,can all become problems for someone who has an addictive personality

I am sorry you had to experience this and go thru the pain addiction inflicts on all close to them...but she will have to reach her bottom..and reach out for help

good luck to u qand moving forward is all u can do now

[Jaybay]

You are not responsible for your wife's addiction, and you are certainly not responsible for her recovery.  All of that is entirely up to her.  You did the right thing by asking her to leave and turning your attention to repairing your own life - and finances.  There is not one darn thing you can say or do to an active addict to change her behavior.  Please don't pack your bags for that guilt trip.

[JustNotStrongEnough]

Vicodin is not for chronic fatigue... unless I have been missing something....

[paying_it_forward]

I am so sorry to hear that. Even though she is a registered nurse addiction is still possible. My mother works in hospitals and told me that ANYBODY can get addicted to medications...she know's doctors and nurses with addictions. It sounds like your wife doesn't realise her behaviours even though you do see them.

I myself was addicted to codine painkillers and whenever someone questioned me about them i would retaliate and become defensive and really be in denial i guess.

There are most definitely more ways of stress relief than gambling. Though she may not feel that way. Perhaps she is depressed?

Don't blame yourself, by the sounds of it you have approached her many times in many different ways and in the end it is up to her to realise her destructive behaviour. I do hope in time that she see's what really is happening and gets some help. Perhaps get some counseling for yourself? or if she would agree to come along to counseling with you and talking about things?

All the best of luck to you.

[lovieb]

Sorry for you marriage ending, but it sounds that she was more interested in the fun of the drug and gambling then the marriage.  Did you ever go to the Doctor with her to discuss the problems her actions were having on your marriage?  Did you know about these issues before you were married?  Being a registered nurse, she is taking lives into her hands high and that is a very scary.  But if she left without even the thought of quitting then I don't think you should blame yourself.  Try to move on with your life and know that you did what you could to help her.  Does she have family close to her that you can contact about the addiction.  My sister was addicted to Meth for a few years, hit rock bottom last year and finally got into rehab and is getting her life back together.  Good luck to ya.