I had to read your post a few times to understand it clearly...could you end your sentences with a period?
So, did you take MDMA to feel normal and for anxiety? I wasn't clear on that...
I don't think it will affect you physically as far as your wd is concerned but it's addict behavior and you may want to look at that...
i just took it to have a good time really. being at 6 weeks most of the w/d symptoms are gone. the only thing that i still feel are some unwanted thoughts. like ill think about how im feeling throughout the day because i want this to be over so bad. i dont feel worse today i feel about the same. im not worried about getting addicted to mdma because its a VERY rare thing to find for me. the only reason i took it last night was because i was offered it.
I understand... What if someone had offered an opiate of some kind; free, as a one time thing? That's what my concern for you is...
Are you thinking about pills throughout the day?
no not at all i can honestly say through this whole experience i have not had a single craving or even thought about taking one. the thought of taking one scares me because i dont want to have to feel like this anymore. if someone would have offered me a tab last night while rolling i can honesly say i would not have takin it. i would have asked that person to leave my house most likely. i dont feel like i was not in control. others at my house that night were smoking opium around the fire we where sitting at and i had no urge to even take the pipe and hit it. in fact they were smoking out of my pipe and i threw it away because of the small chance that the resin of the opium on my pipe would affect me. the only way i think i could be craving is subcontiously while i dont want to take one and dont think about it, the thought of me going through the w/d may be my subcontious way of craving you think? also to add over analyze alot of situations do you think this could be causing the symptoms to linger?
Congrats on your 6 Big Weeks! While Ecstasy will not throw you into w/d's you might feel a little fatigued and anxious for a day or two on comedown.
My concern while reading your post was - while as casual as you might consider it - that you are still seeking a way to alter your chemistry.
The problem is that we tend to tell ourselves "Oh, I can take this" of "I'll just do it once". The result is invariably a slippery downwards slope, eventually.
You've got to realize that your brain and your psychology are crying out for mood altering substances - particularly this early on. I know you had a light habit but it was a habit, nonetheless.
Have you taken any steps to arm yourself w/ a 'framework' to ensure you maintain your hard-won gains? It would be a shame to go backwards. Do you plan on taking steps to stay 'witnessed' via meetings, family/friends, spirituality, therapy, etc?
Very, very few of us are successful when we go it alone and don't engage in one or more of the above. I wish you all the best in this and in all other things. Please let us know what you think. We're here.
i have i deleted all of my contacts and told them i do no want them to text about pills anymore. i also got a new number so no one can text me offering. all of my closest friends and my family know about my problem including my loving and very supportive girlfriend. im a big fan of pyscodelics. mushrooms, lsd, dmt. not so much other drugs while, i do have a problem with lortabs, im working to get over that. my dad and sister are alcoholics i do not like to drink. i do it occationally and i dont like it i dont like uppers i dont like those kinds of drugs i prefer drugs that are going to enlighten me like mushrooms making you laugh sooo much and sooo hard it has to be theriputical is some way. even when i was taking them it was, alot of times, very difficult to find them which helps me alot. im very stong minded hense why i over analyze so much. i wont take another lortab or opiate ever again i can say that i enjoy the fun of life to much. i can entertain myself so easily because im board very easily, i think do to my adhd. i think its why i got hooked as far as i did. because they entertained me. i know now what to do if i have the urge to take one. simply entertain myself do something iv always had to do sense a toddler i am done with these things. just waiting to feel normal again =)
I'm so glad to hear that you're done w/ these bad boys. It's also great that you have a method of distracting and entertaining yourself. (I do that, too and I used to love 'Shrooms myself.)
I'd just ask you one thing, and please, don't take offense: If distracting yourself is effective enough to keep you away from Lortabs, why are you kicking them now and why did you have to delete or your contacts? (which I fully congratulate you on. Awesome. Also glad you have the support of family and friends - that's great!)
im kicking them now because i was terrified from this experience. i did not hardly even experience the physical part of withdrawal. i just experienced baaaad anxiety the first 2-3 weeks. like my saftey as far as how unsafe the world is. like just horribly uncomfortable thoughts. i know for a fact i will never forget this event in my life i will always remember how horrible w/d made me see life. i deleted my contacts not because i had the urge to take one i was just taking precaution just in case ya know? just incase i ever wanted to call or if i ever get the urge. it will be that much harder to find them. i love life i just went through a time in my life where i was getting a little over weight and not doing as much to entertain myself which i am changing i dont want to be so lazy anymore i enjoy life alot nature expetially. im probably the onlyone of my friends i know that notice the beauty of trees changing from season to season!
i read that once you get back to normal is when you are most likely to relapse. i read alot on everything about opiate withdrawal my first week. so i know something about how this all will play out .i think if i have the urge i will use my natural talent to entertain myself so easily, to help me through the times i want one. i think i just started letting the pills have fun for me because i enjoyed the way they maid me feel. i have to learn to be happy and entertain myself
Sounds good. I love nature, too. If your friends don't appreciate the same things you do maybe you could find a group or a class that does (I'm thinking botanical society, birdwatchers, whatever). Also, if you were going through a period where you didn't feel so chipper about yourself or your body, a gym might be just the ticket. I know I feel so much better mood wise and physically when I exercise.
yeah iv been walking/running a mile almost everyday. my friends do appriciate them i think just dont talk about it as much as me but these are those friends that you will never lose you know? like even if you wanted to you guys just know so much about each other. grew up together. someone you can always talk to.
I know exactly what you mean - the kind of people where even when you're down they want to know you. You're lucky if you get a handful or so in a lifetime.
yea haha i def have a handful of those friends
Hi..Great Job on riding the opiates..I just wanted to chime in on something here..I too was doing the mini whites at 14 and then the acid, mushrooms and coke/crank on & on..I was just wondering if you are going to leave these things alone..It does lead up the latter to bigger and worse drugs..I was on the other opiates 16 years ago..This lead to my favorite drug methadone..I was out of control for over 12 yrs..I do not have adhd so I was snorting it with adderral and was getting the Big Buzz..I never thought I had a addiction issue when I was able to use and walk away..BUT It all starts here..Belive it took me 56 years to see it..So I am just concerned that you might not see this as a issue but it can turn the brain into addiction...Escaping from one self is why we used or even just to party but it gets really bad..I hope you think about it...I wish you. well.....
Based on what you say, I'm not sure you're craving but you're thinking about the end result of taking pills/drugs and you're obsessing a bit so there's something going on in your head that's questionable...Do you spend a lot of time alone and/or not busy?
I like that you threw out the pipe...I think having the friends over is great but "smoking" in,front of you and in your house is risky for you...I would think.
I don't know...I'm not an expert,except of myself, but I think you're setting yourself up for relapse. You're still early in your sobriety so you will feel anxiety about different things...it may be better not to test yourself...
really the only thing i do is smoke weed. i take shrooms or lsd maybe once or twice in a year i like to trip every once in a while i cant deal with all that brain scrablings. one or two brain scrablings a year are good for me. i understand fully that i was addicted. i watched myself the whole time just getting worse and worse untill i went through that first w/d. then i said no more. im the kind of person that doesnt drink because of one reason.. i hate the sickness and spinning you get that alone makes me not want to drink. i remember how things feel i know conciquiences very well. and i know what will happen if i keep taking those stupid pills.
i dont really spend much time by myself
Hi Ok..But you still want to do the mushrooms and lsd once in awhile right..1 or 2 times a year????
i dont even know where to get any opiates anymore ill just stick to spending time with my girlfriend and if i feel like im going to go get one or try to find some ill just go spend time with her or draw or paint or play my mandolin.
yeah sometimes mainly mushrooms dont really do much lsd
and like i said its more of an event type deal like i dont just say hey i want some shrooms.. ill take them while at a music festival. i would be fine with just smoking weed for the rest of my life. if that ill prolly stop smoking weed to once i get a family
Ok You do what you want to do..Just be safe my friend...I just sat here today and thought about my life..I did not think any of it as a issue..But now that I am tuned into my behavior and why I ran to use just floors me today...It is so hard for me not to just do it..I know I can not..Using anything at all will just start the Pleasure part of the brain..Survival part..It likes to play the I feel good tape over and over..Just one..Just a little bit of this drug or that drug or maybe one drink..It is the Hardest and the most f*** thing I have to do..But it is my life and I do not want to die...I wish you well..Please be careful..We do not know what we are buying when we get it off the streets..OK..
very true i think the drug use part of my life is comming to an end i dont want to try new things iv read about ALLL kinds of drugs and there effects i find weed to be a pretty safe drug anything beyond that is unsafe in my mind sept shrooms because shrooms are theriputicle! =)
I am in the process of getting benzo's and opioids out of my life. I read this discussion and, while I suppose it is not therapeutic to encourage a person to take drugs, I can appreciate your attraction to psychedelics. I used LSD and mushrooms from 1969 - 1989 and enjoyed them thoroughly. I think the desire to enter a transcendent, spiritual state is very different than wanting to smother yourself in narcotics. Honestly, if I had a connection, and I knew the product was safe, I'd want to do it 4X per year. But, it is unlikely I will ever have the experience again. Believe it or not, I find myself in a mild altered state of mind when I meditate. Hemi-Sync CD's seem to help enter Theta. Good luck.