Maintaining Control...

[MikeInFrance]

I am definately in control of my feelings and actions now. If I don't feed any negativity to myself then none can grow. Vigilance is key! With that said... Is it better to confront situations head-on (as I am so used to doing) or steer clear from them if they present even the most minute possibility of facing something I may not want to?

[MikeInFrance]

Nice snake!   I always say it too.... About myself and to others....it has to be about YOU first. how can I be of any use to myself or anyone if I'm actively using? I can't be. And I know some might say I am too hard sometimes in posts but I tell it like I feel it...and I will NEVER give advice that I wouldn't be ready to take myself in the same situation.  I'm not trying to make a name for myself here or stick out in the group....I just want to stay clean! And everytime I see someone fall back a step I think "dam...i am nowhere near out of the woods like I thought." I'm  an avid chess player and so i hate the fact that there is no endgame here. But this is isn't a game either!

[snakejones]

Hi, Mike!
I always love to read your new posts---you bring up a lot of things that are relevant and useful to everyone. Today's topic is one of them.
One of the things I like about you is your forthrightness. Everyone here knows exactly where you stand on an issue. Forthrightness is a form of truth, and Truth is a daughter of God. (LOL, here we go again giving gender to inanimate objects and concepts---but you also say Stress is a male entity!)
Anyway, forthrightness is one thing---however, newly-clean addicts are quite fragile, physically and mentally, you included, and must be as jealously guarded and protected as a newborn baby. I'm sure you've already seen accounts of people at this forum breaking down and using because they got so stressed and overwhelmed. Sometimes it's inescapable, but many times it can be avoided. You are strong, but you are also going through a life-changing experience full of highs and lows independent of the routine stresses of everyday life. As I wrote last night, newly-clean addicts must be selfish. It's not a mattter of being childish, willful, or spoiled---your very life can depend on how you protect yourself, especially in the first year. If you were my little brother, I'd suggest that you keep all avoidable stress at bay. Everyday life presents enough of it to keep you sharp and engaged. Don't add to it for now. Have a great rest of your day!

[MikeInFrance]

Much appreciated so thanks for what u wrote at the end! ;)   Stress finds me no matter where I am. Whether in the form of a phonecall, mail, over a meal, any conversation, whatever .... Stress will always be there or have the potential to be.  It's like Stress' name stays on the guest list. Sometimes he shows up and other times he's too busy stressing someone else to make it.  But I get what u mean... There are certain situations where he's there before me just waiting and those need to be avoided of possible.

[bewitched_queen]

Mike I think everyone is different on how they handle negative, stressful situations. I've always been like you, face it head on. But, I am not my "normal, strong" self right now. I have made the choice to face only what I can and to avoid any and all stressful situations that could lead me to using again. I also used what you did, along with oxycontin, ms contin, kadian, norco..  pretty much if it was an opiate and stood still long enough for me to grab it, it was snorted or swallowed. I have found that I associate some types of stress with getting blitzed. Those are the stresses I'm avoiding like the plague. But only until I'm stronger. The problem may still be there but my desire to use will be diminished by the time I know I'm ready to handle the problem. If there's any certain stressors you have that you closely associate with using, I would avoid them until you feel stronger or no longer associate it with using. Just my way to cope. You are an awesome role model here.

[MikeInFrance]

Thanks,as always,Miss Bama!  To me, It's like drinking alcohol...if you drink too much and get behind the wheel and, and, and, ... U r still responsible and held accountable for your actions by others and we need to hold ourselves accountable for the decisions we make as well. It's us who decided to abuse and more importantly it's us who decided to stop. People can continue that cycle or stop making those poor, "weak at the moment" decisions that throw us back into hellll! I had my dance with the devil but now the music is mute.

[bama88]

good for you mike....i am glad you understand what i was saying the other day....we get so out of control when were abusing...yet we were always in control of our actions all along...I've followed your story from day one and watched you find yourself along rhe way....im so proud of you. and i always like your positive attitude....and because i did the same opiates as you....i will tell you you will only feel better about yourself each day from here...now everyday isn't going to be a great day...but know life we know that everyday can't be the greatest...life has challenges. and its how we rise to the occasion and how we respond to lifescs challenges...that's what its all about.