Marijuana, benzos, E Pills, Oxycotin, oxy/hydrocodone, Lsd, and coke.

[s4i2c3k]

Im 21. Been smoking weed for about 10 years everyday like i had something to prove. Cutting back on it now. Been taking benzos for a few years..trying to stop...not so easy...probly gonna end up in rehab...I quit oxycotin and pain pills cold turkey, it was hard since i had such cheap and easy access to whatever i want. felt like **** but made it. I did e pills alot, i overdosed...all the drugs i mentioned in the title i would sometimes do them all in the same day..bad bad bad idea. almost died a couple times. cocaine i did when ever it was around...but i didnt really like it...still got hooked on it tho...i think i weaned off it by using e pills really. I stopped e pills because it was going to kill me..and im not ready to die i guess. Lsd was interesting...not for everyone thats for sure...easy to not take though. Now...benzos....seems to be the hardest...feels like ill die without them..but im taking steps to come off of them. I like hearing about people experiences with benzos...like for how long you took them and how much you took, and how you came off of them and how you feel afterwards. Anyone?

[s4i2c3k]

I took a .25 or .30 whatever last night before i went to sleep, my anxiety this morning is high, i took my prozac, im trying to not take any benzo til this afternoon, but im shaking and its really hard for me to function or do anything. i was a much more capable person on drugs, they blocked the panic attacks. Its hard to stay away from them as they seem to have done a better job than prozac. Im going crazy cause im alone, i mean i got alot of friends...or so called friends...until i got out the game...now no one calls me cause i got nothin for them,  i got a couple ppl who have been there for me since day one, but they are to far away. im trying to fight these benzos man, but its harder than stoppin anything else i have ever done, dont know why.

[s4i2c3k]

i feel like ripping open my skull and pulling brain out and trying to fix it myself. im getting sick to my stomach, i wanna take benzos, now, but i dont, this is getting pointless, i feel i should take some. my mind is racing and i dont make good judgment calls when im like this, so ...i should take a .25 i think...anyone know anyone to have a seizure from benzos?

[s4i2c3k]

i think my doctor is just mad cause i went online for info and didnt rely on him, i cant sleep my heart rate is going up and then down and then ill panic and i dont know if i should take a half mg or will a .25 keep me from having a seizure? can i last til morning?  i just want to do as little as possible without seizures... i know your not supposed to give ppl directions like that but man....doctor is sayin ill be fine, others say i can die...what the hell!? thanks for replying though

[StillLost21]

I understand your desire to get sober, however, anti depressants and benzo's are not drugs that can be stopped cold turkey. It is correct that with benzo's you can have a seizure and die so I am not quite sure why your doctor is telling you that it is safe to quit cold turkey. As for anti D's, I have seen two people stop them abruptly and they nearly lost their mind, seriously DO NOT do that. I really do not think it is safe. You really need to consult with a doctor but in the meantime you should continue taking them as the doctor told you, so whatever his prescription says, you should do.

[s4i2c3k]

I feel dizzy and vision a little blurry, im tired, im calming down a little, going to go to sleep i believe. i might try to not take any of my meds  in the morning even though i am supposed to...and my substance abuse counslor wont call me back and thats making me anxious. sorry for so many post, but its kinda fun documenting this..maybe someone knows where im coming from and it can help some how. shoulda documented myself when i did all the drugs everyday and didnt sleep for 5 days plus.

[s4i2c3k]

he told me i could quite cold turkey so im trying, but i read you can have seizures, dunno what to believe kinda freakin me out a little. but whatever...if i have a seizure i wish it would hurry up...and get this over with ****** christ chest is on fire lol

[vicki595]

Hey...you really need to get with a doctor. There's no telling what can be happening to you. It's cause for concern.

[s4i2c3k]

also really want to smoke opium, its been on my mind alot. i know it will give me sleep that i need, but im really trying to block this out of my mind

[s4i2c3k]

having severe panic attacks, left arm numbness, shooting pains from my left chest into my neck and up to my left ear, still havnt took anything else. really thinking about it...can i have a seizure? did i stop to quickly?

[s4i2c3k]

Today i actually have only takin half a mg of clonazapam and i didnt take my prozac today, since the doc said i could take it every other day, and i feel fine really. My normal dosage of benzos is about 1.5 - 2mgs a day, so i guess this is good right? after a few days i want to stop it all together if i still feel this good...but the day isnt over so ill see as time passes i guess.

[s4i2c3k]

Im just throwing this out there...but i used to wake up still tripping, start smoking, eat benzos, smoke, eat x, smoke, go to work, eat x and smoke at lunch, go home,smoke and work on an oc 80 and some percs, smoke, benzo, smoke, then its time to sleep, so my ******* would eat an e pill...or 10... the good ones not the garbage ones, try to smoke some tar to get some sleep. i dont know why im not dead. i would wake up to cops shining lights in my eyes with my pulse way down, throwing up, cold sweats, its def. a learning experience, considering i wasnt suicidal...is def. tought me a lesson.

[s4i2c3k]

whats your plan?

[s4i2c3k]

My plan is to be SOBER. off everything. I understand what your saying, ive been doing that for a long time. Really i couldnt tell you for sure if ive been sober from everything for a period of time, but since i cant recall i just assume i have never been fully sober since i was little.  I would like to get to where i smoke once in awhile...maybe maxed 3 times a week....its more of a spirtual thing with me...im still bias to anything natural, but at the same time i want to know i can go without anything. so once i can come off the benzos and prozac and ive already cut my weed back a great deal, im going to go a period(unset time) without anything at all, then maybe smoke once in awhile. i know ppl say that relapsing and what not, but thats my plan, to see the world with no drugs altering my mind what so ever, and on an occasion smoke weed. sometimes i feel that after being a few days without the weed i dont even want it anymore anyways. i notice alot of stress is gone when i smoke at a responsable time rather than ALL the time anyways. but yeah thats my plan.

[StillLost21]

Hey, so today you've taken some benzos and smoked some weed, what my point was, is can you be sober from everything at once, because i did the switchin around drugs and sober off one thing, but still taking other things for a while and what i learned is you might say your sober off one thing, but your brain doesnt differntiate it just knows it's being given something, so being sober off of one thing vs everything is a huge difference to your brain, if that makes sense. Is your plan to get sober off everything (not including the anti depressants i mean) Or are you going to keep smoking weed, or what is your plan here?

[s4i2c3k]

Yeah i knew that while i was typing all of it. good lookin out though!

[vicki595]

Okay...you sound fine now.  The other post above kind of ran on..so I was concerned for you.  :)

V.

[s4i2c3k]

like anyone let me know if im not making sense... makes me feel crazy if i cant get my point across. leads to a panic attack you know? see...thats that weak minded part coming in. im sort of talking to myself at this point.

[s4i2c3k]

20mg prozac and 1.5mg clonozapam. or how ever its spelled. i smoked a little bit of weed also. i had a long day, im super tired, and i know ive been rambling and making run on sentences and on top of that i have abstract ways of thinking. i think what i said makes sense....if it doesnt let me know.

[vicki595]

Hey~  Can I ask you :   What drugs have taken today?          It could be me but you're not making a whole lot of sense....................

[s4i2c3k]

Thats like some old wise man stuff, your right, but i hate being under a medicated controlled by someon else state of being, makes me feel insane. I have made up my mind that if i am not making the improvements i need to be making, or i slip and use saftey pills im going to rehab, im really wishin my substance abuse lady would call...but i dont think they care...seems like they just do their job sometimes. whatever as long as its good information.

[IBKleen]

Just remember when you think you can do this on your own---Your best thinking got you here.

Good luck. Let us know how you make out.

[s4i2c3k]

I have gone about a week without anything at all but that was years ago, my doctor said i could start my prozak every other day plus its only a 20mg, so it wont be hard to come off of. my doc says i can stop my benzos cold turkey just quite no weaning or nothing, i say thats bs so im just weanin my self off, i got a substance abuse counsler now....just waiting for her to call...i think i can do this without rehab, i have been without the weed no problem for many days at a time...but not the benzos....but ill get that takin care of...and get to where i need nothing at all. my addiction will never go away, i still want to party like i always have, and i have such easy and cheap access its hard not to work that to my personal gain, but i just channel that addiction to something else that will pay off, in a way drugs cant. I honestly wanted rehab or jail time or something...because i felt i needed it...but i dont do well being controlled by government run organizations, since i have alot of people to learn lessons from and have a few they are helping me...i think i can do this without rehab. i want to be sober more than anything, so i can unleash myself and see what i can really be. havnt been sober except when i was dying sick...since 11 or so, i really wanna change that and im close enough to just try it without rehab. yeah i repeated myself alot.   i find the natural drugs/highs/ are hardest to quit...cause it seems like thats why they are there in the first place...but all this other bs the government makes...dont need it...i want it gone...and no rehab. though if it works for you i say do it, ive been on the ground dying from withdrawls and overdoses and wished to almighty god i was in some time of rehab to help me, but i didnt, so i dont really knock off points for anyone going to rehab...just dont think i need it. yep.  everyone on this site is awesome...keep up the support.

[StillLost21]

It's really impressive that you were able to stop doing painkillers so easily. The thing is, it's really good that you are taking less drugs, but have you ever gone a period without any drugs? The reason I ask, is because for me, I took lots of combinations of drugs too, opiates were my main thing, but i'd still take coke, ecstacy, xanax, alcohol, and whatever else was around. I would stop taking some of them, opiates and coke say, but i'd still drink or take xanax or adderall or something on a daily basis. So even though I stopped one, I was still taking other things everyday, so my head could justify that it still had something. The addiction was still completely alive, just I was swapping it around with different drugs. So it's totally possible you still need to go to rehab, because even though now you aretaking fewer drugs, just the xanax, weed, and one other ( i forgot what the third was) than what you were taking before, you're still taking something. You still have some form of substance crutch for your brain. If you are able to get off the xanax and weed and are completely sober for once, you might run into a lot of trouble staying off drugs. That's why it would be good to be in a rehab. Even though you're taking less, your brain has still been trained to function through the use of drugs, whether it's all 6 at once, or cut back to just 3, as far as your brain is concerned it doesn't differentiate that, it just knows that you are giving it something to work. So now you have to retrain your head and body to live and function and produce the natural nuerotransmitterswithout drugs, and that's probably where the rehab would be come in.

[s4i2c3k]

I just get so mad that im on drugs that its like a rage, its like im trying fight something i cant beat. kinda frustrating.  I just want off so bad and im scared all they will do is give me more.