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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Mental Cravings?

Hey all....first time posting.

This is my 12th day cold turkey from oxycodone and hydrocodone. Been taking pills for the last 2 years daily. I know its dancing with the devil, and I still did it anyways. Never gone above 5-6 percs or vics daily. Have quit for a week or so, once or twice, but 12 days is the longest I have gone. The first 3 days were hell and then the next 7 or 8 days were smooth. Then today, the mental cravings are very tough. I know I could call up my connection, but I just can't. I know I am riding the fine line and if I cross it, I will fall deeper and deeper into addiction.

I don't want to keep going down this path. Any advice in beating the mental cravings?

I can't give in this time. I have been very aware of the dangerous path I have been walking.
42 Responses
Avatar universal
I don't yet....but please be let me know how you do it, because I'm on day 8 with no percs, and 6 of withdrawls and they were the worst physical pains of my life.  Be tough, Hopefully it'll pass in a few minutes.  I'm scared too....
340590 tn?1290955741
congrats on your 12 days that is awesome.  for the cravings you just stay busy keep your mind occpied with other things.  you could try n/a to learn how to reprogram your thinkin.  keep postin, this site becomes you addiction lol.  welocme to the forum.
cathy
Avatar universal
I have a feeling our mental cravings will alway be there.
Avatar universal
Thanks Cathy.

I am the only one aware of my addiction. My wife has no idea, nor does anyone else. It's a tough secret to keep.
340590 tn?1290955741
yes it is hard to go it alone.  we are lean on us when rough, there is always someone here to help.
cathy
Avatar universal
I quit cold turkey too-wow, I say it was a mistake, but if I had weaned-well let's be honest, I wouldn't have, if I'd gotten on some other drug like methodone I might never have known really how horrible this drug was to me.  I had no desire to pop a pill yet.  Not one, but it vaguely crossed my mind a few minutes ago and I'm like HOW?  After all this?  I mean, I'm going to counseling for what I just went through, I missed work for 2 1/2 days, told my boss the truth, thought I would die, and my effed up brain might want a pill?  That's SICK!
Avatar universal
My husband didn't know either until I told him.  Once you tell someone you can't ignore it anymore.  I really think for some reason I had extreme withdrawls.  I mean, you name it, I had it....ALL.  It was near death.  Or so I though, anyways.
390416 tn?1275188687
Congrats on 12 days...that is AWESOME.

getting clean is the easy part...staying clean is the hard part.

I think aftercare is the most important part of staying clean...if you don't hav e agame plan, your chances of relapse are high.
Avatar universal
Yep, it certainly is twisted.

I quit on my 36th birthday 12 days ago. What a B-Day present. Felt like the worst flu. Had to go into work and could not miss any days. Getting out of bed seemed like the hardest thing in the world. Then that went away and I actually felt good for a week and even went for hours without thinking of a pill.

Then today I was at work and it hit me and I can't get the percs off the brain. My mouth is actually salivating at the thought of it (BTW is that common?) I can't give in over the weekend.
Avatar universal
Yes, THE worst flu ever.  Only I had this 10 day migraine last year (which is where my perc addiction began) and I thought that was the worst pain in my life.  Friday my ENTIRE body ached in a way I never knew possible, the the flu symptoms, then chills, fever, I had horrid visions of evil faces, sobbing (I'm an emotional woman) etc.  I lost 10 pounds since Friday.  I kid you not.  Oh God, I fear the time when I crave them, I know I will, just when.  It already faintly crossed my mind and I wanted to slap myself, I was miserable like about to have a breakdown until 2 pm yesterday how could I want those.?  Man, DON'T give in over the weekend.  Just make it through the weekend.  Do you have meetings in your area?
Avatar universal
Thanks....my game plan is to separate myself from temptation. I am going to stay away from those who supplied me.

My therapy has been reading these boards and realizing just how many people share the same problem as I have.
390416 tn?1275188687
oops, it posted and i wasn't finished.....

Some suggestions for aftercare(recovery) are ...attend NA mtgs., see a counselor or an addiction counselor..keep posting on here..we need to get to the core issues of WHY we used the drugs to make us" feel better" (emotionally)...
anyway i think it is IMPORTANT to address these issues...
good luck to all...keep posting!!!!
Avatar universal
There probably are meetings in my area, but I am going to go this alone......with the help of all you good people.
390416 tn?1275188687
Sometimes separating yourself isn't enough......have you thought about what you will do if the supplier runs into you somewhere...or calls you up?

This disease is CUNNING,BAFFLING, ad POWERFUL...and it will kick your a** when you least expect it!
Avatar universal
I haven't been to a meeting in years, and never for pills.,  It was never my drug of choice.  But, here I am.  Going back tomorrow night to a meeting.  (as I shake my head).
It was really traumatic for me.  I didn't know about these forums until after my crash.  My little gurdian angel who held my hand through my crash told me about these websites.  I need more support than what I'll get at home....
Avatar universal
Funny thing is....my wife is an drug/alcohol counselor.

As for the root of why I use.....I am not sure. I was always convinced that I just liked getting buzzed up and having a good time. But there has to be an underlying reason other than just enjoying the feeling of getting bombed.


Avatar universal
I have thought of what would happen if/when my supplier calls up.

I just have to stay strong. I am tired of going to whacked out and dangerous places to feed my addiction. It's amazing the places you will go and the chances you will take to get your fix.
390416 tn?1275188687
Pills weren't my doc either...i'm a recovering alcoholic and was sober for 15 yrs..then I took one pill here , one pilll there,(it wasn' t going to hurt me, I never had a problem with pills)and now I'm here and a recovering drug addict.....
I knew better and I wasn't going to "get addicted."..I was just replacin gone mood altering substance w/another....back on the merry-go-round...
Avatar universal
I should add that I got introduced to percs because of kidney stones. I get a stone every few months. Have had kidney stones for about 12 years, but it was only the last 2 years that I started using every day.
390416 tn?1275188687
I understand...I loved that buzz..but after awhile the buzz was just never the same, and I ws using just to get thru the day...

It's crazy, isn'***???????


HA777, did your wife know you were usssing???
Avatar universal
It just sucks.  My hook up wasn't a dangerous place...it was flippin Walgreen's.  I should've known with my history I'd get addicted, but I just figured the Dr's would stop giving them to me and it'd be done....well, I finally just said screw it I'm not going to the doctor, I'm quitting.  That's the thing too, The hubby was like here smoke some pot, it'll help, I don't want too be a pothead anymore.  I did that.  For YEARS!  I've binged on coke.  I've been a meth head.  But that was all illegal street drugs.  This was ligitimate drugs for legitimate pain that got outt hand and here I am.  I've gone straight to the Dr's this week and told them straight up what happend-I'm withdrawing because I got hooked.  So it's documented.  I won't get anymore. But i could.  I've got insurance that would aallow me to go to any doctor anywhere.  THAT's scary.  But, I'm not going there.
Avatar universal
I agree...after a while I was just using to feel 'normal'.

But that buzz is something else.

My wife knows I took percs when I had kidney stones. I may get a script for 30 every 2 or 3 months....once those are gone, she thinks I am done with them.

390416 tn?1275188687
One day at a time...that's all we can do.....
Avatar universal
Glad I don't have a script with refills.

That would be tough. Of course hopping in your car and going to the hood to buy percs at 4 or 5 bucks a pop is no fun....and freaking expensive.
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