Hey all. Glad i found this place. Don't really have anyone to talk to about all this nonsense. I'll give you a bit of back story first, to give you a better understanding of where i am at.
I was a heroin user from the age of 19 to about 23. Since then i have been on methadone. I am 28 now. At my highest i was on 120mls daily, and am currently on 30mls daily. I have been into a detox place in a mental hospital before when i was on 60mls of meth. I found the withdrawels incredibly intense, but with the help of this drug for which is primiarly used for lowering blood pressure, i was able to get through that.
I got home, and was clean for about a month and a half. The cravings had gone. But i was left with a depression like i've never known, and my body feeling like it had no energy to breathe, let alone get on with daily life. I was having pains in my legs, and body as though something was pushing its way out of the middle of my bones, and unbearable intense pins and needles. They got too much when these tablets ran out, and as you are only allowed to take them for a certain ammount of time, i was not given anymore and cracked like a fool and started smoking gear again.
I knew i messed up bad pretty quick, and was really pissed. I ended back on methadone, and have got down to 30omls now. But it has been getting really hard the last few times i've dropped, and i am terrified of this depression and intense pains that had no end starting agaIn.
I have heard a few people say that when you have been on methadone for a long time, it is a very long withdrawel, maybe lasting a year to start feeling right.
I am not sure how i can handle going this long feeling so bad. Especially as all my family apart from my mrs think i've been clean since i went to the detox 2 years ago.
I've been thinking about getting onto subutex, and was thinking as it's a different drug, if i came down quickly, i wouldn't get the same withdrawels as from methadone. Is that true?
I'd love to hear from people who have beaten this dam drug. I really feel it ruins my quality of life. Makes me feel depressed, have no motivation, and basically not want to bother with life in general. But i fear i've been on it so long, coming off it will make me even worse for months on end.
Has anyone else been on it for years like this and done the withdrawel and are clean now? How did you find it, and what would you suggest to make it easier? Are subutex better? Or should i keep trying to come down slowly on the methadone?
Thanks for any help. Cheers Db4D