Let me give you a short background. I am 52 years old.
In 1988, I went to work as a custodian at a Post Office in Michigan. Everything I did was physical labor. In the winter, I worked 3rd shift, which meant shoveling lake effect snow everynight. During this time I also broke my tailbone twice, nothing they can do for that but live with it. In 1999 I moved to Iowa, and got a job at Target, unloading the truck and stocking shelves, a lot of lifting, twisting, turning and abusing my back in general.
In 2005, i started having horrendous back pain. So bad, i could only walk short distances, and was unable to do my job. I went to the ER, they said it was sciatica, gave me vicodin and said I should be alright in a couple days. (I wasn"t) But I continued to try to work. I tried a chiropractor, i didn't have insurance, he said there was nothing he could do for me. I was getting worse.
I made an appointment at the VA, I have had every test imaginable, and every diagnosis was different, one doctor just plainly said, for 17 years I abused my back, and it is just worn out.
I started off on Tylenol 3, moved up to vicodin, then oxycodone, and finally something that worked, Methadone. I started out on 10mg twice a day, one in the morning, and one at bedtime. I loved it, I could actually walk again. This summer my dr. cut me down to 10 mg once a day, half&half, next perscription it was half a pill once a day, then they cut it down to one fourth twice a day, and this is my last perscription. To make matters worse, I called the VA to request the Methadone, 10 days ahead of time like I had been doing, it usually takes 3 or 4 days to get here. After 7 days and it not being here, I called again, my paperwork was lost they will re-submit it. By this time I am out of pills, and the pain is back to square one. I finally called my caseworker, and they found out that, it was waiting in the pharmacy. We are broke, and cannot afford gas to drive the 75 miles to the VA, finally they FedEX it. I got it on a Friday.
In the meantime on Thursday Night i started withdrawl, I had never felt like that before, i couldn't sit still, I couldn't lay, and I felt like every nerve was trying to pop out through my pores. I did not want anybody to touch me. I paced from 5 p.m to 5 a.m, after i had taken 2 sleeping pills and a xanax around 10:00.
I have 15 days of pills left and am scared that I will go through withdrawl again.
I was sent to the pain clinic, I had been there 3 times. !st time they gave me oxycodone, 2nd time, the dr was a resident, it was his last day, he was off to California, and literally told me, I am not even bother examing you, personally today, I don't give a damn about anything, I am justing biding my time till I can go home. The 3rd doctor was actually worse, he sat at his computer, never said anything to me, didn't ask any questions, told me to walk to the door and back, and informed me, that there is no organic reason for my pain, to see a psychatrist, and take a Tylenol.
Right now I am in pain, my back hurts like hell, I might as well get me a bag of Smarties, and take those, for all the low dosage of methadone is doing.
I have no idea what is going to happen next. I wake everytime I move at night. I am getting 2 hours of sleep at a time.
Anybody out there that can help me through the next two weeks?