Methadone withdrawal DAY 5...

[dutchcrunch]

I have been on methadone since 1997 w/ a year break in 2003. But I have been on methadone for 10 years straight now, starting at 80mg in the beginning slowly going down over the years to 17mg. I picked up my last 6 take homes from the clinic I transferred to & told them I would not be back. I broke those (6) 17mg doses into 18 doses of approx. 5.5mg each then on the last 5.5mg bottle I had I filled it w/ water & took 2mg/day for about 1 week. Surprisingly the watered down 2mg dose did not bring on much withdrawal to speak of, so I quit exactly 5 days ago. The first day was so/so the 2nd & 3rd were basically where I entered Dantes Inferno, I think I am currently in level 7 of this inferno on day 5. The worst is the insufferable insomnia, restless legs & cramps (my stomach currently feels like it has been tied into some maniacal fishermens knot). I have been taking valerian root extract to help sleep witch works for about 20 mins. I have also tried Unisom which only worked on night #1, useless now. I also have some clonipin (my wifes script) but that only seems to give me a hell of a hangover the next day, so I have quit using that too. Amazingly, I actually fell asleep on the couch today for about 2 hours, but of course the phone had to ring which promptly woke me up. I had a small appetite this a.m. for the first time in 5 days &  I ate an egg & 1 piece of toast (lightly buttered), which settled into my stomach, again, surprisingly. This is not the first time I  have done this so I know I can expect at least another 8 days before I can look forward to any considerable sleep. Man, I hope there are people on here that feel better than me & can offer some words of encouragement...w/ my stomach knotted, thanks for listening....Dutch

[dutchcrunch]

Day 90 today no methadone! Woohoo. Everyday is better, & the sun is shining today. This is going to be a good day. I am pretty much 100%. All of the w/d symptoms r gone , I'm happy & content. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if anyone else is going through m/d w/d, just trudge on through it WILL GET BETTER!...D

[Petrred]

Day 5 for me feel great or should I say 90% normal no withdrawals at all yet after 7 years dosed down over past year to 5mg..

[Dryan8313]

Yay!!! Thanks so much for checking in :)
Soooo happy to hear you're feeling great!! Your journey definitely gives me hope and motivation.
Congrats on day 90!!!!

[gnarly_1]

Hey Dutch im so happy your almost threw this good to see you good to see you clean 84 days rocks it is hard to be pacent but if you are the days get better and the nights come with sleep the energy crash starts to  let up and your on the road to recovery im so happy for you I get a lot more back then I put out.... im humbled by all the people I work with you guys/galls are a huge part of my recovery  ''because you cant keep it unless you give it away'' keep posting for support .............................................Gnarly............................................

[dutchcrunch]

Day 84, feeling waaaay better.im sleeping 7-8 hrs a night sometimes longer! The depression is gone & my energy is picking up. I guess my brain is starting to finally do its thing. This has been one hell of a roller coaster but I'm doing it one day at a time w/out methadone! By far the most difficult thing I have ever done, but well worth it. Methadone is bad stuff & I'm glad my 15 year space orbit is over & I'm safely back on earth. Will post on day 90 to celebrate I'm taking my wife out for date night, dinner & a movie on day 90! Thanks to all of u kind people, & a special shot out to gnarly, for all of the pro tips!...Dutch

[gnarly_1]

Hi Dutch god to see you post what your feeling is a lot like I did the friggin energy crash is hard to get around and it last so long  keep pushing the whey protein shakes they help bot the brain and body I remember telling my drug counselor that I should be farther along then I was at 60 day  forme I really started to notice improvement around 90 day so your more then 1/2 way there just keep pushing threw I made it and so will you keep posting we have several methadoinans on the forum right now good luck and God bless..........Gnarly

[dutchcrunch]

Well its day 54, haven't checked in for a while bcuz its been about the same. Its still slowly getting better, the blah feeling still lingers but the days are going quicker & I stopped taking the klonopin for sleep 5 days ago, & I've been sleeping ok, about 4 hours then I wake up, toss & turn & either I am able to go back to sleep for a couple of hours or I get up. My energy level is still fairly low, get tired easily, but I'm pretty close to 2 months along. Really am blown away at how long this detox is taking. Emotions are still up & down. I am doing this though & can't wait till I'm 100...D

[dutchcrunch]

Thanks gnarly & Vic, I've actually turned a corner, the last day or 2 I've felt emotionally alot better, the mornings are mostly blah but by noon, I start actually feeling sorta happy, I think the aminos are doing there job. I've been taking the spirutein/ whey shake for about 3 weeks now and maybe its working? My wife actually has alot of patience w/ me she went through it w/ me back in 2003 when I kicked m/d so she was prepared for this & has helped me tremendously. I can sense that I am getting better by my mood sorta stabilizing I hope..the waves come through still, I just let them roll on through. I'm glad to know that you 2 guys have done it successfully so I am going to get through this as well...thanks again, ....D

[VICourageous]

Hi Guy..From one Doner to another..It does take time for ALL the Chems, Receptors and Neurotransmitter to balance back. The weakness lasted a bit longer then when I came off the other opiates. Methadone does not like to let go to easy..BUT like with ANY DRUG it just takes TIME..Have some patience and this all will balance out..Go with the Flow (sorta of speaking). You will be fine in time. Trust us all on here..We thought the day would never come..I wish you peace and serenity. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids to help flush out the poisons..Good vit/min too..Diet and exercise is a big one..Keep Trucking forward.
Bless

[gnarly_1]

Hi Dutch  as you can tell by now methadone detox takes a wile and it will keep coming in waves just know that you will recover I know it can seem hopeless when you dont have the energy to go grocery shopping if your wife needs some help understanding this im sure my wife can talk to her threw the messenger so it will be private im sure she is wondering if your ever going to beat this thing trust me you will beat this thing it just take time oo and your question I was on it almost 7 rs at 150mg for most of that time so i know just how your feeling when I read your posts keep posting let me know if your wife would like to speak to mine we can set that up for her keep the faith...........................Gnarly...............................

[dutchcrunch]

Yeah dryan I've been considering some sort of anti depressant but the research I've done, most say to wait 90 days (if u can??) b4 starting a/d bcuz ur brain needs time to start making dopamine naturally, which in turn will make u happy. I do exercise, some, go for walks, but my energy is so low that even going grocery shopping w/ my wife yesterday , kicked my ***. I have been playing my guitar alot lately which takes my mind off of how I'm feeling, I do have periods of "hey, wow, I feel happy!" but it def comes in waves mostly blah but periods of happiness thrown in now & again, so I'm hoping that's a sign of how things will get to. I know the feeling of being scared to quit, man I wrote the book on it..i just got to a point where I felt emotionally strong enough & the want to be chained to m/d was gone & the desire to be free weighed more on me than drinking another bottle of m/d..u can get there, just takes time & more time...keep ur chin up....D

[Dryan8313]

I know that "blah" feeling all too well! I feel it everyday and I'm still on m/d. I sometimes wonder if I'm just prolonging my misery by NOT just jumping off like you did. However, I don't think I'd be strong enough to do that. I'm such a baby when it comes to w/d. I can barely make it til 9am before I HAVE to take my dose, because I start mild WD every night around 10pm. OTC sleep aids are still working for me (thank god cuz it's the only way I can sleep at night).

I know excersize is so important and maybe if I was more active throughout the day, I could actually sleep at night without having to take something! But it's sooo hard to get myself motivated. Especially since I feel like sh$t every morning!
Have you been forcing yourself to be active at all during the day?
I wouldn't get so down on yourself for taking klonopin at night. You obviously still need it and it doesn't sound like you're taking a large dose. You've already come so far!!! 41 days is fricken awesome!!! I've read thru a lot of success journeys and it sounds like it can take months for the insomnia to go away after m/d.
Have you considered therapy at all for depression? Or an anti depressant med? Maybe it could help?
Methadone is probably the hardest thing to come off of and you've already made it through the worst of the physical pain. You may have to start some kind of therapy to get thru the mental anguish now.
Hang in there and keep posting! You and gnarly BOTH give me hope and inspiration!!!

[dutchcrunch]

Thanks gnarly,yeah I've been taking spirutein w/ Whey which has all the aminos..i take it for breakfast, mix it w/ milk,actually tastes pretty good. The WalMart brand is 1/2 the price so ill def. Get some of that..how long were u on methadone? I'm glad u got off of it successfully, gives me hope..thanks gnarly...D

[gnarly_1]

Hang in there Dutch things wll get better but it  does take time what you got going on now is the ''energy crash'' and that can hang for a wile just be gretful  that your clean...ever day you go you get closer to the prize  i might add get up to walmart and pick up the whey protein mix  it is full of the amino acids as well as much needed proven it is only 15 bucks for a 2lb can it will give your brain what it needs to heal keep posting for support we all want to see you get well............Gnarly

[dutchcrunch]

Well its day 40...insomnia still here, I hate having to take .5mg klonopin at night to sleep but it seems to be the only thing that (a) puts me to sleep for 6 or 7 hrs & (b) doesn't give me a gnarly hangover the next day. I'm feeling pretty depressed, no want or desire to do much,the things that normally make me happy are just, blah now. I think I did too much research on long term methadone use & what it does to ur brain, its frightening that I may feel this way for quite some time. I had in my head that in 30 days I would be straight, now its looking more like at least 90 days..has anybody used st johns wart if so does it work?? If I knew it would be this long & I would still be bummed out I prolly would not have jumped, but I did & my options now are limited. M/d messed me up good, I just hope not permanently ....D

[gnarly_1]

Hey Dutch  good to see your doing well that stuff can linger around for a wile  my recovery took around 90 days to really start to sleep and get ride of the energy crash so your doing really well just take it one day at a time good luck and God bless.......Gnarly

[dutchcrunch]

Hey dryan ,its day 37 & everyday I am a little better. The symptom that is lingering is insomnia which I take a .5mg klonopin at night b4 bed that gives me about 7 hours of decent sleep. A tad groggy in the morning that wears off around noon. My energy is still rather low but gaining steam. Doing a very slow taper is smart. I did a slow taper 11 years ago down to 1mg & then jumped & the w/d symptoms only lasted about a month. You can do it, I did it..TWICE!!..hopefully for the last time. M/d kept me in a consistently pretty good mood, dealing w/ the waves of emotions can be trying at times, but I just take it as my brain rewiring itself...still truckin' ...D

[Dryan8313]

Hey Dutch- I've been keeping track of your journey and just wanted to check in with ya to see how you're doing?
I'm doing a taper right now. Been on methadone for 8+ years. I was at 105mg and am down to 18mg today! I'm starting a 1mg per week decrease (I was doing a 5mg decrease every week til I hit 40mg, then -3, -2 and today I decided to drop only 1mg. I go down every Friday and will continue that until I'm done!
Dropping last week from 21mg down to 19 has been the toughest drop so far but I'm hanging in there and going to continue my decreases!
Your story/journey is inspiring so I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience in detail!
Hope you're still doing well...please keep checking in!!
Dee

[dutchcrunch]

Day 33, feeling much better..actually went out to lunch w/ my wife yesterday. Still some waves but not as bad. I think my recovery has sped up, bcuz I have consistently felt better everyday day since day 30, 2 days but I do feel alot more alert, happy, & my energy is making a comeback too. Most all of the terrible symptoms are pretty much gone except for a little restlessness at night, which I took a .5 mg klonipin for last night, I don't think I will need tonight. Still taking spirutein protein/amino shakes daily, which give me good healthy energy in the a.m...my mood is much better since I quit the melatonin, I think that was giving me such a gnarly hangover that it was bumming me out all day. I'm thinking about the future & my plans for the spring which I had not thought of in over 30 days. METHADONE w/d is a beast & the last 32 days have literally been like a trip through purgatory, technically 30 days ,the last 2 have been good. For anyone thinking about jumping off at a high dose, I don't recommend it. I jumped at 17mg & baaaaaarely made it. Do a nice long taper down to 5mg or less, u will thank urself later. I am m/d free & my body is really thanking me now,i could go into all of the graphic details about what starts acting normal again but I'm sure u all know what I'm talking about..thanks for helping through hell...Dutch

[atthebeach]

Hey Dutch congrats on those 30 days. Keep on keepin on.
You are part of the elite group that has broken free from the governments cure for Heroin addiction. They sure do want you to believe that no one EVER gets off.
I am very proud of you for believing in yourself. The process of breaking free isnt easy but sure is worth it.
My husband is celebrating four years methadone free this month after being on it for ten years. The detox Is Not a pretty process by any means.
He was also using mega amounts of xanax.
Your mind, body, soul and spirit does heal.
Keep up the good work.

[Sweetness91]

Yes, you will do this, and you'll be so thankful that you did. I sure am! I had gotten to the point that I just accepted I would be on it for life...8 years is a long time. But I finally came to the realization that I hated the person I had become, and that I was the only person who could change. It affected my body very negatively. I have just now gotten back to my "pre-methadone" weight. I had lost so much weight that it was evident something was wrong with me. And I'll be honest here...it took me several months to feel good. It's just a one day at a time thing, you gotta take it as it comes and deal with it. I do believe you've gotten through the worst of it. Now it's just a matter of dealing with PAWS, keeping yourself on the right path, and aftercare if that's something you can do. I tried the drug addiction counselor and it got me into such a funk and so depressed that I just couldn't deal with it then and found I did better handling it by myself. Everyone is different I guess.

Like I said though, you're doing GREAT...keep posting for support, and keep truckin along :)

[dutchcrunch]

Thanks sweetness. I am strong & I know most people would not have been able to do these last 30 days, heck that's why they call methadone the "lifer" drug, cuz its soooooo damn hard & next to impossible to successfully get off of..i was sick of being chained to it, the weekly trips to the clinic, the damage it had done to my body, etc. The list of negatives about m/d could go on for pages. It did get me off of heroin, but I should have only been on it for a year or 2...i will do this, and I'm sure when I come out of the clouds, this will all seem line a very long, very painful nightmare....D

[Sweetness91]

Hey Dutch. After reading this thread, I just wanted to tell you that you're doing great!! I detoxed a little over a year ago at home, and let me tell ya, the first 30-45 days were terrible, and much like what you're going through. I was on here day and night, it was the one of the only things that helped me through...Gnarly is chock full of great advice. I'm pretty sure I drove everyone nuts with my constant updates and questions, but it helped me and I guess that's what matters. And here I am....a almost 400 days later...a year and a month...and I am pretty sure I would be holed up in my house still to this day if I hadn't made the decision to kick the habit. Once you get through these next few weeks, you'll find yourself feeling better and better every day, you really will. And that energy crash you're getting early in the afternoon won't come til the evening when you have had a full, productive day. And then eventually, it won't come at all...unless you just completely tire yourself out. Lol. Just keep doing what you're doing, because it looks like you have a good thing going. If I can do it, I know anyone can! Perseverance, faith, and most of all, believing in YOURSELF! Keep up the good work, it will pay off in great rewards :)

[dutchcrunch]

Well its day 30. I thought this would have been over now, but I guess those 10 solid years did there damage, & I'm going to have to suffer a while longer. I'm def better than I was, when this all started, no more constant baths (1 per day now), my stomach feels much better, no more crazy legs, appetite is getting better. Just a cloud over me now me emotionally, it does come in waves though. Sometimes I feel happy, most of the time not so much. Energy level is basically nil & the insomnia is still very much in play. Had to take a klonopin last night, but it did give me about 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Still eating good & taking all necessary vits & protein shakes w/ aminos..trying to jump start my brain, my dopamine levels won't get back to normal for sometimes a year I guess, hopefully by day 60, it will be better at least...30 days no m/d that's a milestone at least! Just can't wait til I have some decent energy, I feel like a lump on a log, or at least a lump on the couch!!lol...marching Along....D

[clean_in_ks]

Push on thru, Dutch~  The only way to get there....is to keep going~