Aa
Methadone
Can Methadone be passed/excreted through body fluids on to another person resulting in that person experencing some of the side effects of the drug?
So I know this is a very old post and im 15 years late, however, for anyone who comes across this situation and suspects that their loved one is shooting up in their neck, Yes it is very possible and can be dangerous if one hits an artery. I personally have shot up in my neck numberous times and besides the obvious danger in doing drugs, I found that holding my breathe to long can and has resulted in a blackout. If you or someone you know is using Heroin (shooting, smoking, snorting) suggest they get help or get help if you are using. I have used many different types of drugs, but opiates have been by far the most controlling , painful, addicting, and definately life changing (in a negative way) thing that I have ever endured. I am 42 and began using opiates when I was 31 , no thanks to pain management and oxy-codone. By the time I was 39 I started using Heroin because it was cheaper and that romance lasted 3 yrs to long in my eyes. My whole world was flipped upside down and shook to no end. Dont want to go off on a long comment here so im just gonna get to the point. If you or someone you love has been using Heroin or Opiates Get Help immediately ! If a loved one is using , Stand by them and love them unconditionally. And if you cant handle the situation then let them know and keep your distance. Don't insult this addict or make them feel any less of a decent human being than they probably already feel like. This addiction swallows you whole and shows no mercy ! I wish you all the very best!
I was a heroin addict for 34 years. I did shoot up in my neck when all else failed. I would say that's probley whats up with his neck. Is he suicidal since stopping ? That's pretty normal for us addicts as well. I've been clean and sober 3 years "thank god" I would have tracks on my neck and bruises as well. Just ask him is my opinion....
When I was using IV needles and I couldn't find a vein I used my neck.... It is very dangerous, but when you are desperate you'll do anything.
....listen i`m not that god with english so i want bug u much,
i`ve strted takin` tramadol year a go?
.....750mg(15 pills)every two days iz my "must take"....
....without them i feel week,i`m shakin` all tha time,when i think of stopin` i feel like cr.p!
My town iz too small,so if i ask for help,i`ll be banished out!!!
.....can anyone,anyone tell me the "less pain" way to get off,
cause i`m not in control of my life any more,and i can`t stop
cold turkey!
I understand that methadon iz heroin get off,so i dont think that name of a medicine change much?
please anyone anything!!!
?P_A!
i`ve strted takin` tramadol year a go?
.....750mg(15 pills)every two days iz my "must take"....
....without them i feel week,i`m shakin` all tha time,when i think of stopin` i feel like cr.p!
My town iz too small,so if i ask for help,i`ll be banished out!!!
.....can anyone,anyone tell me the "less pain" way to get off,
cause i`m not in control of my life any more,and i can`t stop
cold turkey!
I understand that methadon iz heroin get off,so i dont think that name of a medicine change much?
please anyone anything!!!
?P_A!
Hello! My name is cat eye's! I live in Hazard, Ky!
I want to warn each and everybody, that is addicted to Oxycotin's to please try and get help before it is too late!
I am a survival, and so is my baby. while I was pregnant with my son who will be two August 7,2001.the doctor gave me twenty of the oxycotin twenty everyweek! And By the Grace Of GOD
he is a perfect little blue eyed baby boy. I kept asking if they would hurt my baby and he said no! he never admitted to me that they were extremely addicted.Here In Hazard We have already lost about 300 people on these thing's! I went through hell getting off of them and joined a Methadone Clinic to help accomplish my addiction. I stayed in the program for a year and let me tell you it help me alot. Please if you have a problem, with the oc's I Beg you to get help, before it is too late! I don't know why I am not dead after I had the baby I went through 18,000 dollars in two months, Trust me it isn't worth it. I know my mom's prayers is the only thing that kept me alive. I begg you now before it is too late please get help. don't wait until it is too late. My heart goes out to you and anyone who suffered from these killers. Your friend Jeannie.
I want to warn each and everybody, that is addicted to Oxycotin's to please try and get help before it is too late!
I am a survival, and so is my baby. while I was pregnant with my son who will be two August 7,2001.the doctor gave me twenty of the oxycotin twenty everyweek! And By the Grace Of GOD
he is a perfect little blue eyed baby boy. I kept asking if they would hurt my baby and he said no! he never admitted to me that they were extremely addicted.Here In Hazard We have already lost about 300 people on these thing's! I went through hell getting off of them and joined a Methadone Clinic to help accomplish my addiction. I stayed in the program for a year and let me tell you it help me alot. Please if you have a problem, with the oc's I Beg you to get help, before it is too late! I don't know why I am not dead after I had the baby I went through 18,000 dollars in two months, Trust me it isn't worth it. I know my mom's prayers is the only thing that kept me alive. I begg you now before it is too late please get help. don't wait until it is too late. My heart goes out to you and anyone who suffered from these killers. Your friend Jeannie.
Thank you for your warning. I am stunned that a dr would prescribe oxycontin to a pregnant women, i don't know what to say!!!
Also, 300 people in one town, it must be a large area, that seems extremely high! There must be a ton of drs who are just giving them to everybody and anyone!!!
Even here in South Florida, Drug capital of the US (i think), the death toll isn't even that high, or maybe it is, and i've just been too busy to see all. I've heard a lot though!
Seems very odd your situation, that dr should be shot!!!!!!
Glad you made it through ok, and you life is back in your control!
:)
Jenny
Also, 300 people in one town, it must be a large area, that seems extremely high! There must be a ton of drs who are just giving them to everybody and anyone!!!
Even here in South Florida, Drug capital of the US (i think), the death toll isn't even that high, or maybe it is, and i've just been too busy to see all. I've heard a lot though!
Seems very odd your situation, that dr should be shot!!!!!!
Glad you made it through ok, and you life is back in your control!
:)
Jenny
Thank you for the boot girl, i need it bad!!!!
I'm stuggling here, and i know it, and he knows it!
He cried on the phone and begged me to clean up because he feels he is the one that got me addicted. He is the one who interduced it into the house, but i am the one who got myself addicted!
Dam this is though, i feel like i'm living in hell!
I'm trying as hard as i can to give my children the emotional support they need right now. My 8-year old daughter was having bigtime anxiety attacks tonight, i've never seen her like this. She is afraid of dieing, and she never wants me to die either. She was shaking she was so upset. She's laying on the couch right now watching Nickalodeon, she can't sleep. I think every child has these fears at one point or another during their growing up, i remember feeling this way myself at about her age. I'm just getting all worn out, and i'm trying so hard to keep everything running smooth around here, and it's taking it's toll on me, i'm pooped!!!!
I've been bringing my two daughters to work with me while my boss is in california. I always have my 1-year old, but adding the extra child to take care of, and try to work at the same time, is exhausting. I'm trying to save money on childcare because we are just about out of money.
My husband is still doing fine in rehab, he is making a lot of progress and i am very happy to hear it. I'm still in 'brace myself mode' for when the day comes that he returns home, i'm scared to death.
He even offered, when he returns, to take full responsibility for the kids, while i lay there in bed and do a cold turkey quit everything. I will do it, i have to do it!
I'm sure you guys are getting tired of listening to me say 'i'm gonna do it'!!!! Or maybe i'm just getting tired of it.
I feel like i'm so full of words, but no action, and i'm mad at myself for that!
Once the willy nillies start to set it, it's so much easier to have the magic cure to make them go away. I'm finding it hard to take care of the kids while withdrawaling, and i can't handle even the slightest thing.
I keep telling myself taper, taper, taper, but i don't see my usage going down a bit. It's not going up, but it's not going down. I'm at about 40-50 mg per day.
If anything, thank you for listening to be babble!
Lv Jenny
I'm stuggling here, and i know it, and he knows it!
He cried on the phone and begged me to clean up because he feels he is the one that got me addicted. He is the one who interduced it into the house, but i am the one who got myself addicted!
Dam this is though, i feel like i'm living in hell!
I'm trying as hard as i can to give my children the emotional support they need right now. My 8-year old daughter was having bigtime anxiety attacks tonight, i've never seen her like this. She is afraid of dieing, and she never wants me to die either. She was shaking she was so upset. She's laying on the couch right now watching Nickalodeon, she can't sleep. I think every child has these fears at one point or another during their growing up, i remember feeling this way myself at about her age. I'm just getting all worn out, and i'm trying so hard to keep everything running smooth around here, and it's taking it's toll on me, i'm pooped!!!!
I've been bringing my two daughters to work with me while my boss is in california. I always have my 1-year old, but adding the extra child to take care of, and try to work at the same time, is exhausting. I'm trying to save money on childcare because we are just about out of money.
My husband is still doing fine in rehab, he is making a lot of progress and i am very happy to hear it. I'm still in 'brace myself mode' for when the day comes that he returns home, i'm scared to death.
He even offered, when he returns, to take full responsibility for the kids, while i lay there in bed and do a cold turkey quit everything. I will do it, i have to do it!
I'm sure you guys are getting tired of listening to me say 'i'm gonna do it'!!!! Or maybe i'm just getting tired of it.
I feel like i'm so full of words, but no action, and i'm mad at myself for that!
Once the willy nillies start to set it, it's so much easier to have the magic cure to make them go away. I'm finding it hard to take care of the kids while withdrawaling, and i can't handle even the slightest thing.
I keep telling myself taper, taper, taper, but i don't see my usage going down a bit. It's not going up, but it's not going down. I'm at about 40-50 mg per day.
If anything, thank you for listening to be babble!
Lv Jenny
Get yourself to a meeting! I have two little boys, remember? You can take your kids with you, it's ok! I have to take mine. There are no absolutes in Al-anon so there's no such thing as absolutely not! You need to get yourself up and get ready for when he comes home. You have been through it before. I remember when mine came home after detox,I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Everything had to be perfect, I was so nervous I would say or do something wrong to make him upset. And you know what? Everything I said and did was wrong, he told me this, and he relapsed. He told me it was all my fault he couldn't take the stress. What he couldn't do was be responsible for himself. Be selfish here...do something for yourself! He can take care of himself. Worry about you first and then you kids. If you are not ok, they will not be ok. So you do what you know is right for you! You have my e-mail and my phone number if you need some help.......Love you sweetie....Susan.....(did you find the book?)
Sweet Cindi,
You have to be one of the sweetest, warmest people that i know, i really mean it!!!
You always say the right thing, and you have such wonderful knowledge, that i know you gained in the hardest way possible. I respect your opinions with the highest regard!!!!!!
My husband always refers to addiction in the same way, the line about it waiting in the parking lot doing pushups!!!! It's a powerful beast, but we have more power than 'it', so i do need to get stronger and stop being a woose! I know, i know, but that's how i feel right now. I'd kick my own butt if i could reach it!!!!! lol!
I admitted to two separate people today, that i am an addict, and that was difficult.
A good friend of mine, from where we used to live, was giving me a pep talk tonight. Robert contacted him and told him where he was, so he had his dad call him to talk. His dad is an alcoholic, sober for quite some time, and really had to work at it for a while before he made it work. It meant to much to Robert to have our friend's dad call him. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives, so understanding and so supportive, it really touches my heart. I don't know what i'd do without all of you, you really are sent straight from heaven.
I'm having horrible anxiety attacks tonight, almost panic. I'm worried about my children, i feel so terrible that they are left with me, the addict mom, to make sure they are secure during this difficult time. My 5-year old son said he misses his dad because "he knows everything". Robert got on the phone with him tonight to talk because i mentioned that he's been having some difficultly lately. Very frusterated and scared, i know. I sat down with him and had a talk, and asked him what he was feeling. He misses his dad terribly, the same dad that he said he didn't want a short while ago. Robert is trying to mend things that were done wrong. He is calling everyone and apologizing. He is working his program, going through the steps and i am so happy for him. He sounds wonderful, and is completely off of everything now. No meds from the doctors at all. Not even antidepressants, which he doesn't need anyway. His main problem is anxiety, which causes him to drink because he tries to numb because he just feels too much, which is why i love him so, he is a very sensitive, beautiful human being. The drinking makes him depressed, not a chemical imbalance. The antidepressants just numbed him further, and made him feel even more dead inside.
I think i am getting alittle closer to being ready to just say "to hell with all the evil drugs, alcohol, etc."
I'm sick of being sick, and i so much want to 'feel' everything again. I know i'm missing out on so much in life living inside this dead mind. Well, not completely dead, but i know i have so much more to give to myself and others.
I just can't face my parents, or ever let them know about this, that i cannot do. It would rip them to shreads! My mom has her own problems, but it really hasn't ever been 'talked' about openingly. This is a secret i must keep from them, and it hurts.
I've been thinking a lot tonight, can you tell?
So i have my son who is very frusterated, and then there's my 8-year old daughter. Her relationship with her dad has always been good. They are very much alike, and she seems to know how to 'play the game' just like he does. But one thing that i see is she is being incredibly clingy. She has always been a touchy feely type, but she is all over me, plus she can't walk past me without touching me in some way. Unfortuately, i am not a touchy feely type and get very claustrophobic! It almost hurts to be 'touched' right now, it is so weird. I don't know if it's the pills, or maybe a sign of withdrawal, but it's awful. I've never been a huggy type, but this is getting ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong, i hug and tell my kids i love them every single day, so they are getting affection, it's just too overwhelming for me right now. I hope this all makes sense, and i apologize for being so wordy! I'm gonna wear your poor eyes out!!!!!!
Thank you for listening, it helps to get all of this out!
Love Jenny
You have to be one of the sweetest, warmest people that i know, i really mean it!!!
You always say the right thing, and you have such wonderful knowledge, that i know you gained in the hardest way possible. I respect your opinions with the highest regard!!!!!!
My husband always refers to addiction in the same way, the line about it waiting in the parking lot doing pushups!!!! It's a powerful beast, but we have more power than 'it', so i do need to get stronger and stop being a woose! I know, i know, but that's how i feel right now. I'd kick my own butt if i could reach it!!!!! lol!
I admitted to two separate people today, that i am an addict, and that was difficult.
A good friend of mine, from where we used to live, was giving me a pep talk tonight. Robert contacted him and told him where he was, so he had his dad call him to talk. His dad is an alcoholic, sober for quite some time, and really had to work at it for a while before he made it work. It meant to much to Robert to have our friend's dad call him. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives, so understanding and so supportive, it really touches my heart. I don't know what i'd do without all of you, you really are sent straight from heaven.
I'm having horrible anxiety attacks tonight, almost panic. I'm worried about my children, i feel so terrible that they are left with me, the addict mom, to make sure they are secure during this difficult time. My 5-year old son said he misses his dad because "he knows everything". Robert got on the phone with him tonight to talk because i mentioned that he's been having some difficultly lately. Very frusterated and scared, i know. I sat down with him and had a talk, and asked him what he was feeling. He misses his dad terribly, the same dad that he said he didn't want a short while ago. Robert is trying to mend things that were done wrong. He is calling everyone and apologizing. He is working his program, going through the steps and i am so happy for him. He sounds wonderful, and is completely off of everything now. No meds from the doctors at all. Not even antidepressants, which he doesn't need anyway. His main problem is anxiety, which causes him to drink because he tries to numb because he just feels too much, which is why i love him so, he is a very sensitive, beautiful human being. The drinking makes him depressed, not a chemical imbalance. The antidepressants just numbed him further, and made him feel even more dead inside.
I think i am getting alittle closer to being ready to just say "to hell with all the evil drugs, alcohol, etc."
I'm sick of being sick, and i so much want to 'feel' everything again. I know i'm missing out on so much in life living inside this dead mind. Well, not completely dead, but i know i have so much more to give to myself and others.
I just can't face my parents, or ever let them know about this, that i cannot do. It would rip them to shreads! My mom has her own problems, but it really hasn't ever been 'talked' about openingly. This is a secret i must keep from them, and it hurts.
I've been thinking a lot tonight, can you tell?
So i have my son who is very frusterated, and then there's my 8-year old daughter. Her relationship with her dad has always been good. They are very much alike, and she seems to know how to 'play the game' just like he does. But one thing that i see is she is being incredibly clingy. She has always been a touchy feely type, but she is all over me, plus she can't walk past me without touching me in some way. Unfortuately, i am not a touchy feely type and get very claustrophobic! It almost hurts to be 'touched' right now, it is so weird. I don't know if it's the pills, or maybe a sign of withdrawal, but it's awful. I've never been a huggy type, but this is getting ridiculous. Now don't get me wrong, i hug and tell my kids i love them every single day, so they are getting affection, it's just too overwhelming for me right now. I hope this all makes sense, and i apologize for being so wordy! I'm gonna wear your poor eyes out!!!!!!
Thank you for listening, it helps to get all of this out!
Love Jenny
My hub just called, and he met with the doctor. Good news is he doesn't have cirrosis, yet, but one more drink, and she said he could get it (scare tactic, but i'm sure he is close).
One of the tests for the liver, came out at 1000 and it should read 40. The dr is confident that the level will go down, and will retest him again next week. She called it a "Holiday" something or another. Referring to the levels being common for people who just came back from a holiday and overdid it too much. I am curious to see how much the level goes down. He's one lucky guy, considering the length of time he's been drinking, and how much he's put in his body, both drugs and alcohol, over these past 4-years.
I need to get real serious with myself and clean up my act. It's hard to go to meetings right now, with no money for a babysitter (not much money for food, much less a sitter), and three children to take care of. All i have are all of you wonderful people to kick me in the ass when i need it, some friends at home, and my family (who don't know about me)! I need to get real strong know, my husband is counting on it, my kids are counting on it, and my life is depending on it.
Wish me luck!
Lv Jenny
One of the tests for the liver, came out at 1000 and it should read 40. The dr is confident that the level will go down, and will retest him again next week. She called it a "Holiday" something or another. Referring to the levels being common for people who just came back from a holiday and overdid it too much. I am curious to see how much the level goes down. He's one lucky guy, considering the length of time he's been drinking, and how much he's put in his body, both drugs and alcohol, over these past 4-years.
I need to get real serious with myself and clean up my act. It's hard to go to meetings right now, with no money for a babysitter (not much money for food, much less a sitter), and three children to take care of. All i have are all of you wonderful people to kick me in the ass when i need it, some friends at home, and my family (who don't know about me)! I need to get real strong know, my husband is counting on it, my kids are counting on it, and my life is depending on it.
Wish me luck!
Lv Jenny
So of course, Jenny goes on the internet and starts to look up info on livers to see what a level of 1000 actually means. I know not good, but how bad? I called my internal dr and left a message to ask some questions. He was wonderful back 2-months ago when i had a blood test because i was achy in my ab. My levels were fine ALT of 12 and AST of 21, range is 0-40 (normal). My husband told me that one of the levels came back at 1000, i am assuming either ALT or AST, they told him the normal level was 40. He doesn't have hep, and he doesn't have cirrosus, according to the dr. They will recheck him in 1 week!
I'm sending him a little care package today with a few things that he requested. He's getting a bunch of literature on the liver, you can bet that!!!!!!
I remember back in the late 80's he had elevated levels back then, he must have a miracle liver, but i fear the poor tired thing is all worn out. He just has to stay clean!!! And i have to get clean!
Lv Jenny
I'm sending him a little care package today with a few things that he requested. He's getting a bunch of literature on the liver, you can bet that!!!!!!
I remember back in the late 80's he had elevated levels back then, he must have a miracle liver, but i fear the poor tired thing is all worn out. He just has to stay clean!!! And i have to get clean!
Lv Jenny
My dear Jenny, Your will and determination is so strong,,that dream of yours is not that far out of reach,,it is just at the tip of your fingers...one day with the willingness and desire your husband will be well..remember this disease is not "curable" but it is treatable like diabetes...it takes powerful medicine to keep it down...I have always said that while we are at meetings or doing what whatever it is we do to keep ourselves ok,that monster AKA addiction is patiently waiting for us in the parking lot,,doing push-ups gaining it's strength to strike at us when we are the most vulnerable..during times of stress, pain emotional or physical, complacency etc..that is when the dragon (hi wiz) gets up his strength and strikes...so we have to be stronger than the dragon, we have to never become complacent, and when we are stressed et. we have to work an even stronger program,,,when we finally surrender and admit our powerlessness and let our higher power in our lives is when the fog seems to lift. Keep in mind that spirituality and religion are 2 seperate things....NA/AA are not religious programs but spritual...now, go take a hot bubble bath,,,use a fragrance that is designed to relieve stress, do your hair and nails. read a book do some gardening,,something you enjoy...and kiss your babies....I always kiss my kids before I do something nice for me so I won't feel guilty LOL hang in there and I promis no more lectures Love ya cin
Thanks girl! It's still feeling numblike, but not hot anymore. Feels like it is all located directly on the surface, nothing deepdown, no bruising, no swelling, nothing. It will probably just go away. No other meds except for opiates, and even those are at a pretty lowdose.
I have both my daughter at work today, my 1-year old is always with me, and i'm bringing my 8-year old with me for 3-days while my boss is in california. Saves me $15.00 a day in childcare costs.
I did spend some money at lunchtime, by husband had asked for a few cassette tapes for his walkman. He wanted The Allman Brothers, and Eric Clapton. It's money that i don't have, but it is theroputic for him, and i want him to love his music again, he shut that out long ago. I would love to see him pick up the guitar that i gave him for his birthday back in April. He hasn't been able to play, and when i gave it to him, he cried and had to leave the room. He really was happy, but sad. So i want him to have his music again!
He talks about getting back in Karate, which he used to study back in the 80's, that would be great because there is a lot of self-disapline involved with Karate, and it is spiritual in a way. It's the closest i will ever get that man to church, i'll say that. I think i had mentioned the part about him wanting a motorcycle. That too would be good.
I know what you are probably thinking, what is Jenny going to do for Jenny. I just want to be able to enjoy my life with my well husband and my beautiful children. I would like to have a job that is somewhat interesting, and people to work around would be nice too. It's all a far away dream for now.
Thanks for listening!
Lv Jenny
I have both my daughter at work today, my 1-year old is always with me, and i'm bringing my 8-year old with me for 3-days while my boss is in california. Saves me $15.00 a day in childcare costs.
I did spend some money at lunchtime, by husband had asked for a few cassette tapes for his walkman. He wanted The Allman Brothers, and Eric Clapton. It's money that i don't have, but it is theroputic for him, and i want him to love his music again, he shut that out long ago. I would love to see him pick up the guitar that i gave him for his birthday back in April. He hasn't been able to play, and when i gave it to him, he cried and had to leave the room. He really was happy, but sad. So i want him to have his music again!
He talks about getting back in Karate, which he used to study back in the 80's, that would be great because there is a lot of self-disapline involved with Karate, and it is spiritual in a way. It's the closest i will ever get that man to church, i'll say that. I think i had mentioned the part about him wanting a motorcycle. That too would be good.
I know what you are probably thinking, what is Jenny going to do for Jenny. I just want to be able to enjoy my life with my well husband and my beautiful children. I would like to have a job that is somewhat interesting, and people to work around would be nice too. It's all a far away dream for now.
Thanks for listening!
Lv Jenny
Hey you,,,,you should probably have your thihg checked out by a physician....All though I can't diagnose I can make suggestions :) you may have had some soft tissue injury did you fall bump yourself,,,is there bruising...all though the top of the thigh is not a real common site for like a phelbitis,,)inflammation of a vein) or a thrombosis (clot formation) the temp of the skin and sensation that differs from other areas of the leg may be reason enough for me to say go to the dr. anything is possible... other than opiates what meds do you take? if there is numbness etc, I would not attempt heat therapy for fear of burning yourself....ok sorry I could not have been of more help but it is sooooooooo hard over the computer.... Now my fee :) be wll my friend Love ya cin
I have a quick question for you, since you are a nurse, maybe you know what this is.
Since last night, i've noticed a numb feeling on my left tight, right on top, and it even feels a little warm. It's only numb if i put my hand on it, about the length of my hand. I can feel it isn't as sensitive (the skin) as my other leg.
Very weird. I can't afford anymore doctors, i have about 12 doctor's bills to pay off right now as is.
Any ideas? I know it sounds weird!
Lv Jenny
Since last night, i've noticed a numb feeling on my left tight, right on top, and it even feels a little warm. It's only numb if i put my hand on it, about the length of my hand. I can feel it isn't as sensitive (the skin) as my other leg.
Very weird. I can't afford anymore doctors, i have about 12 doctor's bills to pay off right now as is.
Any ideas? I know it sounds weird!
Lv Jenny
Hey girl,
No, i could never be upset with you, you are only trying to help me... I respect your opinions because i know you have been there and back, and there and back again and again.
I get like that sometimes, feeling optimistic, but really, deep down, i'm bracing myself for the day he returns, it's not going to be a picnic at the beach.
We went to see Robert today, and he looked good, considering what he is going through. He is off the meds, as of today, and he was really starting to feel sore and achy 1/2 way through our visit, so we had to go. Having the kids with me didn't help, my 5-year old can be very vocal at times. I think he is suffering the most out of my three children. I need to spend some time with him, alone, and try to understand what he is feeling and try to put his worries at ease. My 8-year old doesn't help matters much, she teases him, and bosses him around, and it is very frusterating for him. I plan to work with both of them so that we can all live happier together in the same house! (ugh!)
I'm feeling a bit beat-up tonight, everything is getting to me, and i feel like the entire world is laying on my shoulders. My husband had a list of things he wanted me to bring, and one of them was some tapes. Well, the only ones i could find were ones that he didn't like (actually, he liked a few). I told him that i am trying to be careful with money, there isn't much to go around. I even brought him $30, and that's a lot of money for me right now. He even asked me to pick up a walkman for a friend there, he was admiring my husbands. He will pay us for it, but i think my husband plans to keep the cash. I don't think he realizes exactly how tight things are. If i bring it up, he tells me not to worry. Well that's all fine for him, with all his fancy foods, and getting to eat everything and anything he wants. My frig is starting to echo a bit, and it's not cheap feeding a family of four, not the mention the gas i used in my car to go to visit him. I'm just a little hurt that he isn't in reality, but i understand that he is focusing on himself right now. It's the combo of that, plus all the disrespect i've been getting from his mother, including when i try to explain my point of view, she hangs up on me. Doesn't she realize all that i've done to keep this family going, and that he son would probably be dead by now if it weren't for me.
After my son making a scene, and seeing robert having the same look in his eyes of frusteration with the kids, although he really tried very hard, and i haven't seen him be that patient with them for quite some time. I can't help but wonder if he would just be better off alone, or at least without all of us. I just can't picture him coming home, same old environment, demanding kids, him trying to find work, dealing with the hot, florida weather, and everything being ok. I almost feel like i should just set him free into the world, and let him make his own choices, and live his life without all the constant crazyness of having a big family. He used to say that he never really wanted kids, and he never really wanted to get married (to me), that he was happy living together, and i was the one who wanted all these kids. I don't know why i'm bringing all this up, he hasn't said anything for quite some time, but it hurt, and it's a wound that will never heal.
He just doesn't seem to understand, or realize all that i do or have to do to keep things going. I make it look so easy, that it's overlooked at how difficult it is working full-time, taking care of a house, and three young children, not to mention the two dogs, a guinea pig (his cage is constantly needing to be cleaned), and a grouchy lovebird. He wanted some magazines, and i brought some of his old ones, but he made a face when i didn't have anything new. On the way out, i piled the kids back in the car, stopped at a drug store, grabbed a $5 magazine, when back to the facility, loaded the kids out of the car (with a 1-year old, there's always a stroller involved, and usually the child does not go willingly, not to mention getting her in and out of the car seat, she's 28lbs -- i'm only around 106), so back to give him the magazine. That's just a small example. So we're driving home down I-95, and i had promised the kids Wendy's if they were good (my son really wasn't, but i gave in anyway), i had spent all my money on the magazine, plus the 3-stops i made on the way out for little things that he requested, so i had to run into the supermarket to cash a check. I get out, and it is raining (one of those terencial florida downpours), i run with my son with 2 gallons of milk, bread, and a few other things in hand, get into the car, drive with 3 nosey kids to wendys. It was raining so hard, i had to put up the umbrella in the drive through, back home, change the wet kids... and go on with my nice peaceful evening (HA!!!!!!)
I guess i'm just feeling unappreciated, and big time sorry for myself (pity party)!
I'm just tired, tired of keeping everything going, and trying of the 'strong' one! When is it ever going to be time for someone to take care of me! Of course i would probably hate that, i'm a control freak and would probably run screaming and yelling as fast as i could. LOL!
I'm just blabbering, so don't pay any attention to me, it helps to get this all out, i'll feel better tomorrow. Oh, and there goes the baby crying, it's about midnight, wonder what she needs.
Talked to my parents today, and my mom offered money to help pay off debts that we might have so that we wouldn't be paying interest on credit cards, etc.
I told her that we are fine, that everything is ok. My dad, who is 69, is trying to retire this year, and i know they lost a lot of money in the stock market this year, and his profit sharing is down quite a bit, i don't want to take anything from them, they've done so much for us throughout our lives. They always pay for our airfare, and my dad doesn't make that much money, but they are very good with budgeting! I would hate to ask them for a penny after all they've done, but it's nice to know that they are out there.
I filed unemployment for by husband on the net, so if that goes through in 3-4 weeks, then we will be ok. His counseling, whom i spoke to this morning, is thinking that the suggestion will be to have him continue in extended care for an addition 2-months. If his sister is willing to help, then fine, but there's no way we can afford it. Our credit is lousy, so we wouldn't even be able to get a loan for it. My mom said there is no way you are going into debt over that (extended care), that's another story, it's really not her decision. My mom is very controlling, and is adding a little too much, but i know she is trying to hold back her opinions, i can feel them in the air even if she doesn't talk about them, i know her too well! But it's only out of love for me and the kids, and they are concerned, i know.
So that's my story for today, and i thank you for listening and for caring enough to tell me like it is, because you are right!
Thanks for being you sweetie!
Love Jenny
P.S. A party sounds great if i can ever get my life together enough to actually participate in anything fun and for me, for a change.
No, i could never be upset with you, you are only trying to help me... I respect your opinions because i know you have been there and back, and there and back again and again.
I get like that sometimes, feeling optimistic, but really, deep down, i'm bracing myself for the day he returns, it's not going to be a picnic at the beach.
We went to see Robert today, and he looked good, considering what he is going through. He is off the meds, as of today, and he was really starting to feel sore and achy 1/2 way through our visit, so we had to go. Having the kids with me didn't help, my 5-year old can be very vocal at times. I think he is suffering the most out of my three children. I need to spend some time with him, alone, and try to understand what he is feeling and try to put his worries at ease. My 8-year old doesn't help matters much, she teases him, and bosses him around, and it is very frusterating for him. I plan to work with both of them so that we can all live happier together in the same house! (ugh!)
I'm feeling a bit beat-up tonight, everything is getting to me, and i feel like the entire world is laying on my shoulders. My husband had a list of things he wanted me to bring, and one of them was some tapes. Well, the only ones i could find were ones that he didn't like (actually, he liked a few). I told him that i am trying to be careful with money, there isn't much to go around. I even brought him $30, and that's a lot of money for me right now. He even asked me to pick up a walkman for a friend there, he was admiring my husbands. He will pay us for it, but i think my husband plans to keep the cash. I don't think he realizes exactly how tight things are. If i bring it up, he tells me not to worry. Well that's all fine for him, with all his fancy foods, and getting to eat everything and anything he wants. My frig is starting to echo a bit, and it's not cheap feeding a family of four, not the mention the gas i used in my car to go to visit him. I'm just a little hurt that he isn't in reality, but i understand that he is focusing on himself right now. It's the combo of that, plus all the disrespect i've been getting from his mother, including when i try to explain my point of view, she hangs up on me. Doesn't she realize all that i've done to keep this family going, and that he son would probably be dead by now if it weren't for me.
After my son making a scene, and seeing robert having the same look in his eyes of frusteration with the kids, although he really tried very hard, and i haven't seen him be that patient with them for quite some time. I can't help but wonder if he would just be better off alone, or at least without all of us. I just can't picture him coming home, same old environment, demanding kids, him trying to find work, dealing with the hot, florida weather, and everything being ok. I almost feel like i should just set him free into the world, and let him make his own choices, and live his life without all the constant crazyness of having a big family. He used to say that he never really wanted kids, and he never really wanted to get married (to me), that he was happy living together, and i was the one who wanted all these kids. I don't know why i'm bringing all this up, he hasn't said anything for quite some time, but it hurt, and it's a wound that will never heal.
He just doesn't seem to understand, or realize all that i do or have to do to keep things going. I make it look so easy, that it's overlooked at how difficult it is working full-time, taking care of a house, and three young children, not to mention the two dogs, a guinea pig (his cage is constantly needing to be cleaned), and a grouchy lovebird. He wanted some magazines, and i brought some of his old ones, but he made a face when i didn't have anything new. On the way out, i piled the kids back in the car, stopped at a drug store, grabbed a $5 magazine, when back to the facility, loaded the kids out of the car (with a 1-year old, there's always a stroller involved, and usually the child does not go willingly, not to mention getting her in and out of the car seat, she's 28lbs -- i'm only around 106), so back to give him the magazine. That's just a small example. So we're driving home down I-95, and i had promised the kids Wendy's if they were good (my son really wasn't, but i gave in anyway), i had spent all my money on the magazine, plus the 3-stops i made on the way out for little things that he requested, so i had to run into the supermarket to cash a check. I get out, and it is raining (one of those terencial florida downpours), i run with my son with 2 gallons of milk, bread, and a few other things in hand, get into the car, drive with 3 nosey kids to wendys. It was raining so hard, i had to put up the umbrella in the drive through, back home, change the wet kids... and go on with my nice peaceful evening (HA!!!!!!)
I guess i'm just feeling unappreciated, and big time sorry for myself (pity party)!
I'm just tired, tired of keeping everything going, and trying of the 'strong' one! When is it ever going to be time for someone to take care of me! Of course i would probably hate that, i'm a control freak and would probably run screaming and yelling as fast as i could. LOL!
I'm just blabbering, so don't pay any attention to me, it helps to get this all out, i'll feel better tomorrow. Oh, and there goes the baby crying, it's about midnight, wonder what she needs.
Talked to my parents today, and my mom offered money to help pay off debts that we might have so that we wouldn't be paying interest on credit cards, etc.
I told her that we are fine, that everything is ok. My dad, who is 69, is trying to retire this year, and i know they lost a lot of money in the stock market this year, and his profit sharing is down quite a bit, i don't want to take anything from them, they've done so much for us throughout our lives. They always pay for our airfare, and my dad doesn't make that much money, but they are very good with budgeting! I would hate to ask them for a penny after all they've done, but it's nice to know that they are out there.
I filed unemployment for by husband on the net, so if that goes through in 3-4 weeks, then we will be ok. His counseling, whom i spoke to this morning, is thinking that the suggestion will be to have him continue in extended care for an addition 2-months. If his sister is willing to help, then fine, but there's no way we can afford it. Our credit is lousy, so we wouldn't even be able to get a loan for it. My mom said there is no way you are going into debt over that (extended care), that's another story, it's really not her decision. My mom is very controlling, and is adding a little too much, but i know she is trying to hold back her opinions, i can feel them in the air even if she doesn't talk about them, i know her too well! But it's only out of love for me and the kids, and they are concerned, i know.
So that's my story for today, and i thank you for listening and for caring enough to tell me like it is, because you are right!
Thanks for being you sweetie!
Love Jenny
P.S. A party sounds great if i can ever get my life together enough to actually participate in anything fun and for me, for a change.
I'm sorry your question got lost in the other posts.
I live in Florida and when I was about 19 or 20, I had to "Baker Act" my mother due to acholoism (sp?) she tried to cold turkey it and almost died. Once she kicked it the first time and remarried, she slid back and her husband was forced to do it again. Luckily she has been sober many, many years now.
All you need to do is get your son to the doctor, whatever way you can, and the doc can get you started. Or call and find out what you can do. It's a very hard and painful thing to do. I still feel alot of guilt after 20+ years that I was forced to do that. It wasn't no swanky resort. She had to detox downtown with the rest of the junkies and then was moved to a public rehab. (a renovated motel on the outskirts of town) But I saved her life the first time and my step dad saved her the second. She is now an alumni with AA and that is her lifeline along with her family.
Please help your son!
Lynda
I live in Florida and when I was about 19 or 20, I had to "Baker Act" my mother due to acholoism (sp?) she tried to cold turkey it and almost died. Once she kicked it the first time and remarried, she slid back and her husband was forced to do it again. Luckily she has been sober many, many years now.
All you need to do is get your son to the doctor, whatever way you can, and the doc can get you started. Or call and find out what you can do. It's a very hard and painful thing to do. I still feel alot of guilt after 20+ years that I was forced to do that. It wasn't no swanky resort. She had to detox downtown with the rest of the junkies and then was moved to a public rehab. (a renovated motel on the outskirts of town) But I saved her life the first time and my step dad saved her the second. She is now an alumni with AA and that is her lifeline along with her family.
Please help your son!
Lynda
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. It is great to have a support system like this. Just reading this forum helps me tremendously. Good luck to you too and I am happy for you and your husband. BTW - attorneys, CEO'S etc are usually Type A personalities (like Cindi said) so I'm sure that your sister in law was probably just trying to help. Type A's are agressive: they see a problem, they form a plan, they follow through and they "fix it" - seen it action myself many times. That is just her way to deal with it. Everyone of us as humans has our own way to deal with things. I hope everything works out.
Love to all, Maryanne
Love to all, Maryanne
Hello Thomas! You know, I have been carrying a bottle of Lorcet in my purse for the last couple of weeks while sticking to my tapering schedule. The thought never crossed my mind that I could actually just take what I need! LOL :) Last time it was all or none, you know. I just don't like HAVING to take ALL the medication I was on just to feel "normal" but I AM feeling okay with just 3. The uncomfortable feeling is getting less uncomfy. And actually, YES, it IS relieving my pain. I just don't want to go through any withdrawal on the days where I don't need anything, you know? So I will continue to take each day as it comes (and definately not go over 3) - I'll keep tapering too and if I feel severe pain when I'm down to 1, maybe I'll just take one (the question is can I do it?) Maybe I'll have my Mom hold my medication for me- she knows everything about me - she is a nurse (me too as you know) and we work on a case together (I do days, she does nights) so I see her everyday almost. She has never had an addiction problem (doesn't even drink) but my Dad did, so she understands. I really feel like I don't ever want to go back where I came from. I have been reading your posts over the last few months and am SO HAPPY for you! I'm so glad you detoxed from the opiates Tom. Good luck and God Bless! Love, Maryanne
Things are sounding so up-beat for you...I don't want to ever ever burst your bubble but hon,,,please keep in mind that as long as there are good days for your husband and you,,,the bad days are bound to creep in..but keep you chin up..I am only telling you this now because if tomorrow you have a wonderful day and the next day things seem to go to hell at least you can keep in mind that "this to shall pass",,,this is the part of recovery that is sooooo hard...living life on life's terms it sucks sometimes but it is worth it...but don't look for that bad day....look for the good in every day...if yo have a really horrible day,,,,try to find some humor in it....something positive..one day I had a day where everything went wrong...and I mean everything,,,when all was said and done I sat and though,,this day was like something out of I love Lucy.... I am maily referring to you MIL,,,don't let her or your SIL drag you down,..keep the focus on your family...Gosh I wish you lived closer to me...LOl but when I move we can hang out first thing, I'm throwing a party for anyone and everyone and all though it will probably only be for me you and Brighty we can invite everyone..we cad do a few meeting together....well, you hang in there,,,,Pray hon, and I will be praying for you....please don't be upset with me that I talked about you maybe having a bad day the last thing I want to do is upset you..you are such a sweet person....and I love you to pieces... i had to learn that life is not always peaches and cream....there are peach pits in there.....if yo need me you know where I am love to all cin
Wow, girl, i have to hand it to you, i admire your strength and courage.
I wish you all the best in your tappering and getting away from the pain meds, for yourself, and your 5-year old child. I have a 5-year old too, and boy they can be a handful at times.
As was said to you, i hope you can deal with your pain without meds altogether.
My husband suffers from back pain, but i know that he can't handle pain medication because he just doesn't know when to stop. If you give him a handful, they will be gone in no time, he has no willpower.
I hope that you are able to do what is best for you, and that you will feel well, and happy real soon.
Thank you for sharing your story, and we are all here for you anytime!
Love Jenny
I wish you all the best in your tappering and getting away from the pain meds, for yourself, and your 5-year old child. I have a 5-year old too, and boy they can be a handful at times.
As was said to you, i hope you can deal with your pain without meds altogether.
My husband suffers from back pain, but i know that he can't handle pain medication because he just doesn't know when to stop. If you give him a handful, they will be gone in no time, he has no willpower.
I hope that you are able to do what is best for you, and that you will feel well, and happy real soon.
Thank you for sharing your story, and we are all here for you anytime!
Love Jenny
Hey girl!
Oh, I love it when i see someone i care about in a good mood, you deserve it!!!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU BOTH!!!! I hope you are having a fun time on your date, how wonderful that you two are getting away, ALONE, and having a fun time together!
Wow, you described my sister-in-law to the 'T', aggressive is putting it mildy! I know she is just trying to help deep-down, but i wish she understood that my children are 'people' and have feelings too. They aren't just cattle, and they can't be shipped off just to give us more space and time to ourselves. Plus, they've only met his family once, and that was quite a while ago. I told my 8-year old daughter what was going on, and she said "NO WAY" will she go anywhere unless i go with her.
I wrote my sister-in-law an email the other night, and i explained to her how i was feeling about the whole mother-in-law thing, and how she is making things worse for me and my husband right now. I wasn't cruel with my words, only honest with my feelings. Well, my mother-in-law must have gone on my sister-in-law's computer, and read the email that was intended for my sister-in-law's eyes only. My husband spoke to his mom, and she started to read the email to him, upsetting him of course; that seems to be all she does when she talks to him. I tried to call my sister-in-law today, I wanted to tell her that it is only upsetting him to talk to his mother right now because she seems to be very good at saying all the wrong things. I want her to lay-off for a while, and not talk to him at all while he is trying to get better. He called me in tears early this morning, all confused! This whole things is getting so out-of-control, and completely crazy. He called me back and said that his mother is "crazy" (I've been trying to tell him that for a long long time). Also, his sister seems to be completely naive when it comes to the topic of addiction alltogether. He asked her how long has she been an expert on addiction, and she said 15-years. I had a conversation with her last week, and let me tell you, this women is blind when it comes to addiction. My husband tried to explain to her that it's not about the program and not about staying in for extended care, etc. etc., it must come from within, and unless he is willing and ready to get well, nothing in this world will work. She keeps trying to convince him that we need to move, or he needs a different line of work, or really, not to work at all is what she is suggesting. Unfortuately, I think loosing our home, and not being able to eat would be a real good way to relaspe in my opinion. She thinks he can collect disability, which i've researched and i know it's not an easy thing to do. It also takes somewhere around 1-year before someone could even collect, and that's after not working for that full year. I've filed unemployment for him, yesterday, so hopefully that will come through and be helpful while he is trying to figure out what he wants to do for employment. I really think his back will feel much better after he gets all the drugs out of his system. I know he hurts, but i'm real curious to see what may be the real cause of his pain. You just can't feel good punching holes in your arm everyday and putting tons of chemical in your system. I know his body was tired of the abuse, and the state of withdrawal he was in most of the time, can make you feel like you've been hit by a mack truck. I feel very confident in saying that i am quite knowledgeable on the subject of addiction. Not only with what i've read or what's been told to me, but having a personal case-study to observe, and believe me, i watched him like a hawk, always trying to figure out what he was doing, and how he reacted. Not to mention, my own case-study on myself. I've lived it (nowhere near to the extent that he has), but still, i know what it feels like, and i know the mental anguish involved when you crave that, so powerful, drug!!! I know his pain, and i know how hard it is to beat it. I told him tonight that i'm going to find a meeting to go to because it's just too hard. I want to be honest with him, and keep things simple and lite, but i want him to know where i am coming from. He talked about the 90 meetings in 90 days, and i am so happy that he seems to be willing to do that this time around. He wants to buy a motorcycle. He used to have them, and gave it up when he first became a father. I think that's a great idea, it shows that he is interested in 'living' again. He talked about some hobbies he used to have, and about getting back into them. I am thrilled that he is thinking about doing things other than being the couches big paperweight again. It would hurt to my inner core seeing him wasting away on that couch all of the time, laying there asleep, sleeping away his life. When he wasn't working or shooting up, most of the time he would be sleeping wishing that the world would go away.
We got to visit him tomorrow, and i can't wait. He talks about all the rich, spoiled people in that place and it sickens him to hear them talk about all they have (material possessions). I wanted to tell him that he is the riches man there, because he has a beautiful, loving family! I can't wait to march our beautiful children through the grounds tomorrow, i know that will make him proud and give him a boost that i'm sure he needs.
Well thank you for listening to my forever post!
You take care, and I love you girl!
Jenny
Oh, I love it when i see someone i care about in a good mood, you deserve it!!!!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU BOTH!!!! I hope you are having a fun time on your date, how wonderful that you two are getting away, ALONE, and having a fun time together!
Wow, you described my sister-in-law to the 'T', aggressive is putting it mildy! I know she is just trying to help deep-down, but i wish she understood that my children are 'people' and have feelings too. They aren't just cattle, and they can't be shipped off just to give us more space and time to ourselves. Plus, they've only met his family once, and that was quite a while ago. I told my 8-year old daughter what was going on, and she said "NO WAY" will she go anywhere unless i go with her.
I wrote my sister-in-law an email the other night, and i explained to her how i was feeling about the whole mother-in-law thing, and how she is making things worse for me and my husband right now. I wasn't cruel with my words, only honest with my feelings. Well, my mother-in-law must have gone on my sister-in-law's computer, and read the email that was intended for my sister-in-law's eyes only. My husband spoke to his mom, and she started to read the email to him, upsetting him of course; that seems to be all she does when she talks to him. I tried to call my sister-in-law today, I wanted to tell her that it is only upsetting him to talk to his mother right now because she seems to be very good at saying all the wrong things. I want her to lay-off for a while, and not talk to him at all while he is trying to get better. He called me in tears early this morning, all confused! This whole things is getting so out-of-control, and completely crazy. He called me back and said that his mother is "crazy" (I've been trying to tell him that for a long long time). Also, his sister seems to be completely naive when it comes to the topic of addiction alltogether. He asked her how long has she been an expert on addiction, and she said 15-years. I had a conversation with her last week, and let me tell you, this women is blind when it comes to addiction. My husband tried to explain to her that it's not about the program and not about staying in for extended care, etc. etc., it must come from within, and unless he is willing and ready to get well, nothing in this world will work. She keeps trying to convince him that we need to move, or he needs a different line of work, or really, not to work at all is what she is suggesting. Unfortuately, I think loosing our home, and not being able to eat would be a real good way to relaspe in my opinion. She thinks he can collect disability, which i've researched and i know it's not an easy thing to do. It also takes somewhere around 1-year before someone could even collect, and that's after not working for that full year. I've filed unemployment for him, yesterday, so hopefully that will come through and be helpful while he is trying to figure out what he wants to do for employment. I really think his back will feel much better after he gets all the drugs out of his system. I know he hurts, but i'm real curious to see what may be the real cause of his pain. You just can't feel good punching holes in your arm everyday and putting tons of chemical in your system. I know his body was tired of the abuse, and the state of withdrawal he was in most of the time, can make you feel like you've been hit by a mack truck. I feel very confident in saying that i am quite knowledgeable on the subject of addiction. Not only with what i've read or what's been told to me, but having a personal case-study to observe, and believe me, i watched him like a hawk, always trying to figure out what he was doing, and how he reacted. Not to mention, my own case-study on myself. I've lived it (nowhere near to the extent that he has), but still, i know what it feels like, and i know the mental anguish involved when you crave that, so powerful, drug!!! I know his pain, and i know how hard it is to beat it. I told him tonight that i'm going to find a meeting to go to because it's just too hard. I want to be honest with him, and keep things simple and lite, but i want him to know where i am coming from. He talked about the 90 meetings in 90 days, and i am so happy that he seems to be willing to do that this time around. He wants to buy a motorcycle. He used to have them, and gave it up when he first became a father. I think that's a great idea, it shows that he is interested in 'living' again. He talked about some hobbies he used to have, and about getting back into them. I am thrilled that he is thinking about doing things other than being the couches big paperweight again. It would hurt to my inner core seeing him wasting away on that couch all of the time, laying there asleep, sleeping away his life. When he wasn't working or shooting up, most of the time he would be sleeping wishing that the world would go away.
We got to visit him tomorrow, and i can't wait. He talks about all the rich, spoiled people in that place and it sickens him to hear them talk about all they have (material possessions). I wanted to tell him that he is the riches man there, because he has a beautiful, loving family! I can't wait to march our beautiful children through the grounds tomorrow, i know that will make him proud and give him a boost that i'm sure he needs.
Well thank you for listening to my forever post!
You take care, and I love you girl!
Jenny
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