My Husband

[DistraughtWife]

I need some help please.  My husband and I have just had a baby and we have been married about 2 years.  I really thought I knew who he was and what he was all about, but two days ago he told me that he had done Crank twice about a year ago.  I am very much against drugs myself and I don't touch them.  I thought he was too. I do not want my daughter in this type of environment either.  He says he made a mistake and hasn't touched the stuff since.  

So much trust has been broken since he swore up and down that he hated drugs the whole time we've been together.  Now I find this out.  My question is this... What signs can I be looking for and how can I know he is really done with the stuff?  Also, is Crank generally taken orally, snorted, or what?  I am not familiar with it - I just know it is rampant around our area.  I don't want to be naiive about this. Thanks for any help.

[Walking Bad Habit (WBH)]

GiannaM,
I have tried to post you a note 5 times, my computer is acting squirrly, & it is getting late. I will try tomorrow. Stay strong.
                        Paul
       P.S. My E-Mail address is ***@****

[skipper]

WBH:
was that 51 days!!??
KEEP IT UP....YOU WON'T BE AN ACTIVE ONE OIF US MUCH LONGER!!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[GiannaM]

I gotta tell you-love the screen name-that kinda sums me up too.We are at about the same clean time-today is day 54 for me and last nights meeting helped. Last time I tried NA was in 2000 at this same meeting. I probably went a total of 3 times and this one girl who was in her early 20s exchanged numbers with me and called constantly. I am a social worker and she was relentless with the phone calls. Thank God for caller ID. I love to help others but this chick had been in and out of rehabs for 9 yrs. I felt she wanted her own personal social worker. Needless to say I did not return to the meetings. Well-last might who was at the meeting but the same chick. She moaned about how she had given up 6 mos of clean time and did so much heroin she ended up in the hospital od'ed. As soon as she got out she did more blah blah blah and felt after she left the meeting she would do more etc. I thought to myself if I ever sounded like that someone please shoot me! It made me look at my own behavior in a new light. I sounded and acted like a big baby--I want what I want when I want it. I wish you well, Paul and try to hang in there, it's nice to know there's someone else in my time frame. Keep up the humor, too. I could always use some of that!!

[Walking Bad Habit (WBH)]

Wow, that's a lotta pills. I always paced myself. (Aopprox. 80Mgs. of oxys. (snorted), 2-20's of H, percs, when I could'nt get Oxys. & non stop pot smoking) daily. I paced myself because I did not want to run out. You know, they say the **** is addicting.How was I to know, I never tried to stop. Well it is addicting, and stopping was tough, and painful. I guess you could say I have cravings. I cure them because I know if I give in to even one snort, one pill, or one puff. my 51 days will be for nothing. This forum are my meetings for now. I have pretty much isolated myself to reduce temptation. About 10 days ago I had to work (at work) with the guy that I got high with, all day. Even though this guy is a total train wreck, all I could think of is getting high. ( F- ed up is a better term for it) Even though this guy,  basicly, is a good guy, I now look at him as a total loser, who will probelly be dead in a handful of years, and I still want to get high with him? Boy I hope some day the urge to destroy my life will wane. Good luck to all.
                                        Paul

[GiannaM]

The big H, huh? Well, my opiate addiction of 40 pills a day led me to the methadone clinic for 11/2 years. I went up to 95mgs and didn't go higher because it cost more after 100mgs. I never got to try Heroin, only because it didn't come my way but everybody tells me i"m lucky. I don't know about that--the pills led me to a life of crime anyway. Since the meth doesn't get you high and the opiates were pretty much blocked I found fioricet which totally f___ me up but I didn't know it. As long as I was walking and talking I thought I was alright. The reality was I was slurring walking crooked and driving like hell. I was pulled over at 7:20am by a cop coming home from the clinic and when I spoke to him he asked me how much I had to drink. Of course I was insulted since I don't drink! Missing the whole point! I got my first DUI for drugs. When I realized, in my moment of clarty several days later, that I have a 7yr old dtr who could have been with but wasn't that day-I knew it was time to go inpatient. Did real well coming off the meth (believe it or not I was totally functioning with little effects) After I got back home I was on the honeymoon period for a total of 43 days and then the cravings hit me like a baseball bat!!! Days of being miserable and nasty to everyone. Going to meetings helped but I can't go 24/7. Anyway, I'm doing ok-cut off all my sources in the beginning so I can't use. If it was in front of me I don't think I could say no even now. I'm getting ready to go to a meeting now. Take care. Do you crave?

[skipper]

crank?
i'm an old fart...i remeber when it was called by it's pharm. trd
mark names...methedrine or beter yet desoxyn (it used to come in 20
mg amps...wow what a rush!!)

look for pupils the size of dimes in full room light. ya' know this
crank **** is for young guys....

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

[Walking Bad Habit (WBH)]

Hey GiannaM,
You, & I are at around the the same time frame for sobriety.For me it was thirty years of casual abuse, then the last four years I was on oxys, herion, Pot, & pain killers. I now feel pretty good, I am performing well enough at work, but I am a little lazy at home. So what, A house that is a little messy & a lawn that is a little overgrown, is a worthwhile trade off. I like my Life much more now, then I did when I was high. Good luck to all.
                                      Paul

[GiannaM]

I have to thank you for your post! I just laughed my ass off by myself and I haven't done that in a while. I have been clean for about 45 days and I love to laugh(something I didn't know I was missing) I had a cousin who was strung out on crank for days at a time after shooting it! So I know what you said is sooo true. Personally, I never got into the speed phase during the 1980's when it was well known. Opiates were my vice! Crazy thing is my cousin (male) cleaned up his act (crank,alcohol and marijuana) for over a year now. He is remarried with a new baby and clean. I only see him at family functions once or twice a year but his parents stay in touch with mine, so I'm updated. He is one of the best and funniest people you'd ever want to meet (sober) but what a terror when he was using. Didn't mean to ramble on but your funny line provoked this memory. If he can do it anybody can cause he was so far gone, I thought he'd end up dead before clean. God works in mysterious ways.

[Walking Bad Habit (WBH)]

If your husband paints the house, mows the lawn, drains, & paints the pool, reshingles the roof, then vacumes the house all before dinner, he is probelly on crank. (Sorry I just thought a few people would think this is funny) If in fact your husband has only done crank twice that would be called trying it. Why did he even bring it up? Hopefully to let you know that he did not like it, & it will not be a problem. Beware users are great con people. If you know your husband well, you will know. No one has ever become a better person after going on crank, or any other drugs for that matter. ( remember crew, no one has ever said that so and so was a real jerk untill he went on drugs and lost every thing) good luck to all
                                      Paul

[alexandra_r]

Crank can be snorted, smoked, injected.  Hell you can even put it in tissue and put it up your ass (don't laugh--I know people who have done this).  All you need is mucus membrane.  If your husband only did it twice, then I would say forgive him and go on.  I find it hard to believe that your marriage wouldn't be showing some real strain that you would notice if there was a real drug problem.  He probably was afraid to tell you because of your views on drugs.  But the good thing is that he let you know now--coming clean is hard to do.  

I have known a lot of people who did crank/crystal/ice (it's all the same substance in one form or another).  You can always tell that they are high.  Staying up for days then sleeping for days when crashing, working on tedious little projects (like carving hieroglyphics on your front door), no appetite + extreme weight loss, mood swings.  When people get really strung out on crank, they can truly get psycho--it can bring out mental disturbances in people that were otherwise lying dormant.  They come into full force when the crank is introduced.

If you don't see these signs, be glad your husband came clean--don't harp on it.  Forgive and forget.  We're all just human and we all make mistakes.

[bmac]

They both suck!!If he's using,he's either smokin'it or
snorting it.Crank is speed and whatever else the man put into it like alittle crystal meth or heroin.
Crack is just a piece of ****.It ain't the way to do cocaine.
You can tell one on either because they look terrible.
Sweaty,clammy looking.Both make the heart pound in your chest and both are nasty ****.Well I guess I said that,didn't I!
                                    bmac

[tammygirl30]

crank is crystal meth isnt it? crack is cocaine that has been cooked and then smoked. crank can be snorted or smoked, it is hard to answer a post like this because this is a marriage and we dont know anything else about it.  i know that when i was pregnant or their was some sort of dramatic life curcumstance, my hubbie went through horrible crisis, he is not a drug addict but i had found during a few of these curcumstances he did  a drug or two.  It must have been very hard for him to admit he did that knowing what you thought about drugs, and having a new family, it sounds to me maybe he wanted to come clean with you, now if money starts comeing up missing (the stuff isnt cheap), constant runny or stuffy nose, track marks from needles, in and out all hours and you not knowing where,, ect  ect to me it is very easy to tell if someone is using crack or crank, talkative, cant stop moving, high energy, i dont know your entire situation, but in my opinion, he came clean to you and was honest with you and that had to be really hard for him knowing what he has to lose. i would just keep an eye on it, but also dont let it destroy you two,  also if i were you i would have a very serious converstation with him and tell him what you feel, and if by chance he does have a drug problem, help him help himself, drugs can make wonderful people into something they are not normally and quitting is quite a battle, but much easier if you have help and support of others take care and good luck tammy

[Sean5110]

I believe you indicated your husband did CRANK, not CRACK. It that is the case, crank is a type of speed, in a whole different drug category. I haven't done it (crank) but I'm sure many here have. Additionally, go to google and do a search on crank with some other key words (drugs, addiction, etc.).

But the key is not how to tell if he's on it or not. That's a game you should never sign up for. Cat and mouse, private detective, gottcha -- these can make the non-addict just as sick (if not sicker) than the addict. If the problem is truly in the past, you can risk holding onto trust (that is, if there is nothing else that appears to contradict what he is saying or doing).

There are support groups for those close to drug addicts and the basic premise is the kind of tough love that states simply and strongly the consequences of drug use (you define the consequences and stick to them). Again, while it appears that trust has been broken (he didn't tell you this earlier), that may not mean he is using drugs now. But please be aware that the potential exists for you yourself to get a bit unhealthy in the course of dealing with a drug addict. Utilize the abundant resources that are at your disposal, should things get to that point. Until then, tell your husband everything you feel and think and let him know some clear cut consequences should he decide to break trust again.

[winter68]

crack is smoked. it is a very nasty drug if someone is addicted to it. my ex-b/f was addicted and probably still is, it totally ruined our relationship. I could always tell when he had been smoking it cause he always got a certian look on his face. there eyes get really big, they sweat alot, look pale and pastey. plus youd notice a big change in his attitude, they can be mean or aggressive, or not make any sense, they repeat themselves, and can't stay still. its also makes it so they can't stay erect for long.my ex was always hiding in the bathroom with the door locked, and would leave a whole bunch of times during the night to get more.  they will use every bit of money they can to get high, and when they don't have it they act like a maniac. they will beg borrow and steal to get it. crack will consume your whole life if addicted to it. but doing it a few times isn't gonna make you a addict, so if he's not showing any of these signs I wouldn't worry about it much if he's a good man its not worth losing him over some mistakes that he's made, cause good men are really hard to find