Aa
Please help me understand (a question about NA and AA)
I was scrolling through some older posts and I came across a post about a person wanting to find treatment that did not use the NA/AA doctrine. No one really answered the question but more so discouraged the person by saying, "You'll never make it without it."
So my question is this, does NA/AA replace the addiction? I know for myself, and for my own recovery (and sanity) I wouldn't want meetings and communing with other addicts to become my new focal point. I would like to address the under lying issues of my addiction, understand them, and work on conquering them; or at the very least learn to live with them. In the beginning of my recovery I went to meetings, got a sponsor and started working on the steps but I didn't feel like I was getting to the root cause of my addiction. Only when I started cognitive therapy did I start to realize some of my deep-seated issues. I also started to become truthful with myself and others. This made a monumental difference in my recovery and in my over all mental health. When I advised my sponsor that I wanted to continue on my journey with my therapist and other recovering addicts that I could identify with she got highly upset and told me those same words, "You'll fail without it". I have been clean for almost six months...with one slip that is. When I would go to NA/AA I would almost feel that it was okay to relapse because it seemed to be expected. I hated that feeling. I wanted to feel that a relapse would produce unfavorable consquences and I had better, at all costs, avoid making them.
So can someone please help me to understand why some people sincerely believe, whole-heartedly that doom is imminent without NA/AA? But aside from this, when a person is seeking recovery why not encourage them no matter how they choose to do it?
So my question is this, does NA/AA replace the addiction? I know for myself, and for my own recovery (and sanity) I wouldn't want meetings and communing with other addicts to become my new focal point. I would like to address the under lying issues of my addiction, understand them, and work on conquering them; or at the very least learn to live with them. In the beginning of my recovery I went to meetings, got a sponsor and started working on the steps but I didn't feel like I was getting to the root cause of my addiction. Only when I started cognitive therapy did I start to realize some of my deep-seated issues. I also started to become truthful with myself and others. This made a monumental difference in my recovery and in my over all mental health. When I advised my sponsor that I wanted to continue on my journey with my therapist and other recovering addicts that I could identify with she got highly upset and told me those same words, "You'll fail without it". I have been clean for almost six months...with one slip that is. When I would go to NA/AA I would almost feel that it was okay to relapse because it seemed to be expected. I hated that feeling. I wanted to feel that a relapse would produce unfavorable consquences and I had better, at all costs, avoid making them.
So can someone please help me to understand why some people sincerely believe, whole-heartedly that doom is imminent without NA/AA? But aside from this, when a person is seeking recovery why not encourage them no matter how they choose to do it?
Actually, I pretty much concluded my quest for an answer with what Kova said...if you were to read the entire post. She said that there are fanatics in every group and I concurred by saying, You know what? You are right, and I never really looked at it from that aspect.
I am in agreement with Kova and now you that there are fanatics in every group and that is pretty much that. There is no argument here, nor am I looking to argue. I asked the question and got my answer. Also, when I post questions I do it for my own knowledge and also for others that may have a similar question. The reason why I posted this question is because I have seen other posts that didn't take too kindly to those who chose an alternate route and I decided to ask why.
I'm trying to getting anyone worked up here....I guess NA/AA falls under the same umbrella as religion, politics, race, child rearing...anything that people feel passionately about. It was not my intention to ruffle any feathers, just trying to get some clarification on the subject...which I did. So I guess that's pretty much it...no?
I am in agreement with Kova and now you that there are fanatics in every group and that is pretty much that. There is no argument here, nor am I looking to argue. I asked the question and got my answer. Also, when I post questions I do it for my own knowledge and also for others that may have a similar question. The reason why I posted this question is because I have seen other posts that didn't take too kindly to those who chose an alternate route and I decided to ask why.
I'm trying to getting anyone worked up here....I guess NA/AA falls under the same umbrella as religion, politics, race, child rearing...anything that people feel passionately about. It was not my intention to ruffle any feathers, just trying to get some clarification on the subject...which I did. So I guess that's pretty much it...no?
i have been very active in AA for the past 3 years, 3 months and 3 days (hmm, i didn't know THAT 3-3-3 business would happen - must be a lucky day for me to comment on AA).
i still average at least 6 meetings a week, so that puts me at over 1,000 meetings that i've attended in 3 states. perhaps it's a case of only seeing what you're looking for, but i have only found helpful, loving people "in the rooms."
i can't count the number of times i've asked for advice and been told "i can't tell you what to do, i can only tell you what worked and didn't work for me." in this time i've never been told anything that sounded remotely like "we're right and you're wrong."
when i was exposed to AA in the 80's my experience was very different - then it was a place with a lot of rules, people who thought they were better than me and people who wanted me to do things their way.
i am pretty certain that the difference is in me, not in AA.
i like to keep in mind what it says in How it Works: "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps."
CATUF
3-3-3
i still average at least 6 meetings a week, so that puts me at over 1,000 meetings that i've attended in 3 states. perhaps it's a case of only seeing what you're looking for, but i have only found helpful, loving people "in the rooms."
i can't count the number of times i've asked for advice and been told "i can't tell you what to do, i can only tell you what worked and didn't work for me." in this time i've never been told anything that sounded remotely like "we're right and you're wrong."
when i was exposed to AA in the 80's my experience was very different - then it was a place with a lot of rules, people who thought they were better than me and people who wanted me to do things their way.
i am pretty certain that the difference is in me, not in AA.
i like to keep in mind what it says in How it Works: "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps."
CATUF
3-3-3
na is the only way for me
not you
i am sorry that other people have given you the message that its na or no way
i have several friends who were saved in church, they have left na and a been clean for multiple years
i know others who have gotten addicted after car wrecks but were not addicts, after the drugs were out they were fine
i am not going to wasted my time convincing you that na is the only way because that is not true
if its not right for you, then move on
why do you care what others think about na, if you have already declared that it will not work for you
sounds like you are either looking to argue or wanting someone to convince you that na works
each na member is different, some are preachy, others are natzis, we even have the guys who are really laid back
12step memebers have traditions in place that help with these situations, we all have a common bond (addiction) which keeps us together, we also practice "principals before personalities" that way we concentrate more on the message than the person, you are not going to like everybody all the time, i am sure if you stick around long enough,, you will recieve some help
i can only help people who are going the 12step route, its what helped me and i know how to carry the na message
if someone is looking towards another method of recovery i back away and allow others to help them
good luck on your journey
i am here if you need to talk about the steps or traditions, but i will not argue the efficiency of na
not you
i am sorry that other people have given you the message that its na or no way
i have several friends who were saved in church, they have left na and a been clean for multiple years
i know others who have gotten addicted after car wrecks but were not addicts, after the drugs were out they were fine
i am not going to wasted my time convincing you that na is the only way because that is not true
if its not right for you, then move on
why do you care what others think about na, if you have already declared that it will not work for you
sounds like you are either looking to argue or wanting someone to convince you that na works
each na member is different, some are preachy, others are natzis, we even have the guys who are really laid back
12step memebers have traditions in place that help with these situations, we all have a common bond (addiction) which keeps us together, we also practice "principals before personalities" that way we concentrate more on the message than the person, you are not going to like everybody all the time, i am sure if you stick around long enough,, you will recieve some help
i can only help people who are going the 12step route, its what helped me and i know how to carry the na message
if someone is looking towards another method of recovery i back away and allow others to help them
good luck on your journey
i am here if you need to talk about the steps or traditions, but i will not argue the efficiency of na
i am just starting to recover and because of anger towards AA i almost didnt look for help here! my father is an alcholic and as a child when he joined to get clean it took over his life... meeting, outings, dances, ect.... we never saw him. dont get me wrong i'm glad he's sober 15 years now. should be longer but he relapsed after 5 cause no support system.... i refuse to go to AA but know know the importance of support. i have also worked with guys over the years and they always seemed to preach to me god first, aa second, family third!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! believe me i had many heated debates over this logic.... my kids always come first... even through these dark years of addiction i always made sure they were taken care of ! think thats one reason i never thought of myself as an addict. nice to see i'm not the only one who feels this way
why do some people try to tell you that their God is the only true one and you will burn in hell if you don't follow him? ther are always fanatics in every group.
Kova
Kova
Really, the whole point of this post was why NA/AAers seem to tear down anything and anyone that doesn't stay in line within the doctrine of the program. I already know what I need to do and what works for me, so I'm not looking for personal advice. Just some input on that particular topic....I can google NA/AA and find stats, rehab programs...all that good stuff but that isn't question really.
I guess maybe I should direct the question to people that attend the meetings and ask why do you believe NA/AA is the only way since it's the way that worked for you?
I guess maybe I should direct the question to people that attend the meetings and ask why do you believe NA/AA is the only way since it's the way that worked for you?
Many aspects of NA are helping me but I'm learning that I don't have to be obsessed with meetings like many are at the ones I go to...and maybe they need that. I don't want it to be as big a part of my life after I have maybe a year. Did you read the post on NA under health pages? I found it to have truth to it. Best of luck, Corey
I've spent time in day programs, halfway houses and other places that rely on NA/AA so I can give you my opinion. From my own experience they don't want to believe that they could possibly be wrong about their own belief system. One woman who we referred to as "the NA Nazi" told me that if I didn't go to meetings regularly I would die. Well, I don't and I'm still alive! Also, many people that make those comments are saying it based on their own experience. NA/AA can be a wonderful thing for some people, and not so wonderful for others. FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE the people I've met that are really into meetings and steps tend to be preachers... Identical to bible thumpers... Really in your face 'we're right and you're wrong' mentality. I know that not everyone is like that but I had a less than stellar experience with people in meetings. Like Avis said - you can absolutely still stay clean with other methods. Alot of us here are proof of that but everyone believes in something different. :)
I don't discredit at all that aa/na are great programs but there are still ways to stay clean other then aa/na.. I totally recommend trying it but it wont be a fit for everyone .You can still stay clean with other programs
HI,
I am an a addict, alcoholic. The addict part is relativly new. But the alcohol part has been in my life a long time.
I finaly got sober at AA. It took a year for me to get 90 days sober all at once and i buildt that up to six years sober. I relocated and stopped going to meetings, reading the big book, and had no new sponsor. I lasted about four months and i was drinking again, right at the same pace I was when I got quit initialy. All becuase I thought I was all healed up and had six years sober.
My opinion of the steps are to include finding out whats eating you inside driving you to the addiction. It was step four and five were we came clean about all the bad stuff we had done in our lives and turned those over to a God of our understanding. I no longer had to carry around the trash in my life. It also stopped from making new trash.
AA and NA are a maintance program. Its after care. Addiction is not like a cold or flue, that when you feel better and are all healed up, your done with it till the next exposure. Becuase of the temptations in life, its an excellent idea to have a maintance program in your life if your and addict.
For me, its was like a operators manuel or instruction manuel for the humand mind. It gives you guidlines and suggestions to live by, and there damn good. Not only did I get sober with AA, it sorted out so much **** in my life and even my personality. getting clean and sober is just a part of AA, NA. The program has soooo much more to it that you can use in everyday life. I could go on and on about this topic.
I also think being around other addicts and drinkers helps you to understand you are not unique. And you will never find a nicer, more honest group of people then those that have sucessfully worked or working the 12 steps.
Ya know, when i first went to AA, I was so afraid they were going to turn me into a "God-Boy". And it wasant like that at all. I was left to make my own choices of spirtuality, define MY higher power and even religion if i wanted it in my life.
Theres so much more I could say,
peace,
-Dez
I am an a addict, alcoholic. The addict part is relativly new. But the alcohol part has been in my life a long time.
I finaly got sober at AA. It took a year for me to get 90 days sober all at once and i buildt that up to six years sober. I relocated and stopped going to meetings, reading the big book, and had no new sponsor. I lasted about four months and i was drinking again, right at the same pace I was when I got quit initialy. All becuase I thought I was all healed up and had six years sober.
My opinion of the steps are to include finding out whats eating you inside driving you to the addiction. It was step four and five were we came clean about all the bad stuff we had done in our lives and turned those over to a God of our understanding. I no longer had to carry around the trash in my life. It also stopped from making new trash.
AA and NA are a maintance program. Its after care. Addiction is not like a cold or flue, that when you feel better and are all healed up, your done with it till the next exposure. Becuase of the temptations in life, its an excellent idea to have a maintance program in your life if your and addict.
For me, its was like a operators manuel or instruction manuel for the humand mind. It gives you guidlines and suggestions to live by, and there damn good. Not only did I get sober with AA, it sorted out so much **** in my life and even my personality. getting clean and sober is just a part of AA, NA. The program has soooo much more to it that you can use in everyday life. I could go on and on about this topic.
I also think being around other addicts and drinkers helps you to understand you are not unique. And you will never find a nicer, more honest group of people then those that have sucessfully worked or working the 12 steps.
Ya know, when i first went to AA, I was so afraid they were going to turn me into a "God-Boy". And it wasant like that at all. I was left to make my own choices of spirtuality, define MY higher power and even religion if i wanted it in my life.
Theres so much more I could say,
peace,
-Dez
Well MTgoat I said I was clean without any recovery care for 6 months .I have been clean over a year now with therapy .I can't tell you where I will be in four years because it take it one day at a time ....I am only worried about staying clean today then tommrow I will just worry about staying clean tomorrow
one more thing, i never tell people they will not make it without na
maybe your sponsor should have kept that to herself/himself
when i sponsor someone who is heading in a different direction than what is suggested in na, i will let them go
it does little good to tell someone they wont make it
no one knows the plan
it maybe losing your job, house, health
it may be leading the recovery meetings at your church
or you may end up back in na with a new perspective
good luck to you
maybe your sponsor should have kept that to herself/himself
when i sponsor someone who is heading in a different direction than what is suggested in na, i will let them go
it does little good to tell someone they wont make it
no one knows the plan
it maybe losing your job, house, health
it may be leading the recovery meetings at your church
or you may end up back in na with a new perspective
good luck to you
i have stayed clean for over a year without na
but i still relasped, now i have been clean for 4 yrs
lets see where you are in 4yrs
not being sarcostic, i am very serious, 6 months is not that long to stay clean
statistically speacking na/aa works best for addicts
why do you think all the treatment centers use the 12steps
millions of dollars have been spent on research yet even the most world renowned treatment centers rely on the 12steps
like i said, see where you are at in a few years
na is for people who have tried medicine, religion and therapy, if the therapy is working for you then you dont seem to need na
but then again na is not for people who need it, its for people who want it
but i still relasped, now i have been clean for 4 yrs
lets see where you are in 4yrs
not being sarcostic, i am very serious, 6 months is not that long to stay clean
statistically speacking na/aa works best for addicts
why do you think all the treatment centers use the 12steps
millions of dollars have been spent on research yet even the most world renowned treatment centers rely on the 12steps
like i said, see where you are at in a few years
na is for people who have tried medicine, religion and therapy, if the therapy is working for you then you dont seem to need na
but then again na is not for people who need it, its for people who want it
Yeah I dont know why its is not just na /aa that works .Some people are like that but other are more relaxed about it .Na/aa would never work for me ...I have to have one on one .I am gald aa works great for some but you can remain clean without it .It sounds like you have a great support system it sure does help doesn't it ...
I do have a support system...something that I learned I needed the third time around the park so to speak. I tried NA...it helped me with the crazy thoughts that withdrawal brings, but when the w/d wore off I felt I needed something more. I see my therapist weekly, sometimes twice weekly. I work very hard on my personal issues that contribute to my addictions. I have a genetic predisposition for addiction. SO I already have the proverbial gun...I just have to avoid behaviors that tend to "load" that gun.
I get weak moments like everyone here and I do have a few special people who have been down the same road (some recovered, some not).
I know what is working for me, and I am confident in my decision. But the question that I have is why do some people make it point to discourage those who try to do it another way besides the 12 step program?
I get weak moments like everyone here and I do have a few special people who have been down the same road (some recovered, some not).
I know what is working for me, and I am confident in my decision. But the question that I have is why do some people make it point to discourage those who try to do it another way besides the 12 step program?
A lot of people swear by AA/NA ,from what I can tell its a great program but its not a good fit for everyone .There are other options for aftercare ,but if you want to stay clean long term you need something ....There is something called smart recovery , You can see an addiction specialist or a therapist even a church pastor .I see a therapist every other week it is what works for me .I try my first time without any aftercare .I relapsed between5 and 6 months .I have managed to stay stay clean a year now . When things get rough I can call her she can see me ..The board is great and it really helps but you need more of a support system then it can give all on it own. It cant hurt to try aa or na and see what you think
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
