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My Short Addiction Story

So I'll try to make this quick:

I received my first vicodin prescription almost exactly 1 year ago. I have battled back pain for several years (the price of four years of intercollegiate athletics), and my dad has used narcotic painkillers to treat his back pain for years. And guess what?? It alleviated my back pain. Unfortunately, deep down I knew that I never really needed that level of pain management and was probably rationalizing my desire for a high.

So this is how I worked it for the next year: Get 30 vicodin, finish them in 6-10 days depending on my stress level, wait three weeks to avoid concerns from my MD, request refill and the cycle starts all over. Didn't even realize how much I had taken until I opened the desk drawer I kept the bottles in and saw 12-14.

I had also experimented with oxycontin in college and had never considered it until my younger brother told me had done it a summer camp when he was 17. In college, I probably would have done more of it but it was so damn expensive that I couldn't afford it. Fast forward to June of 2008 and I have started doing it again with my younger brother. It was very sporadic use , but I still felt the grip it had on me. At this time, I would do a little OC, lay off it but take a couple vicodin, lay off the vicodin and drink a couple drinks a night; you get the picture.

In the beginning of August 2008, I started doing OC pretty consistently. This means splitting an 80 mg OC with my brother once every other day. I know that this does not seem like a lot to many of you, but it was for me. I used like this for about three weeks and on Monday 9/1/08, I started using about 80 mg/day (snorting and smoking). Anyway, I decided that I needed to stop after last saturday night. I started going through withdrawals on Monday morning (yesterday) and took a vicodin last night to alleviate the symptoms.

I woke up at 5 am today and decided to write this post. I feel like I am at one of those spots where the road diverges and I can chose one of two ways to go: use again or don't. I know that I do not have extensive use history and my withdrawals won't be as bad as some of those described in these posts, but they will be if I choose to use again. One thing I've been asking myself recently is: "When I am retired, have grandkids, and approaching the end of my life, how do I want to look back at everything I have experienced and remember the things that I did during my time?" I do not think addiction is something I want in that vision.

On a separate question: will I have to go through all of the same withdrawal symptoms in a day and a half because I took one vicodin last night or will that help in a kind of weening off process? I was at the 48 hour point when I took it last night and it helped tremendously. I hope I haven't just delayed the worst symptoms again.

I hope this post does something for someone in my position, at the beginning of what could become something much worse. I also wanted to thank all of you in advance for your support just by reading this post.

8 Responses
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Avatar universal
Just wanted to comment that I just got back from an intense workout and I feel great. Almost as good as I felt last night when I took the vicodin. I definitely recommend working out to anybody that is experiencing minor withdrawal symptoms.
Helpful - 0
597547 tn?1251036764
if u can make urself workout/run, definately a huge boost physically n mentally
Helpful - 0
597547 tn?1251036764
my storys very similar
snorting 60 to 80 mg a day for 3 mo's

i used vic's for a couple of days without the oxy to try n ease my way into sobriety

my wd's started bad the 1st day wout vics

but u can do it, 3 to 4 days of bad flu like stuff, and you'll be past the worst and on ur way
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Avatar universal
listen to Akeem, i'm on day 8, doing 160mgs of ox a day approx 6yrs, run walk bike, keep your mind and body occupied, hot showers also help, time time time, stay strong, i'm no doc but if you can go cold turkey, I wanted soooo bad to take something to help me through it, But did not, on day 4 and 5 I was glad i did'nt, if it gets to bad to handle call doc, I wish you the best,
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Avatar universal
Hi, I'm coming off of tramadol.  and like you, my addiction history isn't that long, and sporadic, but nonetheless, it's an addiction.  I was told days 3 and 4, are the worst, and for the most part they are right.  If you haven't taken another vic, I wouldn't, try as hard as you can, get just get thru it. If you can, find something that will help you sleep.  In the Medical Health pages, there are two articles for amino acid protocol and the thomas recipe for wi/drawl.  I didn't do the thomas, but am trying the amino acids, and so far so good, I'm nt taking all of them yet, but what I am is helping a great deal.  You might find comfort in it as well.  I did the same thing as you as well, on day 3 I took one pill, now for me, as taking 5 trams at a shot, one was nothing, I still hate myself for doing it.  I'm glad it brought relief for you, but not so sure that's the best way. Although, maybe a taper would work for you, as long as you taper.  For me, a taper is out of the question, I am the "next time, next time" person, next time I'll only take 3 instead of 5.  So it's all or nothing.  I'm doing great now on day 5, well two if you start the clock over b/c of the one I took and I shoudl but...I feel great.  Still get cravings, and the thought of pills of any sort are in my head, not to mention I have migraine issues, so I'm always going to have some meds to take b/c I refuse to suffer thru them. :(  

I'm rambling, but I think taking one to releive the symptons is delaying the inevitable of the actual w/drawls, that your body HAS to go thru, it's a given, there is no way around it. If you MUST, maybe cut them in half.  Do you have someone that you can give any supplise you have to hold on too, so your not tempted?  let them dose them out to you if need be?  

Good luck to you!!!  If I can do it.....man so can you, b/c I was NEVER a pill popper for anything, now I think my toe nail hurts I'mt hining I need a drip. :(  sad, really sad.  But I'm doing good, working thru it, and I have my friends to talk too!!  You need that.  You need to have someone to call and say man I'm jonesing..and just talk it thru and get on with your day.  

I don't always convey what I want to say best in writing, so I hope none of this came out wrong. :)

Good luck!!
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Avatar universal
Thanks. I appreciate the advice. I plan on working out today cuz I think it will help. It's tough getting out of the house when my body feels so physically weak. I have also taken the last two days off work. Definitely needed to.
Helpful - 0
598514 tn?1285749594
It helps that your I hope still athletic?  I am now on day 3 I have called into work and took the rest of the week off.  I am going to workout twice a day and sweat this $%&! outtame!  St John's wort has helped tremendously as have 3 protein shakes a day.  Even when lethargy comes on I will find something to do as I suggest for you.  Remember your pain rectors are screaming to be filled, give your body something else to worry about!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hard to say about how your WDs will be.  48 hours is a lot to go through with the oxys!  maybe the vic will just help you ween.
good luck to you.  you are doing the right thing.

Kova
Helpful - 0
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