My fiance is on methadone and we have a 6 month old baby

[Sconrad]

I am a 26 year old vet that is a student currently and graduating this May, and my fiance is on methadone and has been for a year and a half...before that she was addicted to oxy's. We have a 6 month old baby that is just amazing, but she had to be in the NICU at the hospital for 2 and half months since my fiance was on 80 mg of methadone during pregnancy.  Long story short ever since she has been on methadone my life has been a living hell. I can count the times we have had sex on my fingers and toes, and the times we had good sex on one hand...not using all of my fingers. Not to sound vain, but we are both really attractive and ****** like rabbits before the methadone. I know having a baby slows things down a bit, but the methadone seemed to zapp all off the life out of her.  She says I don't help enough with the baby when in fact 6 days out of the week I do the 6 am to 8 am shift and then she naps until 9 or 10 and then mommy takes over so I can go to school, work (wating tables) or surf (to keep sane). I cook more than her and I clean some but I admit she does more and she feeds the baby during the night a couple times, but also she isn't going to school or working at the moment since we have the baby.  We bicker and fight non-stop about supid **** that I don't even care about, but don't want to tell her she is right when she is obviously not  I feel like, and she never stops telling me how much I don't help out, and when I try and defend myself she laughs and pretends I do nothing. She tapered from 80 to 25mg in 2 weeks because her insurance stopped and the withdrawls were kicking her *** so I needed to start helping with the baby more..I started missing school so I only could help so much so I wouldn't fail out this close to graduation. So our predicamite is that even After I graduate I need to start workign more and she needs at least 2 to 3 weeks of detoxing time and what are we suppose to do becasue we son't have any family to help out and can't afford babbysitting. and since insurance is out the methadoen bill is racking up every day... she says it's not all the methadones fault, but ever since I had to watch my baby girl taper off of it for 2 and  a half months and all the relationship problems we are having and I feel like she is just not herself anymore and it's all this stupid ******* drugs fault... am I wrong?

[meecepeece]

yes you are wrong, because I had a baby on 110 Mgs of methadone, the baby was fine, didnt even need a detox, and I was fine.I have never seen anyone on methadone act that way in my entire 18 years of direct experience on and with those on that drug. I am also still on methadone and I am just as active as ever, I go out, I have sex like a normal person, and Methadone has done nothing but help me as well as others I know well in their lives. everyone tries to blame methadone for all their damn problems. Shes probably depressed, probably has post partum depression, that's what it sounds like for sure. She and you are both using that as the big excuse for whats really going on.And as far as the sex goes, I enjoy sex the same or moreso on methadone.No one else Ive asked seems to have that issue she has. Maybe another drug (med) is causing it? Antidepressants can stop sexual desire. SO CAN HAVING A BABY. Layoff about that, you sound like a big whiny person in my opinion. Stop blaming methadone.Youre better off living without Oxi addiction, and finding the real issue.

[marycarmel]

No suggestions for the methadone except to listen to the "experts" like Gnarly.  If you have no one to help with the baby, try local churches and schools' youth groups.  Most kids do volunteer hours.  I know my oldest at 12 was as good with newborns and infants as I was ... she was the oldest of 4 and had to help out.  You'd need to get references and all that, but it could give you guys a break and time to get through this.

[gnarly_1]

HI I agree with Sara on all counts your girl is sick sick if she droped from 80 to 25 in 2 weeks that normally would take a few months
try to be pacent with her she is trying to get off it is also harder to go from 20 to 0 then 80 to 25 there is no ez way to do this your going to need help wirth thre baby as she does this and recovery can be slow methadone is a monster to kick even after you stop taking it I feel for you and it not fare you have to go threw this but if your a couple you in it together  so be as supportive as you can your girl is dope sick and is going to be for a wile you guys will get past all this but for now your just going to have to takev up the slack keep posting for support good luck and God bless.....Gnarly

[dominosarah]

No you arent wrong.  Methadone is a very hard drug to come off.  Her emotions are all over the place.  Does she plan on getting any recovery care?  That would be very helpful once she is off methadone.  We have to face our demons.  Your sex life will come back once she is off this stuff.  Narcotics play he!! on it.    It numbs everything up.  Have you told her about this site?  We would be more than happy to talk and support her also.  You have alot on your plate right now.  Make sure you get your education done with.  That is very important right now.  Do you have some close friends that could help with the baby?  Keep talking to us~~sara