NEIGHBOR THINKS HUSBAND IS ON HERION

[Downey]

My neigbor and her husband have lived next door to us for about 3  years.  He just got back from Iraq about 3 months ago because he broke his arm in several places and it's healed and he is back at work. She is such a sweet young lady was always willing to help me when I was on crutches and we became friends. She told me this weekend that her husband goes into the bathroom almost everyday after work and spends about 30 minutes in there and hes not taking a shower. She says when he comes out he sits on the couch and just starts falling alseep. She said he can't even hold his head up  It would be hard to tell if he has track marks because he has tattoes (sp) all over his arms and since he got back he has gotten more. She says money is tight, but he should be making more because he works overtime. He's a tow truck driver and the other day when he came home she was doing laundry and he wouldn't take his pants off so she could wash them. They have been married for about 6 years and she said he never did any drugs but she is worried about him since he came back from Iraq.

I told her several weeks ago about this forum because she asked if I was still on medication for my knee. Several times when my husband was out of town she would pick up my pills for me because I couldn't drive. She asked me to post this for her because she didn't want to use her own computer so I'm trying to return the favor. So any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
The reason she thinks he maybe on herion is because she saw an episode of the Sopranos where someone had shot up heroin and she says her husband looks the same way when he comes out of the bathroom.

Jules

[sheila47]

When people listen to their Heavenly Father and stop behaving like they know more than God they will fair better.  Hard heads make a soft behind.  Wise up people.

[cathy5841]

ppl do not control their DOC....if they did there would be nothing called addiction.  we would all be recreational users.  i have to agree with addicted me....please be careful of the advice you give.  of course you can overcome heroin use.  ther have been many here that have.  i hope they chime in soon.

[addictedme]

UPDATE,,,I didnt read your last statement about him controling the drug,,,add it to the list of other wrong advice in your post, sorry if I"ve offended you but this is a forum of good advice and support not "all is lost,,you"ll never be well.

[cathy5841]

okay gotta put in my 2 cents.  first of my son is a marine.  been on tours to iraq.  he didnt like it, but didnt complain and did NOT return hooked on dope of anykind.  so that is no excuse.  and further more, addiction hurts everyone we love.  i  am speaking from both sides of the fence here.  my daughter is an addict and every day i am hurt by the poor choices she makes.  her son will suffer the choices she has made.  she is in w/ds right now and says she will not do drugs again.  we will see.   as a recovering addict that has 6 months clean time i see all the pain i caused to those around me.  addiction hurts everyone.  mostly those that love us.

[addictedme]

Heroin is NOT impossible to kick and your statement that once you try it your a lifer is about as wrong a statement as one could make except for the one about his addiction not causing any direct harm to her,,,,really ?

[bluemann33]

My brother in law and cousin have both been to Iraq, brother in law vol. for a second tour. Never said it wasnt rough for them just that I cant stand when people blame the government for troops going over there. There is no draft so its thier joice to join (and GOD bless everyone of them). They joined, alot after the war sarted, If they dont want to go to or may have to go to war why join?  Most troops dont complain its the ones that join then complain cause they had to go and fight for our country that erk me.

[MizDemeanor]

Just to play devils advocate, I wanted to put something out there for you to think on:
Yes, the soldiers DID volunteer. But, let me tell you a story about a personal experience. My son is a Major in JROTC (air force) in his high school. About April of this year, the recruiters descended, and he was bombarded by offers to enlist. They promised him everything from "free college" and "stateside duty". Now come on, recruiters do not have that power. They are not "bad" people but their job is to enlist soldiers. Now, how do you think a 17 yo boy is going to respond to hearing what a great patriot he would be to enlist and how "college students dont get deployed til last", etc. I had to literally FIGHT him (not physically of course) to get him to realize that he should go to college FIRST and then if he still wants to pursue a military career, then he's old enough to make that decision. The recruiters actually wanted me to sign papers for him when he was 17. Sorry Im not making that decision in his life. I actually told 2 of them to leave my house when they showed up unnannounced to try to talk me into this.
On the other hand, many soliders are NOT kids, they enlist to provide themselves (and/or their family) with security. They are still like the younger ones, they get dropped off in the desert with a high powered gun,  a few MRE's, and a "good luck". Believe me, I know some soldiers so this isnt made up. Do you know that soldiers use FLEA COLLARS around their wrists and ankles to keep the sand fleas off of them? Yep, relegated to dog status, but hey they do what they have to do to make it out of there.
Last of my rant is....if WE could become addicted, living civilian lives that more than likely are not on the line every day (except for law enforcement type jobs, firemen, etc), then what makes us think that someone living total hell, watching their buddies die or worse, maimed for life, would not turn to a substance to "escape".
Not trying to be riding you and please dont take it personally, I just wanted you to think about it. Truly there is much more to what they "think they have to do" than run a few miles and pick up a check.
We have military folks here and they have been through more than they should ever have had to go through. I just want you to think about what life may have been like for us if we had to face those daily horrors.
Peace~

[cathy5841]

i jusy wanted to let you know that my daughter when she was on oxycontin would nod of in mid sentence, while eating or driving for that matter.  she also injected it.  so when she is looking for signs look for a spoon used to melt the drug in.  wishing her luck and sending prayers.
cathy

[bluemann33]

The best thing to do is to ask him, be nosey. By the way jeska ALL soldiers in Iraq joined vol. Not to turn this in to a war debate but when you join,what do you think you are going to do? Sit around, run a few miles every month and get a check? The military sometimes go to war. If I didnt want to fly in airpalnes I wouldnt become a piolet.

[LIZZIE LOU]

my son davis (the crack addict) spent alot of time in the bathroom.  his baths seemed to go on forever!!!  i was sitting here one night and it hit me...the HOT water could not still be coming out hot.  so i went to the kitchen sink and turned the hot water on.  funny thing...it never got hot...but he still had the water running full blast.

RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tell your friend to SEARCH the bathroom...really search.  she will probably find signs of whatever it is he is doing.  i found cut up straws and the clear small plastic baggies in the bandaid box!!!

[jeska]

I've heard a lot about soldiers picking up habits overseas because the availability of it is much better and the soldiers get so down and out depressed when they dont wanna be at war that they're turning to anything to pass the time. desperation out of feeling helpless and controlled by a gov't who doesn't even care about the lives of these men they just see numbers $$$. its so sad how lives r expendable to politicians who are so rich they forget about the working class man.
anyway sorry, but yeah the soldiers return home to find that heroin is IMPOSSIBLE to kick (trust me on that one, once u try it ur pretty much a lifer.)
if she wants him to stop, tell her to prepare for a battle or all out war. he will agree that he needs to quit but then sneak behind her back, lie to her, but with no wish if ill will toward her, but that drug is a beast that rules your life to some extent always.
but he may be using it as a coping mechanism for the **** he saw overseas. so have patience with him and dont leave him over it because hes not causing you any direct harm by doing it, if u can live with the addiction just make sure he has control over the drug rather than the drug having full control over him and his actions and attitudes,

[virgo1969]

I had a friend who was using herion and he would nod off right in the middle of a conversation or as mentioned above, while eating. This does not happen normally unless perhaps the person has narcolepsy or something of the sort. The bathroom trips are obviously a tell tale sign that he is doing something. Does he have any moraphine or any other strong narcotics left that were perhaps prescribed to him for his arm? Maybe he's abusing those. War can really change a person. Some come back not even resembling the person they were before they went over there. My prayers and best wishes for her and god bless you for helping her.

[lostdreams]

I agree with theeagle, regular bathroom checks and falling asleep while eating does not sound good.
When i moved in back in with my parents after splitting with the ex, i constantly went to the bathroom for my fix, and falling asleep with food in my mouth, when i had the energy to eat that is that is!
My thoughts will be with you all and i hope you are able to sort this out.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Oh jeez - you would have to have details. From my experience...and i have done this....the only time you fall asleep with food in your mouth  you have chemical assistance. Has this become a regular habit? Sad is correct about the other symptoms...but a regular bathrom trip and a nap doesnt sound good.

[Downey]

I'm guilty of watching the Soprano's too. I think she made the assessment on the fact that he starts falling asleep right after coming out of the bathroom. She said she made him a sandwich and he fell asleep in the middle of eating it. She says as long as she has known him he as never done that. It's just a bunch of things he has been doing he never did before he went to Iraq.

I have really become quite fond of this young lady and I'm grateful for all the things she has done for me when I was laid up and I just don't know what to tell her other than.

ASK HIM

Jules

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Its not impossible that the husband is doing heroin. And yes, it can be done in many ways. And from what I hear there is plenty in the mid east.  I just don't believe that someone watches the Soprano's and becomes skilled enough to make that assessment. Wishing you the best........

[lostdreams]

Heroin doesnt have to be injected! It can be taken a few ways. I was a H user for 8+years. I'm only going off what happened to me but a couple of signs could be: Pupils would be almost non-exsistent, very very tiny. I got a husky voice when i used larger amounts. Itching/crawling skin, constantly stratching (only with high doses with me though). Anyway, thats just a few.
Like sadinmichigan said, it could be a number of different things, not necessarily H. Feel free to pm me.
I hope it all works out for your friend and i hope it isn't heroin or any other drug for that matter. Take care

[Downey]

she thinks  it's heroin after watching an episode of the Sopranos where one guy shot up heroin and did the same thing her husband does and just nodded off  to sleep.

[sadinmichigan]

heroin can be snorted ,,Has your friend tried asking her husband about this?  I hope that her husband is not doing heroin but if he is there is nothing you could do about it except to confront him and ask him to get help..There are many drugs that give people the same look ..Why would she suspect heroin inparticular?