fighting the urge

[Kendraerika]

I threw my pills Monday so Im thankful for that bc I am fighting the urge to make this feeling go away. The thing keeping me the strongest is knowing Im going through wd so my baby doesn't. Also, I have a great friend who is sticking with me every step of the way, as well as my husband and this forum. It sometimes becomes a minutely struggle to push through the urges, pain, and this awful feeling. Im going to try to find the motivation to do laundry, bathe my daughter and if I can do dishes. Once again her nap will be my hot shower time which besides sleep and driving is my only excape, if only it didn't cause me feet to swell!

[IwillDoThis]

you do have a VERY full plate it sounds like and yes intellectually you can say "I can't believe I want that pill" and I get it but once you've had those pills you want that pill no matter what.  That something I think only someone who has been there can know.  Just take it one moment at a time and keep your eye on the prize - sobriety and all you have to lose.

We may always want that pill, I mostly don't think about it but it does creep in so I know it's in there lurking.  Like this morning at 65 days I woke up at 3 am with the creepy crawlies out of nowhere and I have them again right now, I so wish I could take a pill and make it go away but I know I cannot, I will not - so I busy myself with other things.

I know you are struggling hon but you can do this, you must do this.  Sounds like the therapist appt is just in time and it sounds like you are doing everything you can.  It was brave of you to just c/t and you are doing the other things to manage pain which is all good stuff.

You are on the path girl, one foot in front of the other.  Big Hugs to you!  I'm pulling for you!

[Kendraerika]

I am using heat ice showers tylenol chiropractor massage from the hubby and myself to manage pain. The abdominal tear there is nothing that can be done to relieve that, Im told. It will heal when baby is born.
Im feeling very overwhelmed. I see my therapist tmrw and have an ultrasound due to baby measuring small. I have the baby to get ready for, a daughter to care for, a business to help with, household chores, babies health, my health, my pain, Easter, a depressed husband who has developed anxiety, and just lost his mom, his dad passes a yr ago, and it seems to be piling up and the wd on top of it and the cravings are almost too much. I feel myself breaking , and my shortcoming is I act so strong when Im not, and Im crushing. My Dr was still tapering me, I chose to take the plunge with her OK, bc I want what's best for my baby. Im proud if that and my 3days, I just feel like s*** bc I can't believe I actually want a darn pill. I have a baby in me. Im a good mom, my kids are my life, how can I even want one? This *****.

[IwillDoThis]

Also forgot this but are you looking for other ways to manage your pain?  I don't know what your pain is but there are other things you can do which might help distract you if you were researching your options.  Getting educated and searching out new options makes me feel more in control of my situation and now I have a whole arsenal of things I can turn to rather than just wishing for a pill.  You are doing great!

[IwillDoThis]

good for you, if you feel like taking a pill to make it better think of that baby and how you have to do this, I wouldn't want child protective services involved in my life in any way shape or form so that has got to be good motivation.  Minute by minute is the way to go at this point and just know that you will feel so much better by this time next week.   A support group might be really helpful for you right now in dealing with the mental stuff.  I wish ya well hon!  Take care of yourself and that baby