Need Avice (addicton to Opiates)

[Krit722]

Hey everyone...Im new to all of this and found the site after I googled  
" how to get clean off of percocet" After reading some of these posts I think this may be a good start cause I surely need to vent and I am crying for help for the 1st time. Here it goes..My names Kristy and Im a serious opiate addict. It started about 2 years ago with a few dental procedures and soo forth. At first I had taken them as precribed and actually didnt even like them much. They had only made me feel wierd. To make a long story short, with time I began taking more and more and now I see no doctors at all but someone very close to me sees them and gets precribed an enormous amount of 10's, 30's and Oxy 80's. Im positive I left some out, I just dont keep track but even me as an addict knows its insane and the doctors are absolutely crooked to do so. Anyway my habit is now extreme. He gives me a total of about 5 80's a day when he has only them left, and Id say when he only has 30's I get approximately 20 a day and when he has 10's I am taking 3 or 4 at a time and with each pill I am taking them every 2 hours like clockwork. Depending on the pill or strength it varies the qauntity but still every 2 hours. My body is on like an internal clock, I dont even have to know the time and when it hits 2 hours after my last dose I start snapping, get moody, have crying fits, cant stop sniffling, get the chills etc. My life is controlled and consumed by these pills. Its at the point I know it has to stop, or I am gonna die. Its cause relationship problems and my marriage is about to fail. I also am a mother and so far I dont feel it has affected my ability to be a parent but I know thats coming. I literally cannot get out of bed if them pills arent close to my bedside with a drink. I have to swallow that first set of pills just to climb outta bed or I will stay there all day. I dont wanna stop, Im dreading it. I dont even like gettin high anymore, I just dont know any different and cant imagine life without it. Im a whole different person without them,IM Miserable without them and no1 wants to be around me but I cannot do this anymore. I need help, Im scared and I am killing myself. I need advice on how to get clean.Please any help or advice would be very much appreciated.Thankyou

[Krit722]

Everything you described is pretty much me, My husband is supporting me as far a weaning me off but I gotta say tonight I had to listen to alotta negative comments and that better change too or I will leave myself. I had to head.."heres your drugs since thats all you f'in care about" and alotta other inconsiderate,very ignorant things when fact is he has alotta nerve and I feel soo hurt I even talked to him now cuz here I am pouring my heart out to him (the one giving me the d*amn things btw) and telling him I wanna better myself and get off drugs for good. Do it the right way so it works and get my life back and then he could say that to me..It was so cruel and like a slap in the face. I hope he atleast keeps his word about everything else but we'll see.I have to worry about me though and not stress myself more about him or our relationship as you should. Its takes alot to do that sooo I know how much it hurts to be treated horrible and differently. I wish you the best. Feel free to message me whenever because really we have experienced and/or are expieriencing alot of the same things and it would be nice to have someone else to talk to about it and not be judged. I myself am doing all the same things, I couldnt even take my kid to a birthday party at Chuckee Cheeses 2 wks ago without having a bottle with me and extra pills in my system before I even went. Its really tough and its soo sad. I cant live like this anymore. Goodluck with everything, Ill be thinking of you. Thanks soo much for the post. KIT

[bandnmom]

Like I said b4 good luck. I also am a mom and I found myself scheduling things around my addiction. Plans to go to the zoo...only if i had my pills etc....Now i am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am a drug free functioning mom again. You are lucky you have a husband that will help u threw this. When i came clean to my hubby he changed. He treats me and talks to me like s**t now. I can't stand it. But i am not giving in. I'm staying strong. I would love to take a pill or 2 or 3 but I have come so far and i never ever want to go back. When i have a bad day i go look at my 2 little kids sleeping and i remember why i got clean. Its a way to help me remember why i need and want to stay clean. My kids need me and if my hubby doesn't change i'm going to end up leaving and doing this all on my own and then they will really need me.the clean mom that they deserve!! Look at my journal its has my story.

[angel44240]

You're definitely on the right track.. Sound exactly like me when I finally stopped taking the 'evil pill'.. (what my mom used to call them) If it weren't for everyone here, I don't know if I would have made it! lol.. they helped tremendously!
Keep us posted daily and let us know how you're doing,k?
Lots of Love!
Alli

[toxictome]

You should be proud of yourself...it takes alot of courage to stop using...it will be hard.....but you can do it.You sound strong willed and I remember we always say in AA...  "pain is the touchstone of all growth.   I'm rooting for you!

[hopsing94]

Thats good to hear. Krissy it's gonna be hard but you sound determined. I have tapered before and it is almost like a slow death. I know you want it overwith now but you will need to take it slow. The thing about tapering is it's like dieting if you attack it to fast you end up worse than you were. Be patient with it and take it slow. Ease yourselves down and if you get to a point where you pretty low in your does maybe then just go for it c/t and get it over with. We will be praying for both of you. We are here for you guys all the way. I can tell your from pa.. I am originally from pitt and I used to say yous guys and yinns all the time. It's funny to hear that again. Good luck and remember we are here for ya.

[Krit722]

im happy too...i was pretty nervous about it. Im absolutely ready to taper off now and I will be posting through all of it. Thanks I can honestly say Im proud of me too and thats the 1st time I could truly say that in a very long tim