Need WD support network this week - can you help?

[MeganDowney]

Hello everyone,

I am inspired by your words of support. I am about to start a FOREVER detox and am hoping I can turn to you for my own support over the next few days.

I have been using vicodin as needed for the past few years for a condition in my spine. Never had a problem until this past flair up. The Dr. upped my prescription and my tolerance skyrocketed. Anyway, over the past 2 weeks I have been weaning myself and went from 10 regular strength per day to 1 Ultram per day finally. On Saturday my taper will end and we will see what my detox experience is like.

The one thing I noticed after the first couple weeks is that I have adjusted to *feeling* things again, which was challenging at first after not feeling much for the months on Vicodin. Sitting through feelings and not being numb when the day was stressful, painful, difficult, etc. was the first change I noticed. I am used to that again now, so at least there is one piece of the struggle dealt with.

I am exercising, taking my vitamins, very active in church, looking forward to falling in love again with all the things that have fallen away because of the pain and pills. I’m eating well, drinking fluids, ready to begin this next chapter of the rest of my life.

Can I please post here each day to check in with you all? I am suddenly a single mom to three young children and I need to do this for myself, and my little ones of course. No one knows about my addiction (my life is somewhat public), so I will go through this process on my own. That’s how I want it. But having you to talk to and if you could look out for me a little bit, it would mean the whole world. If you can post any words of advice or encouragement please, I will drink them in like water - I promise!

Thank you so much.

[dominosarah]

Everyday is a miracle Megan~~~~Your so positive and that is so refreshing.  Soon the taste will turn into a full buffet~~Keep it going girl!!         sara

[MeganDowney]

Thank you thank you thank you for all your encouragement. Today was like a miracle. Even if tomorrow I take a step back - or even if I feel TOTALLY like poop again - I have had a taste of what waits on the other side of all this. And it is SO worth every single second of recovery. :)

Megan

[gnarly_1]

HI Megan just stoped by and im so happy to read things are getting better for you
im sure its been a long week but you handled it well it should be better each day from here out...hang in there your in the tail end of it now...have you thought about aftercare yet?? if not nows a good time to get pluged in good luck and God bless....Gnarly

[jstntime]

Isn't it great to actually crave and enjoy FOOD again???

Counting hours is not fun, I certainly recall those days vividly, sweating and freezing and sweating and freezing and sick and running to the bathroom!!!!!!  UGGGGHHHHH!!!!

I sure hope you have seen the worst.  This post will be a great reminder as to what awaits you should you be thinking about going back!!!

Very very happy for you Megan, keep your spirits up, you are doing an amazing job.

bob

[MeganDowney]

Hi Bob,

Yes thanks today is like a whole new world! I am certainly not completely recovered by any means, but it is like night and day from the past week. today has flown by. It's almost 2pm here, which means I've been up and going since 5:30 and I feel great. The past couple days I was literally counting the hours. I even just had a sandwich, root beer and bbq chips with my oldest...it was delicious for the first time in forever. :)

thanks again for checking in on me. :)

Megan

[jstntime]

Hey again,

So happy to hear you are having a better day.  You are having dance parties are you???  ha ha.  Distraction is key when you feel like "losing it".  Sometimes just getting your mind going in a different direction can make a huge difference.

Take the sleep when you can get it.  It will come back!!!!

It was great to see you still hanging in there, You CAN do this!!!

bob

[LeaAnn807]

Have fun, Sara!  What's the temp up there?  Does it get very hot?  I'm in Arkansas, and we are COOKING!  My pool water is even warm!

[dominosarah]

Glad you are feeling better this morning!!  I am heading to the lake for some sun and relaxation!!

[LeaAnn807]

That is good news.  Getting some exercise will help you too!  I'm getting ready to go walk right now for the same reason!!! : )

[MeganDowney]

Good morning! I think my stomach is a little better today! I got only a couple hours of sleep, but the nausea and other stuff finally feels not so terrible. And despite the tiny sleep, I have a bit more energy today. Keep you posted as the day progresses!

[gnarly_1]

HI Megan just wanted to post to you to encourage you a bit....your getting it done one day at a time....the stomach problems su## but it is what it is and your just going to have to deal with whatever this detox throws at you...try not to get discouraged the energy crash is pritty common it will pass in time....im so sorry to here your having to manage 3 little ones at the same time your doing this....it would be good if you could get some help
right now just hang in there time will soon be on your side untill then you just have to bit the bullet YOU CAN DO THIS its just going to take a little more perseverance...are you able to get any sleep at all yet ?? once that starts to return you wont feel as run down
remember to keep pushing the fluids keep posting where all out here for your support
good luck and God bless.....Gnarly  

[dominosarah]

Tramadol has a way of haaaaanging on.....good possibility that this is what is taking so long.  You are doing great and cherish the time you can dance with your babies~~~~~sara

[MeganDowney]

did you have this same level of discomfort with tramadol? I am wondering if it might be feeling that more than anything...not sure :(

[MeganDowney]

One thing I did tonight that made a huge difference (I don’t know where I found the strength) but I usually have these silly dance parties with my kids a couple nights a week. Anyway, I found that “Blessed Be the Name” song that the Newsboys did on Youtube and played it three times in a row. I take turns with which baby I hold while we all dance around like maniacs. It really, really helped summon up some energy, laughter and good feelings in spite of how crummy I feel. Couldn't have done that a couple hours earlier!

[MeganDowney]

You guys are WONDERFUL! I’ve got the little ones to bed (I have 2 under 2) and it’s just me and the 5 year old left up for some games before bedtime. Wow today was a minute by minute battle to push through. Not in terms of cravings or anything, just surviving the physical effects. I literally have at least one child in my arms every second of the day, which normally I love and can handle. But having to be “on” from 6am-9pm without a break all day – AND pushing through this process – is almost too much to survive. But I did it. :) And yes, I gave myself a Monday deadline that if my stomach situation isn’t any better then I will go to the Dr. I needed to put some benchmark in place so that I knew an end was in sight worst case scenario.

[dominosarah]

Sometimes an antacid will help too.  I know this is very draining but it really does take time.  IF the stomach problems dont go away you better go and see the doctor.  You have come so far so keep hanging in there.  Lean on us okay~~~~~~sara

[jstntime]

I've heard many people describe it like they feel as though they are a brick.  I remember it well.

It IS tough.  It feels like all you could do is sleep yet even THAT doesn't work too well.

Time truly is the only remedy.  Perhaps you have someone that could come over and give you a hand with the kids or watch them for you???  You need a break Megan and I hope you are able to get one.

Keep keeping OK???  It WILL get better.

bob

[MeganDowney]

Hi bob,

thanks - yes I got the immodium at noon today. Just not feeling much different yet. I am starting to feel really weak - not mentally - just physically weak. It's exhausting me to stand up and cook dinner or even walk to the next room to heat up a baby bottle.

Megan

[jstntime]

Hey Megan,

Hang in there.  You need to get the immodium for sure.  If you only get ONE supplement, make sure it's THAT one!!!

Being a single mom is TOUGH when you feel GOOD so I can understand how difficult this must be.  You just have to do what you can do and believe us when we tell you that you will eventually feel better.  It is an ordeal for sure but you CAN and ARE doing it.

When the immodium takes care of the stomach stuff you will be much more able to handle this.  

Goodluck Megan, pulling for you,

bob

[MeganDowney]

Please send some words of encouragement. I am so sick of feeling sick. It’s starting to wear me down. My stomach situation continues to be just miserable since last Thursday. Seems to be getting worse, not better each day. I don’t even have the energy anymore to do the light physical tasks that were helping me to feel better last weekend. Being a single mom is hard already, but this is becoming unbearable. It’s the nausea, CONSTANT bathroom problems and stomach cramping that is taking its toll. Suggestions?

[NorcBgone]

Actually i just bought the generic brand and its been fine. yes, the liquid stuff would not have settled well with me at all!

[MeganDowney]

No!!! Really? I wish I knew that a week ago. :) thanks so much.

Megan

[NorcBgone]

Absolutely! But, they have immodium in pill form now so you dont have to drink the liquid.

[MeganDowney]

Yay for Day 7 - congratulations!  My stomach is soooooooo queasy still - it's miserable. I'm grossed out by the idea of drinking Immodium, but maybe I need to just get over it and buy some. Do you think it will help?

Megan