Need WD support network this week - can you help?

[MeganDowney]

Hello everyone,

I am inspired by your words of support. I am about to start a FOREVER detox and am hoping I can turn to you for my own support over the next few days.

I have been using vicodin as needed for the past few years for a condition in my spine. Never had a problem until this past flair up. The Dr. upped my prescription and my tolerance skyrocketed. Anyway, over the past 2 weeks I have been weaning myself and went from 10 regular strength per day to 1 Ultram per day finally. On Saturday my taper will end and we will see what my detox experience is like.

The one thing I noticed after the first couple weeks is that I have adjusted to *feeling* things again, which was challenging at first after not feeling much for the months on Vicodin. Sitting through feelings and not being numb when the day was stressful, painful, difficult, etc. was the first change I noticed. I am used to that again now, so at least there is one piece of the struggle dealt with.

I am exercising, taking my vitamins, very active in church, looking forward to falling in love again with all the things that have fallen away because of the pain and pills. I’m eating well, drinking fluids, ready to begin this next chapter of the rest of my life.

Can I please post here each day to check in with you all? I am suddenly a single mom to three young children and I need to do this for myself, and my little ones of course. No one knows about my addiction (my life is somewhat public), so I will go through this process on my own. That’s how I want it. But having you to talk to and if you could look out for me a little bit, it would mean the whole world. If you can post any words of advice or encouragement please, I will drink them in like water - I promise!

Thank you so much.

[MeganDowney]

did you have this same level of discomfort with tramadol? I am wondering if it might be feeling that more than anything...not sure :(

[MeganDowney]

One thing I did tonight that made a huge difference (I don’t know where I found the strength) but I usually have these silly dance parties with my kids a couple nights a week. Anyway, I found that “Blessed Be the Name” song that the Newsboys did on Youtube and played it three times in a row. I take turns with which baby I hold while we all dance around like maniacs. It really, really helped summon up some energy, laughter and good feelings in spite of how crummy I feel. Couldn't have done that a couple hours earlier!

[MeganDowney]

You guys are WONDERFUL! I’ve got the little ones to bed (I have 2 under 2) and it’s just me and the 5 year old left up for some games before bedtime. Wow today was a minute by minute battle to push through. Not in terms of cravings or anything, just surviving the physical effects. I literally have at least one child in my arms every second of the day, which normally I love and can handle. But having to be “on” from 6am-9pm without a break all day – AND pushing through this process – is almost too much to survive. But I did it. :) And yes, I gave myself a Monday deadline that if my stomach situation isn’t any better then I will go to the Dr. I needed to put some benchmark in place so that I knew an end was in sight worst case scenario.

[dominosarah]

Sometimes an antacid will help too.  I know this is very draining but it really does take time.  IF the stomach problems dont go away you better go and see the doctor.  You have come so far so keep hanging in there.  Lean on us okay~~~~~~sara

[jstntime]

I've heard many people describe it like they feel as though they are a brick.  I remember it well.

It IS tough.  It feels like all you could do is sleep yet even THAT doesn't work too well.

Time truly is the only remedy.  Perhaps you have someone that could come over and give you a hand with the kids or watch them for you???  You need a break Megan and I hope you are able to get one.

Keep keeping OK???  It WILL get better.

bob

[MeganDowney]

Hi bob,

thanks - yes I got the immodium at noon today. Just not feeling much different yet. I am starting to feel really weak - not mentally - just physically weak. It's exhausting me to stand up and cook dinner or even walk to the next room to heat up a baby bottle.

Megan