Need encouragement!!!

[helps02]

Hello all, I've been about 2wks clean and I'm feeling better.  I'm taking my first trip out of state "alone" visiting some friends and family that i haven't seen in over10 years. I feel like I need to get a way for awhile. But I'm leaving my NA group and church family for a week and i'm afraid I might relapse when I'm on vacation.  I need some encouraging words to help me get through this.  My DOC was hydros 10mg I was taking up to 30+ a day before i quit withdrawls were a nightmare I don't ever want to go through that again!!!

[freedom007]

wow...good for you.  Letting people in to our little secrets help so much.  It is one major reason that I have been clean for the longest period in 20 years.  Once everyone knows, they can help and you can be held accountable.  And for whatever reason, when people know, it makes letting them down SO much harder.

You will feel amazing if you can pass this test.  It will be hard.  Lord knows going into the city for me is always a stomach turner.  But every time I make it back out sober, the reward is worth the fight.

~ Free

[helps02]

Thanks for all the support and encouragement!! It is really great to know that people here are pulling for your success and not your failure.  I have come clean with my aunt. I called her and let her know about my situation. I started the conversation with "remember when I had back surgery two years ago?" Well six months before that is when it all started for me (the addiction that is) I told her how hard it was for me to come off those little pills and seeing them or being around them is very tempting for me and if she could before I get there put them somewhere I would not find them.  I told her I would do my very best not to destroy her trust in me.  I was a little ashamed when I told her this, but she told me she was glad I said something that it would be the same as if my alcoholic cousin went over there she would not have liquor in her house.

[janvic60]

that is great that you are going on a trip.You know in your heart what you need. Imagine what you would feel like if you relapsed.Dont forget where your greatest strength comes from. You and I have talked about this. You have a great time and focus on getting to week 3. Im here for you girl. Praying hard for you to see the glory in Him instead of them (pills)

[vicki595]

Suboxone? Adderall?    Good Lord...

dlsdad~ Sometimes a change in geography is just the thing!  Different routines,faces etc..really keep your mind occupied.  If you could do 2 weeks,you can do this. Just stay strong and keep those phone numbers handy!
All the best~
Vicki

[dlsdrd]

Congrats helps02.  Without saying the same thing everyone's already mentioned here, I would ask if your relationship with your aunt is one which you could tell her what you're going through?  I sincerely hope so.  If you can, I would highly recommend it.  That way you can tell her that you know she has the meds there at her house, and as her to please put them in a VERY secure place, hide them, or even better, get them out of the house (maybe a good neighbor could store them for the few days for her?)...I know it sounds like a lot, but judging from what your addiction voice is telling you, you will find a way to get them if you don't make it as difficult as possible for yourself.  I am not challenging your recovery, or saying that you will fail at all.  I'm merely sharing my own personal experience.  I will find them if they're in her house.  I'll steal them.  Hell I'll even justify my taking them.  What worked for me (and still does) is when I know that they aren't even in the house (I used to take my mother's) until I told her she had to keep them out of the house.  Even having them "hidden" was more like a game to me...a scavenger hunt that almost fueled my desire to use.  Don't tempt yourself by figuring you can just use your will power.  If that was a successful plan of action, you never would have let your addiction get to this point right?  I wish you all the luck in the world.  I found that letting everyone know what was going on--while humilliating and embarassing--really was the key to getting my recovery going.  Had I not let people know (especially people I knew had the drugs), I would have just kept on "keeping on" by pilfering their stock.  It's refreshing to know that today people look at our addiction (oxy, percocet, vicodin, Norco) with a more sympathetic view--at least I think--so you may be surprised at how your coming clean to your aunt might go.  Anyone can get addicted to this stuff nowadays with the rate at which they are prescribed, so while shame can be a helpful tool in this recovery--if used properly--if your recovery is really the most important thing to you, you may need to confide in her, and ask her to help you.  You might be amazed how once you know that they are no longer in the house, your active addiction voice disappears.  Heck, you could really enjoy your time on vacation.  Best of luck to you helps02.  I know we all want to get our lives back, so I hope my two cents helps.  Let us know how your trip went when you get back--or let us know while you're there if you feel like updating (that may help since you'll be out of your NA/AA comfort zone maybe).  Good luck.

[GJROOSK]

Hey this goes to ANYONE TRYING TO QUITE ANY kind of OPIATES!!  I have been clean for a year .. I took OXY and ROXY up to 300 milligrams a day... It took a long time to quite but it was a trial and error thing.. you have to find out what works for you!.. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!!  I went to a program outpatient... "THE WELLNESS CENTER"  In Tarpon Springs FL.... I was lucky enough to have someone help me pay for it... BUT YOU DONT NEED THIS.. you just need the KNOWLEDGE.. you can do it yourself... FIRST- know that opiates decrease your dopamine levels!  DOPAMINE is a pleasure sensor in the brain... it is released when you experience pleasure.. like sex.. or the game winning three pointer.. get the drift... every time you take an opiate it gives you a false dopamine... you feel happy... when you stop ... your body takes months to build this chemical back up... so a good substitute is adderall... take this when goin through your withdrawls.. AND suboxone.. if you can... it is a miracle drug!.. but if your just taking suboxone you will still have trouble with fighting the mental addiction and depression that comes along with it!!   SO MAKE SURE TO TAKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN SUBOXONE!   If you cant get adderall .. get GINSENG, VITAMIN B12, and Multivitamins.. drink alot of water and juices... IF YOU DONT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ALL OF THESE THINGS... Its just going to make is HARDER!

[refusingbondage]

Ok sending lots of encouragement!  YES that certainly is your addiction talking. And I commend you for your honesty.. that's one step to beating it!  You cannot let anything compromise your sobriety.  I totally understand family obligations.  The scenario you describe is similar to one of my own that kept me relapsing for months.  Two weeks is great but its a very delicate time.  For me, I know to stay clean I have to avoid everything and everyone (even well meaning people without any problems of their own) at all costs.  That being said, you have to go.  SOOO..Find out about local meetings.. There are also Online NA meetings.. Keep posting here.  Does your family know?? If so, tell them your struggling and to be very vigilant of you (this has worked for me).  I wish you the best.  You will have to be very strong, but talking about it now will help you beat it later.  Good luck.

[helps02]

I will be out of town for at least 7 days, the bad thing is the aunt that i am visiting has her own health issues and has hydro's, lortabs, oxy's and other pain meds for her own problems. I'm visiting her because she is so sick and needs help around her house and is alone this Easter holiday.  I have other family members that are visiting her too, but I feel like i am gonna get tempted and sneak some of her meds.  I know that sounds aweful, but I'm just being honest.  I keep saying one or two days on opiates won't hurt, but I know I'm just lying to myself and thats the addict talking.  I don't want to use again I want to be strong!! I will get some phone numbers and will come to this site during the time I'm over there for support.

[Danny111]

Congratulations on two weeks clean.  That's awesome.  How long will you be out of town for?  I think the best idea would be to go to an NA meeting or meetings where ever it is you're visiting?  If not can you get phone numbers of people from your regular NA meeting to call if you're having dangerous thoughts?