Hi there! I’ve been in a similar boat using pretty regularly for 14 years, with only one year of sobriety that for some reason threw away. Probably because I got lazy and didn’t work a program. I too am getting ready to get clean again. Have you tried Kratom? If it’s legal in your state I HIGHLY recommend it. I have used it before and have had NO withdrawal symptoms. Be warned though, many many people have become dependent on it and I’ve heard withdrawal from it can be just as ugly as withdrawal from opioids. I suggest you read up on it thoroughly and join a Facebook group where you can learn more about it. It has saved many lives. It makes quitting pills very doable! I recommend that you start small with dosages and get off it within two weeks. That’s my plan.
Have you decided if you’re gonna do cold turkey or a taper? I found when I quit it was easier to achieve when I had a plan. Are you going to have support or use medication to help with withdrawals? I quit opiates and had a therapist, used art therapy, methadone maintenance program in the beginning and then quit methadone. I’m older and I’ve since quit the 12 step program like 20 years ago so I’m not much support in that area. But I’m successful at not being on opiates, heroin or methadone. I’ve also used Suboxone in a medically supervised environment. I also have bought it on the streets and used sporadically to keep me well.
I’m also not a spiritual or religious person. You put in the effort and you’ll see results. It’s up to you.