You will find some of the answers you seek here,,,a lot of good people here,,,,,, I personally have not tried heroin but i heard the detox can get challenging.
You said : "The worst part about it is that I love it, I love the feeling that I get.. I haven't felt any better than that my whole life"
Thats the nature of the opiates, But its a lie,,,,,, I felt that way too after they gave my roxy after surgery,,..
I kept chasing that feeling..."i wanted that feeling all the time" who wouldnt,? ,,when high,,,,,I liked my life, i liked my job.. i had no emotional pain, i was creative, loving.....i could dance...(oh wait i still cant dance).......bascially it plugged me in to life......
For me its kinnda like sex,,,,"never as good as the first time" plus..i cant maintain anymore,,my tolerance is so high it would cost tons to keep the lie going..
When you're ready...and seems like you are by your post....
threre are a lot of people here for you....
I understand what you are saying, but the drug you lie so much , will take everything in your life away from you, including your life. It grows rapidly and it will need to be constantly fed. Think about it as a demon inside you that needs to be fed more and more, where suddenly that is all you will do and will never be enough. Your whole day will turn into where can I get it, is it going to be enough, if you don’t have it you will be so sick and etc…Get help while you still have things to fight for. Get away from anything that will take you to heroin…I have seen so many lives destroyed by it….look into opiates.com and get help there or anywhere else you can.
You don't need any drugs to be happy, of course the drug will make you feel good that's what they do. But it will take over your life. All your money will be gone, you'll lose everything. You need to try to get your boyfriend help. And its not smart to try anything once. Would u try crack? Or meth? I hope not. Just be the good person u were meant to be. I'll be prayin for u.
I have never done herion, so do not know much about it, Painkillers was my drug of choice, Sweetie it sounded like you had a future going for you until the boyfriend introduced you to this evil drug, of course we all have minds of our own and we can say no. You say you Love him, but if you were sober and clear headed would you love him as much? You have children that need you more than he does. Give it up.